For several hours, Reid disappeared. He'd stormed out the front doors of the police station and walked down the street. Riley had a feeling he went back to the hotel. Not to rest, but to gamble. He found poker very soothing and mentally stimulating. Since he normally played with his friends for pots of candy or pretzels, or with her for a more R rated version, it wasn't anything to concerned about. He only played for real money when he was really upset. She wanted to go after him, but knew better. He would come back; he always did.
Meanwhile, the team worked on the profile. The activity of the squad room had died down, the local police filling out reports before changing shifts. The conference was closed off to anyone not associated with the agents, leaving the Hillmans and the Bundles on their own.
Alexa was too busy with her daughters to pay the others any mind. She'd taken the girls out to get some real food for dinner. Something fast and cheap since she didn't want to spend too much. Taking care of her daughters kept her mind off Peter… though it was difficult. Somewhere out there, her baby might be alive, all alone… who was getting his dinner?
John Hillman, however, had other priorities. The more time he wasted here, the deeper his anger went. Everything Spencer Reid did got under his skin. That kid thought he was so great, coming here just to show him up… to tell John if he couldn't save his son, Spencer certainly would. He was not about to let him get away with that. Spencer was nothing, absolutely worthless… and he wouldn't rest until that boy was certain of it, and that everything he had was not rightfully his.
Most would think he humbled him enough to last a year… but he didn't want to just humiliate him… he wanted to disgrace him. He wanted the memory of his wrath to stay with him for the rest of his life. He had decided that this morning… when he first met her.
"Jeremy," John said when Harper stepped out to buy them some real coffee, as she had said. She didn't know too much about their extra curricular love lives and it was better it stayed that way. "You remember that chick from the Tangiers? That waitress?"
"There've been a lot of them." He answered.
"The one from the casino a few months ago… who told me I was an old man who smelled like cheap cologne."
He was smiling at the memory, and Jeremy let out a laugh. "Yeah… she said she didn't want you sweating booze all over her… you showed her, though."
John could see her through the pillars of the conference room. His smile glowed of pure evil… she was his. Tomorrow, he wouldn't even care about her, but she and Spencer Reid would be haunted by this forever… he saw how hearing about the football field got to him, this would destroy him.
"I'm going do that to her." She informed, watching her brush her black curls off her shoulder. Even from here, she looked very sad. And her husband was off throwing a temper tantrum. This couldn't be more perfect.
"Are you sure?" Jeremy asked, skeptical. "With these cops and g-men around… if she reports you, you could go to jail."
"Relax, I have a system, remember, they won't find a trace." He said. "My word against hers, they can't do anything without proof."
"And if you get caught-"
"I won't get caught!" John hissed, glaring at his best friend of more than three decades. "I never have before. Not as long as you're running interference for me, just like always."
Jeremy let out a sigh. "You know I'll be there… but come on man, are you sure? You can get something a lot hotter than that. I mean, she's okay. Her body's decent… but her teeth, she looks kind of like a beaver."
It didn't matter. Nothing was going to change his mind. In a moment, she stepped away in a bit of a rush, her hand over her mouth. She must be headed to the restroom. He nodded to Jeremy to watch the doors. "You see any cop or one of those agents try to walk out… you know what to do."
He may not agree, but Jeremy complied, waiting as John got out of his seat and casually walked out of the precinct and into the hall.
In the late afternoon, the team was ready to give the profile, but wanted to wait a little while longer for Reid. Before long, the sun was setting, sending the wild city into it's illuminated night. Six hours he'd been gone. Everyone was starting to get worried.
JJ had grabbed another cup of coffee and pulled out her phone. Even after all the texts she and the others sent, there hadn't been a single reply. Enough was enough, if he wanted to be alone and sulk, fine, but he could at least let them know he was okay. She searched through her contacts and pressed his number to call.
As she waited through the rings, a phone's jingle began to play. It was muffled, somewhere off in the distance, but definitely within the precinct. If she didn't know better… it seemed to correspond perfectly with the call she was making. Keeping the phone to her ear, JJ followed the sound, out of the bull pen and down a corridor she hadn't traveled before.
Just as the voicemail picked up, she found where it was coming from. An office not far off from the squad room. The lights were off, but after testing the doorknob, found it was unlocked. She hurried inside.
Switching on the lights, JJ hung up the phone. She let out a sigh of relief seeing Reid had in fact come back a long time ago and was now sleeping on the couch in the empty office, it's inhabitant gone for the weekend no doubt.
Not wanting to wake him, she turned and was just about leave when she heard his voice, "Please don't leave."
Stopping, she looked back and saw him open his eyes. He was a little disappointed, he had been hoping it was Riley, but JJ was welcomed just the same.
"I had a nightmare," He mumbled, meeting her blue eyes. "I dreamed this demon took over my body and was a complete jerk to all my friends."
"So that's what happened?" JJ mentioned, leaning on the door.
"Yeah," He answered, sitting up, his long legs swinging over the side. He leaned on his knees as he rubbed his tired eyes and let out a sigh. His head hurt a bit and his body ached from sleeping for so long on this couch, much too small for his skinny, lanky form. "What time is it?"
"Almost 8." She replied, closing the door. JJ walked over, taking the seat beside him. "When you left, we assumed you went somewhere to gamble."
"I tried," He sighed, "After I lost my third hand and almost two hundred dollars, I knew I was too distracted. I was so exhausted, but I was still angry so I didn't want to go back to the hotel. I came here and found this open office and... decided to lay down for a nap… after five hours, I don't think it's technically a nap anymore."
It explained why he didn't answer any of their messages. "Do you feel any better?" She asked, hopeful.
"I do, actually," He nodded. "I'm not too happy all my friends learned about the worst moment of my life, though."
JJ was doubtful. "That was the worst moment of your life? So… you would rather be held hostage by Henkle again than be naked on a football field?"
He hadn't thought of that. At least on the field, he never truly believed he was going to die.
"Or what about when you and Hotch were stuck in that interview with Chester Hardwick?" She continued. "Or when you were poisoned with anthrax?"
"Okay, okay, maybe it's not the worst moment anymore, but it's definitely one of them." He corrected. "And it certainly scarred me for life."
"Reid… most people have horrible wounds from their childhood they're haunted by, you're not alone. There are lots of people who've been humiliated like that, including without any clothes on." She smiled shyly, looking away. "Some of those people are… in this room."
He was so shocked, his jaw dropped. At first, he thought she was just lying to make him feel better. "You're kidding."
By the way her cheeks glowed, he knew it was the truth. "Oh, I wish I were."
"You never told me anything about that." He cried.
"Yeah, kind of the same way you never told us what happened to you." She replied. "Though, if I had known, I would have told you about this a long time ago."
"What happened?" Reid wondered.
"Well…" She moaned, her eyes closed as she thought back to that horrible day. JJ had never told anyone about this, not even Will. "My freshman year, I started at a private school. They had an amazing athletic program. Some of the biggest scouts in the country came to those games. Maybe I was cocky, but… I knew I was good. I knew I'd have my choice of any college in the Ivy League."
"But you graduated from public school. Why'd you leave?" Reid wondered.
"Well…" She said slowly. Even in this circumstance, she felt a great trepidation at revealing this story. Since the day she left that school, she never spoke of it again. "You know I like to swim to keep in shape. The school had this huge pool, and when the swim team wasn't practicing, it was open to the students. So, one afternoon when I was fifteen, I went for a swim, just as I had many days before. When I was done, I got out of my bathing suit and went to get a shower… when I came out… all my clothes and my towels were gone."
"Who took them?" Reid wondered.
"I never had any proof, but I'm pretty sure it was some of the senior cheerleaders. So anyway, there I was completely naked, dripping wet and nothing to cover myself with. My sister wasn't supposed to be there for another half an hour and who knew how long it would be before she came and found me. I would have given anything for a cell phone back then. So I stole the shower curtain and… kind of tied it like a toga. I grabbed my gym bag and hurried out of the school to get to a pay phone."
"That's not that embarrassing." He said, almost disappointed.
"I'm not done." She corrected. "I never got to the pay phone. When I got there, a bunch of the senior cheerleaders were there… laughing, hanging around. That's how I knew it was them. They knew I'd need to call for help and they were waiting for me. So I snuck away before they saw me and, in the middle of the Pennsylvania winter, I had to wait outside for my sister in nothing but a shower curtain to keep me warm."
"Wow," Reid mumbled. It wasn't as bad, but she certainly wasn't overreacting. "That must have been horrible."
"I could have lived with that." She continued. "What was horrible was coming to school the next day to find my bra and panties hanging on the bulletin board. Since students have to sign in when using the swimming pool… they could see I was the only one there the night before. I was absolutely mortified. So much so, I begged my parents to put me back in public school."
"Okay, yeah, that must have been hard to live down." Reid agreed, and suddenly didn't feel so bad about what happened to him. He could see JJ was embarrassed by it, but she wasn't sickened by revealing the truth. She was able to accept the things that happened and let them go. Why he couldn't do that, too, he wasn't sure.
"It was hard. At the time, it felt like the end of the world. But… life moves on. I think I'm a better person for that. When I started at a new school, I really could relate to the kids who didn't fit in. I knew it was better to be kind to them than target them. It… helped me be who I am today. Just like what they did to you… it made you stronger. Stronger than most people, especially them. They don't have anything but the memory that for a brief time, the world did bow down to them. You have so much more… and you have one thing they will never have."
Reid murmured sadly, "What's that?"
With a smile, "You have us. We are always going to be here for you… through every worst moment of your life. And the best."
Reid couldn't help but match her smile. "Thank you," He muttered and pulled her into a hug.
She held him warmly, patting his back kindly. "Anytime, Spence."
As they pulled apart, Reid let out a chuckle. "There uh… there is a slight flaw in your earlier argument. While yes, my experiences with Henkle and Hardwick and Cyrus and the countless others are terrible days I never wish to relive again… I don't count the anthrax scare as… one of the worst moments of my life. It was terrifying, I'm not going to lie… but I'm incredibly grateful I went through it. Without it, one of the best things would never have happened to me."
Stunned, "What's that?"
Reid's smile widened. "Hotch and I had a conversation, right before I got married… he… he confessed that incident had been kind of the last straw. The Bureau noticed how reckless I'd been over the last year and… that's when they decided I needed evaluated… which, in turn, sent me to… therapy." He met her eyes with a shrug. "Everything happens for a reason, I guess."
"I wouldn't worry about what those guys said back there." She said with a twinkle. "Because of that reason, me and the other girls know their opinion is… shall we say, false information."
All the color drained from Reid's face as his smile disappeared. "She talks to you about that stuff?"
"Reid, we're all girlfriends, this is what we talk about. She loves you, she likes to brag about you." He looked even more humiliated than when John was berating him. "You've got nothing to be embarrassed about, believe me, we're all very impressed. Especially about a certain… Indiana Jones fantasy."
"That was her fantasy, I'll have you know!" He yelled over her laughter. "I can't believe she told you that!"
Her giggles died away after a moment. "Well, don't be too mad at her because Riley is really worried about you. I think you better go talk to her."
Riley. The thought of her instantly twisted him with shame and guilt. He couldn't believe how he'd been treating her all day, yet she hadn't exactly been herself either. Had he not been so distracted with this, he would have made it his mission to find out what was wrong, whether she like it or not.
"Yeah," He nodded. "Do you know where she is?"
Before she could answer, there was a knock on the door. It opened without missing a beat and Morgan suddenly appeared, looking alleviated he found both of them. "Uh, oh." Morgan called as he spotted the two. "You better watch yourself there, JJ. I hear his kind is dangerous when violently provoked."
"Ha ha ha," Reid muttered, giving him a light glare. His anger hadn't as easily subsided for this man.
"Last I heard, Riley was in the restroom, she might still be there." JJ said, standing up.
The blame was doubling inside him, making him feel like his insides were splitting open. "Is she throwing up again?"
After a moment's hesitation, JJ nodded. "Yeah."
"Tell her I'll be there in a moment." He said, standing up. Once again, his eyes fixated on Morgan. The man felt almost vulnerable under his stare.
She could tell Reid wanted to talk to Morgan alone. About what, she didn't know, but wouldn't press to stay. Without another word, she hurried out of the office. The two long time friends were alone, looking to each other like they hadn't shared a kind word in twenty years.
"You okay?" Morgan wondered, his tone empty.
"Fine," Reid answered, getting to his feet. He was in no mood to dance around the subject. "What was that about back there?"
"What?" Morgan asked, unsure.
"I know you, Morgan." Reid sternly said. "I know you could take both John and Jeremy together and win. You were ready to knock the sense of that guy… can you explain to me why?"
He had to admit, he was a little flabbergasted. Morgan turned to Reid, asking "Can't you even tell when you're friend is standing up for you?"
"Honestly, Morgan, I would have thought you and those guys would get along." Reid said. "Maybe you're not as mean, maybe you don't hate me, but… you tease me just like they do."
"I do not treat you like that." He argued. "How can you compare me to them?"
"You make fun of me all the time." He claimed, a bitterness in his words. "Then you get offended when other people do it. I don't understand, if you dislike so much about me, why is it so strange when other people feel the same?"
"Whoa!" Morgan yelled, taking a couple steps forward. "You think I don't like you? I can't believe you, kid. You're a know-it-all a lot of the time, yeah. You're abrasive and kind of annoying sometimes, but there's nothing about you that I dislike so much, I'd want you to change."
"Then I don't get it!" Reid exclaimed. "If you don't see me like they do, why do you treat me the same way?"
Morgan rolled his eyes. The kid just did not get it. Or he did and he just wanted to embarrass him now. Kind of meaningless since they were alone. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"
"Say what?" Reid asked, oblivious.
In that moment, Reid had never seen him so bashful. Morgan avoided his eyes, unsure of his own footing. He could barely look at him, wanting to tell him to forget it and storm out of the room. "I tease you because I'm the only one who's… you know, allowed to. You're… you're like… my little brother… and I'll be damned if I let someone pick on my little brother."
In a million years, he never would have expected such a response. Reid knew Morgan was his friend, that he did care about him… but he never knew he saw him like that. Touched, Reid couldn't help but smile. "You think of me as you're little brother?"
"Kind of, yeah." He answered. "Look, kid, I grew up with two sisters. I didn't get to do stuff like this growing up… if I treated Sarah or Des like this, they ran to my dad to tattle. I wanted a brother I could pick on and tease and… look out for. So when I grew up and this scrawny, shy, awkward kid joined the unit with no one to look out for him… I don't know, I guess those instincts kicked in, and after all this time, they never stopped. I know I make fun of you… I know I torture you and play pranks on you… but I do it because that's how I show I… you know…" He lowered his voice, practically mumbling, "…love you."
"And here I thought you hated me when you first met me." Reid said. "I mean… wasn't it you who told me I couldn't handle this stuff and should find another profession?"
Morgan suddenly felt his body go numb. Never, in all this time, had Reid brought up the day they met. "Yeah…" He muttered, having not thought of that day for a few years, and even longer before that. "I never apologized to you about that, did I?"
"Don't," Reid shook his head. "Morgan, I should thank you. You set me straight that day. I knew I had to work harder if I was going to make it in the FBI. Everyone always pushed me to use my brain, that it was the only thing I needed to succeed. You were the first one who made me realize I had to be physically strong enough, too. If it hadn't been for you, I might never have made it here."
"Really? You never told me that." He said, pleased.
"You tease me all the time; you think I was going to tell you that? I didn't want you to have the satisfaction!" Reid said, grinning.
The two men were just short of laughing, and Reid was feeling the best he'd felt all day. "Thanks for sticking up for me in there."
"I was ready to put his head through the wall." Morgan stated, much more serious. "This is all my fault, Reid. I should have just sent that woman away when she showed up."
"This isn't Alexa's fault." Reid shook his head, finally admitting what he'd been trying to deny all day. "I mean… from what I heard from Meredith, Alexa's just as much of a target for them most of the time… she only came to the BAU to find her son, it's the other three that are making this difficult."
"You've got to stand up to them, Reid." Ordered Morgan. "Even if it doesn't put them in their place, they're feeding off your misery. I know it's hard, but… you've got to tell them off. Let them know you're not some weak little kid anymore, make them feel worthless for a change. It's what they deserve."
Reid wasn't quite so happy anymore. "I'm not so sure I can." He mumbled, feeling discomfited as he looked away.
Morgan knew he was underestimating himself. Reid could stand up to them; he was fully capable of putting each of them in their place ten times over. Unfortunately, no matter what he could do, fear was debilitating. It wasn't something a person could easily switch off, and Morgan couldn't think of anything that could possibly trigger such a reaction for Reid.
Riley was finally returning from the Ladies' Room. Her throat was sore and scratchy from vomiting so much. She needed some water… or maybe some tea. She would love a cup of coffee, but couldn't convince herself to have even just a small one. It made her feel selfish. She was better with tea… and another apple. She couldn't seem to get enough of those. Was it going to be like this for the next seven months?
At that, Riley stopped in her tracks. The next seven months. That was the first time she let herself think so far in the future. Truly, since this morning, she'd only been able to see a month in advanced… that was, after all, all she had left to decide whether to abort.
She shoved the thought aside for now. She wasn't going to make any decision tonight, but in truth she took Spencer's words to heart. She was on her own… she didn't deserve to seek his comfort and counsel, not after everything she put him through. It was a shame, the more she thought about telling him, the more she realized she wanted to. Maybe if he knew… maybe she would feel better about it.
Gathering herself, she turned the corner and checked her phone. No messages or calls from Spencer. Her stomach contorted with fear. Where was he? She was really getting scared. It was anyone's guess what he would get into all alone, his mind in such a dark place.
The squad room was still a few feet away. Walking slowly, Riley clicked through her phone to call him. It was then she suddenly found her path was blocked. John Hillman appeared out of nowhere, standing before her like a towering wall.
"Well, hello, Beautiful." His voice as thick and smooth as a snake. It slithered over the walls of the empty corridor.
"Excuse me," Riley said, trying to stay calm. She looked to him with a fire not easily put out. She couldn't be intimidated as quickly as others. "You're in my way."
"That was the idea," His mouth curled into a smile. Did he expect that to be charming? "I must be a magnet, because when I first saw you, I was instantly attracted to you."
She couldn't believe this. This man had a lot of nerve to think not only she would be civil to him, but he could give her some cheesy line and she'd swoon. "Do you really think I'm going to speak with you after the way you treated my husband?"
"Right, I'm all in tears." John laughed. "Like you don't know he's screwing that blonde piece of ass on his team."
Riley went from irritated to fuming. She wasn't sure what she hated more, that he thought of her husband as such a low life or thought of her friend in such a degrading matter.
She glanced around her, finding no other living soul. Nothing she could use as an excuse to step away, and the restroom was too far to escape in there. With a roll of her eyes, she turned around. Of course he would do this when the others weren't around. What a coward.
"You know, speaking as a professional psychiatrist, I'd say you're clinically delusional. You should know, just because you don't respect your marriage doesn't mean every man is as much of a jackass as you."
"Now that's not very lady-like." He grinned, leaning closer. "Come on… how long have you been married to that? Because I've seen what that boy has to offer, it can't have changed much. Don't you miss being with a real man? Because… I could do that for you. Even if it's just once."
"Ugh," Riley recoiled. She may need to go back to the restroom, because she felt like vomiting again. And it certainly wasn't from this pregnancy. "You know, Spencer's told me a bit about you over the years. But I realize he was wrong. You're not a jerk, you are a downright disgusting pig. I pity that poor woman being married to you all this time. If she had any brains, she'd kick your ass to the curb. Now, excuse me."
With as much force as she could muster, Riley shoved herself past John, looking to her phone again. This man wouldn't be worth her time if he paid for a session.
This was not going at all to how he'd envisioned. Maybe he didn't expect Riley to be compliant, but it had never mattered before. How many woman had he approached like this and gotten exactly what he wanted, even if they outright refused? He watched with loathing at this woman who had the nerve to be so insolent. She wasn't going to get away that easily… he would have to be rough with her.
"You get back here, I'm not done." John ordered. When she didn't stop, he called out, hurrying after her. "Hey, I'm talking to you, Bitch!"
As his cry rang in the vast emptiness, he grabbed her arm. So forcefully, Riley cried out with pain as he pulled her in front of him. He stared at her in fury, ready to release his anger on her. This would be easy. How much of a fight could she put up anyway? He felt her try to wrench herself from his grasp but he was too strong. That just made it more fun.
"Let me go!" Riley moaned, as she struggled against his grasp. She moaned in both pain and disgust as he brought her body against his, holding her so tight she could barely breath, let alone yell for help. The others were too far away to hear her cries of terror. She searched for someone to come down the hall, but he had her in a vice grip, she could barely move.
His eyes were burning with anger as he spun her and dragged her down the corridor, spotting an alcove leading off to a few different offices. No one was going to come down here anytime soon and he must have realized that. John's body pressed against her to keep her pinned, his one hand wrapping around her mouth, so hard she could barely breathe.
She moaned and whimpered, his other hand bunching her sweater in a fist. He laughed as he felt her legs writhe under him, trying to kick him away.
"Yeah, that's right… fight me." John laughed. He was already enjoying this. Normally, when he snuck off with a girl, she was more than willing to comply, but sometimes, there were girls not quite so open to this opportunity. He enjoyed the bit of challenge they put up, and no one ever fought as much as Riley Reid.
He pushed against her again. Along with his hand over her mouth, she could hardly breathe. Why was he doing this to her? She squeaked and whimpered, desperate for someone to find her struggle… tears burned in her eyes as she felt his hand start to go up her shirt.
Riley had never been so terrified. She'd been in danger before, but at those times she'd had help and was able to put up more of a struggle. This monster was holding her so hard, but that wasn't even the reason why she wasn't fighting any harder. She was afraid if she struggle or just resisted too much… he might punch her in her stomach… what would that do? She was too scared to even consider what that meant right now.
"Open your eyes," John said softly and laughed as he stroked along her bra, loving how she shuddered. "I want to see you, open your eyes."
Tears were spilling out now as she opened her eyes, feeling nauseas at his sickening smile. "Trust me, you're going to love this."
She was crying, almost hysterically now. It had to be impossible for one man to be this strong… she sobbed into his hand, exhausting herself as she still fought to get away, with as much force as she dared. She wasn't sure how she'd get away this time, without being able to fight… and Spencer was no where around to save her.