What's the next thing you, see? Huh? Go on, guess what it is! GO ON! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and 0! What is it? Oh yes, it's a fucking bed! If you guessed correctly, you get FUCK ALL! Anyways, you wake up on a bed, in direct sunlight from a lamp that looks like it was bought from Home Depot. "Y/N… I've been waiting all day for this…" said the all-important unknown voice that is weirdly distorted so that you get slight shivers then get slight hormones and shit. The mysterious man was… fucking Kenny! Again! Why does this fucking dude have to be the paedophile all the fucking time?! Fuck this man. Whatever, then he approaches you slowly, fondles your breasts, you moan a bit, you buy into it, yadda yadda yadda. I've seen this before in fifty shades freed, I don't need to see it in a South Park fanfiction! Bor-fucking-ing! Even if this isn't enough to give you a boner (or firm if you're a women), it's one of the most intense thrillers you'll ever see. Why? Because, then Craig appears, then Clyde, then Tolkien, then Eric, then Kyle, then Stan, MOVE THE FUCK ON, BOOK!
Anyways, we move the fuck on. Some BDSM forced sex shit where one boy plants a mild kiss on your cheek, forcing a blush out of your face. Sadly. Somehow, you were still thinking about Jason, but were stopped from your "very important thinking" to Craig approaching you and placing his stiff penis near your vagina. This is the part where you run away. Very… Slowly… He carefully… inserts… it… inside… the… hole… MAKING YOU SCREAM TO FUCKING HELL! Wow, it's like you've never had sex before, hmmm? Whatever, more weird kinky shit as the boys (aka Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric) then start putting on their smiley revenge faces in your face. Meanwhile, in the basement, Jason is tied up because that isn't fucking illegal as shit. He was forced to hear the moans of you whilst he was tied to a chair, ropes around his body, tape around his hands and mouth, and just forced, to LISTEN TO THOSE FUCKING MOANS. It was like torture, your friend, the only one he knew since she'd moved to the town a few weeks ago, and now she has boyfriends?! Calm down, it's shocking shit I know.
You kept moan as Craig went faster, shoving his erect penis through you, penetrating you to fuck's end and no more. The rest of the guys, including Butters, weren't doing anything, but masturbate to the scene. Not to Craig because that's fucking gay, but to YOUR MOANS. They were so loud that they woke up the neighbors. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT MOANING?!" the neighbor said, looking out of the window and quite clearly seeing what was going on in the bedroom, not children, but masturbation. "Never mind." He said, closing the window and continuing his masturbation to gay pornography. Like most middle-aged men do. Anyway, Jason somehow managed to break the tape because he's so strong and masculine that he would actually let you do things instead of kidnapping you and forcing you to have sex. But you didn't care, and you agreed that this sex at the moment was what you needed most. For some reason, a few hours ago you didn't feel the need to have sex, you should be more concerned that your coffee fell on the floor. Damn you!