What just happened? Riley couldn't make sense of anything. A minute ago she was talking to Emily… now nothing around her made sense. Everything was blurry and foggy, with a blinding pain, something sticky and warm sliding down the side of her face next to the window.
"Riley," a voice called in the distance, and something gently brushed her arm, but her brain couldn't register enough to respond. "Riley… answer me… are you alright?"
She wouldn't answer, though she tried. The pain in the rest of her body was radiating through her… her face was sore… and her leg felt like it had been stepped on… and her stomach felt like she'd been hit with a baseball bat.
Oh, God, no. She gasped in fear… her stomach. It didn't matter what happened, all she cared about was what happened next. How badly was she hurt? What would she need to do to get better? Was it… too late…
"Riley!" Emily cried, finally getting her attention. She was coming back to Earth and turned to face her friend in the driver's seat. "Are you alright?"
She was too scared to talk, her body shaking so bad. All she could do was shake her head. Tears were filling her eyes… no… this couldn't be happening.
"It's okay… the… uh…" She winced in pain. "The driver of the truck is… calling for help, it'll be okay."
She was holding her arm awkwardly, like it had been disconnected as easily as a rag doll. Riley nodded, closing her eyes as tears leaked out. She couldn't speak, but her mind was screaming into the silent night. Don't hurt the baby… please, don't hurt the baby…
Even though Christmas was days ago, the streets were still littered with bright twinkling lights and fresh evergreen with red satin bows. There had been a light snow yesterday, but the streets were clear. It gave the District of Columbia such a magical appeal.
Christmas had come at a very awkward time for Reid and Riley. The wedding was only two weeks away, just after the new year. They were both looking forward to it excitedly, ecstatic to become husband and wife. Since they were spending a good bit of money on the event – and the honeymoon to London there after – they agreed not to exchange presents for the holiday. It didn't matter, spending their lives together was the best present of all.
Today had been a very hard for Reid, though. Today was a very important day to him… and he had to pretend like it meant nothing at all. That was usually the way she liked it. It was just another day to her, and she preferred to let it pass. He wasn't so sure what the story was there, but Riley never wanted any kind of recognition or gesture to signify the event. That was killing him, because there was nothing he would want more than to overly adore the woman he loved on her birthday.
It wasn't though Riley didn't like birthdays. She had always made Reid's special, buying him some present he'd never even asked for, completely perplexed how she knew he'd want it. His 30th had been the best. She knew he was a bit depressed for turning 30, a little bothered that perhaps he wasn't doing enough with his life, but Riley had made that better. Sure, he had lots of accomplishments and had achieved things in the world most people couldn't even dream of… but that wasn't what made him special. She made a point to tell him that.
So she made all his friends as well as his father write a letter about how much they cared about him and the impact he had on their lives. She'd even taken one of the more touching letters his mother had sent him with some of his baby pictures of the two together (courtesy of his father) and put it together in a decorated scrapbook. On the last page was a letter from Riley, telling him how much better her life was because of him, how she would never be able to repay him for saving her in so many ways… that because he loved her, she had a reason to live. Reid was so touched by this, not only by her words but everyone he knew. He could see the effect he really had on the world… and it was a lot better than making history. Because these were the people who really mattered.
He knew he had to return the favor. Tonight, he was breaking with the tradition. If she knew about it before hand, she'd refuse to be apart of it. He wasn't sure how she was going to respond… but once they got there and she could see just how special her birthday was… he was sure she would love it.
"We're late," Riley muttered, looking at the clock. He had told her they had to be there at 7:30 and it was already twenty to eight. Not that it mattered; the birthday girl couldn't be late. "You should have gotten into the shower sooner."
"I would have if someone had let me." He cried. "Wasn't it you who dragged me into the bedroom right after we got back from my fitting?"
Indeed, the two had spent the morning at the tailor where Reid had his last fitting before the wedding. "I couldn't help it. You just looked so sexy in that tux. If that rental didn't cost $100 for damages, I would have ripped it off you right there in the store."
"Two more weeks," He smiled, reaching over to take her hand. "And I wouldn't worry, I don't think JJ's looking forward to this party Will's dragging her to. Any excuse to spend less time there, I think she'll be grateful for."
"Well, happy or not, I'm glad we get to spend the night with the boys." She smiled. "I just love Joey, he's such a precious little thing."
"You should have seen Henry at that age." He mentioned. "I think he was even cuter."
"He gets that from his godfather." She teased, reaching over to give him a pinch on his cheek.
They made a left and drove down a few blocks. They paused at an intersection before a large white Victorian looking house with a bright red door. Riley leaned over to look out the driver's window, as she always did when they were here.
"I just love that house." Riley said with a dreamy smile. "It's so perfect, like a dollhouse."
Reid turned to look at himself. It did look like a lovely place to live. "It is nice."
"Do you think we'll ever live in a place like that?" She asked with a grin, leaning back in her seat once again.
Turning to her, Reid met her eyes. "I'm certain of it."
She smiled, reaching over to take his hand as Reid continued through the stop sign. "Oh, hey," He said, glancing at her once again. They were almost there, but he couldn't resist any longer. "I almost forgot… happy birthday."
He smile faded a bit, but she tried to be grateful. "Thank you," She barely whispered, turning towards the windshield.
That was it, he didn't say another word about it. Neither of them did.
JJ's house never failed to have such elegant decorations for Christmas, with icicle lights glittering on the porch and a large wreath on the window. Reid pulled into the driveway, parked right next to Will's car. It didn't matter if he blocked him in or not, but he still had to keep up the pretense.
He climbed out of the car and Riley followed suit. He did a quick look around the street, pleased to see no one had parked around the house. Even in the night, she might be able to recognize their cars. She walked over and Reid took her gloved hand, leading her to the door. He braced himself as he knocked four times, specifically.
It took an awfully long time for JJ to come to the door. Riley was shivering, leaning closer to her fiancé in order to keep warm. Reid wrapped her in his arms, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. A few years ago, he'd never believe it were possible to love a person this much… yet here they were.
Finally, JJ opened the door. She looked very nice, though not as dressed up as someone might think going to a party. "There you guys are," She said with a smile.
Reid caught her eye for a moment, sharing a secret the unsuspecting girl didn't know. "Sorry we're late, we lost track of time."
"That's all right, come on in." She said, stepping aside. The walked into the front hall, taking off their coat and gloves.
"Are the boys still awake?" Riley wondered, setting her gloves with her purse.
"Oh, yeah, they're excited to see you." She said, trying to keep casual. "In fact… they're waiting for you both in the family room with Will."
"Let's go see them," Reid said, taking her hand again. He gave a loving smile as he led her down the hall to the back of the house, knowing what was waiting for her down there.
Reid managed to side step her so she'd have to walk through the closed door first. The lights were off in here when she stepped in, which was odd. Quickly, Riley flipped them on, shrieking with shock at the outcome.
"Surprise!" The crowd of people called as they all jumped out of their hiding places. They took delight in the stunned expression on Riley's face who stumbled back, caught protectively by Reid.
It took a moment for her to regain her composure. She couldn't put two and two together, why there were so many balloons and decorations around, why all of her and Spencer's friends were standing here, some even wearing party hats… tonight was nothing special.
"What is this?" She finally managed to ask.
"It's a surprise party!" Garcia, between Kevin and Morgan, explained. "For you, you silly goose!"
"It is your birthday, isn't it?" Emily grinned.
"Uh… yeah," She managed to stammer. She couldn't look at anyone in the room, her heart still pounding from the shock.
"Happy Birthday, Riley!" Rossi called.
"Did we get you? Did you suspect this?" Morgan wondered curiously.
All she could manage was a shake of her head. She looked so ashamed by all this… like she was lying and it actually wasn't her birthday. "No… I never expected something like this."
"It was all Reid's idea." Hotch insisted. "He's been planning this for months."
He had said it to give credit to the young boy, and he thought Riley would show him some gratitude, but she didn't. She looked to Reid with the coldest expression she'd ever seen. "Thank you, Spencer… uh," She looked back at the others. "Guys… I appreciate the party. It was very nice of all of you, but… it-it's not really my thing, so… I think I'm going to go home."
Shooting another bitter expression to Reid, she pushed past both him and Riley to head back down the hall.
"Riley!" Reid called, but she wouldn't even look back. She quickly grabbed her coat and purse and rushed out, slamming the door.
"That… wasn't the reaction any of us were hoping for." Emily noted.
"I thought you said she'd like this!" JJ exclaimed, looking to Reid in horror. "We just humiliated her."
"It'll be alright." Reid assured, looking at everyone. Garcia was pulling off her hat sadly and everyone else felt very awkward to be standing here like this, in the middle of this somber scene and festive decorations. "Please, just give us a few minutes, I will bring her back."
Without another word, Reid rushed down to the front door. Forgoing his coat, he rushed out. He first intended to run to the car, but stopped short, not even over the threshold.
Riley was sitting on the porch swing. Her arms were folded and she stared off into the snow covered lawn.
"I thought you were leaving," Reid said as he stepped out, carefully closing the door.
"I don't have the keys," Riley grumbled. "And even if I did, I wouldn't leave without you. I wouldn't betray you like that."
"That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Reid said, going to sit beside her.
"Get off my swing," She grumbled, not looking at him.
"It's not your swing, it's JJ's. Will bought it for her for a… birthday present." He stuttered, wanting to laugh at the irony. The humor faded within a second and stared at her. She seemed so sad… on a day when she had every right to be happy.
"What's wrong?" He asked. "I thought this would be a nice surprise. A party with all our friends, with presents and cake. Red velvet, your favorite."
"Spencer," Riley moaned. "It's a wonderful gesture… but you're wasting it on me. You're wasting the time of all our friends, I'm sure there's a thousand better things they could be doing right now than being forced into a party for me."
"Riley, no one's arm was twisted to come here!" Reid explained. "Everyone loved the idea, everyone's been pitching in to help me with it. I may have thought of it, but I never would have gotten it off the ground if it weren't for them… they're here because they care about you."
She didn't believe that, but she seemed to be coming around. "But why?" She asked. "Why did you do this? My birthday isn't special, it's just another day."
Reid was almost offended by that. "Not to me." With that, he inched closer to her on the swing. Right beside her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I love you so much… this day is not just special for you… it's special for me. I'm glad you were born Riley, I'm glad because of this day, you came into my life… maybe you didn't have anyone to tell you that, before, but you do now. And I would like to celebrate this fact with you… as well as all our friends."
Her guilt doubled as she looked back towards the window behind her. Maybe this wasn't so bad as she was making it out to be. "They're really here because they want to be?"
"Every single one of them." He smiled. "I mean… it's not really my thing, but-"
"Alright!" She cried, turning to face him. He laughed as she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry… thank you for my party. It's so sweet of you."
"Happy birthday," He said softly, moving in to bring her into long kiss.
As they pulled apart, Riley smiled and stood up. "I guess I have some explaining to do."
Reid got to his own feet, taking her hand for another time and they reentered the house. They walked slowly back into the family room where the doors stood open. The others sat inside, wondering what was going to happen next. Each one wondering if it would be better if they just left.
"Look who's back," Reid called as they walked in.
Everyone got up, looking at Riley expectantly. They didn't seem mad, but obviously they wanted an explanation.
"I'm sorry, guys," Riley cried. "I didn't mean to run out, this is absolutely wonderful… it's just my birthday has never been anything worth celebrating… I've never really had friends who cared enough even to buy me a present, let alone give up a Saturday to celebrate with me."
"We didn't mean to embarrass you, Riley," Emily comforted. "Reid said you'd really like it."
"Well, I'm sure he thinks so, but I don't really know." She said glancing at him a moment with a smile. Looking back at the others, she shrugged. "I've never had a birthday party before."
The others were a bit stunned by that, but quickly recovered. "Well, then this is long overdue." Hotch said, holding his one arm out to her for a hug. "Come on, join the party."
With a bright smile, she hurried over to get a hug from him. Rossi followed suit, along with ones from each member of their intimate little party. Last of the group stood by the door, and Riley pulled him into the warmest hug of them all, whispering her love for him in his ear… it was the best birthday she'd ever had.
Reid kept thinking of that day. He'd broken a barrier because of that party, after which Riley wasn't so reluctant to celebrate anymore… he'd never given much thought as to why she hated the day she was born so much. He knew she'd had a troubled childhood, he assumed her birthday had never been properly remembered… but his mother never remembered his. She barely knew what day it was most of the time. It didn't matter, he still liked it.
To know your parents despised you so much, they practically disregarded you on the day you were born… that must have been heartbreaking.
After awhile, Reid calmed down. He came back inside and paced around the halls for about an hour, just contemplating what to do. He didn't want to lose this baby. He was already in love with it, a little life that he and Riley made because they loved each other so much. How many people could claim that, that they were alive not because of immature hormones or alcohol, but simply because of love?
That was it, though. They loved each other. Reid loved Riley more than anything. Morgan was right. Making Riley choose was a mistake. Marriage didn't come down to ultimatums. She was going to do what she needed to survive. Reid would lose everything… and he couldn't lose her again. He couldn't live without her.
He knew what he had to do. And as much as it would hurt… it was the right thing.
The squad room was surprisingly empty when he came in around ten that night. The team was still there, still working, a few officers were hunched over computers or making late phone calls, but for the most part everyone was gone.
"Where'd everybody go?" Reid asked as he approached JJ and Garcia, seated at one desk. Garcia was typing aimlessly on her laptop, searching for leads while JJ sat with her phone to her ear.
"Most of the officers had to get to their tours." JJ informed, looking at her phone annoyed. She put it back to her ear. "A few are in the On-Call room, resting in case we get a lead and need backup. Hotch, Morgan, and Rossi are in the conference room. We convinced the Bundles to leave, even though they were reluctant to go without getting Hillman out of jail."
"Not that they were very merry on paying the bail, mind you." Garica added.
"That's the truth," JJ muttered. "Mrs. Hillman didn't want to go, she wanted to be here in case we found Peter, but I convinced her the best thing she could do is go home, put her girls to bed, and get some rest. She'd just drive herself crazy here."
"Is, uh…" He cleared his throat slowly. Even though he'd come to terms with this, it was still going to be hard to get out. "Is Riley back yet? I need to talk to her."
"That's what I'm trying to find out," JJ said, closing her phone again. "They should have been back by now."
"Maybe they got some information at the Gereedo's place." Garcia said with hopefulness. "Anything they could tell them has got to be more than I can find on here. I'm so disappointed in my systems right now!"
"When you get in touch with them… just tell Riley we need to talk." Reid said.
"Spence," JJ said cautiously. "Maybe you should give her some space… I know you're upset, but do you really think she's processed this at all? She needs time to think."
"I know, I'm not… I don't want to force her into a decision, I just want us to talk." He ran a hand through his hair, realizing his shaking a bit. No doubt from overexertion. "And… tell her I love her."
At that, JJ smiled. "Sure thing."
With that, he made it over to the conference room. The girl's watched his retreat as JJ hit Emily's number again. After another few rings, she gasped as the call finally connected. "Emily, finally! Are you guys on your way… Em? Em, what's wrong?"
Meanwhile, the other men were hard at work, focused mainly on the victimology. "Something about this really sticks out." Morgan said. "There's no abuse on any of these kids. The first two boys were suffocated, so let's ignore those signs. The others were fed, there are no injuries on them… they don't even look like they've been crying… they seem in perfect condition, up until the point he kills them."
"You're right, Morgan." Rossi said, reading another file. "There are no marks on these boys besides the cause of death."
"Thank you, Dave, I know I'm right." Morgan groaned, exhaustion and his stomach pain were creeping up together, creating a very nasty attitude. They had ordered dinner, but just the thought of food made him nauseas again. "The question is why?"
"No, there are no marks on these boys. None." Rossi plainly stated. "These boys weren't weak, underfed children. They were strong, they survived two months alone with this man. I'm not saying they could have fought him off, but they would have some strength. There are no bruises on their arms from being forced under water, there's no marks of being pushed out of the tree or the impact at hitting the ground a greater force… what if he's not killing them at all?"
"Someone has to be killing them, Dave." Hotch corrected.
Rossi wasn't so sure. "What if the boys are killing themselves?"
"Six year old boys do not commit suicide." Morgan argued.
"I don't mean suicide." He clarified. "The unsub is reliving his brother's death… but what if he's convinced them to do it themselves."
"What purpose would that serve, though?" Hotch wondered.
"Well, that's the real question." He replied. "His brother died and now he has to see the death again… over and over until he's satisfied. The odds are, he'll never be satisfied."
Reid had been standing in the entrance way, listening to their conversation. He knocked on the pillar beside him to grab their attention. All three sat up expectantly.
"Reid," Rossi cried, "Hope you don't mind we kept working."
He shook his head, a little ashamed he was too busy with his own problems to keep looking for Peter. He took a deep breath, staring at the floor as he said, "I made a decision."
"You did?" Morgan asked, interested.
He nodded silently. He took a moment to respond, breathing deeply to remain calm. "I really took what you said to heart and… and I know you're right."
Morgan let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. Hotch seemed relieved by that, but kept his thoughts to himself for the time being. Rossi, obviously also brought up to speed on their conversation, waited with great concern.
Reid continued. "If Riley doesn't want the baby, nothing's going to change her mind. Either way, I'm not going to get it… but Riley's here now." He looked up to meet the gazes around him. Suddenly he felt stronger. These people were apart of him, he could feel their support even without their words. "I love her… and I did make a promise. For better or for worse… right now it's worse, but it'll get better."
"I know it's hard, Reid, but I think you're making the right decision." Rossi said compassionately.
"When Riley gets back… first I'm going to beg for her forgiveness and tell her she means more to me than anything… and I'll tell her I'll do whatever she wants to do." He paused, gasping for breath. Saying all this was so exhausting, he could only imagine what a wreck he'd be when he finally said this to her. "It kills me to do it, but if it's what she wants… I'll be there for her."
"I'm very proud of you, Reid." Hotch said kindly. "I know this is the hardest thing you've ever had to do… choosing this just shows how much she means to you. In the end, it'll be okay. This might even bring you closer together."
"Maybe," Reid said, disbelieving.
"You never know, kid." Morgan announced, "In a few years, she might change her mind. She might want a family later… when she's ready."
Reid didn't just doubt that, he was absolutely certain that would never happen. If Riley didn't want a baby now… she never would. He officially let go of that dream of ever having a family. Well… that was probably for the best.
He grabbed his cell from his pocket, checking his messages. No calls from Riley tonight, no surprise. "I'm going to try and call her, maybe I can get this forgiveness process in motion a bit faster."
"It's odd, shouldn't they be back by now?" Rossi wondered.
As if summoned by his question, JJ hurried into the room. "Guys."
Morgan asked, "What's up, JJ?"
She took a moment to catch her breath. The woman was nothing short of terrified, having just learned something awful. Reid's first thought was something was wrong with Will or the boys.
"I uh… I just got off the phone with Emily." She took a pause, still trying to come to terms with this. "She and Riley were in a car accident."
For a moment, Reid thought he was about to have a heart attack. His entire world just came to a screeching halt. He was speechless, not even sure how to speak, let alone find the right words.
He wasn't the only one. Certainly Hotch and Rossi were worried, but Morgan felt like he was in a dream state. Emily… in a car accident… it didn't matter if she just spoke to JJ, until he saw her for himself, his mind was automatically assuming the worst. She had to be alright… How could this have happened… he'd never even told her…
"Are… are they okay?" Reid finally managed.
"They're both hurt… but Emily said Riley's worse than she is. They were hit by a truck at an intersection, it impacted the passenger's side. She's conscious and she's not bleeding much, but they do think she's in a bit of shock. They're at the emergency room."
"Oh, God…" Reid moaned. This couldn't be happening… not when the last thing he said to her was he was going to leave her. "I… I…"
"Go," Hotch said immediately, saving him from trying to form a complete thought. Right now, he just needed to get to his wife.
Morgan seemed to get his reasoning back first. His voice cracked a bit as he pulled the car keys from his pocket. "Come on, kid, I'll take you."
The two men hurried out of the room, rushing through the squad room. "Call us when you hear something." Garcia called after them, filled with terror and guilt herself.
Reid followed Morgan down to the car, both practically running to get their faster. The stairs were quicker than the elevator, hurrying out to the back parking lot.
Reaching the car, Morgan got into the driver's seat, the pain in his stomach nonexistent at the thought of Emily in danger. He loved her… why had he never told her he loved her?
Reid slumped into the other side. He couldn't think. He felt like he was having an out of body experience. He couldn't lose her… he didn't even care about the baby right now… he just wanted her.