The corridor was empty as JJ led Alexa and her daughters to the Ladies' Room. "Thanks for that back there, the last thing I needed was to get into some heated argument, say something rude and get reported to my boss."
"He'd understand, wouldn't he?" Alexa asked. "From what I can tell, he really looks out for his team."
"Yes, but it's still protocol to report a person when a complaint is made." JJ explained. "Agent Hotchner takes his job very seriously, he tries to toe the line as much as possible so when the time comes and we have to break the rules… we might get a bit of leeway.
Alexa was struggling to lead her youngest down the hall, holding her by her wrists to keep her sticky fingers from smudging the walls. Meredith was five steps behind, as if to pretend she wasn't welcomed in the group. They stepped slowly, taking twice the normal time to get there. It gave them time to talk.
"I'm certainly glad you said something to them." She uttered. "They're intimidating people and they know it. They use it to hurt people who make them feel inferior. It's nice to see someone put them in their place for a change."
"I couldn't let them get away with that." JJ said with a fierce scowl. "They had no right to say that to him. It's understandable for a person to retort to a former personality when interacting with people from the past. He could have told them off if he wanted to, believe me, he's a lot stronger and braver than he first appears."
Just shy of the swinging doors, Alexa stopped, giving JJ a significant expression. "It sounds like you really care about him."
Stepping over, she held the restroom door open to allow the three to enter. Safe inside, she followed suit. Her voice echoing much louder in this much too bright room. "I do. I've known Spence for a very long time, he's one of my best friends. You say he's changed a lot in twenty years… well, I think a lot of that change took place in the last nine."
Alexa turned on the water in one sink, putting her hand under to test the temperature. "How so?"
"Spence hadn't been working here much longer than me," She said, "When I first met him… he was very timid. He was so deep in his shell, no one would guess there was something more in there. Except me… I saw this kid who spoke so fast and knew so much, yet had so little… I don't know, I guess I felt like it was my place to look after him. He doesn't particularly need me anymore, but he's a great man and a wonderful friend."
As she spoke, she watched Alexa finish adjusting the water, satisfied with the heat. Then, she reached down to lift her daughter up enough to access the sink. She squirted some fresh scented soap into her tiny hands and watched the little girl develop a lather.
"Who says men and women can't be friends?" She said, glancing at her.
"Exactly," JJ said with a light laugh.
A rip sounded from the roll of paper towels and Meredith quickly dried her hands. "I'm done, can I go?"
"Where are you going to go?" Alexa wondered, struggling to keep up the weight of the child, dousing her hands in so many bubbles, they were creeping up her arm.
"I don't know, just somewhere quiet, everyone's driving me crazy!" She cried, obviously flustered. "I'm tired of babysitting and I can't read one sentence with Aunt Harper, she has to keep bugging me! Every five seconds, her shrill voice has another derogatory remark. If you make me sit near her again today, I just might kill her, Mother!"
"Sweetie, I don't want you wandering off in the police station." Alexa urged. "I've already lost one baby, I don't need another."
"Yes, what a shame that would be." Meredith mumbled resentfully, folding her arms.
"You know, Meredith," JJ interrupted, looking quizzically. "If you want someplace quiet to read, why don't you ask Dr. Reid if you can sit in the conference room. He won't bother you, just tell him Agent Jareau suggested it."
She seemed rather pleased by that, trying to hide her smile. "Okay… I'll ask him." Without any objection, she headed out of the bathroom, an extra spring in her step.
"Are you sure Spencer won't mind?" Alexa nervously asked. "I'd hate to be more of a burden to him."
"Nonsense, he loves kids." JJ noted. "And, from what I heard, he enjoyed speaking to your daughters."
"I told you he was nice, Mama." Penny said, still playing with the suds.
"Alright, Bubbles, rinse your hands." She laughed, shaking her head. She adjusted Penny again, keeping her in reach of the water before turning back to JJ. "Maybe I can tell Meredith my feelings to pass it on to him, it might be the only way he'll listen to me."
JJ shook her head. "No, trust me, that's a bad idea. It would hurt him, as if to say you feel he's not worth your time. If you're interested in talking to him… you just have to keep pressing until he breaks down. He might yell, he might say some very hurtful things, but once you conquer that barrier… it's very easy to get through to him."
Penny, clean and rinsed, was set back on the ground. They walked over to the paper towels, helping her pull down an obsessive amount to dry her tiny hands.
"You're the second person who says I need to talk to him." Alexa said, leaning against the wall. "What if he won't listen to me?"
"Just keep talking. He's in a lot of pain which he manifests into anger. That can make him intimidating… but you just have to keep talking. Eventually… he will talk back. And before even he realizes it, you'll be in a civil conversation."
She knew Agent Jareau's advice was good, but there was the long bridge between Spencer and Alexa was not only burned, it was still smoldering. Still, though, she wouldn't know if they could repair any damage until she tried.
Riley was alone, in more ways than one. She stood outside on the steps to the entrance. Her hands were shaking as she dug through her purse, searching… searching… there they were. Her only salvation.
Quickly, she pulled out her secret pack of cigarettes, the ones Spencer turned a blind eye to. He would always lecture her if he saw her smoking and it always broke her heart so much, knowing she should be making more of an effort to have a long, healthy life with him. She made it a point only to smoke when she really needed it, and never in front of him.
She really needed it now. Pulling out a long stick, she fitted it between her pink, moistened lips. The signature smell of the tobacco met her nose. She searched again for her lighter, at last finding it at the very bottom. Expertly flicking on the flame, she raised the lighter to join the cigarette, stopping just short of the opened end.
Just as she had a few minutes ago, Riley was frozen. As if time itself had stopped to keep the woman from making such a horrible and selfish decision. The flame sat there, mocking her, telling her how badly she needed this. She was stressed, she was upset, she wouldn't be able to think things through if she didn't calm down. She longed to feel that soothing flow of nicotine in her lungs, blossoming in every muscle in her body… especially when it was mixed with caffeine.
Once again, she couldn't let herself do it. It didn't matter how she was feeling about this situation, she couldn't let herself smoke. Not right now anyway, and there was nothing that would change her mind. Turning off the lighter, she tossed it back into her purse, removing the smoke from her mouth. Her fingers handled it a moment, sighing with disappointment before snapping it in half and tossing it aside. Leaning on her knees, she covered her face with her hands. Riley would have to concentrate with a sober head.
She couldn't believe what she'd said to Spencer. It had just come out and she hated herself so much for it. If they had been alone, she would have apologized immediately, perhaps even come clean to him. Her mouth tended to run amok when she was upset as well as when she was trying to hide something from him. Maybe he would realize that on his own and have some compassion when she groveled with apologies… or his already wounded self would be furious with her for abandoning him in his time of need. Well, that was what she deserved.
After all… she was thinking of terminating his child.
No matter what anyone was telling her… it was Spencer's child. She couldn't bring herself to say it was hers… that would make this something real and she might not be able to deny she wanted it.
It might be nice, though… a baby. She loved babies, even more than she thought after the video JJ showed her. For just a moment, she tried to picture it, what it would be like. A time in the near future; Spencer with an infant. He would love their baby more than anything. She could see the tiny thing nestled against his chest, asleep while Spencer rocked them both in a chair. Riley could see it very clearly… she just couldn't see herself in the picture.
"Hey," A voice in front of her called urgently.
Riley gasped, jumping a bit at the call. She hadn't even realized she'd been crying, tears coating her face as she looked up, the hot, desert sun burning her eyes. Riley noticed how warm she was, beginning to wish she hadn't worn this sweater today. At last adjusting to the light, she saw Hotch standing before her, returning from his assignment with Rossi.
"Are you alright?" He asked, grabbing her hand to pull her to her feet.
"Uh… no… no, I'm not…" She mumbled, shaking her aching head. She had no control over her emotions, crying uncontrollably. "Aaron…"
He let her fall into his arms, holding her against him as she wept on his shoulder. "What's wrong?" He asked, worried. "Did something happen?"
"No," She answered, her tears dripping into his well pressed suit. "I'm just… the worst wife in the world."
"No, you're not," He assured, patting her back warmly.
Rossi watched with great alarm. "What's going on? Is something wrong?"
Hotch looked over at Rossi, deciding it might not be a bad idea to enlighten him on the situation. He could use an alley to talk some sense into her. Leaning closer and lowering his voice, he said "Riley just found out she's pregnant."
His face lit up with delight, just as the girls had when they first considered the idea. "Oh my God, that's wonderful! Have you told Reid?"
"No," She moaned, pulling away from Hotch and wiping the streams from her eyes.
Rossi paused, hiding his laugh with a cough. "Uh… should you?"
She gave him a cold glare, not amused by his joke. As if it could be anyone's but her husband's. Hotch quickly stepped in, unwilling to let the already hysterical girl become even more upset. "Okay, what happened?"
Taking several deep breaths, Riley focused on her words coming out intelligibly, not jumbled together in her fit of frenzy. "I just… I yelled at Spencer for… absolutely nothing, all because I'm upset over this and I don't know what to do. And I did it right in front of his old classmates. I'm the worst wife ever. Ever."
"No, you're not!" Hotch insisted, brushing her arm. "It's understandable you're a little on edge right now, you just need to calm down. It's not good in your condition."
"Don't remind me about my… condition." She groaned.
"I don't understand, what are you so confused about?" Rossi wondered. "You just found out you're having a baby, the thinking through is pretty minimal at this point."
Before she could answer or, more likely, lose control again, Hotch answered. "Riley's a little unsure about this… she's not sure she wants the baby. And until she comes to a conclusion, she can't tell Reid."
Riley waited for the ridicule. The cry of shock, the protest that she not wanting the child is abnormal. Just because she was married to the man she loved did not make her want to become some breeding machine.
After a long pause, he replied, "Well, it is her decision. Reid may be her husband, but he doesn't technically get a say. If Riley chooses she doesn't want a baby, she doesn't have to have it."
In amazement, Riley turned to him. She couldn't believe she finally had someone on her side.
Before she could thank him for the support, he continued, speaking all too smoothly. "I mean, this is a real life changing decision for a woman. Why should she have to go through it if she doesn't want to? Why should she get fat and stretch out her body, have to go through all those hours of pain? And then it's at least 18 years of her life raising the thing and after that, it's never really out of her life. She might even get attached to it."
Her happiness immediately faded. She didn't take kindly to being manipulated. "Thanks for making fun of me. That's not why I'm struggling with this, Dave."
He looked at her with a tilt of his head and an amused smile. "Then why are you?"
It seemed too narcissistic to say she was protecting the baby and Spencer from herself and what she would become. All she could manage was answering, "It's more complicated than that."
"Then you need to talk to Reid." Hotch said. "He's your husband, you chose to spend your life with him. You and he are in this together… this might not seem so terrible once you see you're not alone."
She closed her eyes for a moment. "Fine… I'll tell him… that doesn't mean I know what I'm going to do, but I will tell him before I decide. After the case, when we get home… I'll sit him down and we'll… talk this out."
"Atta girl." Rossi noted, patting her on her shoulder. "It'll be okay, just like always."
"Yeah," She mumbled, leaning on Hotch again as he put his arm around her. "Is it sad I'd rather be chased in the woods by an unsub again than have to deal with this?"
"A little bit," Hotch told her while giving her a comforting squeeze. Riley felt a little stronger with Hotch's support, and now Rossi's… she could only hope Reid would be the same way. She needed that more than anything.
Nothing was making sense. Reid had returned to work after his emasculation in the break room. Diving right back into the case was the perfect way to clear his head, to use his brain powers and feel like himself again. Only things weren't going so well in here. He reviewed all the files of the missing boys, especially involving twins. He had a feeling they were on the right track about that. The logic of this case was simple. If Peter was the first real victim of an unsub, the killer hadn't struck again yet. Therefore, he wasn't considered a serial killer and, therefore, there was no way they could make a profile.
Reid, however, couldn't accept that. He knew there was a clue among these boys that could lead him to Peter's killer. It was staring him in the face and either he was too distraught to see it right now or it was too subtle for him to connect quickly.
He needed to think in a less conventional matter. Reid removed each picture from the boys file and moved to sit on the floor, Indian style. His eyes were intense and clouded as he let his mind do the work, making the connections in his minds eye. Garcia most likely could do the same thing for him, but it was just faster doing it this way..
"Uh…" A shy voice said from outside the area, breaking his concentration. "Dr. Reid?"
Reid looked up to see Meredith Hillman staring nervously at him, her book clutched in hand. "Meredith… is something wrong? Do you need something?"
"Uh… I uh, was looking for some place quiet to read." She explained. "Agent Jareau said I might be able to read in here… if I'm quiet…"
"Oh," He responded, and saw her breathe with ease as he gave her a smile. "That's perfectly fine. Sit anywhere you like."
She would have gone straight to the table and buried herself in the pages once again, but was much too intrigued by this set up, Reid sitting on the floor like her younger siblings would. Without any trepidation, Meredith stepped over to the mess of young boys' photos spread out beneath the man. "What are you doing?" She asked, sitting on the outside of the circle, mirroring him.
"These are boys are around your brother's age who have disappeared from a few days ago to a year." He explained. "Some of just single boys, others are twins and others are just from a set of twins. I'm trying to determine if any of these cases have some kind of connection to your brother's."
Meredith wasn't sure if she should disturb his mess. She reached for a picture of a young dark skinned boy, smiling happily, wearing a prestigious school uniform. He couldn't have been in any less than third grade. "It's so depressing… he looks so happy here… they all do. Their families had no idea he was going to disappear." She said, glancing at Reid. "I feel like that every time I look at a picture of Peter… it got to the point last week I went around the house and took down every photo that had him in it, I just couldn't look at them anymore knowing he's dead." Her eyes scanned the pile. "Are all these boys dead?"
Meredith was a very strong girl; Reid felt no reason to hide the truth from her. "Most likely. Kidnapped children are usually killed within the first 24 hours. Sometimes, it's a few days and we've even been lucky and found them after a week or two. A few years ago, we even found a group of gypsies responsible for kidnapping young girls. The mother of the family was kidnapped in the same way back in the seventies."
"Whoa," She said, amazed. "This stuff is… sick and twisted."
With a famous Reid half smile, he nodded, "Very twisted, and the sickest part is, a lot of this stuff I've gotten used to."
"Wow," She twitted. "I've got to say, though, this seems like an awful lot of effort just to find a body. I mean, my mom said you hunt down serial killers, shouldn't some cold case detectives work on this?"
Reid was impressed. "You know a lot about this stuff."
"I read." She mentioned.
He clarified his reason for being here. "I told you before, your mother asked me to come. She's at her wits end trying to find your brother… and your brother could be connected to other kidnappings, other murders. We could stop an unsub before he gets out of hand and a lot more lives are lost."
"You mean unknown subject?" She asked, fascinated.
"Yes," He answered with surprise. "You know what that means?"
"I read it in book series a few months ago, I thought it was something the author made up!" Meredith exclaimed. "It's really interesting all this stuff… minus the dead boys and killers, of course. So, what are doing with all this?"
"I'm looking for something." He explained, looking to the pictures, focused on the thousands of groupings he hadn't tried yet. "I'm hoping, by adjusting and creating different combinations of boys… I might be able to find a connection between certain kidnappings and your brother's."
Meredith was still holding the one picture, turning to look at the white back. There was nothing there. No writing, no date… just a blank space. Confused, she grabbed another picture, this time a little Asian boy with spiked up hair, no doubt an attempt to look cool on picture day. Just like the first one, the back of the photo was blank.
"Um…" She mentioned. "How do you know which boy is which?"
"Oh, I know," Reid said, very casually. He barely heard her, so focused on each face. He was starting to lose confidence. None of this was working.
"Yeah, but… you don't know their cases or… if they connect. It's just a bunch of pictures." She complained. "I don't understand how this will work, isn't this just… profiling?"
"Exactly, that's what I do." He said, looking up.
"No, I mean… you're judging them by their looks. It doesn't seem like enough." Meredith argued. "How do you know what case connects to which, if they connect at all! This seems like stupid guess work."
Reid announced with absolute certainty. "I have eidetic memory. I know every single detail of every single case. I know how each boy disappeared, if they were ever found, where they found, how long they were gone. I know their parents, their families, the last thing they did before they went missing. I can tell them apart just by looking at them."
A bit taken aback, Meredith gently set the photo back down. "What are you, some kind of… uber genius or something the FBI created?"
That was an interesting if not derogatory term. "I am a genius." He explained a bit cooly. "I have an IQ of 187, I read 20,000 words per minute… I graduated high school when I was 12."
She was instantly struck with an epiphany. "Oh… that's why Daddy and the others hate you so much."
"Yeah," He grumbled, looking back to his work. If she was just going to rip open these wounds, he would rather she just leave.
He pretended to be too focused on his work to talk to her, too afraid of what she would say or ask if he looked up. He couldn't say with certainty what Meredith was thinking and she'd most likely be offended if he insulted a member of her family, accidentally or not.
"I'm really sorry about what they said to you before." Meredith spoke softly, her voice dripping with sympathy. Well, that was better than ridicule.
"You've got nothing to be sorry for." He answered with a shake of his head. "But thank you."
"If it makes you feel any better, they talk to me like that all the time." She added. She spoke so easily about it, like it was completely normal. "They think they're so damn funny."
Reid was shocked. It was one thing to treat him like that when they were young, even now he could let it go. What did it really matter if they made fun of him? After this case, he'd never see them again if the odds were in his favor. But they were adults. Not only was Meredith just a little girl, but she was their family.
"That's despicable." Reid stated, appalled. "They're adults, Meredith, they're supposed to know better."
She shrugged. "I know I'm different… if it really bothered me, I'd make an effort to change."
"You shouldn't have to." Reid argued. "You're a wonderful, beautiful girl just by being who you are. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. The world would be a much better place if people were more like you. The only criticism I can say about you is you shouldn't let those people walk all over you."
She shrugged. "I guess not."
"Meredith," Reid sternly ordered. She wouldn't look at him and he reached over to grab her hand. It brought her gaze to his. "Meredith, promise me right now the next time they talk to you like that, you won't let them get away with it. You'll tell them you're a good, kind person, that you're perfect just the way you are and they have no right to make fun of you for that."
"You didn't stand up to them, either." She said bitterly. He had no right to lecture her.
He gently pulled his hand away. She was right, he should have. But then again, he hadn't seen them in twenty years. This had come so unexpectedly. Yesterday morning, he woke up with only the concern his wife was coming down with the flu and now he was hemoragging from all these reopened wounds. "You're right," He answered. "So you should learn from my mistake. You should know, it's not your fault they treat you like that. Your mother should be speaking up for you."
"Please, Dr. Reid, she can't even speak up for herself." Meredith muttered, rolling her eyes.
At that, Reid looked at her, stunned. "What do you mean?"
"They treat her worse than they do me and the twins." She confessed. "I don't understand why she keeps letting it happen. She doesn't know this, but… my room is right next to hers. I hear her cry herself to sleep every night she's alone… which is a lot. I suspect when my dad is there, she's just real quiet about it."
He never would have guessed. Alexa was so connected to them in high school. Now she was miserable? It didn't make any sense. Maybe he misjudged her… maybe she had changed.
Reid, always too stubborn to let a grudge go, wouldn't accept that right away. His eyes landed on the photographs again, not really looking at them at all.
That's when it happened. His mind, at last, fit the right pieces together, getting a real picture of this dark puzzle.
He could see it perfectly, it amazed him he couldn't find the answer before. "Oh my gosh," he whispered and quickly gathered every photo.
"What's wrong?" Meredith asked.
Reid put the pictures into a pile and started to sift through them. Most of them were useless, tossing them in Meredith's lap to be discarded. Specific ones popped out at him, which he lay on the carpet in a row, each boy looking right up at him.
"What are you doing?" She wondered. Meredith arranged each picture she received in a neat order.
Reid didn't answer, just kept separating the kids. At last, six separate boys sat in perfect line before the brilliant man, including the picture Meredith had held earlier and Peter Hillman.
"I can't believe I didn't see it sooner." He exclaimed. The profile was forming in his mind like a cake baking in the oven, and it appeared Peter was only the most recent victim in a line of poor little boys.
As he pulled himself to his feet, he held out a hand to help the young girl up. "Meredith, where are your parents?"
"I think they're still in the kitchen, why?" She wondered, nervous.
"I need you to do me a favor." He requested. "I need you to go find Agent Jareau and tell her the BAU team needs to gather in the conference room immediately."
"Sure," Meredith nodded. She looked at row of six, unable to see what he did. She handed the rest back to him before hurrying off. Just before she stepped out, she glanced over her shoulder, watching Dr. Reid as he cleared the table of files and papers. This man was something else.
A moment later, Reid hurried out of the room. It might be too soon to say this, and probably an hour ago he wouldn't even have cared to say until he was certain… but perhaps his opinion of Alexa was changing. He had to tell her immediately. False hope was better than none sometimes.
Stepping into the break room, Reid found the familiar foursome seated around the table. This was a bit too familiar of being back in high school, seeing them positioned around the one table everyone longed to be welcomed at. While he usually sat alone, feeling people throw food and empty cartons at him. After a few months, he wised up and started eating his lunch in the handicap stall in the Men's Room. He'd rather risk bacterial infection than endure being a sideshow spectacle.
Their conversation came to an immediate halt. Jeremy looked at him curiously, smirking. "Did you finally think of a comeback?"
"A half hour, that's not much of a genius." Harper added.
It didn't bother him. "Alexa, I'd like to speak to you and your husband in private, please."
Alexa had been sitting in silence, staring at the floor while the other three carried the conversation, Penny's head was on her shoulder. The poor little girl looked ready for an afternoon nap. She waited with interest as he walked in, gasping a stuttering breath when he asked for her. Something about his voice told her he had some kind of news… it couldn't be good.
"Harper, would you watch her?" She asked, getting to her feet.
Harper rolled her eyes, but didn't complain as she nodded. Penny did not like the idea of being left here, but she was too tired to argue. Alexa went to hurry after Reid, looking back at the other three, all immobile. This was not worth their time.
"John," She said urgently. "Are you coming? This is about our son."
In a perfect imitation of his sister, John rolled his eyes, begrudgingly getting out of his chair. He flashed an annoyed look at his friends, still finding this whole investigation a waste of time.
Reid stopped a distance from the break room. Alexa and John walked with him in silence, keeping a few steps distance from each other. They couldn't even stand being this close together.
Neither said a word, not even sure if they wanted to hear this. Alexa waited, that shadow clutching on her heart to hear the truth she'd dreaded for all but two months now.
"I think your son might still be alive." He stated as bluntly as could be, watching their respective expressions of fear and anger turn to identical shock.