Chapter 4 – Kansas City/All er Nuthin'/I Can't Say No
Scene: It is near Aunt Eller's estate. Judd is walking off some steam. He sees Will Parker and Ali Akim talking. They seem to be talking about something. Judd tries to ask Ali a question. However, Will starts talking to Judd.
Will: Hi Judd.
Judd: What do you want?
Will: I heard you were arguing with Ali about his products.
Ali walks away.
Will: I have a solution that will solve all of your problems.
Judd: What is that?
Will: Try God.
Judd: That will fix everything.
Will: Yes. I used to go to burlesque shows and look and fool around. Now I am going steady with my girlfriend, Ado Annie. I also have Gertie chasing me.
Judd: OK.
Will: Ado Annie used to hang around with almost any other guy. In fact, I once thought her name was a nickname for "I do any." It turns out that is her real name. Her father calls her Ado Annie.
Judd: She would not do it with me. She said I was beneath her standards.
Will: It's God's wish. I know that incident was before I met her. However, you were not meant to be with anybody. Otherwise, it would have happened.
Judd: It appears that I was meant to be both poor and alone. Nothing I do ever works. I can do one thing or the exact opposite. Same result.
Will: Don't blame me. Even though he loves you, it is God's will that you fail. It is either because you are not moral enough or God is testing you again and again.
Judd: Well, I want to succeed. I want to get ahead.
Will: You need to give more. Do you have any money you can donate to me? I will be polite to you. Also, you will get the pie in the sky after you die.
Judd: I can't make any money in my farmhand job.
Will: That does not surprise me. You were meant to be poor. You should not be selfish. You should be looking out for others. Be poor. Be celibate. And be obedient.
Judd: Actually, what I really want is to get rich, make love, and be free.
Will: Those are very selfish objectives. God won't like you doing that.
Judd: You and Ado Annie did those things and have a blessed life.
Will: I guess its everybody, but you. Just stare at the pictures in your room. That is what you were meant to do.
Judd: Again, I want to get rich, make love, and be free. Self-interest drives our economy. I want the pursuit of property, life, and liberty.
Will: If you wish to quote the Constitution it is life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Don't you know anything. Be a good American!
Judd: Actually, it is in-. Never mind.
Author's note: It is my intention to criticize any religion or any other group referred to in other chapters. I am just referencing people who may not be the best role models for these organizations.