Huh-? Wasn't I just in like, massive pain? Am I so overwhelmed by the pain that I can't feel it anymore? Wait- am I dead? Oh no, no, no, no, NO! Damnit! I- I just got accepted to the college I wanted to go to! My grades- my grades were great! Why would this happen to me? Is God real?
Am I being punished? What for? What did I do?
Wait- on the topic of, uh, God being real, is there, like, an afterlife? Do I go to heaven? Reincarnated? Were the Hindus right?
…
So, I waited. For about, umm, I'm not actually quite sure how long I waited, but, the point is, I'm still conscious. Don't tell me… am I stuck like this for all eternity!? Oh God! That would be, well, about the worst possible thing to ever happen. If that's the case I feel awful for everyone who's died in the past! Well, except maybe like, Hitler, for obvious reasons.
The point is, I'm kinda stuck in this empty void, and I have been for a minute. I want out. I hate it here already! Also, I didn't mention it before-wait, who am I talking to? Myself? Yeah… probably myself, well, no point in worrying about it-as I was saying, I didn't mention it before, but I don't
like, feel anything… As in, my senses aren't working, not that I'm some sort of psychopath!
…
Aghh! My non-existent eyes! What the hell was that? I didn't see before so why am I now seeing such a blinding light? This is horrible! Awful! Terrible! It feels like Discord light-mode!
Wait- if I'm seeing a light like this, it's definitely important!
…
Of course it is dumbass.
…
Well, anyways, that light, is it the Gates of Heaven, or… am I being reincarnated? I'm just now thinking of it, but reincarnation sounds like a, well, really exciting opportunity! I'm kinda a loser and I was really into anime, light novels, manga, the like, and so I'm well used to the isekai tropes and well… This feels like I'm being y'know, reincarnated! (Also, just because I like anime doesn't mean I'm a nonce! Wait- why am I telling myself this, I should already know I'm not into kids…)
Anyways… so, I'm being reincarnated! Wait- I shouldn't get ahead of myself or create false hope,
that only leads to being let down after all.
Now, to continue my train of thought-
"彼女の名前はアリスです。" a voice says.
Huh-? I just heard a voice? Wait- is that Japanese!? I'm being reincarnated in Japan? That's… both good and bad, I think?
Hm? I notice that the blinding light is gone, in front of me is the face of a woman. She looks like a fairly young adult, I'd place her in her mid 20s. By a few years-I am, or was? Not quite sure, but, point is I was 18-she's older than me then. The woman has lightly tanned skin, warm amber eyes, and hair the color of fine leather.
Actually, why is she right in front of me? Oh wait, she must be my mother-! Or a doctor? Wet nurse? I think she's my mother, and if that's the case, lucky me! Attractive parents means I'll be good-looking too right? Hope my dad is a good-looking guy too-! Well, saying that out loud in my head sounds weird…
Ok, one thing I've noticed though… this woman… doesn't look Japanese… I mean! I don't mean to, y'know, make assumptions and all-which is exactly what I'm doing right now actually-but like, Japan doesn't have many white people does it? Pretty sure it doesn't.
But, white people speaking Japanese, plus reincarnation? This really does sound like an anime doesn't it…
"こんにちは、私の美しい息子です。" the woman in front of me says, confirming that the previous voice was also the woman. Once again, I don't understand what she's saying.
So, let's review here. I've been reincarnated after dying a horrible painful death-so much so I don't want to even say what my cause of death is-and I've ended up in either real life Japan, or a fantasy world! The second option sounds a lot more interesting, but also, far scarier. At least in Japan I know I can live a standard safe life, and with my memories from my previous life I can get a head start and really live a nice life! But… Japan is a bit boring as a place to be reincarnated into. I'd much rather be reincarnated into a fantasy world! Yeah, it's much-much, much, much-more dangerous, but- I could actually be like- cool! Not to say I was a loser before, but like, I wasn't anything special really… My grades were good and I had friends, but I always felt like I was missing out on something in life.
In a fantasy world I could really live out my fantasy!
…
Yeah… that sounded kinda stupid but you-once again myself, I'm not like, a fictional character or anything-get the point!
…
While I've been participating in an inner monologue, the people around me have been having a full conversation, and also moving me around. When they were moving me around I managed to see that there's only two people in the room. My mother, and who I assumed to be my father. So, no wet nurse? That counts out being a noble already… damn, that's unfortunate, especially now that I've determined I'm definitely in a fantasy world by looking at the room I'm in. The room has stone walls, with a wooden floor-nice for a peasant's house-and is decorated with about what you'd expect in a medieval bedroom.
Yeah, it's nice for a peasant's house, but, still… being a peasant, kinda sucks… As a peasant I likely can't expect the highest quality of living. Likely not even an education, though, being someone who's already experienced a-probably-better education than even the nobles in this world, it's not that big of a deal. Yet, the issue still stands, I'm a fucking peasant! Really!? Nobles can up and abuse me like it's no big deal! Plus! I'm probably going to have to do some like, child labor or shit! As someone used to the comforts of the modern world this is absolutely awful!
…
Wait what-? Did this woman just take out her tits!? Huh-!? The fuck is she doing!?
Wait-! She's going to breastfeed me!? I feel really conflicted about this! Hey lady! I never consented to this! While breastfeeding sounds hot on the surface, there's two big problems here! First of all, I don't even like milk on its own-it tastes nasty by itself, sue me-and also, I don't even feel attracted to this woman! The fact she's my mom is a huge turn-off!
…
So, I'm now a newborn sucking from a woman's teat… Wait- am I a male or a female?
…
I don't feel anything down there…
Don't tell me…
I'm in a female body now!? Well shit!
First of all, I still feel like a man on the inside, I think I'll end up feeling some sort of dysmorphia! Second of all, I still like women! And femboys too, but I can't count on them existing in the world… well maybe since it's some sort of anime world? Wait- do I even know that yet? Anyways, the point is, I don't know how accepting this fantasy world will be of a woman who prefers other women over men!
I don't want to be lynched for not being straight!
Will I end up being known as some sort of bewitched child? That sounds awful! Actually, now that I think about it, isn't it weird for a baby to be this quiet? I haven't said a word or, well, babbled, at all! I mean some babies don't cry when they're born but usually they at least make sounds!
I proceed to make incomprehensible sounds to imitate the babbles of a newborn child.
Well whatever. Anyways, what's more important is gathering information and forming a plan of action. First things first, I'm a baby. I cannot really do anything except think, at least for like, a year or two. Wait, this kinda sucks doesn't it? Being a baby sounds just generally awful… Well, whatever, more time to think!
So, this appears to be some sort of medieval fantasy world-how original-but the people here speak Japanese… which is odd…
Now that I think about it, wasn't that how it was in Re:Zero too? I'm a big fan of that series, and as a big fan of it, I can tell you I'd definitely not want to be in that world!
"Rejoice, Alys, for you possess the 「Divine Protection of Light」." I hear… my own voice-? say to me. Huh? Wait, wait, wait, wait, what? I swear I just heard my own voice-albeit in a slight more ethereal tone-tell me I have a fucking divine protection!?
First of all, talk about timing! I just thought of Re:Zero and now I hear this! Second of all, fuck, I'm in Re:Zero! This is about the worst possible scenario I could've imagined!
Okay, okay calm down… Let me process this…
Okay, so, first, Alys? Is that supposed to be me? So my parents must've named me that… Not a bad name all things considered, I suppose. Wait I kinda sound like- nevermind, not important. Anyways, second, the Divine Protection of Light? I don't quite know the entire list of divine protections but I can easily guess by the name what it is, an increased compatibility with light magic! Actually, it could be something else, but I instinctively know that's what the divine protection does. Huh, strange.
This is great! I may be stuck in this fucking hell world called Re:Zero, but at least I have a powerful divine protection! Actually, on the topic of being in Re:Zero, where in the world am I? Lugnica? I really hope so, considering I know the most about it compared to the other countries. Well, I don't think I'll find out immediately. What I should focus on is trying to somehow learn the language.
So, umm, how do I do that?
I can't exactly read a textbook… wait- Since I'm now in the body of a child, does that mean I have the language acquisition skills of a child? I better! Well, I guess this is another thing that will take time, I'll just have to observe and learn.
…
I feel tired.
…
I have the stamina of a baby too, don't I?
…
Damnit, I'm about to fall asleep.
…
The sounds of a baby snoring lightly can be heard, and a woman and a man can be seen looking at said baby with adoring looks on their faces.