Emily took a long swig of her morning coffee, needing to wake up. She hadn't gotten much rest this week. Every night with Riley was like a morbid sleep over. She was almost always sleeping, but often woke up screaming or crying from nightmares. It was only temporary, though. Emily just hoped Riley could get over this once she knew the truth.
Unfortunately, they were no closer to catching Nathan Harris. In fact, the investigation was almost at a stand still. There was no sign of him anywhere, but until they caught him or had proof he'd left the area, Reid had to remain in hiding until he was well enough to go home.
The only good thing about all this was it kept her mind off personal things, and away from the awkward conversation she wanted to avoid forever.
As she refilled her cup, Morgan walked into the break room. "Morning, Prentiss," he said, grabbing his own drink. "How you doing?"
It was strange. He had been acting like nothing had happened. Maybe that was a sign to leave well enough alone. They could move on and once Reid was back to work, things would go back to normal. Emily wanted to ignore it, but the more she tried, the more it tormented her.
"Morgan…" she muttered, checking around to make sure no one was in earshot. "Don't you think we should talk?"
"No," Morgan replied. "Why, do you?"
"Yes!" She hissed. "We need to discuss what happened between us."
Morgan lowered his voice. "Prentiss… there's nothing to discuss. Nobody knows about it and it didn't mean anything. It's like it never happened." His words were stern, but he gave her a grin.
She gave a small smile. "Okay," she agreed.
"You worry too much, Princess," He jeered. Coffee in hand, he headed to his desk.
But her initial comfort over this faded instantly. Her mind replayed his words. It didn't mean anything… it's like it never happened. Did he think of her as nothing more than another sexual victory? That she was no different than those floozies he flirted with at the bar? Maybe they had been in mourning that night, but it was more than just comfort… it was tender and intimate and caring… not just casual sex.
This wasn't the first time something like this meant more to her than the guy, but it was the first time it actually bothered her. It could be because they were friends and co-workers. That sounded logical… but something about the painful burn in her stomach told her it wasn't likely.
"Emily?" JJ said, trying to get her attention. Startled, she came out of her thoughts and met her questioning glance. "Garcia's here now. We're getting started."
Nodding, Emily followed JJ into conference room where the rest were gathering.
…
"…You stay awake! Do you hear me, you stay awake…" Riley's hand pressed desperately on his chest. His breath was shallow and painful… it felt like she were sinking in water, watching the blood gush out uncontrollably…
The words washed around her. "…Please don't leave me… I love you… please don't die…"
Riley awoke with a jolt before she slipped under, the water splashing around her. It had just been another nightmare. She had fallen asleep while taking a bath. It couldn't be helped. She was just so tired. She couldn't even find the energy to do anything, she practically had to force herself to eat and bathe. She hadn't left the apartment since she got back from the funeral. Emily's visits and Aaron's daily phone calls were her only connection to the outside world.
The water had turned cold. Most of her hair was underwater, swirling around her like raven seaweed. Her skin was considerably pruned now. She tried to get herself to sit up a bit. Her knees popped to the surface like little peaks, her legs disappearing under the water. Spencer had loved her legs. His long fingers always touching and caressing them… she missed the feel of those fingers.
Finding what little strength she had, Riley pulled her tired body from the water before she could fall asleep again. She wrapped herself in a clean towel; it smelled like the fabric softener Spencer liked. If she ever managed to find the energy to do laundry, first thing was to change the softener.
She went into her bedroom. The rest of the apartment was a mess, finding little spirit or reason to clean. But the bedroom remained at a standstill, as if time stopped at the door, keeping it a shrine to the life they shared. With the exception of the items on the quilt and the red jewelry box under the bed, it looked exactly as they had left it when leaving for work on Monday. The last time they were happy.
Once she was dry, Riley's destination was the hamper. It was almost full, mostly with Spencer's clothes. Another aspect that made him seem so unreal, he almost always picked up after himself. In fact, Riley was the messy one in this relationship, most of her clothes were piled in the bathroom. If she could ever manage to function like a normal human again, she would have to get back in the habit of reminding herself to tidy up regularly.
But that was later. Riley dug through the dirty clothes in the hamper, trying to decide. There was the dress shirt he wore the day before they left for Vegas. She held it to her face, inhaling his scent. Coffee mixed with Old Spice and something else unique only to him. Something that made him Spencer. Her Spencer.
A few tears leaked out onto the fabric. She pulled the shirt onto her chilled body, buttoning it slowly. It was a bit tight with the cuffs hanging passed her palms. A bit awkward for her body, but perfect for his gangly form. Closing the hamper, she headed out of the bedroom, closing the door as if to keep time from infecting it.
Riley made it back to the living room, messy from empty food containers and dirty dishes. If not for Emily looking out for her, she wouldn't have eaten at all this last week. She owed her, but she'd worry about that when the agony settled in her stomach finally went away… if ever. Riley crawled back under the covers set up on the couch, flipping on the television to avoid the silence. The smell of the shirt surrounded her and she tried to convince herself he was holding her again. Her quiet tears dripped onto the pillow as she went into an uneasy sleep.
…
Maybe he was just bored, but Reid was more than willing to do some work during his recuperation. Morgan and Rossi arrived with new information on the case. Reid could assess victimology faster than anyone, even with a bullet wound in his chest. The men watched as he eagerly flipped through the pages, like a child enjoying a picture book. His eyes moved swiftly behind his thick glasses. He was healing nicely, with much more color in his face and a lot more energy. The doctors didn't believe he'd need to spend longer than a couple more days here.
"So the new victims were found in a motel room off Capital Hill last night." He repeated. "Cause of death is a stab wound in the stomach."
"Both bodies had stab and slice wounds." Morgan continued. "Harris mutilated them with a knife, just like the other girls."
"Knives," Reid corrected. "According to the coroner report, the wounds vary from jagged to smooth and of different lengths."
"Makes sense he'd bring several different weapons. If murder is sex then the torture is foreplay. The more exciting it is and the longer he drags it out, the better the release."
"Which means this may not be enough for him soon." Reid realized as he leaned back on his pillow. "He kills the prostitutes because they're easy access. That enjoyment will wear off and when that happens, he'll have to graduate to a new MO, something more difficult to attain."
Morgan thought this news over carefully. "Okay, so right now, the only constant is the cause of death."
Reid agreed, continuing. "Nathan's style is all over the place. He varies in time frame, areas, ages, race, he's not even consistent in the number of deaths. He's gone from one to four deaths a night. This is the first time he's killed two girls in the same room."
"So you don't think there's any discernible pattern?" Rossi asked.
Reid held up a finger, continuing his read through the files. "I didn't say that. He can't be choosing his women at random. Nathan's not a psychopath. There has to be something that stands out about each girl. Something personal to him."
"If we can find that connection, we may be able to figure out where he's going to strike next." Morgan thought. "What I can't figure out is why he's still in DC. He could go to any major city in the world, why stay in the place he knows he's being hunted?"
"Nathan wouldn't leave lightly. He's spent most of his life in DC, this is his home. He's wants to kill in his comfort zone." Rossi explained.
Remaining alone most of the day gave Reid plenty of time to think. He had not only already considered that, but dismissed it. "That's not his reason for staying. If he truly believed in this purpose, he would have found a way to leave by now. We've seen it before. I think Nathan wants to get caught. He hates himself that he has to kill, but there's nothing he can do to stop it. The urges are too strong now to even consider suicide. He knows we're searching for him and he will fight to the death when we come for him."
"Hotch thought of that a few days ago." Rossi concluded. "After he and Riley spoke to Winslow at Havensall."
Reid's mind suddenly felt foggy. The conversation faded around him as he leaned back on his pillow. He'd been trying not to think about Riley much. It twisted him with guilt. She still thought he was dead; she believed she was never going to see him again. He could only imagine how miserable she must be. Not to mention the obvious fact that Reid missed her. This was the most time they'd spent apart in a year. All he wanted to do was to be held by her again, to feel her fingers stroking his hair as he fell asleep in her arms while listening to the sound of her heart beating. Reading The Shining each night before going to sleep was not enough, which he had Emily swipe from the apartment without Riley knowing.
"Reid?" Morgan sensed his attention drifting. "You still with us?"
"Yes," he exclaimed, snatching back the file, continuing his search. The sooner this case was solved, the sooner he could get on with his life. A few weeks ago, they had a daily routine, they were in love, and they were happy. It could take ages before they got back to normal, before she trusted him again. The hope of getting married may be non-existent for a long time.
"Hey, guys," Reid asked, looking up. He just realized something. "Do you know what they did with my stuff… after I was injured and they changed my clothes?"
Rossi thought for a moment. "I'm not sure… but I'll ask Hotch. I wouldn't worry, though, it's nothing that can't be replaced."
"No, I wouldn't necessarily say that." Reid moaned.
Morgan understood, rolling his eyes. "Seriously, Reid?"
"Well how was I supposed to know I'd be shot that day?" He exclaimed.
"What is it?" Rossi wondered.
Morgan replied, "Pretty Boy had an engagement ring in his pocket. He's been trying to work up the courage to pop the question." He glanced over at Reid. "Oh, would you relax; he's not going to tell her."
Amused, Rossi shook his head. "I'm sure Hotch has it. Don't worry, we'll find it. You'll be married and starting to feel trapped before you know it."
"Thank you, sir, but that's not going to happen." Reid declared with certainty.
"I know," he muttered. "You and Riley are different. You're both incredibly smart, rational people. Both of which understand how serious and demanding marriage is, neither of which would consider entering it lightly. There's no guarantee it'll last, but I'd say the odds are in your favor."
"Wow, Dave," Morgan muttered, folding his arms. "I didn't expect you to be such an idealist with three ex-wives."
"Hey, if I were as smart as Reid, I probably wouldn't have one ex-wife, let alone three. I was ignorant in my youth." He explained.
"Everyone's an idiot when they're young." Morgan added. "Every kid thinks it's true love."
That sent Reid's mind into gear. Marriage, young… and love made a person do crazy and stupid things, especially when that love was unrequited. Reid had been the personification of that.
"Sandy." Reid exclaimed. "That's it!"
Confused, Rossi and Morgan glanced at each other, waiting for the forthcoming explanation.
"Sandy Lowell was Nathan's girlfriend. According to Hotch's report," He quickly flipped through the papers for proof. "Winslow said Nathan was certain he was going to marry her. Now, the day they broke up, Nathan may not have proposed, but something may have come up that made them evaluate their future. Sandy doesn't reciprocate his feelings and it leads to a break up."
"We already determined Sandy's the trigger, Reid." Morgan explained.
"Yes, and because she's the trigger, she's the connection. He chooses his victims based on something that reminds him of Sandy… we just need to figure out what it is."
"Are we sure it's the same thing every time?" Morgan clarified.
"As Reid said, Nathan's not a psychopath." Rossi replied. "One thing sets him off every time. One thing that stands out about that last day."
"But Sandy's dead… how are we supposed to know what happened that day?" Morgan wondered.
Reid leaned back on his pillow. He didn't have an answer to that.