Riley wasn't sure if it were hormones or instincts that was making her want to cry. It took more energy than vomiting to keep herself from letting her tears go. She and JJ were alone, outside where no one – specifically Reid – would overhear. There, she'd pulled out her phone and quickly brought up a movie, handing it for Riley to watch.
It was Joey's first birthday last September. The entire team had been there to celebrate the occasion with JJ and Will's families. JJ had taken many movies at the party with her phone, but Riley didn't know she'd gotten this particular scene.
Riley was sitting cross legged on the living room floor with the birthday boy in her lap. Reid was beside her playing with Henry and his Tonka trucks. Even Riley had to admit, they looked like a real family. In the movie, Riley was smiling at her husband playing without a care in the world, making his godson giggle like crazy. For someone who could be so serious, he really knew how to connect with children. She was, however, a bit surprised by her own actions. She stroked back Joey's hair a few times lovingly as they watched the two play… she couldn't remember hugging him like that, or putting that kiss on the top of his head. The little baby clung to her adoringly, almost as if she were his own mother.
"Do you see what I see?" JJ asked as the movie ended, carefully taking her phone away. "Because I see my son so happy to be in that woman's arms, who loves him so much. Now how could you honestly say you're not going to make a good mother?"
"It's different, JJ." Riley argued. "Joey is your son. I don't mind being an honorary aunt, I get to love and spoil them without the worry I'm going to screw them up. If they cause me trouble, I can just give them back to you."
"Even an aunt doesn't act like that without some kind of maternal instincts." She pointed out. "You won't even let yourself consider an alternative, will you?"
She wanted to slam her hands down, but there was nothing in front of her. They rested flat against the soft denim on of her thighs. "I have considered it. I've considered the inevitable of hating my child, of ruining this baby's life and driving my husband away. Spencer and I are happy, just him and me. If we try to have more, it could destroy everything."
Letting out a sigh, JJ considered she might be going about this the wrong way. "Look, I'm sorry… I know this is scary. And believe it or not, I know what you're going through. The others don't know this, but… when I got pregnant with Henry, I considered having an abortion."
"Really?" Riley questioned, a bit interested. Knowing she'd been down this road made her suddenly seem to wise. "Why is that?"
"I'm not sure if you know this, but Will and I had a long distance relationship when we started dating. He was one of the local officers on a case in New Orleans when we met and… well, we kept in touch. It got to the point where I was flying down to see him every weekend."
"Every weekend?" She asked, amazed.
"Well, I didn't want the others to see me with him here. It was safer to go to him." She said with a nostalgic smile. Yes, JJ loved her life now and wouldn't trade it for anything, but she sometimes missed the excitement when she and Will first started dating. Sneaking around, flitting off to New Orleans to be with him for a long, passionate weekend, then hurrying back to DC where her friends were none the wiser. Or so she had thought at the time.
Her thoughts were lingering and she suddenly got back on track. "Anyway… all of a sudden, I was in your shoes. I thought it was the flu at first until I went to the doctor and found out otherwise. And I admit, I was terrified. Will and I hadn't really discussed the future, hell we'd just come out to the team… who, apparently knew about us anyway. I knew I didn't want to uproot my life and move down to Louisiana and I assumed he wouldn't want to come to Washington. I figured… why ruin what we have for something we're not ready for."
Riley was staring at the fast pace traffic whizzing by on the road, passing the precinct without a second thought. She doubted anyone in those cars were going through the same predicament as she. Her finger was nervously tracing the stitches of her jeans as she listened. "And, to be honest… I never thought about what kind of mother I'd be. I didn't even know if I'd want kids someday… especially since my sister died. I saw how much pain my parents were in over losing a child, to her own hand no less, I wasn't sure I could handle loving someone that much and then having it ripped away. Then suddenly it was upon me. I had no idea what to do and I was terrified I was going to lose the man I love… he had no obligation to me, he could just leave me and I knew that would kill me. That's when I realized… there is a simple solution. Nothing would change and Will would never know."
The words had an effect on her, though she wouldn't show it. "So how did you decide?"
"I thought about how I felt. At that point and that time." JJ answered. "I had a life growing inside me, just like you do now… in less than a year, it would be a living baby… my baby… and it would become a full grown person, I couldn't just throw that away… not without discussing it with the man who made it happen."
"So… you think I should talk to Spencer?" Riley asked, looking up with tear filled eyes.
"Will's reaction… it was nothing I ever could have imagined." She smiled joyfully, remembering. "Without it, I'm not sure I could have made the right decision."
She'd been putting this off long enough, yet still JJ was having trouble picking up that phone. It wasn't too late. He never had to know. JJ could make an appointment and could be done with it in a few weeks time. She'd have to confide in someone about it, she knew a third party would be required to take her home after the procedure… perhaps she'd ask Reid. He was rational, he'd understand why she needed to do this.
Still, though, she couldn't shake the reality. Her body had become home to a growing fetus, one that would grow into a living, breathing person… who knew what this person was meant for? Would it be a handsome little boy? Maybe one with her golden hair and Will's beautiful smile, the one that had hypnotized her on those streets of New Orleans. Or maybe a little girl, with her father's glowing brown eyes and her mother's sense of humor. Would it be a soccer star or a book worm, would it grow up to be a doctor or an artist? This life was filled with so many possibilities, ones that could someday change the whole world.
It didn't matter, though, because no matter what decision JJ made, these questions would be with her for the rest of her life. She couldn't make this decision on her own. She needed Will… the love of her life, who was more her friend than anyone she'd ever known… she couldn't do this without him.
Finally, she picked up the phone. Listening through the rings, she braced herself. She was just going to come out and say it. No pointing making a big speech or beating around the bush.
"Hello?" That familiar sensual Louisiana drawl answered on the other end.
It didn't fill her with the same anticipation this time, though. "Hey," JJ said, and before he could say another word, she blurted it out. "I'm pregnant."
"Wh…" Will was completely thrown off guard. "What?"
She let out a deep breath. "I'm pregnant," She said again. "I found out the other day… I think we need to talk about this."
"You're… you're not… kidding?" He stammered, and she could hear him breathing hard, completely thrown off guard by this.
"I'm not kidding," She promised. "I'm due in November."
There was nothing but silence. JJ began to fear her boyfriend had hung up. The fear was bubbling in her throat and JJ wanted to beg him to just discuss this with her, don't run away. She loved him, she wanted to work this out with him.
"Oh my God!" He screamed on the other end. "I… I can't believe this! I'm going to be a father! I'm going to be a daddy!"
JJ was shocked. She'd been living in fear for the last week, mostly over what he'd say… was he actually screaming with joy?
"We're going to have baby!" He screamed, "I… I'm stunned, I never expected this… I mean… this is wonderful! This is the best news I ever heard!"
Tears were starting to take over now and she covered her eyes to stop them from running down her face. She never expected this. She assumed the best case scenario would be Will would be calm and want to talk it over this weekend about what they should do, if they would share custody or if they should just terminate to save themselves a lot of stress… this reaction never crossed her mind.
"JJ?" Will must have asked her a question. "JJ… are you still there?"
"Yeah," She stammered an answered, sitting up to get a grip on herself. "I… I didn't think you'd be so happy."
"Are you kidding! I know we didn't plan it, but I am so… so happy!" He exclaimed, and JJ swore he was crying over this. His happiness faded and suddenly he sounded worried. "JJ… you do… want the baby, don't you?"
With a small smile, she nodded, though he couldn't see. "Yes… I do… I never wanted anything so much in my life."
"I'll put in a request Monday morning to be transferred to DCPD." Will said at once, "I have a friend in the transfer's department, it'll go through pretty quickly, I probably could be up there by July. Until then, I can come up on the weekends to help you house hunt, my dad left me a good bit of money, we can get a real nice place."
"You…" She shook her head, not sure if she'd heard him right. "Wait… you're just… going to uproot your life and move here?"
"Well… yeah," He answered. "I can be a detective anywhere, you're primarily based in the capitol, unless you were planning to quit, then we could talk about what city we want to live in."
"No, I… I'm not going to quit." She took a deep breath. "Wait, Will… we're moving just a little too fast here, we can make all these plans when I fly down this weekend."
"Are you okay, Jay?" He asked, concern in his voice.
She really was okay. The truth finally sunk in and JJ could deny her joy no longer. She was going to be a mother; she and the man she loved were going to be a family. "Yeah…" She nodded, tears claiming her again. "We're going to have a baby."
"See… I really didn't know what I wanted until Will helped me see the truth." JJ said as she finished her story. "You're scared and alone right now, that's understandable. Spence is the man you love, your life partner… sometimes you can't focus on the reality of this until you talk it over with him. It is his baby, too; sometimes talking it with your husband helps you see perspective."
Letting out a sigh, Riley shook her head. "I appreciate the advice, but… you didn't go through what I went through growing up. Children become their parents… if I have this baby… and I become that… if I put my child through that torture… I'll want to kill myself."
"You don't have to turn out like that, though!" JJ exclaimed. "You are your own person, you could stop it before it ever happens. I may not know your mother, but I know you… you're loving and caring and kind… you're a nurturer, I've seen you care for Spencer when he's in the hospital, when he's sick, when he's upset, it just comes naturally to you. I don't see any scenario but you as a loving, devoted mother and that baby adoring you, just like my boys do me."
"Well… thank you for the vote of confidence." Riley said bitterly as she folded her arms. The more they discussed this, the more she was digging her heels in, becoming more and more determined to stop the disaster before it occurred. "But the more I think about this, the less I trust myself to take the chance… and I do not want to talk about this anymore. I have to go to the Ladies' Room."
With that, she turned and hurried out of the break room. JJ suspected she just wanted to escape for a few minutes and so let the subject go for the time being. She wanted her to see reason, but knew if she kept poking at the subject, the more determined Riley would be in her decision. She was losing hope that any of them were going to able to reach her… after all, who among them had even been in such a position?
Morgan didn't say much on the drive. He had been trying to avoid Emily, not wanting to yell at her again. He was very confused and it wasn't her fault. All she was doing was caring about him, as any half decent girlfriend would do. That's what made Morgan feel so angry.
He knew Reid's advice had a lot of truth to it. Saying "I love you" did mean everything. He did feel love for Emily. A love stronger and purer than for any woman he'd known before. He wanted to be with her forever. He wanted to marry her, he wanted to hold her at night, watch her rock their babies to sleep. He was deeply in love with her… but he knew himself and he knew how he ran from commitment. If he said it to her, what if suddenly his twisted mind looked for any reason to get out? He'd hate himself if he hurt her… and he couldn't live without her.
Emily was staring out the window, trying to ignore him. This was all two familiar, both of them sitting here, angry with each other because they wanted the other so desperately.
"You're not going to talk to me?" Morgan asked casually, taking a glance at her.
"I would," She grumbled, "but I figured you'd twist that around and make me feel like a jerk for just trying to look out for you."
"Prentiss… I'm sorry. I don't feel well, I haven't felt well in weeks and I don't know why, it's pissing me off. I took it out on you and I apologize for that." It was amazing how easily he could lie. He hated to do that to her, but he couldn't admit the truth. A white lie hurt much less than the cold truth.
To his relief, her attitude softened. She looked over, a gentle smile on her flawlessly beautiful face, her anger thawing away. "Maybe I'm too overprotective. It's just… I kind of like you, Morgan… I don't want you to be sick. How are my needs going to be met if you die?"
He couldn't help but laugh. "I just don't want to make a big deal out of it, that's all. I wonder if Riley's starting to get the stomach pain yet. It makes me feel a little better somebody else has this."
"Oh…" Emily murmured, looking away. "Yeah… I wouldn't bet on that."
"What do you mean?" Morgan wondered as he slowed at a stoplight. They waited at the intersection for the flash of green to give them the all clear. The streets were busy with other cares and dozens of people roaming the streets, none of them taking notice of the couple in the car.
Emily knew she probably shouldn't say anything. Riley would be furious if news got to Reid, especially before she decided what to do… but Morgan was her best friend, and she told him just about everything, long before he was her boyfriend.
"You have to promise you won't tell anyone. And I mean anyone." Emily muttered, angling herself to see him better.
He gave a shrug, "I won't tell."
"Especially Reid," She specified.
"I swear, I won't tell Reid. I won't tell another soul." Morgan assured. "So what's up?"
After a moment's hesitation, she answered. "Riley's pregnant."
His jaw dropped in shock, completely forgetting to drive forward as the light changed. "Oh my God… you're joking."
"Nope," She shook her head. "That's where I had to go when I left Bundle's interview… Garcia bought her a test and we were there for emotional support. It was there in black and white, she's expecting."
"Oh my God…" He muttered again, unable to stop from grinning this time. In his eyes was an obvious glow of big brother pride, thinking of Reid. "Way to go, kid." He mumbled.
The honk of a horn behind them sounded and Morgan came back to reality. He drove through the intersection, heading towards the Hillman's neighborhood.
"Yeah, but… It's not exactly good news in Riley's mind." Emily admitted sadly. "She's convinced she's going to be some mentally abusive nutcase like her mother, she's worried she's going to ruin her child's life and, more importantly, Reid's."
"Isn't that why she moved to Seattle all those years ago?" Morgan wondered. "At least, that's what Reid told me when they got back together."
"Exactly, you'd think after all these years, she'd get over herself and stop being so afraid. I think by now, she's confident that Reid will never leave her, she should realize this baby is a good thing." Emily shook her head. "When she takes time to consider it… she may learn that she really wants this baby."
"I'm sure she'll come around." Morgan said, "Reid's got a certain way with her, I'm sure once they talk about it, she'll realize she's overreacting."
"Or just over thinking," Emily mumbled. "That must be a girl thing. I have a lot of trouble with that, too, I think. Otherwise, I wouldn't care so much." She cleared her throat nervously.
"Prentiss…" He began.
"No, I was intruding where I wasn't needed. I promise, I won't obsess over you so much anymore. If you need me, you'll come to me. The rest of the time, I'll back off."
At that, Morgan reached over to take her hand. It was warm in his grasp, soft like the petals of a rose. He loved these hands, feeling them caress every inch of his body, feeling so love by her simple touch. He gave it a loving squeeze and pulled it to his lips, placing a affectionate kiss on the back of it.
Holding it against his heart, he met her smiling face. "Don't you dare back off, Emily. I was being a jackass to a woman who genuinely worries about my health. I love that you care so much about me. You just keep thinking the way you think."
She smiled brightly with sparkling brown eyes and squeezed his hand in return. It wasn't the exact words, but at least it was a step in the right direction. Maybe soon, he wouldn't be so afraid to tell her he loved her.
He never let go of her hand, letting it fall in his lap as he casually drove. Morgan thought of the wonderful news he just heard. He had to admit, perhaps it was chauvinistic, but he couldn't have been prouder of his boy. He was going to make a great father… but the longer he thought of it, the less he thought of his friends and the more he thought of himself. He felt tense and bothered by this news. If Riley was pregnant… what the hell was wrong with him?
JJ caught up with Riley as she came out of the restroom, saying they ought to get on meeting with the family. It was understood the subject was dropped for now and both secretly thought it was a good thing. Riley was obsessing over this pregnancy, if she stepped away and thought about something else for awhile, she might see it differently, perhaps have a new revelation of the whole thing. It was worth a shot.
They returned to the main room of the precinct, heading to get something to drink in the break room while discussing how to question the family. They were defensive people and wouldn't open up easily, on any subject. They would be looking for any reason to tear the girls down, they had to go in prepared. At least there was strength in numbers.
Stepping into the break room, however, they were surprised to see Alexa sitting at the table with her daughters. The girls were eating slowly and it seemed Penny was holding most of the conversation, talking and laughing while she smashed her peanut butter and jelly sandwich with her sticky fingers.
"Mrs. Hillman," JJ said as they stepped in. "Is everything alright?"
Nervously, Alexa got to her feet. "Yes, uh… my daughters were hungry. I don't have much money until I get paid next week, so I… I made them some peanut butter sandwiches, I hope that's okay."
"It's fine," JJ assured. Bread and jelly and peanut butter was cheap; it wouldn't bother anyone if this woman took a little to feed her family. In fact, neither she nor Riley could help but feel sorry for her, knowing it was a difficult life to live from paycheck to paycheck.
Riley looked to the girls with interest. Meredith took no notice of anyone, hunched over her food, having no interest for what was left in her hands. Penny, however, was watching them curiously, her fingers still squishing the food on her plate, turning it into an unidentifiable mess.
"You look like you're having fun." Riley said with a light smile.
"I ruined my samwich." She said, looking at her messy hands. "Mommy, can I have another one?"
She let out a sigh, reluctant to take more food that didn't belong to her. Riley immediately stepped in, saying gently. "You know, I think I'm going to make myself one, I'll make one for her if you'd like."
Alexa was genuinely touched by her kindness, knowing this woman had every right to hate her. "Thank you," She answered softly.
"Meredith, would you like another one?" She asked.
The teenager was startled a bit, looking up as if amazed someone noticed her. She eyed Riley cautiously before shaking her head. "No, thank you."
At that, she went to the counter to fix the food while Alexa reclaimed her seat. "You're to eat this one, little girl, not treat it like it's Playdough."
"I will, Mommy," Penny promised, licking the peanut goo off her fingers.
"Are the others still here?" JJ asked as she took the empty seat beside her.
"They're still in the lounge." She explained. "I tried to tell them they can go home, but… I guess they don't have anything better to do."
"We would prefer they stick around, we may still want to speak to them if new evidence comes up." JJ hesitated, considering Rossi's theory from earlier. "I'm sure they're just here because they're worried about Peter."
Alexa couldn't look at any of them, her focus drain to the grain of the veneer wooden tabletop. "I doubt it." She mumbled.
"Why do you say that?" JJ questioned. "It seems odd members of a family as close as yours wouldn't be upset when one disappears… unless they know the reason for a disappearance."
She wasn't stupid, she knew what JJ was hinting at. "My family didn't have anything to do with this. They were all very upset when Peter was taken. John was a wreck, he and Jeremy drove around at all hours of the night for weeks, searching for a trace of him. My sister-in-law was very supportive, looking after the kids while we were helping the police. They do care, it's just… my in-laws don't have children and John is very old fashioned… kids should be seen and not heard most of the time, until they're wanted, it's the mother's job to look after them… I know them. They miss him, they're hurting inside… they're just trying to get back to the way things were."
Riley returned to the table with two paper plates. She handed one to Penny, "Here you go, Sweetie." She said kindly.
Penny took it greedily, getting a stern look from her mother. "What do you say to Dr. Reid?"
"Thank you," She looked before devouring a bite.
"You're welcome," Was her response as she sat done beside JJ.
There was a long pause as Alexa watched her two remaining children and took a deep breath. "I know they just want to get back to normal… but I don't think anything's going to be normal again. I love my daughters more than anything, but… for the rest of my life, any time I look at my children, I'll always remember the one that's not here."
Riley was pulling apart her sandwich. She was hungry and thought peanut butter and jelly sounded good a moment ago… but it wasn't very appetizing now. "It's possible they're still in the denial stage of grief, Mrs. Hillman." She said carefully. "They've gotten past the shock of losing Peter, but there's been no burial, no funeral, nothing that signifies a typical end of life ritual. Those burial traditions are our way of letting go of loved ones, without them, their psyches are just not ready to accept Peter's gone."
Letting out a light scoff, "I understand that, because until we find him, I can't fully accept he's gone… I don't think it's so much denial for them as just attempting to get on with their lives. As you may have guessed… they're not too pleased I went to DC for help."
"You did what you had to do to find your child, there's no shame in that." JJ assured. "We've seen people go to much more dangerous lengths, believe me, what you did is completely normal. And… I think… it took a lot of courage to let go of your pride and come to an old rival for help."
"I would have gotten on my knees and begged Spencer if he hadn't wanted to come." She answered, letting out a long sigh. "With the work I do, I learned a long time ago to let go of my dignity."
Riley was curious. "What do you do?"
"Uh… well…" She seemed reluctant to say, especially in front of her children. "I'm a waitress… at a gentleman only club in the city. It's not like a strip club or anything, just a kind of country club for men… in a sense."
"Where the waitresses wear really short black skirts and the more you flirt, the better tips you make?" Riley wondered.
Alexa swallowed nervously. "Yeah… it's good money."
"Yeah, I know, I worked at a place like that in Boston when I was in school." She explained with a partial smile. "I didn't get any kind of scholarship and student loans only go so far, especially at Harvard. And you're right, those places pay pretty well and you can get a lot of tips, but they are not high on a woman's dignity."
"I never knew that." JJ smirked as she turned to her. "Does Reid know you worked there?"
"Yes, he knows, and it's not a big deal. It's not like I was pole dancing." Riley exclaimed.
"Exactly!" Alexa cried. "I realize it's not the most prestigious place to work, but people do tend to look down on you when you work in a place like that."
"I know," Riley agreed. "People were a little more understanding since I was a college student, but my roommate was this prissy little thing with about three trust funds. She made snide comments every chance she got."
Alexa chuckled, completely able to relate. "You should hear what my sister-in-law says to me. And John's even worse. I'd never say this to him because he'd just get… mad… but I don't think he has any right to judge, at least I have a job. I'm the one bringing in the money and keeping us off of Welfare. He acts like I'm dishonoring the family name just because I tell some fat cat banker he looks awfully good in his new suit."
The two girls laughed again along with JJ. As lighthearted as their conversation was, Riley couldn't help but feel guilty. Alexa wasn't anything she expected. She was kind and friendly and, as much as she wanted to, there wasn't a bit of malice about her. Had she not heard of this woman before, Riley would never suspect who she was two decades ago. She hated to admit it, but Riley couldn't help but like her. Hopefully, Spencer would never find out.
"There you are!" Harper exclaimed, hurrying into the break room. "We were wondering what the hell happened to you." She stopped abruptly, seeing Alexa in mid conversation with the two strangers. "Why wasn't I invited to the party?" She asked sullenly.
"It's not a party, we're just talking." Alexa grumbled. "Did you need me for something?"
"John wanted to know where you are. I told him he should just fit you with that tracking device already, save me an awful lot of time." She thought her joke was funny and laughed a little too hard. She spotted there were no open seats at the table, but wouldn't be denied being left out of the group.
Practically shoving Alexa over, she moved to share the seat with her friend. "So, does this constitute for a coffee break in the FBI or are you girls just slacking off?"
"This is part of our job, actually." JJ explained. "We speak with the family members and we learn more about our victims. It helps create a profile."
"Oh, okay," Harper laughed, her giggles loud and shrill, "Lexi can tell you how using Snuggle fabric softner keeps the delicate balance of our family together. That should tell you that Peter's murderer was Jeffery Dahmer's little brother."
Alexa squeezed her eyes shut, as if those words caused her physical pain. Penny suddenly looked up from the artistic masterpiece that was her second sandwich. She was smart as a whip for a girl her age, thirsty for knowledge at every turn.
"Mommy, what's a mur-der-er?" She wondered.
Furious, Alexa sat up and gave a furious expression to her sister-in-law. "Thank you, Harper. Are there any other choice words you'd like to teach my six-year-old?"
Before Penny could ask again and get upset about being ignored, Meredith looked up. "It's a fancy word for a certain kind of monster, kiddo. That's all." Impressive how she could sugar coat the truth without having to lie.
"Then why is Mommy so upset?" She asked, looking to her mother in worry.
Not even realizing it, Riley's instincts kicked in. She reached over to put her hand on Penny's tiny one, not even bothered by the stickiness. "You're mommy just misses your brother so much, Sweetheart, that's all."
"Oh," She replied, squishing her free hand into her food. "He'll be home real soon, Mama, don't worry."
That made Alexa want to cry more, her eyes looking to the ceiling for the strength to keep from breaking down.
Harper gave her a hard nudge, saying in a harsh whisper, "Just tell her the truth, it's going to be harder later."
Riley, however, knew a better approach to handle this. "How do you know he's coming back soon, Penny?"
Without much thought, she answered in a dreamy voice. "I just know…"
"This is ridiculous; she can't just think good things are always going to happen. She needs to know the truth." Harper griped.
Alexa turned and hissed at her, "Maybe she does, but I am not having that conversation with her right now."
"Fine, Chicken, I'll tell her!" She said, mocking Alexa in a raspy voice. Turning to the little girl, she opened her mouth. "Penny, the thing is-"
"The thing is Peter is very lucky to have two sisters who miss him so much." Riley interrupted, glaring at the woman with the long raven hair, shining against her pale skin, giving the impression she was some kind of evil stepmother from fairy tales. "And a whole family of people who wouldn't dare scar a young soul for life by blurting out a hard truth without any kind of compassion."
Harper's eyes turned to slits, matching Riley's narrow gaze. She backed off, though, folding her arms out of frustration. She didn't say another word.
Riley gave Penny's hand one more squeeze before pulling away, quickly grabbing a napkin to wipe off her hand. She sensed someone was staring at her and turned to see JJ's somewhat smug expression.
"What?" Riley whispered, barely audible. "I'm a psychiatrist; I know how to connect with people. Of all ages."
"Yeah," She mumbled with a nod. "That must be it."
It seemed their pleasant conversation had come to a shattered end. Meredith had completely given up on her food, pushing the plate away to return to her dog-eared book. Penny continued her sculpting of the jelly and peanut butter, making a great mess in the process. The four grown women, however, sat in awkward silence, wondering what to do or say next.
Reid walked in then. He spotted the scene was instantly bothered. "Hey…" He mumbled slowly, grabbing everyone's attention. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"No, perfect timing." Riley said as she stood out of her chair to greet him. "We were just talking to Alexa a bit, how are things on your end?"
"Fine," He said vaguely, though she could tell it wasn't going anywhere at all. "So you were… just talking with her?"
She could hear the sense of betrayal in his voice. "Yes," She answered. "You know, like Hotch asked us to."
"Spencer," Alexa said warily as she, too, got to her feet. "I didn't get a chance to say hello to you this morning. Are taking a break?"
"It would appear," He stated, his tone sharp and cold. His eyes turned to Riley. "I'm just grabbing some coffee, I need to keep my energy up."
Riley went to respond, but Alexa beat her to it. "Would you like to take your break in here? We'd love to sit down and talk for a few minutes… catch up a little."
He wanted to lash out at her, tell her to shut up and return to sludge she and her friends had climbed out of. His only restraint was he wouldn't act like that in front of her children, the two girls he had already grown rather fond of. They were both sweet, unique girls who had a lot of love and care in their hearts. Not in the least like their mother, as he had noted.
He placed a kiss on Riley's forehead and, without a word or even an acknowledging look in Alexa's direction, he went to the coffee pot, grabbing a mug and searching for the sugar.
"I'm beginning to think you girls are trying to ditch us!" Jeremy Bundle exclaimed as he stepped into the quickly overcrowding room. A step behind was a very sullen John Hillman, eyeing his wife suspiciously. The Bundles may be taking this lightly, but neither John nor Alexa were letting their guard down about this for the most part.
"I tracked her down for you," Harper teased standing up to greet her husband, pulling him into a much too inappropriate kiss for the time and place. Reid spotted this as he glanced over his shoulder, quickly looking away before he lost what was left in his stomach.
Jeremy took Alexa's former seat, pulling Harper to sit in his lap. Riley observed, noticing how much the two looked like her and Spencer… only there was a difference. These two seemed to act like stupid teenagers trying to get as close as possible while any indecent exposure. When Riley sat on Spencer's lap, it wasn't the same. They were two people in love and so connected to each other, they were comfortable enough to be that close. Amazing what little details could say about who a person – or in this case, two people – were.
"Where have you been?" John said, pushing past both JJ and Riley to get to his wife. "You left over a half hour ago, how long does it take to feed them?"
She didn't like him referring to their children like that, as if they were two dogs needing their dinner. "What's the rush, it's not like we have anywhere to be."
"She has a point." Harper muttered. "We are stuck in this purgatory for awhile, aren't we?"
"Good waste of a Saturday," Jeremy added. His eyes had been on Reid for awhile, who was slowly stirring a spoon in his drink. "Does it take you five minutes to fix a cup of coffee or are you just eavesdropping?"
His temper was getting harder to control. "I would eavesdrop if there was anything worth listening to." Reid said as he turned around, his eyes so chilling, Riley was sure he could literally pierce someone with his stare. He moved to his wife. "I probably should get back to work. How are you feeling?"
Despite her lack of appetite, she wasn't feeling nearly as sick as a few hours ago. "Not too bad, I haven't been nauseous in awhile."
"Are you sure?" He questioned, unconvinced. "You still look awfully sick, or are you just worried about something."
"Well, I'm not," She said, backing away a bit, so afraid she was going to let the truth slip out. "I just… I have a headache, that's all."
"Probably because you haven't had coffee in three days." Reid teased, not even noticing his four hated enemies were staring at him. He barely noticed anything when she was in the room. "If you're feeling better, you should have a cup."
"Uh…" Riley's eyes landed on the coffee pot. She breathed in the smell and realized it, in fact, did not make her sick today. Suddenly, she found herself longing for a huge mug of it, fixed with just the right amount of cream and sugar, so strong, it could melt through steel. She wanted it and that was the truth.
Something wouldn't let her have it, though. Riley eyed the pot of black liquid, beckoning her with silent cries to come and have a mug of that delicious drug she hadn't experienced since Thursday morning… but it was like some kind of force was keeping her back, telling her she couldn't couldn't have it, no matter how badly she may want a hot, steamy cup. Things were different now.
"No… I don't want any." She answered, forcing a smile.
That was strange. "You don't want any coffee?" Reid asked, stunned and amazed. "Who are you and what have you done with my wife?"
It came out as a joke, but Riley's nerves were frayed and split and teetering on the edge. His little comment pushed her over. "Excuse me? Spencer, I do have a mind of my own! I don't want any coffee, I don't need any caffeine, okay? So just… stop being so demanding and acting like you know everything! Just drop it!"
And with that, she once again ran from her problem, hurrying away from the crowd. Reid was shocked, watching her in awe as she rushed away. Something was definitely bothering her.
Bewildered, he looked to JJ who immediately avoided his eyes. That was a tell. Whatever was going on, JJ knew, too, and she was keeping it from him. Unable to help himself, he looked at the reactions of the crowd.
The only understanding expression was Alexa, who seemed willing to offer him support and empathy. The Bundles were stifling their laughter a bit, not having the courage to look at him. Lastly, he looked up to see John's eyes, almost glowing with glee.
"Trouble in paradise?" He asked, a smirk spreading across his face.
"Looks like Little Mr. Know-it-All even gets on the nerves of Little Mrs. Know-it-All." Harper giggled.
"Can you just imagine how messed up their sex life must be?" Jeremy laughed loudly, caring not for anything but his own amusement. "I'd pay to see that."
To finish off, Harper added. "It wouldn't be worth it. Something tells me there wouldn't be much to see."
Reid felt his face turning red. He wanted to retaliate, but he couldn't say a word. He felt like a little boy again with no ability to speak up for himself. His eyes on the floor, he took his coffee and rushed off, their cruel laughter following him out of the room, knowing they had won.
Their giggles burned JJ's ears and she ran to stop him. "Spence," She soothed, putting a hand on his arm.
He shrugged her off, continuing on his way back to work. He needed to be alone.
Anger boiled in her like she'd never felt before. JJ turned and headed back to the break room. Those people were not going to get away with this.
"You know," She said, loud enough for anyone in the main room of the precinct to hear. In fact, many officers stopped to listen. "I almost feel sorry for all of you. It must be incredibly painful to live with a life so boring, you need to dig up twenty year old history to bully a grown man in order to feel good about yourselves. Then again, perhaps I should have sympathy for you seeing as how you peaked in high school. It must be unbelieving frustrating to see everyone around you moving on and shining in the world when you're the same pathetic losers you always were."
There was a chilling silence through most of the room, and it was almost as satisfying as applause. John and the Bundles gaped at her a moment, never expecting to be told off like that. Apparently, no one had ever done that before.
"How dare you speak to us like that?" Harper asked.
"Uh," Alexa spoke up, and JJ noticed she was the one hiding her laughter now. "I'd better get my daughters cleaned up, can you tell me where the restroom is, Agent Jareau?"
She knew Alexa had said that in order to get her out of the line of fire. "Allow me to show you." She said, never showing fear by tearing her eyes away. Alexa hurried over to help Penny out of her chair, tossing her indiscernible replicas of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the trash. Meredith, not wanting to be left behind with these people, tossed her garbage and grabbed her book and followed her mother out of the room.
"Oh," JJ said, turning around. "And for your information, Mrs. Bundle, Jeffery Dahmer's little brother David leads a normal life and has never committed any crime. Just another reminder you shouldn't judge someone without getting to know them."
And with that, she stepped confidently and casually out of the room, rather satisfied with herself. The only thing that could have made it better were if Reid had been there to see it, to know his friends always had his back.