Star-san holds no rights to Rurouni Kenshin. She cannot afford such a thing.
Of False Hopes and Useless Dreams:
Usui was awakened by cheerful voices outside his room, and for an instant, fear swept over him until he remembered that he could not see. He rebuked himself for forgetting such a thing.
He had been blind for over ten years now. And yet, his frozen heart still hoped. He frowned, annoyed with himself. What use do I have for useless hopes? The door slid open, and Usui lifted his head toward the source.
"Ohayo Usui-jisan!" a pleasant voice greeted as Usui heard the footsteps approach him and laid a tray before him. "Soujiro-niichan apologizes for not doing his usual rounds. He's very busy at the moment."
Usui nodded, "Battousai's in Kyoto." A warm bowl of rice and chopsticks were placed in his hands, a reminder of how impaired he was. He only sensed things that were in movement, but inanimate objects were so much harder for him to detect.
"I hate Battousai!" the girl said defiantly, her face in a pout.
Usui chuckled, "Why such animosity?"
"He's threatening the unity of family!" she declared. "Chou-jisan's in jail already. What am I suppose to do without all of you? I don't want to go back to the streets."
But before Usui could comment about how all good things are bound to end, Yumi shouted, "Aiteru!"
"Gomen, I must quickly go. Ja ne, ojisan!" she said cheerfully as she jumped to her feet. She ran out the door, and as she slid it closed, he heard Kamatari through the screen.
"Why so sad?" Aiteru inquired, her voice sobered.
Kamatari shook his head, "Nothing."
"It's the Shishio and Yumi-kaasan thing, ne?" Aiteru said quietly.
"I should be the one in charge of the household. I can do so much more than that good for nothing geisha!" Kamatari shouted, then another sigh escaped him. "Is it wrong for me to dream? Is it wrong for me to hope that I could mean something important to Shishio-sama?"
"Maa, maa. We all have our own dreams," then Aiteru's heart raced. "I hope to win Soujiro's heart someday, but yet he hardly ever notices me. And I still hope. I still dream."
Kamatari chuckled, "At least you have a chance, you're-"
"Mu!" Aiteru remarked. "That's not the point! We are all entitled to our own dreams and hopes. What's wrong is not hoping. What's the point of life if we're not trying to accomplish something we want? With life, there is opportunity. To give up is to be weak," Aiteru winked, "it shows how you do not have the courage, the determination, and the strength to work for something you want."
"Aiteru?!" Yumi called again.
"Oops! Gomen, Aunty Kamatari. I better go!"
Usui was silent as he placed the bowl next to him and laid the chopsticks over it. Wrong not to hope? Should he hope to see once again? To place the smirking mummified man's head on a stake?
"Gomen Yumi-kaasan!" Aiteru's voiced drifted by.
Usui frowned. How could such an innocent child consider the Juppon Gatana to be her family? How could she love that smiling idiot of Shishio's? Usui certainly held respect for that boy, a true prodigy of such unparalleled technique. But smiling Soujiro is nothing but an extension of that smirking Shishio himself. A pathetic soldier that had no mind of his own. As far as Usui was concerned, Soujiro was just a younger version of his nemesis, someone who had no goals in life… no purpose.
Usui paused. Did he have a goal? Does his life have a purpose? He once fought for the Bakamatsu, but now…
Usui returned to his breakfast. A powerful flame now resided in his long dead heart. As soon as this Battousai shit was over with, he promised himself, I will destroy Makoto Shishio. A cruel smile spread over his face, Shishio's death is one dream, that isn't so unreachable…
Author's Note:
1) Forgive me for my atrocious Japanese. [Jiisan/ojiisan is meant to be uncle. Whether it is right or wrong, I have no idea. It is meant as a setting tool.]
2) Soujiro fans, forgive me. But alas, that is the truth of the little kawaii assassin.
3) 'My' Usui likes to wallow in self-pity, hence the fact he likes to gloat to prove to himself his worth. *shrugs* Just my philosophy. Anyway, it'll make more sense in the next chapter… *evil snicker* Usui's death!
Please review! This is a nervous venture for me! I'm completely open to criticism, suggestions, corrections, ideas for improvement, etc. Thank you for reading!
To Previous Reviewers: [You don't know how much your reviews meant to pathetic me!]
C M Howell: I'll do the puppy eyes again if you'll review again! ^_~ Currently, I want to make the majority of the fic about Usui's revenge, but I'm not sure how to end since I like Shishio a lot too. Until a phenomenal revelation comes to me, it's gonna be roughly like that. Sort of the flip-side of the whole victim of some-guy's-insane-revenge-plot that Kenshin's so used to huh?
Crystal: I'll try to make Usui all conceited like Saito. *sighs* I'm such a romantic (not the mushy-mush kind!) fool. Why must I try to see the good in all?! Anyway, Usui's really neglected, but not as much as the bald old guy, who controlled 'Mr. Big Giant', whose names (both of them) I cannot seem to recall. Lol, you can ignore half the things I say. I hope you'll like what I do with this fic in reflection of the poem! Thanks SO much for reading!