By the time they left the hospital, Riley was nearly catatonic. She couldn't even manage to get into the car without Hotch's help. After such a traumatic experience, he worried about her being alone. JJ offered to let her stay at her house. At least for a few nights.
It was after midnight by the time they headed home. Hotch drove them in JJ's car, considering his was still in the parking lot at the school. Riley sat in the back seat, her head resting against the cold glass of the window. There was a steady stream of silent tears that were sliding down her cheeks. JJ's eyes were puffy and red, but had stopped crying and held her composure. She wanted to stay strong in front of the others.
Will was waiting up for them when they arrived, greeting them at the door. Hotch helped Riley out of the car and brought her to the porch. "Thank you for doing this." He whispered to JJ as Will helped the distraught woman inside.
"It's not a problem," JJ replied.
"I'll bring your car back in the morning." Hotch explained. "We'll let everyone know about the funeral as soon as possible. Rossi and I will take care of everything."
JJ wouldn't let herself get upset, even though the word 'funeral' stuck in her stomach like knife. With a nod, she and Hotch shared a quick hug. Friends were supposed to be there when you needed them most, and for the team, this was one of those times.
Hotch left and JJ hurried to her room. She got a change of clothes for Riley and headed back downstairs to the den. In here, she could have privacy from the family. Will had made up the couch with extra sheets and a pillow and was just pointing out the den's bathroom when JJ reappeared.
He took his leave and left the girls alone. She at least managed to change herself. The bloody skirt and blouse was set aside. Those would be a chore to wash out, if it were possible. The nylons were gone. A few splatters of blood were visible on her Mary Janes. They weren't so innocent anymore.
"If there's anything you need, you just come and find us," JJ explained as Riley sat down. Her hand went to her shoulder, trying to give her a comforting smile, as if her world had not just come crashing around her. "Try to get some sleep."
There was no answer as she turned and headed to the door. "Thank you, JJ," Riley muttered.
"You're welcome," she said, giving a supportive smile, trying to show everything was going to be fine. It was amazing how one could look happy while still empty inside.
She made her slow way up the stairs. Will waited for her in the master bedroom. Without a word, she went to her bureau to pull out some pajamas. "You can go to bed, you must be exhausted. I'm going to change and check on Henry, and then I'll come to bed."
"JJ…" He said. He moved closer to her, ready for her to wallow in her grief. "I know you're upset."
"No, I'm alright." She explained. "I mean… I can't let myself break down right now. Everyone's hurt… someone needs to stay the strong one. Especially for Riley."
Will gave her a small smile. "You always have to be the mother lion, don't you?"
Her pain couldn't be contained at that. The tears spilled from her. "Roar," she whimpered as she lost control, falling into her husband's arms.
…
Will Reid was the only one the doctors would speak to. He was brought away after they received the news, in order to identify the body Hotch explained. Rossi never showed up to the hospital. Kevin Lynch came in order to pick up Garcia. As for the rest, their first destination was their favorite bar.
Alcohol was not the wisest solution, but after this even they couldn't think there was a better resolution or a more comforting one. They sat, side by side in silence, drinking glass after glass of liquor, thinking of their fallen friend.
Hotch did not go home after he dropped off Riley. His first stop was his office, despite the late hour. He had a lot of work to do.
Sitting at his desk, he filled out the new paperwork. They would work out the major details in the morning, but it wouldn't hurt to at least get a jumpstart on this.
An hour after he arrived, there was a knock on Hotch's open door. He looked up, "Dave, there you are." He said.
Rossi stepped in. He looked just as exhausted as Hotch. "Drink?" He asked, opening the bottom drawer of his desk. He didn't often drink in his office, but sometimes a person needed a belt.
"Please," Rossi agreed, taking a seat.
Hotch poured out two glass of scotch, neat. He handed one to the old man and quickly took a sip from his own. It went down smooth.
"How did the team take it?" Rossi wondered.
"As I had expected. I knew it wouldn't go over well. I hated to do it, but they'll understand." Hotch took another sip and leaned back in his chair. "I trust everything went without incident on your end?"
"As good as we could hope, especially on such short notice." Rossi said, admiring the liquid in his glass. "Strauss was surprisingly helpful."
"Perhaps she has a soul after all." Hotch retorted.
"I always knew she did," Rossi added, "She just doesn't take it out of its tiny box very often."
"We have a lot of work ahead of us now." Hotch rubbed the tired from his eyes. "We'll have to put searching for Nathan on hold until after the funeral."
"I doubt he'll try anything now," agreed Rossi, "Reid's family and the team are safe for the time being."
Hotch still had his doubts. "Nathan's not stupid, Dave. He won't stay ignorant to this forever."
"I know. He'll figure it out. We just need to make sure when that happens… we catch him." He confirmed with a nod, and took another sip of his scotch.
…
The BAU returned two days later, but they had little to go on in the case. Their leads had dwindled down to nothing and, with Reid's death, it seemed Nathan had vanished. There was no point in harming those close to him now, and it seemed his family was safe. By the end of the week, everyone was parked at their desks and remained in their offices, devoted to paperwork. They spoke little to each other, and no one could bare to lay eyes on Reid's desk.
Riley remained with JJ and Will during the week. She spent most of her time on the couch, buried under the sheets. All she wanted to do was sleep.
After the longest week any of them could remember experiencing, the day of the funeral arrived. Everything had been paid for by the FBI. Hotch, Rossi, and Will Reid took care of the plans. Normally, Riley would have been offended for being left out, but she was too upset to remember she should care.
Early that morning, JJ drove Riley to the apartment so she could bathe and change. It was the last place she wanted to be right now, but she couldn't avoid her home forever. Of course now, she wasn't sure how much of a home it would be.
They walked up the stairwell. JJ had a package clutched under her arm. It felt like Riley were trying to delay this arrival as long as possible. This would be the hardest day of her life and it began as soon as she walked in that door.
At the end of the hall, they reached their place. Riley had difficulty controlling her hands in order to unlock the door. At last she let them inside the dark and the cold.
She stood in the dark until JJ flipped on the light. Her heart went out to her; a shell of a woman having lost everything, just standing in her living room. A week ago, this place had been the home of two people, madly in love and wanting to have a life together. Riley looked like she had aged twenty years in this week, giving the impression of an old war widow.
She caressed her on the back and it seemed to jar her awake. "You take your time getting ready, I'll wait out here." JJ said with comfort. "We're in no hurry."
"No," Riley replied, "I am certainly not in a hurry."
JJ offered her the package, "Hotch gave me this the other day." She explained. "It's… Spencer's belongings, the ones he had with him when he… well, Hotch told me to hang on to them, but… I thought you should have them."
Riley took it from her, the paper crinkled softly in her shaking hands. "Thank you," she managed to squeak and slowly made her way to the bedroom. Once inside, she tossed the package on the bed and immediately headed to the shower.
The water was colder than Riley was used to, but she didn't adjust it. In fact, it seemed to remind her that she was still alive and could still feel. That the emptiness was just her broken heart.
It was poetic justice, she supposed. She had been the woman to break Spencer Reid's heart half a dozen times but he always came back to her. Now he had broken her heart beyond repair. He wouldn't come back to her this time, and the most devastating part of it was there was no reason for it. There was no fight, there was no anger. They were blissfully in love… and it was just over. She had understood death since her grandmother's funeral. It made more since to a five year old little girl than a thirty-one year old woman.
After an excessive long shower, she got out and began to dress. The most suitable outfit was her long sleeved black frock. Riley hadn't worn that since her father's funeral, back when she was in med school. She slipped it on, hating how perfect it fit her. It had been the only outfit Spencer had never seen her in, but she suspected he would have liked it.
Shoes and black tights. She hated heels, but wanted to look as presentable as possible, to hide the fact that she was broken inside. Riley pulled back her clean and dried curly hair. At first, she was about to pull it into a barrette, but stopped herself. It had been the night of the first snow, when he was still her patient. They were walking back here, to his apartment, and Riley was ready to head home alone. The magician had managed to slip his business card behind her barrette… Riley would not allow herself to admit it then, but she knew. She had a spark of feelings for Spencer since he spit all over her carpet, but that moment… that was the moment she had fallen in love with him.
Gently, she lay the barrette back down. She took the extra time to fix two dozen hair pins into a bun, keeping her hair neat and immobile.
Riley was ready. She did not want to leave, she did not want to go until the very last possible moment. But JJ had waited for her long enough. The service would be starting at 1 and here it was already noon. She made to leave and noticed the package she had abandoned on the bed.
Riley reached over and picked it up. Spencer's belongings. She wasn't sure she wanted to see what was in there, but was too curious not to look. Ripping the envelope at the side, she poured out the items onto the bed.
They were fairly obvious items. His FBI badge. Riley took a moment looking over the picture. He looked so much younger, in his early twenties. His hair was so short. Riley preferred it a little longer, but he looked cute just the same. It was amazing how he had Ph.D.s and masters at that age while Riley was just starting med school, and here she was ten months older. She used to think she was hot stuff, graduating from Harvard after only two years. Spencer certainly showed her up on that.
There was his watch. It was a fact that people of high intelligence couldn't stand the feeling of jewelry on their skin, which was why Spencer always wore it over his sleeve. She set it down and found his cell phone; the battery had long since died. And something else… a small red box… a jewelry box?
What could Spencer have been doing with a jewelry box? Part of her was too afraid to open it, to find what was inside, but too much of her could not continue until she knew.
With trembling fingers, Riley carefully opened the box with a small creak on the hinge. She gasped, spotting the ring. The diamonds were small, wrapped in the silver. It was gorgeous, and considering she wasn't a fan of jewelry and even less of wearing it, that was saying something.
"Riley," JJ's voice called with a small tap on the door. "Whenever you're ready, we should leave."
"I'll just be another minute," She stammered, closing the lid. The first wave of tears of the day began to pour out. She found herself falling to her knees again, plummeting at the foot of the bed. Her cries were muffled by the fabric and her tears soaked into the sheets, her hand still clasped around the red box.