She waited until the door had shut behind Jane, and then looked down at her cell phone. Marcus' messages looked back at her in accusation. He was such a dear man, and she was about to destroy his hopes and dreams.

She sighed, wishing she could just forget about this and go downstairs with Jane. Thinking of him brought a smile to her face, although the poor man was probably in agony, waiting for her to finish the call to Marcus.

Patrick was an interesting man, she thought for perhaps the millionth time. He appeared so sure of himself, often to the point of arrogance. But she knew that inside he suffered all sorts of insecurities and fears. She knew that right now he was terrified she'd return to Marcus.

Well, that wasn't going to happen, but she did need to call the poor man and let him know she wasn't coming to DC.

With another sigh she pressed the call button on her phone.

And Marcus picked up almost instantly.

"Teresa! Are you alright? I've been so worried when I didn't hear from you. I just called Abbott and he said you were okay, but why didn't you call?"

Marcus words, laced with concern as well as understandable irritation, poured over her like boiling water. She flinched and wished, above everything, that the call was already finished.

"I'm so sorry Marcus. I should have called before this. Things got crazy, and then I was up all night, and when I got back to the hotel I simply crashed. I just woke up. Again, I'm so sorry."

"That's okay Teresa," Marcus replied, seeming to calm down when he realized she was okay. "I was just worried."

"I'm fine," she told him. "Uh -"

"So, what flight are you coming in on," he interrupted her. "I've found a great apartment I think you're gonna love. It's an easy commute to work and there are lots of little restaurants and coffee shops within walking distance. The apartment has lots of light. I can hardly wait until you see it! In fact, I can hardly wait until I see you!"

Oh God! This was worse than she thought it would be. "Uh – Marcus," she said, sounding hesitant. "There's something I need to tell you."

There was a pause on the phone. "What's happened?" he asked carefully, his voice taking on a somber quality.

"I'm not coming to DC," she said in a rush.

Again, there was silence, this time for longer. "I'm assuming you mean never," he said quietly.

"I uh – yes, that's right. I'm so sorry Marcus. I don't want to do this to you, but I've changed my mind. I think – no, I know it's better for me to stay in Austen. My life is here, and I've just started my caree - "

"It's Jane, isn't it," he interrupted. "He convinced you to stay."

She closed her eyes, wishing that she could just shut everything out, including this conversation, but of course she couldn't. "I decided on my own to stay, Marcus," she told him. "No one convinced me to do anything."

"Teresa," he chided, "you were all ready to move to DC – hell, you even told me you'd marry me. There must have been something that happened to change your mind – and all I can think of is Jane. Please, tell me the truth. You owe me that much at least."

He was right – she did owe him an explanation. She owed him the truth. "Marcus, please know that I really did care for you. I wasn't lying to you. I thought we could have a good life together and I was planning to go with you because I wanted that life."

"But?" he asked when she paused.

"But – my feelings for Jane were – well, they were complicated. I think you always knew that there was something between us, something that hadn't been settled."

"I knew," he agreed. "I guess I just hoped it was that you were used to each other, that you were finding it hard to let go."

"There was some of that but – it was more."

"More?" he asked softly.

"I realized I loved him, that I have loved him for a long time."

"And what made you realize that" he asked, for the first time sounding both angry and bitter.

"He told me he loved me," she admitted. "I didn't know, you see. I thought he'd buried his heart with his wife. But when I was leaving he finally had the courage to tell me how he felt. He was terrified, which is why it took so long for him to admit it. And when he told me – well, I realized I felt the same."

"And you immediately fell all over him and agreed to give up everything we had?"

She could feel the tears gather in her eyes. He was angry – angry and hurt – and she couldn't blame him. She also knew there was nothing she could say to make things better. She felt like a horrible human being.

"Marcus, please believe me. I never meant to hurt you. I really didn't know my own heart. I was planning to go with you, to start a new life with you but – I can't leave now. I have a chance here, with Jane, and he and I have been together as friends and coworkers for many years. Now I want to see if we can be together in a new way. I would give anything not to have hurt you. What happened isn't fair to you, I know, but I can't just let this chance go. It took me a long time to realize it, but I love him and I need to stay in Austen. It would be even more unfair for me to go with you when I'm in love with someone else. I'm just so, so sorry that it took me this long to figure it out."

"Well, I guess there really isn't anything I can say, is there? If I thought I had any chance at all I'd fly down and knock Jane's teeth out and take you back with me – but I don't do I? I don't have a chance. I just wish, Teresa, that you'd figured out you loved him before dating me. Maybe that way I wouldn't have let myself love you." He stopped for a moment, and she could hear him take a deep breath. "I wish you and Jane all the best," he told her, "and I wish you luck. You're going to need it."

With that she heard a click and the call was finished.

She immediately burst into tears.

How could things have gotten so messed up, she said to herself. Why did she let herself date Marcus when Jane was always in the back of her mind. Thinking back over the last few weeks, she knew that she had subconsciously been waiting for him to intervene, to stop things. When he hadn't (and she would have to ask him about that!) then things had just kept moving on like a fast moving train which she hadn't been able to get off.

It was a damned good thing Jane had come onto her plane and told her he loved her. She suddenly realized she would have ended up marrying Marcus and was pretty sure they both would have ended up being miserable. Marcus was just too nice for her.

The tears slowly dried up, and she swiped her hand across her face. She chuckled softly. As much as normal had appealed to her for a bit – in the long run she knew it would drive her insane.

She needed Jane, with all his antics and craziness. Suddenly her life ahead looked exciting rather than just 'normal'.

With that realization she cleaned herself up and made her way down to the lobby. She wanted wonderful and crazy and surprising – all those things she knew she was going to get by loving Jane and being loved in return.

She thought one last time about poor Marcus and felt a sudden sadness wash over her. She wished him well and hoped that soon he'd find someone else to love.

She looked up and saw Jane sitting there, watching her come down the stairs. Her sadness and guilt flew away – even though she knew they would come back for some time yet. For now, however, she had a day ahead with the man she had loved for years. A day in which to start exploring that love.

She walked towards him and smiled. "So, what are we going to do today?"

"