Riley was half asleep. She had no idea what time it was, but didn't care. The music had stopped in the wee hours of the morning, Riley having forgotten to put it on repeat. She didn't have the energy to go up and reset it.

The sound of the front door opening didn't register with her. There was someone here. The movement was muffled, but getting closer. Riley kept her eyes closed, wanting whoever it was to go away.

The bedroom door opened. "Riley?" she heard a voice call as the visitor walked in. Emily looked around the empty room, finally spotting the bathroom door wide open.

"Oh my God," she cried, rushing forward. Her hands searched her neck for pulse. "Riley? Riley!"

"Get off me, I'm fine," Riley moaned, shoving her wandering hand away. She rolled onto her other side, her back to Emily. "What do you want?"

"I came to check on you," Emily explained. "Why are you lying on the bathroom floor?"

"Because the kitchen floor is too far from the toilet." She snapped.

Emily didn't move, and after a moment, Riley realized she wasn't leaving. Slowly, she rolled back to face her. "I'm sorry… I don't know how I ended up in here."

Tossing her things aside, Emily adjusted herself on the floor, leaning against the wall. "The last time I sat on a bathroom floor like this, I was nursing my drunk friend at a frat party."

Riley didn't find her anecdote amusing. "I just…" she swallowed, her throat dry after twelve hours here. "I couldn't sleep in that bed… in our bed."

Emily reached over and took Riley's hand. It was freezing. As hard as it was on the team, she knew it was twice as hard for her. Riley squeezed Emily's hand tightly, afraid to let her go.

"It's understandable." Emily admitted. "You can't face the place you and Reid shared your most intimate moments in."

Riley gave a smile, opening her eyes. "That's not entirely true. If it were, I wouldn't be able to lie on this floor."

Emily groaned in a laugh. "I wish I had known that before I sat down."

Riley smiled, rolling onto her back, giving a light laugh. "We tried to have sex in the shower, but… you know, Spencer's not that strong and I'm not that limber… it wouldn't have been so bad, but the tub made it next to impossible. The more we tried, the more ridiculous it was… I slipped and fell out… Spencer joined me on the floor…" she closed her eyes, remembering, "We were laughing the entire time, we couldn't stop."

Emily thought for a moment. "Was that last May… when you had a cast on your arm and said you broke your wrist?"

Riley blushed, laughing, "Yeah… I landed on my wrist when I fell."

Emily chimed in. Their giggles filled the bathroom, echoing off the tile. But it turned sour after a moment as Riley's laughter morphed into tears.

"What am I going to do, Emily?" Riley sobbed, covering her eyes with her hand. "I miss him so much."

"I know, Rye," Emily replied, starting to cry herself. "We all miss him… we all want him back…" she took a deep breath, wiping her tears away before they could escape down her face.

"Every time I try to sleep, all I can see is the life leaving his eyes… his blood pouring over my hands. The last time I told him I love him… I was pleading for him not to die…" Riley pulled her hand away. "The last time we kissed was a peck on the lips… I should have given him a real kiss… and 'I love you' doesn't count if you call him an idiot… why didn't I tell him how much I love him?"

"It doesn't matter, Riley," Emily explained. "It doesn't matter when you last said it or how you last said it because you said it. You said it often… Reid knew you loved him. And, God, did he love you."

Riley nodded. "Did you know he was going to propose to me?"

Startled, Emily's mouth fell open. "No… I didn't. He never said anything… how do you know?"

"Hotch gave JJ his belongings and she gave them to me… with them was a ring." Her fingers wiped away the tears as Riley found a break in her sobs. "He was the only person I ever fought for."

Emily didn't understand. She wanted to ask, but wondered if she would be over stepping her boundaries. But Riley spilled into a confession; one she had kept inside for so long and had intended to take to the grave.

"I promised him. I swore I wouldn't leave this time. After only three weeks, though… I started to get scared. The same feeling I had with everyone else, in every area of life… boyfriends, friends… but I loved him and I couldn't hurt him again. I had the urge to run, the need to pick a fight over every little thing, I wanted to push him away so badly. But I fought it… for months… I fought it for him… I rode it out and denied my instincts… until finally, finally it went away. I don't even know why… I got up one morning and I came into the kitchen… He was just… standing there drinking coffee, in those blue striped pajamas I got him for his birthday… we started talking about what we planned to do that day… and I felt so calm. I wasn't scared anymore. I didn't want to ruin this. We didn't have an expiration date. And all the running and the intimacy problems and the obvious abandonment issues… who cared? I was done. I was safe. I was home. He held me… and I was home."

A new wave of tears took over, and Riley couldn't speak. She clung to Emily's hand, rolling over so as not to choke. Her hair swept around her, matted slightly from a night spent on the floor. Her tears fell into the tangled curls. "I was crazy… to think he'd never leave me."

Never releasing her hand, Emily moved from the wall. She pulled her body onto the floor next to her friend. Her other hand reached up and brushed some of her hair away in a loving fashion. Like an older sister.

"He didn't leave you, Sweetie." Emily said, stroking her hair. "He didn't want to leave you. He was taken from you."

"I know," Her eyes were clamped closed, trying to shut out the world. "I wish he had left me… it would be so much easier if I could hate him."

Riley broke down into a fit of sobs. Emily reached over, pulling her closer and cradling her in her arms, stroking her hair. Her tears fell, soaking into the fabric of Emily's shoulder

…

Surrounded by her world of wonder, Garcia still felt lost. The rest of the team had the day off. It was a gesture from Strauss. Maybe that woman had a heart after all.

She was dressed in black again today. Anyone who knew Penelope Garcia knew how much she loathed black. She loved to stand out in a crowd. But after losing someone so special to her, inside she felt hollow. She wanted to hide until the pain went away.

Nathan Harris. She remembered him. She had been with Reid when he'd saved his life. She had used her scarves to make tourniquets on his arms. She watched as Reid applied pressure to his wounds until the paramedics had arrived. Reid had tried so hard to save that young man's life. Thinking of that night sent such an ache in her stomach. It was horrible to think about, but the truth was evident. If Nathan had died that night… Reid would be with them right now. He would be alive and happy and he would have asked that girl to marry him by now. Garcia should be flipping through bridal magazines and planning a wedding shower, not searching for the whereabouts of Reid's killer.

Her fingers were busy, turning over the purple tied-dye yarn on her needles. It didn't distract her at all. The problem with knitting was, once your hands found the right rhythm, the mind wandered off. The only place hers could be was on her lost friend. How could she have said he would be alright like that? It had been an attempt to help everyone relax and have hope… but it had just made it so much more hurtful. The color of the unfinished afghan was beginning to hurt her eyes, she needed a break.

Garcia stopped her work and leaned on her hand. Nathan was still out there somewhere and he had to pay for the deaths of those girls, for Ethan and Lila, and especially Reid. The BAU would not let him go. She had offered to forfeit her leave to investigate for more leads on Nathan's position before he disappeared off the grid. Her computers were searching, and there was nothing more she could do but wait and try not to wallow in her misery.

A few tears leaked out of her eyes, falling onto her hand. That poor boy had been through so much. Reid's life had never been easy or fun. His childhood had been a traumatic struggle and adulthood didn't bring much of a change. He went through kidnappings, beatings, poisoning. And no one could begin to understand what it was like to be a genius. Even surrounded by his team and family, Reid was alone. He didn't hate the world even though he had every right to. He wasn't a cruel person, as most people would be; his struggle only made him kind. He was a good person. He wasn't vain or narcissistic, even with the incredible gifts and talents he'd been given. He was a wonderful friend and he cared about people. He devoted his life to helping the world.

Garcia was a person who believed everything happened for a reason. Yet now, she couldn't fathom how someone like Spencer Reid was lying in a grave and people like Nathan Harris were alive and well.

There was a knock on the door. Garcia quickly wiped away the tears, hoping she could fool whoever was out there. "Come in," she muttered, turning to the screens to appear busy. No witty, bubbly greeting this time.

"Hey," Kevin said, poking his head in. "Please tell me you're not busy."

Garcia looked back surprised. "I'm not busy."

Without another word, Kevin hurried into the room. He rushed to the closest computer, practically shoving his girlfriend out of the way.

"Excuse me," she moaned, "Personal space? Do those words mean anything to you?"

"I am sorry," he muttered, not looking from the screen. "But trust me, Penelope, you will thank me."

"Kevin, whatever it is, can't it wait?" she moaned, leaning back in her chair. "I really just want to be left alone."

"It definitely can wait. In fact, I'll probably get in a lot of trouble if they find out I showed you this." He continued typing, focused on the screen like he was hypnotized by it. The commands on the screen scrolled up as fast as he entered them. "But what kind of boyfriend would I be if I kept this a secret?"

Confused, and partly intrigued, Garcia sat back and let Kevin work in her space. She tried to kept patient, considering how much she disliked letting someone mess with her system. After several long minutes, his typing ceased and a new window had been opened. Garcia looked it over, recognizing it almost immediately.

"Did you just… hack into the FBI?" she wondered. "Isn't that a bit redundant?"

"This was encrypted. I was researching something for another department, and I came across this. It was very recently established and… I was a little curious. And I thought you might like to read what's inside."

"You hacked into an encrypted file? For me?" She said with a smile. "That's sweet, Honey Bunny. You're the best boyfriend ever. It better be good, though."

Kevin took a step back watching her as she read. The color in her rosy cheeks drained, leaving her pale. For a second, Kevin believed she might throw up.

"Oh God," she mumbled, her breathing now shallow. "Oh my God…" She looked back to Kevin. "Are you sure this is accurate?"

"I don't know." He said. "But I don't think they would have encrypted a file if this were just a diversion."

Garcia could barely exhale. She needed proof, and she would search through every bit of the FBI system until she found it.

Suddenly, the door opened again. Garcia jumped to her feet nervously. She and Kevin spotted Agent Hotchner walking in. "Kevin," he muttered. "Is there a reason why you're here?"

"No, sir," Kevin replied quickly. "I mean… nothing important… I just came to check on Penelope."

"Really?" Hotch asked. "Then how come I just received word that a computer file I asked to have tabs kept on was just reported opened. Twice. Within the last hour."

"Kevin just wanted to show me, sir." Garcia urged.

"That wasn't his business to show anyone." Hotch was quiet. He wanted to yell, but needed to keep his voice down so as to keep this private.

Garcia didn't care how much trouble they were in. She had to know, and would take whatever consequence that came after. The burning agony for the truth was too much to ignore. "Sir… this file… is it correct? Is this true?"

Hotch didn't give an answer. He folded his arms sternly, fixing them both with a piercing stare. "I suggest you seal the file again and both of you get back to work. You're just lucky I'm not going to report this to Strauss."

"But, sir…" Garcia urged, trying to keep from crying. "Is it true?"

Hotch debated the answer, but there was no denying it now. He let out a relenting sigh and gave a nod with a whispered "Yes, it's true."

Garcia burst into tears. Kevin took her in his arms as her sobs mixed with joyful laughter.

"Garcia, listen to me. Both of you." Hotch explained. "This has to be kept confidential. Neither of you can breathe a word of this to anyone, even to the team."

"How long until-"

"The team will be informed very soon, probably tonight. We're just waiting on the security clearance. I'll explain what's going on once everyone knows, but until then… don't say a word."

"We won't, sir. We promise." Kevin assured. Garcia started crying again, tears of glee running down her face. Hotch said nothing else as he took his leave.