The only constant was the pain. Reid felt life coming back to him, but the hot bleeding hurt still throbbed in his chest. He'd been shot a couple of times in a vest, but it was nothing compared to this.
He didn't see Riley. The last thing he could remember was smelling her perfume as he slipped away. He opened his eyelids, the only muscle in his body he could move without pain. He felt so weak, and the piercing siren made his head ache.
"Reid," he heard, and looked to see Hotch. "Just hang on, kid, we're almost there."
He tried to hang on. He wanted to hang on. But it was too strong. His body couldn't take this. No matter how much he fought the force, it wouldn't give up until it had him.
Reid searched for Riley. His eyes were desperate to find her, strained his ears for her voice. He tried to call out her name, but all anyone heard was a soft moan. No, Reid had to find her. She had to be the last thing he saw…
"Reid…" Hotch's voice was fading away. He let his eyes close and the world disappeared.
"He's crashing," A paramedic said, checking the monitor. His heartbeat turned rapid. Hotch watched as the screen went from chaos… to a steady line, followed by a long, uninterrupted resonance.
…
Riley sat in the waiting room. She and Emily had arrived at St. Anne's over an hour ago, but no one had given them any news. Right now, Riley sat alone. One thumb rubbed at her palm.
"Riley?" a voice asked.
She looked up. It was Garcia, standing with Morgan, JJ, and Elle. Emily had called them when they arrived. Each one looked terrified, hoping she would have answers for them.
Riley didn't know what to say. Her mind just kept replaying the scene over and over, like a horrifying television clip show. She continued focusing on her palm.
JJ moved and took the seat next to her. Riley glanced at her, trying to explain. "I can't get the blood… I can't get the blood off my hands." Indeed, most of the blood had been washed away, but her palms had a few small stains over them. "I scrubbed and… I scrubbed… and it just won't go away."
"Don't worry about it. It'll go away." JJ took her hand. She knew Riley was upset, but they were just as worried as she and needed her to focus. "Have you heard anything?"
"No," She moaned. Her free hand clutched at her bloodstained skirt. More tears were forming in her eyes. "No one's… told me…"
"Okay, that's okay. Everything's going to be just fine." JJ put her arm around her. Her hand caressed her shoulder, an attempt to soothe the pain. Riley closed her eyes, stopping another burst of tears from escaping. She had to stay calm. Getting upset wouldn't do any good.
"Where's Prentiss?" Morgan asked.
Riley didn't reply at first. "Coffee," was all she managed to squeak, leaning her temple on JJ's shoulder, allowing a few tears to escape.
…
"Damnit," Emily whispered, smacking the side. Good coffee did not come out vending contraptions, but the cafeteria was too far away. Hotch could be here any minute with news. They didn't even know if the ambulance had made it here yet.
She pressed a few more buttons. Mechanisms moved inside the body of the machine, but nothing was coming out. "Damnit," she cried, kicking it with her foot.
"Hey, Prentiss," Morgan said, not far away. "We're all worried about Reid, but don't take it out on an innocent coffee machine like that."
Emily glanced over. He was admiring her, leaning against a coke machine. "Don't talk to me."
Without a response, Morgan reached in his pocket, pulling out a few coins. Emily leaned her head against the neon coffee sign. She listened as the coins were placed into a slot, a moment later Morgan's selection was handed to him. He had better luck with his machine.
"Here," Morgan said, the wrapper coming into her sight. A large Hersey bar, with almonds. "I know you. You need chocolate."
Without expression, she took the candy and slowly opened it, turning so she was leaning on the machine. She wasn't sure if this were amends or just an effort to make her feel better, but either way she accepted the gesture. However, when the chocolate hit her mouth, she couldn't taste it.
"I'm sorry," Morgan said. "I was… being a jerk before and I had no right to act like that." He waited for her to reply. After only one bite of chocolate, she had stopped eating. "Maybe I was more of a prick than a jerk… Emily… are you listening?"
"I froze." Emily muttered.
Morgan had no idea what she meant. Emily continued, "I saw him… he was bleeding and he was in pain… Reid was dying and I just stood there. If Hotch and Riley hadn't been there, he would have…"
"Prentiss this is not your fault." Morgan said.
"I wanted to shoot him," She spoke in monotone, "Reid had left his gun in the storage room, he hadn't realized until after the fact. I went for mine, but it was too late. He was already aiming at Reid. My hands were shaking, I was so scared… I had never been that scared before in my life. I couldn't risk missing the shot… if I had missed, he would have fired… I should have just… he got away because I was a coward."
Morgan pulled her so he was looking in her eyes. "Emily, you were thinking about your teammate. You were trying to save his life as well as your own. If this is anyone's fault, it's mine."
"Why? You would have hit Nathan, I know. You're a great shot. You're good under pressure." She snapped.
"I was supposed to go with you." Morgan explained. "Remember, but because I'm a selfish prick, I let the two of you go alone-"
"And then you could be the injured one." Emily said. "Morgan, it doesn't matter if it's Reid or you or me… it's one of us…. One of our team is dying…"
They both felt helpless; there was nothing they could do. It was up to Reid now. All they could do was hope and plead to whoever would listen to bring their friend back to them.
Morgan put his arm around her. "Come on," he said, "Let's go wait with the others."
Her chocolate clutched in one hand, Emily wrapped her arm across his back, leaning on him. A few tears leaked onto his t-shirt, thankful. At least they okay.
…
Several hours ticked by in the waiting room. Morgan continued trying to reach Rossi, but each call went unanswered. He had gone to the campus to handle the outcome of the shooting. Cops were searching around the area for Nathan Harris, but there was no sign of him. Still, it seemed odd Rossi was taking so long without calling the rest of the team with information.
At last, Morgan gave up. He was too concerned to do anything but worry, just like the rest of them. Emily soon got tired of sitting. She was circling the waiting room. Normally, people hated her pacing, but none of them seemed to even notice it this time. Morgan and Garcia sat side by side. Riley remained with JJ with Elle sitting on the opposite side of her.
"Reid's going to be fine," Garcia called out in the silent room. Everyone looked at her, appalled she would say that so nonchalantly. "Oh, come on. Reid's been almost killed a zillion times. He's an expert at evading death. This is just another notch in his belt!"
Morgan knew she was right, but until they knew otherwise, he didn't want to get his hopes up. He reached beside him and took Garcia's hand. "I hope you're right, Baby Girl."
"I know I'm right," She said with confidence. Even if she didn't feel it, the group needed some optimism. "Come on, guys, we've been through things like this before. With all of us. And they're never as bad as we think they are. We're just stuck in the middle of it right now so we can't see that."
"I said that to Spencer yesterday morning," Riley mumbled. She had still been leaning on JJ, but sat up. Her hands rubbed her eyes, blocking out the light. "Why does this keep happening to us? I don't know, maybe I'm bad luck for him."
"Riley, it's not you. Reid is bad luck to himself." Morgan said. "The world has been kicking his ass since I met him. And I think, out of everyone here, I've known him the longest." He gave a smile. "But that kid manages to come back, better than ever."
"Um… Riley?" a voice asked.
Expectantly, Riley sat up. She was slightly disappointed, see Will Reid had arrived there. But stood up to greet him anyway.
"Mr. Reid," She muttered softly.
The poor man looked like Riley felt. He was white as a ghost and seemed about to be sick. The distraught and worry was in his eyes. "I got your message," He said. "Is… is he…"
"We don't know." Riley squeaked. "But it should be any minute now."
"How did this happen?" He asked, claiming a seat with the group. Riley reclaimed hers, taking back JJ's hand immediately. She squeezed a bit too tightly, but JJ didn't mind.
No one wanted to explain this to Reid's father. Emily, however, felt it being the least she could do. "We encountered the unsub while out in the field… we weren't expecting to find him…"
"He shot him," Riley immediately interrupted. Emily did not need to relive it. She felt no blame towards Emily whom she knew was blaming herself too much. "We did everything we could for him while we waited for the ambulance… we're still waiting on any real news."
"I'm assuming he's in surgery." JJ added.
At last, Hotch headed down the hallway. He was alone. There was blood on his dress shirt, which he attempted to hide with the jacket of his suit. His tie had been removed. All the energy was drained from him. This would not go over well with the team.
No one noticed him at first. They all sat in a trance, each thought centered on Reid.
Elle was the first to spot him. "Hotch!" she exclaimed.
Immediately everyone looked up. In a second, they were on their feet. They waited, not wanting to believe what that grave expression meant.
"How is he, Hotch?" Morgan asked.
He took a deep breath. "They did everything they could."
"No," Garcia whimpered. She covered her hand with her mouth.
"He lost a lot of blood." He struggled to get the words out. They had never seen their boss so lost and helpless. "I'm sorry, guys… he was just too weak."
The news resonated in everyone. Elle fell back into her chair in shock, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of her. Morgan's shaking arm went around Garcia, who had started crying. If he were busy comforting her, he wouldn't lose it himself. Emily's knuckles were white as she clung to the back of the nearest chair, wanting to scream. It took everything in JJ not to collapse and scream herself. Will sat down, covering his face in his hands. He had no reservations as he let himself break down, crying quietly.
The only person who hadn't gotten upset was Riley. Hotch met her eyes as she stood firm. At last she shook her head. "It's not true." She whispered.
"Riley…" Hotch hissed. He reached for her, but she pulled away.
"It's not true," She claimed again. Riley pulled herself from the group, like the truth and sadness would infect her like a plague. "You're lying, he's fine."
"I was there, Riley. I'm sorry." Hotch tried to assure her, attempting to invade her space again. "He flat lined on the way to the hospital. They pronounced him when he arrived."
"He's not dead!" Riley screamed. Tears were damming in her eyes again, but she wouldn't let herself believe. "No, he's fine, he has to be okay… he wouldn't… he wouldn't leave me." She let out a sob as her tears began to fall. "Please, Aaron! You said he would be fine! You said!"
"I'm sorry, Riley… he's gone." He explained.
Riley collapsed to her knees, "No… no…" She broke down, sobbing uncontrollably on the cold floor, unable to grasp the truth. "No, it's not true! Oh, God… I can't breathe! I can't breathe…" Her arms covered her head as she continued to scream and gasp over and over, beginning to hyperventilate.
Hotch reached down and pulled her back up, holding her close as she completely broke down. Riley's mind could not make sense of this, not even hearing her own voice as she screamed. This was not happening… this wasn't possible… Spencer was fine… he wouldn't leave her… this was a dream… this was just a dream…