Chapter 8: Beginning of the Countdown

O'Malley and Lopez standing on a base in a cold desolate-looking place

O'Malley: (evil laughter) Well, my metallic friend, your modifications are complete. And my plan is coming to frution. Frusi- Fru-Frutition. Fr-

Lopez: Fruición[Fruition.]

O'Malley: Oh, shut up.

Lopez: Sí, Maestro. Su plan es infalible. *Yes Master. Your plan is foolproof.*

O'Malley: Now to bring together my enemies.

Vic's control panel, with the words 'OUT OF AREA' flashing in red

Vic: Oh dude, come on, you gotta be kidding me.

Vic's answering machine: Hey dude, it's Vic. No solo mia, not in the casa right now, so leave a message and I'll call you back. Just leave your what's up at the yo...yo.

O'Malley: Vic, pick up, it's me, (evil laughter).

Vic: Oh hey, Doctor Baron von Evil Satan, what's up dude?

O'Malley: Don't screen my calls, Vic.

Vic: Dude, you don't come up on caller ID I'm not just gonna answer anything-

O'Malley: Caller ID? I'm in hiding you baffoon! I'm trying to take over the universe! (evil laughter)

Doc: We're also on the Do Not Call List.

O'Malley: Oh, shut up.

Vic: So how's that plot going dude.

O'Malley: Magnificent! (evil laughter) I've called my bounty hunter in. He'll take care of your little 'red and blue' problem post-haste (evil laughter).

Vic: Oh cool! Thanks for turning that around so quick, dude.

O'Malley: (laugh continues) Ha.

Vic: I know you're swamped.

O'Malley: Then the universe will be mine and I'll crush every living soul in to dust, hahaha! Except or you of course Vic. I'll make you Assistant Crusher.

Vic: Okay, dude. Looking forward to that.

Sarge, Simmons and Caboose along with Jigen n Goemon in their janitor closet

Simmons: And that brought you back here. So, theoretically one of these teleporters should transport us back to Blood Gulch, or anywhere else that we want to go. Do you understand?

Caboose: Yes. No. What does thermoretically mean?

Simmons: I probably could have saved a lot of time by telling you these things worked by magic.

Caboose: I thought you told the story well. I liked all the parts with me in them.

Sarge: Any idea which ones go where?

Jigen: as if we have no idea where the others could be..

Goemon: yeah where exactly could Grif and church actually be...

Sarge: well for all we know that the other teleport is not to take us somewhere else to an alien planet or some type of crazy dimension..

Jigen: and that's something that we should be more concerned of..

Simmons: well I try my best to figure out some solution on pinpointing where Grif and church are especially Lupin...

Goemon: sorry because I got the bad feeling something's about to happen..

Caboose: We should definitely take the green one.

Simmons: Okay, be quiet now.

Sarge: We've gotta find a way to contact them.

Vic: (over the radio) Come in Sargeant Dude. Hello, Sergeant Dude, are you there.

Sarge: Vic?

Vic: Got some big news for you dude.

Cut to Tex in Blood Gulch, talking with Tucker who is miraculously standing upright again. We'll tell Caboose it was magic.

Tex: Bad news Tucker. I just picked up a feed. You've been tagged.

Tucker: Tagged? That sounds bad. Unless it means something sexual, does it mean something sexual?

Tex: It means something bad.

Tucker: Oh, yeah like that's a surprise.

Tex: Someone's hired a Freelancer to take you out. Do you have any idea why?

Tucker: I can't say.

Tex: Keeping secrets? I find that attractive.

Tucker: You do!?

Tex: In attractive people, yeah.

Donut: Do you know who's after him?

Tex: This guy I know from training. Name's Wyoming.

Tucker: (laughs) Finally a name dumber than Donut!

Donut: Hey! ...Yeah, okay.

Tex: Everybody in the division was paired with an A.I., and codenamed for a State.

Donut: What was your codename, Tex?

Tex:(Sarcastic) Nevada.

Tucker: One for each State? So there's fifty of you.

Tex: Forty-nine, remember?

Tucker: Oh, yeah, that's right. Man. Poor Florida.

They bow their heads in rememberance of Florida.

Tucker: Okay, anyway.

They bow their heads in rememberance of Florida.

Tucker: Okay, anyway.

Tex: Well I'll make you a deal. I still owe you one. So if I take care of Wyoming, we're square. Deal?

Tucker: You realize that you wanna protect me from a guy who's trying to kill me. What'm I gonna say, no?

Tex: I'll take that as a yes.

back to the janitor closet.

Sarge: Eureka's hammer, I've got it! I put a listening device in one of the suits of armor I built. We can use that to find out where they are.

Simmons: But which one, Sarge? Isn't one a huge bomb?

Sarge: Heheheh. Yeah, I wouldn't turn that on. Or maybe I should. That we could follow the enormous explosion and huge plumes of smoke, directly to them. It'd be just like a homing device. But Indian style.

Simmons: I assume what you mean, sir, is directly to the crater that they left.

Sarge: Though crudely delivered I see your point. Let's go with the listening device.

Simmons: Great idea, sir.

Sarge: Yes, it was.

Caboose: Can I push the button to make it go? Please?

Sarge: (holding up the button) Okay Caboose, but just this once.

Jigen: are you sure it's a good idea for him to have that.. I think we should have it to locate our allies..

Goemon: yes it seems that does make the perfect logical sense..

Caboose: Yay! Thanks.

Caboose hits the button

Sarge: (laughs) What a little rascal.

Caboose: (returning to Simmons' side) I pushed the button.

Simmons: Stay away from him, he's mine.

Voice: Man, I hate this. This sucks.

Caboose: It's Church!

Voice: I just wanna lay around and do nothing.

Sarge: I think it's Grif!

Voice: Right after I take this nice, warm, bubble-bath.

Simmons and Sarge: Donut.

Simmons: (making for a teleporter) Let me see if I can lock on to that signal, Sarge. Okay, got it, go ahead.

Sarge: Come in, Donut, come in. Donut, do you read me? Come in.

Donut: Sarge, you gotta help me! You left me with one blue, but now there are three!

Sarge: Vic was right, it was a trap all along! Listen, Donut. Vic told me all about the blue plot. That fella Tucker is gonna make up things, craaazy things about Red and Blue. You can't listen to him, you just can't!

Donut: Sarge, what should I do?

Sarge: Don't let him catch on that you know. Just act like you normally do; wait, not like you, act like someone more brave. 'N smarter. 'N more masculine, for God's sake.

Donut: Okey-dokey Sarge.

Sarge: He's a dead man, Simmons.

Simmons: It's okay Sir, I thought that you two were getting too close anyway, and that's not good for the chain of command.

Sarge: Try to open a teleporter to them. I'll see if I can locate the other armor.

Caboose raises up the button for Church's armor

Caboose: Yeah! More button pushing!

Simmons: Caboose don't touch that!

Caboose: This is the button to find Church! (presses the button)

Sarge: Uh oh. That's not gonna be good.

Jigen: and I knew that this was going to happen..

Simmons: you're right about that but I'm not even sure what exactly he did..

Goemon: Yeah realizing that he's a complete dimwit actually not realizing what you just gave him..

Caboose: Church is going to be so happy with me!

Church and Grif along with Lupin and Zenigata in jail.

Church: (impressive belch)

Lupin: well talk about that is the most longest burp ever talk about a good achievement..

Church: yeah I don't know why I burped that much..

Grif: Nice. I bet I can beat it.

Church's stomach starts ticking metallically

Church: Uhgow, I wonder what caused that.

Grif: Hey Church, do you know your stomach is ticking?

Lupin: yeah cuz it sounds like..

Lupin eyes wide and what he realizing that ticking sound is an actual countdown bomb.

Lupin: oh no..

Zenigata: oh no what..?

Lupin came close to Zenigata and started whispering behind Grif Church.

Lupin: *can you not hear that ticking noise that's coming within Church..*

Zenigata: *yeah what about it might sound like some type of alarm clock inside of his body, because I have the most the weirdest thing I've ever seen..*

Lupin facepalmed at Zenigata.

Lupin: *the ticking noise of an alarm clock, that ticking noise that goes zero boom..*

Zenigata: *hold on you're saying he is a bomb inside of him..*

Lupin: *oh yeah I forgot to mention that body if it isn't actually real it's actually a robot body..*

Zenigata: *what the hell is even going on..*

Church: hey what are you two talking about..?

Lupin: nothing..

To Be Continued...