Some general warnings since those aren't tag-able here: This fic and future fics of this series will deal with trauma that the manga and anime only touch or hint upon. (Aside from S4, which we'll build off of.) For this specific fic, it will touch upon:
- Bullying/abandonment fears/loneliness.
-Yami's inherent trauma from his end and his literal solitary confinement in the broken Puzzle for 3k years.
- Implied/referenced child abuse from Jonouchi's side of things.
Also future fics will contain Puzzleshipping, one-sided Prideshipping (requited Blueshipping), and Copyshipping (Mai/Jonouchi/Anzu). With very minor Crushshipping (Honda/Shizuka/Ryuuji) later on. And unfavorable/toxic Tieshipping in S0, bc the way Honda/Miho reads is very manipulative on Miho's end towards Honda so we're playing it straight. If these aren't your thing, it might be best to just move on and I'm sorry if you're disappointed. These ships are in here bc we enjoy them (outside of Tieshipping) and not bc we think they should be. Thank you.
Either way, we hope you enjoy.
Nothingness.
Where did it end? Where did it begin? The creature didn't know. All it knew was that that nothingness was its only companion, blanketing it as it free-floats. Was it nothing too? There was no way to tell. No body. No form. No point of reference whatsoever.
Somehow, someway, it was peaceful.
How long it spent free-floating like that it couldn't know. Just that it was long enough for the nothingness to ache. For it to long for a more solid companion. For laughter and merriment and gentle caresses and comforting whispers and true companionship. For family. Not this darkness, this loneliness where the only touch it had was the nothingness suffocating it.
Though, curiously, despite its longing another thought grew along these feelings as well. The thought that, for some reason, this was for the best.
It was meant to be locked away there, in that nothingness. There's no memory as to how it was or why, but there was no doubt in the creature's mind. So even if the aching loneliness became a wariness worn deep in its soul and it imagined vestiges of touch and low, unintelligible whispers promising love and loyalty and caught glimpses of ghostly figures out of its peripheral vision, it promised itself something, then. That it will endure this, no matter what. Because it must.
There's no way to tell how long it's left like that, or how long it takes for light, blinding against the blackness, to invade. Along with it comes a warmth so overbearing it thought it might be consumed. It squeezes its eyes shut as that's the best it can do. It also holds its breath. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Though doubtful, if it were still then maybe the light would go away and it would be left alone once more.
All alone.
But not for long.
A cacophony of sound — of voices and the scraping of words on papyrus and the pounding of feet on stone — accumulating into a wave of white noise that crashes into it. So loud, so overwhelming, compared to the all-consuming, isolating silence of nothingness. It covers its ears, wishing for the noise to stop but all that does is muffle it.
It knows these sounds, somehow. Reminds it of school, even if it knows naught on how it recognizes that.
"Yuugi?"
It tenses as something brushes against its shoulder. The voice, soft and feminine and unfamiliar to it, does nothing to calm its frayed nerves. Whatever it said is foreign. Was it a name? Its name? It sounded wrong. Did it even have a name?
"Yuugi?"
The voice speaks again. Concern seeps into her(?) tone. Despite not knowing her, guilt makes it open its eyes and lower its hands from its ears.
It turns to look.
As they thought, next to them is a young girl no older than 9 or 10. Her round, crystal-blue eyes stare straight into its face. She says something again and though the surrounding noise is quickly fading into the background, it still understands nothing of her words. Whatever language this is, it is incredibly foreign to it.
It takes a second, then, to look down at its hands and study the body it never knew it had. They're small, smaller than it feels they should be, and pale. So strangely pale. They should be darker. Instead of a sun-kissed sand, they should be the rich color of…of what? Why did they look so wrong, feel so wrong? Like its entire being was stretched over a skeleton that didn't belong to it. Over muscles and vessels and sinews and under skin that was not its own.
Flexing its fingers, shuddering as bone creaks underneath. Fabric tightening like a band around its elbow and though it's not quite uncomfortable it's still wrong. It shouldn't be there. Its clothes shouldn't be so tight.
But why did it think that? When this person seemed to know who it was?
Its chest heaves, gulping in breath, but barely feels it. Heart pounding but barely aware.
It was in a classroom, acutely aware of the children around it, but it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be here. Can't be here. If it was here and not nothing, then nothing was safe. It being here was dangerous. It didn't know why, it just was.
It was dangerous.
"Yo, Yuugi!"
A slap on its back and it flinches back, chair clattering to the floor and its clenched fists raised to its chest. Staring at it is a scrappy-looking boy, hair the color of the sun dusting his face and brushing against a white, square bandage. His hands are raised as if placating, but his crooked, scraggly grin says otherwise.
It—Yuugi?—backs away. Bumps shoulders with other kids but doesn't care, its only thought being escape. Even if it has to fight its way out.
Without care or time to be courteous, it rushes out.
White walls fading into gray skies. Brown floors into brown sand stained red. Red. Red red red redredred so much—
It bursts through double doors and into crisp air. Falls onto hands and knees that only sting but don't bleed.
It does nothing to banish that sense of wrongness and panic. Muttering under its breath, it prays to gods it doesn't remember until it finally falls back into nothingness.
When Yuugi awakens, it's to less light and noise. He takes a moment to open his eyes, initially wondering why the lights are off until he sees the concrete, feels crisp wind blowing through his hair, and takes a few deep breaths. His lungs twinge, not unfamiliarly to him as he recognizes the end of a panic attack. Seconds pass as he traces the seams of the overly large pyramid, still a new weight hanging from his neck. Eventually he processes the metal door behind his back, the railing, the necklace being slightly warmer. Somehow he ended up on what seems like the roof of the school.
How did he get here? He tries to think, but the last thing he remembers was opening his bento. He hadn't really been made fun of today, and even when he has he can't recall blindly running like this. But there's also no other reason he'd sprint like he clearly had. If he goes back, maybe Anzu can explain?
He winces, tracing his finger over the eye on the pyramid, the udjat his Grandpa had explained. If that wasn't the case...then what? He can't skip the rest of the day, but he doesn't know what he'd be walking back into!
"Yuugi! Are you there?" It's Anzu's voice, muffled by the door though her concern rings clear all the same. "You were acting really weird. You okay? Is someone being a bully again?"
Yuugi jolts, not expecting his friend's voice, or anyone's really. "I...I don't know." If Anzu didn't know why he ran up here, then what happened? "One minute..." Taking a deep breath, he stands up before turning and opening the door, though he keeps one hand grasped on his necklace. "Can...we talk?"
She smiles at him and nods so enthusiastically her small side ponytail whips back and forth. "You don't have to pretend, you know!" Pushing past him, she plops onto the ground with her back towards open air. "I told you I'd take care of anybody being mean to you."
He nods and shifts back to the wall, sliding down it. Fiddling with the necklace, he takes a moment before he speaks, hardly audible. "I...don't know if anyone was? That's...that's the problem. You didn't hear anyone say something?"
Scrunching up her face, she crosses her arms in thought. "I don't think so! Jonouchi-kun was making a face and being stupid but I made sure he didn't do anything! Other than that I don't know…"
Yuugi frowns. "I don't know what happened..." Would telling Anzu scare her away? He didn't have anyone else to talk to, though. "Last thing I remembered was opening my bento, and then I opened my eyes again and I was on the roof."
"Well," she shifts onto her knees and leans in, peering at his face. "Maybe you're sick! One time during dance lessons I got super sick and forgot what I was doing! Mama had to bring me to the doctor's after."
"Maybe? But I feel fine now… How long were you sick after?"
Anzu shrugs. "I dunno. I think it was a couple days. Maybe we should go to the Nurse's office? If you're sick you should go home!"
Yuugi frowns. "Yeah, I guess. Or maybe I'm just tired." But if he went home, then he wouldn't have to worry about the bullies regardless. So maybe it was a good idea.
Before he can come up with more excuses, Anzu jumps up and pulls Yuugi up with her. "Let's go just in case."
"Ah!" Yuugi hurries to correct his balance before nodding. "O-Okay..." It felt slightly silly still, but if it makes Anzu happy and kind of helps then maybe it's worth it.
They leave the barren rooftop then, unaware of the life now humming within the pyramid hung around Yuugi's neck.
When the creature awakens next, it's not to the loud place with the crowd of kids but to a singular, quiet room. A thin sheet of papyrus sits atop a desk which he peers down at. Strange symbols adorn its surface. Another language? An open book lays next to it, along with some sort of writing utensil.
It frowns and pushes away from the table to stand. The room has some furniture—a standing chest, a bed and blankets, more strange tables—but is otherwise barren.
Why it has names for some things but not for others it still doesn't understand.
Lost. It's still lost in this unknown place. Though that expanse of sand wasn't much better, despite its familiarity.
In what little memory—is it truly a memory if it only came in flashes it couldn't control?—of that place it did have, there were never any people. Not that it could remember.
Not like it was actually human.
"Yuugi!"
That name again. Or it must be a name. It certainly sounds like one.
Once, twice, three times the person knocks before the door opens and a woman with red-brown hair peeks her head through. "Yuugi. ご飯できたよ*."
Definitely his(?) name, or what they thought was its name, at least. She stands there, smiling, for a few more seconds. Then she disappears.
'Yuugi' frowns but follows all the same.
Chatter from people named 'Grandpa' and 'Mom' washes over him. Poking, prodding, it slides the thinly sliced meat across its plate. It smells weird. All the food does. He knows it's pork. He knows the vegetables—slices of onion and chopped carrots and pea pods. They had a nice sheen, heat wafting off of them in clouds. If it weren't for the smell, they would have been tempting.
But it didn't know what the mushy, pale vegetable was. And the thin, bread-like strands underneath the broth were also foreign. And still, the smell…
Strangely sweet with a tang. His instincts told him it was wrong. Dangerous, even. That the food was tampered with or spoiled.
It doesn't know why.
And the sticks they had handed it did not help either. How was he supposed to eat this way?
So there 'Yuugi' sits and prods at the food instead, occasionally glancing up to see how they did it. As if he'd eat the food anyways.
The old man—Grandpa, his mind supplies—keeps stealing looks at him, which really doesn't help. Was he acting weird? Was it because he didn't say that strange phrase earlier?
("いただきます," the two adults say in unison as 'Yuugi' looks on in confusion. When Grandpa sees him staring, after, he frowns and forces 'Yuugi's' head down with one hand. Tears spring to his eyes at the sudden harshness, but bites his lip and tries to suppress them all the same. Somehow, someway, he knows tears are forbidden to him.
Besides, it must be important if Grandpa was mad. Always was, his mind supplies. Grandpa guided him and was always so kind. So if he was angry, it had to be important. {Why did it think that? Grandpa was so achingly familiar and yet it had no memories of him or this life.
Why did looking at him make him so sad?}
At a whack and sudden exclamation from Grandpa, 'Yuugi' looks back up to see his mother holding a wooden spoon and her smile small and strained as she looks at him too.)
He's hungry but doesn't want to eat. Every time it tries to hold the sticks, he sees his one bandaged hand which makes him sick. Grandpa and Mom's concern bear holes into him the longer it sits there. The unpleasant atmosphere is palpable, leaving a sour tang in his mouth.
Too much. Why did he always wake up around others when all he wants is the time and solitude to figure out what was happening himself?
It pushes away from the table and stands. Lingering, though, he doesn't leave until his mother meets his eyes and says, "ごちそうさま."
Why? It doesn't know.
There's only relief when he escapes up the stairs and into 'his' room.
"You've been really quiet lately. Quieter than normal. Which is weird, because you're already quiet! I don't understand how you managed it, but you did!"
Anzu and Yuugi swing lazily under a pale blue sky, book bags slumped against the metal supports. Once humming, she now stops in favor of talking and looking at her friend. She doesn't frown at the new bandage over his nose, sporting it after Jonouchi tripped him when he went to use the restroom. There was no point when she had already made the annoying jerk apologize. Both of them knew it, too.
Yuugi just shrugs at first, giving a small kick off as he stares at his feet. "I just...don't know what to say." With most people, he'd be called crazy, wouldn't he? Everyone else already said he was weird. Anzu wasn't saying it yet, but if he opened up too much she'd probably think that too. She was already saying his new quietness was weird, after all.
They sit in silence for a moment before he softly huffs. He had to tell someone at least and, just maybe, if Anzu has put up with him for this long, she'd still stay even if she thinks he's weird. "Just, it still happens sometimes." His voice is barely audible, even to him, and he tries to raise it slightly, "The blackouts I mean. Where I'll be somewhere, and then next thing I know I'm somewhere else, with no idea why."
"Whoa, really?" Out of the corner of Yuugi's eye, Anzu slows to a stop. "That's weird…" She says with a frown. "Really weird. You okay?"
He freezes, his muscles locking up. "Y-yeah..." He knew it, knew she'd think that. Why did he have to say something? "Nothing seems to have happened with it otherwise at least." As long as that continued, he could just not mention it after. Maybe she'll eventually forget and everything will be back to 'normal'.
The honking of cars interrupts what would have been silence. Cool air nips at their skin. It'll be winter soon and the muted browns of autumn will be bleached white. The sudden cool from the heat of summer was a well felt companion, albeit silent in their frigid conversation.
Anzu's hands tighten around the swing's chain, pale pink nail polish glinting in the sun. She worries her lip, just for a moment, and says, "Let's go to the arcade."
Yuugi offers a slight nod and stands with a wan smile. This was his chance to make things 'normal' again. "Arcade sounds good."
Hopping off their swings, they scoop up their bags and take off. From wood chips onto concrete sidewalks, they push through the crowd. Short, so short compared to the tall adults and teenagers. It was almost intimidating.
Anzu grabs onto Yuugi's hand, just to make sure they don't get separated. An ingrained motion from when they were small children. Anzu, from her first errand. Yuugi from Grandpa. Don't let go and they won't get lost and they won't lose each other.
It didn't matter as much now that they were older. They knew the city by heart—especially the location of the arcade. It was their favorite hangout spot, after all. But, as the streets grow more crowded with each step towards its center, the harder they grip each other's hands.
When they finally make it to the arcade, it's not any less crowded than the streets.
"Let's go get our tokens," Anzu says. "We can play whatever game you wanna play first too."
Yuugi nods. "Usual amount, right? You sure though? I don't mind if I don't pick first." Anzu was always nice and made sure they played what he wanted regardless. But since he was apparently weirding her out, he wanted her to pick first. It's the least he can do, even if he's not very good at her game.
"I'm sure! I bet there's a line for Dance Dance Revolution anyways," she replies, fishing out her coin purse from her school bag. "Here. I have ¥1,600 we can use."
Violet eyes blink. "Eh?! Anzu, are you sure? Aren't you saving up for your dream or something? I can pay my half!" Yuugi says as he rushes to pull his coin purse out of his bag too. "You're always trying to save your allowance!"
"It's fine, really! I got extra for my birthday a while ago." She takes his hand in hers and pushes it back down into the bag, coin purse along with it. "Let's just have some fun, okay?"
Yuugi pouts for a moment but concedes, shutting his bag again. "Okay," he takes a moment then brightens, a smile tugging at his face. "Thank you then!" Anzu really was kind. He was lucky to have her as his friend.
"Of course! Now let's go." She drags him into the crowded arcade.
Flashing lights and jumpy noises and the slight musty scent of too many teenage boys in a small place greets them. Music blasts from the speaker surrounds them, dancing into their ears.
They pass by her favorite game, crowded as she thought it would be. Two kids jump and stomp and dance to its own song, which intermingles with the rest of the noise. They only stop for a moment to watch. Only a moment. Anzu was better, anyways, and magical when she did it. Yuugi swore she sparkled when she danced.
They pass by Yuugi's favorite, next. A street fighting game that he's been practicing lately. It wasn't as crowded as the other game, but kids surrounded it all the same. They'll have to hurry if they want to play it next, Yuugi notes.
But then, just as they near the token machine, they spy a taller kid. Big. Some kind of muscle head, they figure. Dark eyes shadowed under darker, larger eyebrows, stare down at them. Backing away with Yuugi against her, Anzu makes to step aside to let the teenager through.
The world tips and pain smarts Anzu's shoulder before they get the chance. Her money scatters all over the ground. Yuugi squirms under her.
She stammers out a couple apologies, sitting up as quickly as she can. Yuugi doesn't respond, can't. It's as if his voice has been stolen from him. But Anzu doesn't seem to notice as she glares at the bigger kid and says, "That was rude!"
"So?" His voice booms.
Yuugi flinches, but it's on instinct. The world fuzzes around him and it's like he's no longer in his body. Is this a panic attack? He's never felt like this before. Distantly, he hears Anzu shout, "W-Well we didn't even do anything to you! Why'd you have to go and do that? You big bully."
Everything fades to black as the bully rolls his eyes and turns around.
With a huff, Anzu starts to pick up her coins. Why did people have to be so mean? Especially big kids and teenagers? They didn't even do anything to them!
Next to her, Yuugi joins in too. He's awfully quiet and his movements are slow but forceful as he puts them in a pile. His hands shake.
"Bully," he hisses and Anzu freezes.
Venom. His voice is absolutely dripping with venom. So much so that she doesn't think it's Yuugi at first.
She clutches her coins but can't look up. Can't force herself to. Wrong. Something is wrong.
A clatter and she jumps, startled. The teenager is on the ground, rubbing one leg, glaring at a fallen folding chair. A laugh from her right makes her look away and towards Yuugi. He wraps an arm around his belly as he stifles giggles behind a hand. His normally red-violet eyes are alight, glinting red and manic. When Yuugi turns to match her gaze, though, the expression falls. He blinks, one, two, three times and suddenly whatever had come over him is gone and his face twists in confusion.
"Yuugi?" Anzu says, tentatively.
"Anzu? What's wrong?" He looks back to where the other boy had been standing and blinks again. "...How'd he end up on the floor?"
"I think he tripped." Her hand shakes as she reaches out, placing it on Yuugi's shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Red-violet eyes blink, look at his shoulder, and then to her. "Yeah? I mean it was enough to make me—us fall, but it wasn't really that hard of a push otherwise. Are you okay?"
Searching, staring, she doesn't answer for a few seconds. Forcibly she relaxes her shoulders and drops her hand. "I'm okay. I wish everyone wasn't a jerk to you all the time."
"I can't really do much about that but…. I'm sorry you got dragged into it this time."
"I know," she sighs. "But you could try standing up for yourself more. You always let them push you around." She doesn't want to call her friend weak, necessarily, but he never really stands up for himself and it bothers her. It bothers her so much. Especially when it results in bruises and cuts and black eyes. Though if what just happened was Yuugi standing up for himself then maybe there was a better way? One that wouldn't cost him the kindness in his heart.
"Assuming that worked, then it'd go to another kid, right? And besides, everyone else already thinks I'm weird." He looks away, just a little, hand reaching for the now strangely warm Puzzle. "Maybe I can try a little more though."
"Yuugi…" She bites her lip. He was so sacrificial and for what? Theoretical kids that don't care about him and maybe never will. "That's a start. Let's go get our tokens now?"
He smiles as he stands back up and offers her a hand. "Yeah, and then we can get in line for my game, then yours!"
"Okay!" She sweeps the rest of her coins into her purse and stands up. Yuugi soon follows with a helping hand and they head off. Today has been bad and weird but Anzu vowed it would get better from here.
And, as they're swallowed up by the crowd of children, it's like the creature heard her prayer. It stays, slumbering, from within the Puzzle now that its job is done.
AN: This is going to be a series following all of the anime and manga. It's a rewrite that combines the two as there are certain parts of both canons that we really like and don't like. Also we wanted to see what would change if Yami woke up early in light of the fact that the Puzzle is 100% easier to solve than thought.
This specific fic takes place before S0/original manga, starting in the 6th Grade and ends just before Yuugi graduates from Junior High. Even when you count the magic obscuring the Puzzle's solution (to everyone but Yuugi, considering he was chosen) and that recreations may not be fully accurate, 8 years is a little long even for his age. 4 years seemed a lot more reasonable to us, so here we are! There are 3 chapters total. I'll upload them weekly. This is also uploaded to Ao3 if you prefer that website but just know chapter 3 on there isn't the properly beta'd version as we ran out of time for the writing bang this was for. We're working on properly beta'ing it now and it when I upload the final chapter here, it will be properly beta'd and finished.