Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to the goddesses: JKR or Charlotte Bronte. This plot belongs to me.
Chapter 11: Old Wounds and New
In all his years as a Death Eater and, later on, as a spy for Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape had experienced more than his fair share of dire situations. He knew very well what it felt like to arrive somewhere an instant too late and discover that someone had suffered terribly because of it.
He remembered several instances when he had received information about Death Eater activity and had disapparated to investigate…only to find…death, destruction and the accursed Dark Mark floating high in the sky. It still felt as if those deaths were on his conscience and he often acknowledged, after a few glasses of Ogdens, that he was to blame…the responsibility was solely his own. Sometimes he had felt that living with such guilt was hardly a life at all…but he had always found a reason to continue…even when he dared not admit it to himself.
Now, racing on horseback, trying to save her life…he felt himself going back in time…a sense of déja vu that did not sit well with him. The past held many memories that were not pleasant.
Straining to keep his focus and his composure, Severus urged the horse onwards, ignoring the flecks of foam that clearly indicated that he was driving it too hard.
"I am not going to let it happen again," he thought to himself, fighting down the boiling nausea in his stomach. "I will not lose her."
*************Flashback***************
Severus Snape shuddered as he approached the house; the Dark Mark was clearly visible…mocking him for being too late…again. He thought that it was over…that, with the apparent defeat of the Dark Lord, everyone was safe.
He was wrong.
He already knew what he would find inside…and it still terrified him. One never became accustomed to the vacant stare of the dead…the handiwork of an Avada Kedavra curse. He was glad that it still bothered him…that the bile still rose to his throat…it meant he still retained some shred of humanity…that he was not like them.
The thought did not please him overly much.
Stepping into the house, he noticed that it was quiet…and the house had not been damaged. That was odd. Very odd.
"Perhaps they did not have enough time to do the job properly," he thought scathingly. "Bastards."
Wand out, he walked through a door that was barely hanging on its hinges.
"Lumos," he whispered as the tip of his wand began to glow.
He walked through the short corridor to the parlour, warily looking in all directions as if he expected to be cursed into extinction at any moment. Everything seemed almost…well, normal. Except Severus knew there was little possibility of that.
Turning to enter the parlour, he nearly dropped his wand in shock.
"Frank?" He gasped, running over to the man, who was clearly still alive. Severus, his heart in his throat, helped the shaking Auror onto the sofa.
"Frank? What happened? Who did this to you?" Severus could not believe that whoever it was had not killed the man. Frank Longbottom was a well-known and popular Auror, responsible for putting many Death Eaters in Azkaban.
Conjuring a glass of water, Severus tried to get the man to drink. It was very difficult…almost as if he had forgotten how to drink from a glass.
"Frank? Are you all right? Where is your wife? Where is your son?" Severus looked into Frank's eyes and…saw…nothing.
"Gods…no!" Severus exclaimed hoarsely. Pulling out a Revitalizing Potion, he quickly forced it down the man's throat.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No spark of recognition…only chaotic oblivion in those eyes.
Frank Longbottom, Auror, husband and father…one of the few Aurors who had truly believed in him…was worse than dead and beyond any help.
Feeling numb, Severus settled Frank on the sofa and then began to search the rest of the house. Frank's wife was in the kitchen, sitting on the floor, in front of the sink…rocking back and forth silently. When Severus looked into her eyes…he saw the same void that he saw in Frank's.
"Where is the boy?" Severus wondered in a sudden panic. It would not have been beyond the Death Eaters to have killed the lad in front of his parents.
He hurried up the stairs to the bedrooms. The larger one was empty but the smaller one was not.
Severus walked into the little bedroom and approached the bed quietly. A child was lying, curled up in his blankets, arms around a small Puffskein who was cooing softly into his ear. There were wards around the bed…silencing wards.
"Always thinking ahead, Frank," Severus whispered as he removed them.
For a moment, he feared the worst but, as he got closer, he saw the steady rise and fall of the boy's chest. Feeling uncomfortable, he maneuvered the boy into his arms, the Puffskein protesting slightly.
"Neville? Wake up, Neville," Severus called awkwardly…he did not feel particularly comfortable around children.
The little round-faced boy yawned, rubbed at his eyes with his chubby hands and then looked up at him sleepily. When he noticed who was holding him, he began to scream at the top of his lungs. Severus tried to calm him but the child would not stop…crying and screaming and struggling to get away from him.
"Well…it would appear that you have not been harmed," he said to the bawling boy. Despite his exasperation with having his eardrums sorely tested, he was relieved that the little one had been spared. The Death Eaters had been too intent on other matters to consider him. Being overlooked wasn't always a bad thing, it would appear.
"Mama! Mama! Wan' Mama!" Neville cried, his face blotchy with tears.
Merlin's teeth.
Muttering a sleeping spell quickly, Severus waited until Neville was completely still before disapparating to the gates of Hogwarts. He didn't know where else to go but he knew that Poppy and Neville's mother were good friends.
Yes, she would know what to do.
After bringing the sleeping boy to the infirmary and the requisite debriefing with the Headmaster, Severus staggered into his chambers and let loose the anguish he had kept inside since he saw that Frank Longbottom was no longer the man he knew.
And the dungeons shuddered with the sound of his guilt and his sense of loss.
Once again…he had been too late…
***************End of Flashback***************
Severus shook his head to clear away the memories. He had been so awful to the boy when he arrived at Hogwarts. His own guilt and years of pent-up bitterness just seemed to burst out of him each time Neville made a cauldron explode. In his heart of hearts, Severus knew that he should have shown more compassion and understanding…living with Neville's grandmother could not have been easy…but he was human and he treated Neville rather cruelly. It had taken years for him to realize what he was doing to himself and to the others around him…and a couple of years more to realize why he had stopped.
"Oh, Hermione…I should have had the courage to tell you," he thought miserably. "If anything were to happen to you…"
Gritting his teeth, Severus raced towards the mansion, not caring if the horse would drop dead from exhaustion. Not caring about anything except getting to her in time.
Reining the tired animal to a stop, Severus dismounted quickly and it automatically hobbled over to the stables. Clenching his wand tightly in his right hand, he approached the building cautiously. Nothing seemed amiss and there was no sign of anything magical. Still, one could never be too careful and so Severus walked up to the main entrance with trepidation.
Pushing the door open, he stepped inside and looked around quickly. Nothing except furniture and paintings. Very expensive and not to Severus' taste at all. Far too gaudy.
And then he noticed all the candles that were burning…the smell of perfumed wax filled the air and almost made him feel sick to his stomach. Too heavy…pungent…like cheap perfume…almost choking.
"I see you have arrived," a drawling voice made him look down the corridor. He could vaguely make out the tall form of a woman.
"Miss Ingram?" He called boldly. "I believe you have something of great value to me."
"Come into the parlour, sir," the form disappeared into a room. Keeping his wand ready, Severus followed.
Blanche Ingram was a striking woman. Pale, smooth skin with dark hair and intense eyes. She was tall and proportioned well. But, when Severus looked into her eyes, he was suddenly reminded of Narcissa Malfoy…cold, calculating and cruel. This was a not a person to be trifled with or trusted.
"Are you afraid of me?" She asked, a mocking lilt in her voice.
"I have encountered many Dark Wizards and Witches, Miss Ingram. You are not the worst I have had the misfortune to meet," he replied dismissively.
A brief expression of rage crossed the woman's face. "You are too late, you know. I have given her to St. John."
"She was not yours to give," Severus hissed.
"And was she yours?" Blanche looked at him archly, daring him to acknowledge the truth of his feelings.
"You know I am not Edward. Just as you know that she is not Jane. Have you told your little friend this piece of news?"
"And spoil the fun? Don't be absurd. If it suits my purpose to conceal information then I do so," Blanche pulled a wand out of her sleeve.
"You do realize, Miss Ingram, that I cannot allow you to keep her?" Severus asked, wand pointed directly at her.
"And you realize, sir, that I will not allow anyone but myself to have you and your lovely fortune," she replied archly.
"I am flattered you think so highly of me, Miss Ingram," Severus smirked without humour.
"Do not think that you are so powerful, sir. I can easily ensnare your senses and bewitch your mind to believe anything I want you to believe."
A cold shudder went up his spine. What was she talking about?
She whispered something and a frigid blue mist filled the room. It cleared in an instant and Severus, feeling somewhat dizzy, was stunned to see that Blanche had disappeared and, standing in one corner, was…
"Hermione? Is…is that really you?" Severus put his wand down just a little…wishing his mind would clear.
Hermione began to cry uncontrollably and rushed to him, embracing him tightly. "At last…you found me."
Severus, feeling confused, put one arm around her shoulders…something was not right. Was it really her?
"She was awful…terrible…and St. John…a brute of a man," she sobbed into his chest. "I missed you so much."
She looked up at him and he saw the fear in her eyes…the tears staining her cheeks.
"It's all right now…I'll never leave you again…I promise," he leaned towards her and kissed her deeply on the lips. She responded immediately, pressing herself against him…arms around his neck…fingers playing with his hair.
Severus closed his eyes and moved his hand over her arm…tracing teasingly down to the wrist…and back up again, pulling at her sleeve to touch the skin beneath. She shivered…and sighed into his mouth.
With a quick movement, Severus pushed her away from him.
"What…what did I do wrong?" She asked, her hair slightly disheveled and her lips swollen.
"There is no wound," he said, wiping his mouth in disgust and pointing his wand at her arm.
"What…what are you talking about?"
"The wound…from being bled…a crude incision made by an even cruder instrument. I did not heal it magically as I did not wish to rouse any suspicions among the staff. It was a clever idea, Miss Ingram…but you are not as intelligent as you might have thought," Severus smirked as Hermione vanished, leaving a very irate Blanche in her place.
"Worthless bastard!" She hissed as she pulled her arm out of his grasp.
"I have been called worse, Miss Ingram."
"You will not have Jane!" A voice from behind him forced Severus to take his eyes off Blanche. St. John was standing there with what Severus recognized to be a pistol in his hand.
"Fool of a man!" Severus summoned the pistol and quickly transfigured it into a hair comb. St. John seemed beside himself with fury.
He then heard a curse and felt himself flying across the parlour and crashing into the wall. Dazed with pain and tasting blood in his mouth, Severus raised his wand and launched a jelly legs curse at the hysterical witch. She easily deflected it with a shielding spell. She then launched a fireball at him, which he doused with a water charm. He managed to crawl behind a table and considered his options.
Blanche did no such thing and started launching curse after curse. The very air in the room was alight with the sparkling trails of dark magic. Out of the corner of his eye, Severus could see St. John cringing in fear.
"I will kill you for spurning me…delight in your screams of pain as I send you into the hereafter!" She screamed as she launched another curse at him.
Bruised and bleeding, Severus decided he had to take matters into his own hands.
"Obliviate!" He yelled, aiming the spell at her. It hit and she crumpled to the ground. Clearly, she had not been expecting that. Shakily and with a great deal of discomfort, Severus got up from behind the table and made his way to the fallen form of the witch. She was unconscious but, aside from a few scrapes and bruises, was unharmed.
"You have caused far too much trouble, Miss Ingram. I am sending you to the stables under a Memory Charm…you will forget that any of this happened," he whispered, waving his wand and making her disappear.
He was about to look for Hermione when he felt a searing pain in his side. Gasping, he turned to face St. John who was grinning manically. Looking down, he realized that he had been stabbed.
"Who gets the pretty prize now, eh Edward? I will ensure that she forgets all about how much she loves you…she will be mine…mine!"
"Oculae Nebulae!" Severus shouted. A white film covered St. John's eyes…causing him to back away in terror, looking around in a panic. He was blind and Severus did not feel it necessary to tell him it was only temporary.
"What have you done to me!?" St. John screamed, flailing his arms frantically.
"Where is she?!" Severus called.
St. John tripped over a small table and was scrambling to his feet, still trying to get away from Severus.
"Where is she?!"
"Upstairs…in the third bedroom…my eyes…please don't hurt me… my eyes…" St. John stumbled, knocking over a vase.
"Expelliarmus!" Severus yelled angrily.
St. John was slammed into the wall and immediately slumped to the floor in an ungraceful and unconscious heap. Severus gave him the same ministrations as he had to Blanche. The stables were a fitting place for the evil beasts that they were. They deserved far worse for what they had done.
Clenching his teeth in pain, Severus pulled the knife out and threw it to the ground. It was a deep cut, bleeding badly and he muttered a crude binding spell before racing up the stairs in search of Hermione. Proper healing would have to wait.
In his haste, he did not notice the flames traveling the length of the heavy velvet curtains…
A/N: One thing I would like to point out is the whole Severus-Neville dynamic, which is my own invention and not canon. Yes, I have added a bit where Frank Longbottom believed in Severus and was something of a friend to our dear Potions Master. So, why is Severus so terrible to Neville when the boy arrives at Hogwarts? Well, Severus is human and he has become so bitter by the time Harry and the others have started school that he resents that Neville survived unscathed while his parents did not. In some ways, this parallels what happened to Harry. Anyway, it's one of many ways to look at it. I'm sure we will find out more in the upcoming novels.
A/N2: Thanks to textualsphinx for the idea of blinding St. John