Title Needed (Desperately!) -- Like a Phoenix
Chapter 13: The Truth is Out
A/N: Wow, my muse has returned! Yay for me! Okay, I want to start writing because I'm afraid I'll loose my idea!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I'm in a rush to keep writing!!!!!
***
Sirius quickly made his way to the room Dumbledore had said he could stay in. Once inside, he went over to his trunk and opened it up. He rummaged through the contents until he came upon an old piece of parchment. Taking a deep breath, he pulled out his wand. He held it above the parchment, not moving. His hand shook slightly, but he took another deep breath.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he whispered, tapping the parchment with his wand. Lines started appearing all over the page, forming corridors and rooms. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to once again regain his composure. When he opened his eyes, they darted towards the Great Hall, where there was a mass of little black dots with names written above them. He looked at the teachers' table, and he let out a sigh of frustration. The one person he was looking for was gone. His eyes scanned the paper again. Then his breath caught.
There was someone standing right outside his door. Sirius closed his eyes, then opened them again. The name was still there, in tiny little cursive letters. He let the parchment fall from his hands. He fought to regain his breath. The name was still burned into his mind, as clearly as it had been written on the map that never lied. The map that couldn't be fooled in any way. 'Harry Potter'.
Sirius jumped as someone, no, not someone, his dead godson, knocked at his door. He let the first emotion that came to him take over. Unfortunately for Harry, it was anger. Sirius opened the door, and before even thinking about it, punched Harry in the face. Harry fell flat on the floor.
"What was that for?" Harry asked indignantly. Sirius glared at him even more. Harry slowly stood up.
"How dare you. How dare you use his name and defile it like this!" Sirius started out soft, but screamed the end.
"What? What are you talking about? Use who's name?" Harry asked, deciding to play dumb in the face of his godfather's rage.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about Harry. You used James' name to evade us. To pretend like you were dead. How dare you!" Sirius replied. Harry just gulped, his face going extremely pale. "And you didn't tell me! Do the others know? If they don't they will, I promise you that," Sirius said, moving to go back to the Great Hall.
"They know. I made them promise not to tell you. They weren't even supposed to know, but they figured it out. Please, Sirius, just calm down!" Harry begged, trying to get Sirius to go back into his room.
"And why, pray tell, was I the last to 'figure it out'?" Sirius said, his voice now deathly calm.
"I haven't been working with you since the beginning of the school year. They have. They've been around me long enough to realize what I had been telling them wasn't true. I didn't think they'd realize so soon," Harry said wearily. Sirius went and sat down heavily in a chair. "How'd you figure it out? I mean, was it the glasses?" Harry asked curiously.
Sirius pointed to the piece of parchment on the floor. Harry bent down to pick it up, and when he saw it, smiled slightly.
"It really never does lie, does it? I didn't even think about who'd have it. I guess it just makes sense it went back to you," Harry said. Sirius now had his eyes closed. "Are you okay?" Harry asked softly.
"Do you think I'm okay? Of course I'm not okay. You don't know what it feels like to think someone is dead for so long, just to find out they're not. It's like they're dying all over again or something. All the emotions come back... the fear, the pain... I was scared Harry. You were all I had left, then you were gone. What was I supposed to do?" Sirius asked. Harry could tell he was crying.
"You still had Remus though. And Dumbledore. And Hermione, and the Weasleys. You weren't alone," Harry tried to comfort him, to no avail.
"It's not the same Harry, and you know that. It's just like I wasn't, never could be, the same as your father," Sirius whispered out.
Harry stood next to Sirius, a wave of guilt sweeping through him. It was as if all the circumstances of his actions had finally caught up to him, he had finally seen the harsh reality of what he had done. It made him sick to think about it. "I'm sorry Sirius. I know sorry doesn't help any, but it's the best I can offer. It's all I can offer. I can't change the past. If only I could, things would be a lot different. But none of us can, as much as we wish we could. Don't be angry Sirius. Please. Can we just get along, at least for this week while you're here?" Harry asked. Sirius didn't respond. Harry could tell he was still crying.
"I can't promise you anything Harry. Don't make me even try. Maybe it would just be best if we avoided each other for the next few days," Sirius said.
"Avoided each other? We haven't seen each other in ten years," Harry said, sounding slightly hurt. This only caused Sirius to get angry again.
"Ten years when I thought you were dead! It takes more than a few hours and a good night's sleep to get over something like this," Sirius replied, anger evident in his voice once again. Harry nodded slightly, then turned to leave.
He turned back again as he reached the door. "I'm sorry Sirius, I honestly am. I never thought it would come to this," Harry said, barely above a whisper. Then he turned and left Sirius alone to dwell on his thoughts.
Sirius didn't move from the seat he was in. Thoughts were spinning through his head at a mile a minute. Pain, loss, guilt, all swept through him. Memories flashed through his mind. Memories of friendship, betrayal, pain, brief glimpses of happiness, and more loss then anyone should have to suffer.
He let out a deep sigh as he closed his eyes, trying to block out the visions. Then he got up, intent on taking a walk, hoping it would clear his mind. He left his room, not sure as to where he was going. He finally found himself next to a picture of a flying cow. A small smile formed on Sirius' lips as he reached out and rubbed one of the spots on the cow. It mooed softly as the painting swung forward, revealing a small room with a briskly burning fire and some comfortable looking chairs.
More memories came back to Sirius now. These ones were happier. 'I remember the night we found this room,' he thought to himself, going over to a cabinet. He opened it up, and sure as he remembered, there were bags and bags of marshmallows. He took a bag, and a long wooden stick that was also inside the cabinet, and went to sit in one of the chairs.
Spearing a marshmallow on the stick, he leaned back into the chair, letting the treat toast over the fire. As he sat there, more memories started to come to him. 'This is where James proposed to Lily!' Sirius remembered all of a sudden. A small smile crawled across his face. 'Those were the days. We didn't have any cares back then,' he thought wistfully. 'If only things could be like that again.'
Sirius didn't realize until too late that his marshmallow had caught on fire. Sighing, he slid the horrendously burnt one off the end of the stick and threw the charred remains into the fire. He took another marshmallow to try again. He paid sharp attention this time, and just as the marshmallow turned a delectable shade of golden brown, he pulled the treat back and took it off the stick, then popped it into his mouth, smiling as the fluffy goodness coated his teeth and gums.
Sighing again, he looked at his watch, realizing it was getting late. He got up from his seat and went back through the portrait to return to his room. He took his time though, trying to clear his mind of the thoughts he was having. He was still slightly in shock from earlier, but he didn't want that to get to him. After about fifteen minutes, he made it back to his room. He went inside and got ready for bed.
That night, he relived all the horrible events of his life, and in the morning, he was extremely exhausted by it all. Sighing, he quickly showered and went down to the Great Hall for some breakfast. When he walked in, he saw Harry sitting at the table already, not saying much to his friends. Sirius went to sit down, and when Harry caught sight of him, he got up to leave.
"I'll see you guys later, okay?" Harry said to his friends as he left. Sirius glared at him slightly, still angry at Harry for lying to them all.
"Sirius, don't be too hard on him," Hermione said softly as Sirius sat down. He just rolled his eyes.
"Hermione, he lied to us. Maybe not directly, but by not telling any of us, he lied to us. Why should I take it easy on him?" Sirius said, putting some food onto his plate.
"Did you even give him a chance Sirius? To tell you what happened?" Hermione asked, somewhat sternly.
"No. Why should I? Did he give me a chance to say goodbye? Did he give me a chance to talk him out of it? No. So why should I give him a chance?" Sirius replied, anger creeping into his voice.
"Sirius, talk to him, please. Let him tell you what happened. He's taking this hard. Real hard. You mean a lot to him, Sirius," Hermione said, trying to get Sirius to see Harry's side. Sirius didn't say anything, pondering his options.
"If I meant so much to him, why didn't he come to me? Or any of us? I just don't get it Hermione," Sirius said, almost hopelessly.
"Then talk to him. That's the only advice I can offer you. It helped with Ron. Please Sirius, just give him a chance," Hermione was practically begging him.
Sirius sighed. "I just don't know. I need some time. Maybe I'll talk with him tomorrow, but I can't do it. Not so soon," Sirius said.
"That's better than nothing. Do you want me to tell him for you?" Hermione asked kindly.
"Could you? I guess we can talk in my room. Tell him to come at one o'clock sharp, okay?" Sirius asked. Hermione nodded, and got up to find her friend. Sirius sighed again.
'Tomorrow's going to be one long day,' Sirius thought to himself as he finished his breakfast and headed off to do some work.
***
A/N: I know, I know... it's short... But this chapter just doesn't seem right... Oh well... If you hadn't noticed, I finally have a title!!! Yay for me!!! It came to me at 2:30 AM the other morning, lol... Anyway, thanks to everyone who has suggested something to me! And I also want to apologize for this taking so long... Hopefully the next one won't take too much time to write... But I'm afraid it might get redundant... I'll try and make it something different though... maybe we'll find out something new about Harry... like if he's going to die or not??? LOL!!!! I'm not telling!!!! You have to read to find out!!!! :-P!!!!!!!!!!!!! *grins evilly and runs away*!!!!
Okay, here are my thanks!
SiriusBPadfoot- As always, thanks for the review! Do you seriously (or Siriusly, lol!!!) think I'm a writing goddess?? I am SO not that good!! I knew you'd like last chapter, and sorry for holding you so long with that cliffhanger!!! I'm evil, I know!! I hope this chapter gave you enough of what you wanted for a little while.. the next chapter should focus on Sirius and Harry a bit, so... okay... hehe...
Bleeding Heart- I can do whatever I want, cuz I'm the author! :-P!! Sorry, lol! Thanks for the suggestions for a title!!!
lazymeoo7- Thanks for the suggestions!! And thank you for taking the time to read my story!!!
Michelle- I hurried as best I could!! Thanks for still reading!!!
And thank ALL of you for reading!!! PLEASE leave a review!!! It makes me feel SO happy!!!!
Chapter 13: The Truth is Out
A/N: Wow, my muse has returned! Yay for me! Okay, I want to start writing because I'm afraid I'll loose my idea!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I'm in a rush to keep writing!!!!!
***
Sirius quickly made his way to the room Dumbledore had said he could stay in. Once inside, he went over to his trunk and opened it up. He rummaged through the contents until he came upon an old piece of parchment. Taking a deep breath, he pulled out his wand. He held it above the parchment, not moving. His hand shook slightly, but he took another deep breath.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he whispered, tapping the parchment with his wand. Lines started appearing all over the page, forming corridors and rooms. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to once again regain his composure. When he opened his eyes, they darted towards the Great Hall, where there was a mass of little black dots with names written above them. He looked at the teachers' table, and he let out a sigh of frustration. The one person he was looking for was gone. His eyes scanned the paper again. Then his breath caught.
There was someone standing right outside his door. Sirius closed his eyes, then opened them again. The name was still there, in tiny little cursive letters. He let the parchment fall from his hands. He fought to regain his breath. The name was still burned into his mind, as clearly as it had been written on the map that never lied. The map that couldn't be fooled in any way. 'Harry Potter'.
Sirius jumped as someone, no, not someone, his dead godson, knocked at his door. He let the first emotion that came to him take over. Unfortunately for Harry, it was anger. Sirius opened the door, and before even thinking about it, punched Harry in the face. Harry fell flat on the floor.
"What was that for?" Harry asked indignantly. Sirius glared at him even more. Harry slowly stood up.
"How dare you. How dare you use his name and defile it like this!" Sirius started out soft, but screamed the end.
"What? What are you talking about? Use who's name?" Harry asked, deciding to play dumb in the face of his godfather's rage.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about Harry. You used James' name to evade us. To pretend like you were dead. How dare you!" Sirius replied. Harry just gulped, his face going extremely pale. "And you didn't tell me! Do the others know? If they don't they will, I promise you that," Sirius said, moving to go back to the Great Hall.
"They know. I made them promise not to tell you. They weren't even supposed to know, but they figured it out. Please, Sirius, just calm down!" Harry begged, trying to get Sirius to go back into his room.
"And why, pray tell, was I the last to 'figure it out'?" Sirius said, his voice now deathly calm.
"I haven't been working with you since the beginning of the school year. They have. They've been around me long enough to realize what I had been telling them wasn't true. I didn't think they'd realize so soon," Harry said wearily. Sirius went and sat down heavily in a chair. "How'd you figure it out? I mean, was it the glasses?" Harry asked curiously.
Sirius pointed to the piece of parchment on the floor. Harry bent down to pick it up, and when he saw it, smiled slightly.
"It really never does lie, does it? I didn't even think about who'd have it. I guess it just makes sense it went back to you," Harry said. Sirius now had his eyes closed. "Are you okay?" Harry asked softly.
"Do you think I'm okay? Of course I'm not okay. You don't know what it feels like to think someone is dead for so long, just to find out they're not. It's like they're dying all over again or something. All the emotions come back... the fear, the pain... I was scared Harry. You were all I had left, then you were gone. What was I supposed to do?" Sirius asked. Harry could tell he was crying.
"You still had Remus though. And Dumbledore. And Hermione, and the Weasleys. You weren't alone," Harry tried to comfort him, to no avail.
"It's not the same Harry, and you know that. It's just like I wasn't, never could be, the same as your father," Sirius whispered out.
Harry stood next to Sirius, a wave of guilt sweeping through him. It was as if all the circumstances of his actions had finally caught up to him, he had finally seen the harsh reality of what he had done. It made him sick to think about it. "I'm sorry Sirius. I know sorry doesn't help any, but it's the best I can offer. It's all I can offer. I can't change the past. If only I could, things would be a lot different. But none of us can, as much as we wish we could. Don't be angry Sirius. Please. Can we just get along, at least for this week while you're here?" Harry asked. Sirius didn't respond. Harry could tell he was still crying.
"I can't promise you anything Harry. Don't make me even try. Maybe it would just be best if we avoided each other for the next few days," Sirius said.
"Avoided each other? We haven't seen each other in ten years," Harry said, sounding slightly hurt. This only caused Sirius to get angry again.
"Ten years when I thought you were dead! It takes more than a few hours and a good night's sleep to get over something like this," Sirius replied, anger evident in his voice once again. Harry nodded slightly, then turned to leave.
He turned back again as he reached the door. "I'm sorry Sirius, I honestly am. I never thought it would come to this," Harry said, barely above a whisper. Then he turned and left Sirius alone to dwell on his thoughts.
Sirius didn't move from the seat he was in. Thoughts were spinning through his head at a mile a minute. Pain, loss, guilt, all swept through him. Memories flashed through his mind. Memories of friendship, betrayal, pain, brief glimpses of happiness, and more loss then anyone should have to suffer.
He let out a deep sigh as he closed his eyes, trying to block out the visions. Then he got up, intent on taking a walk, hoping it would clear his mind. He left his room, not sure as to where he was going. He finally found himself next to a picture of a flying cow. A small smile formed on Sirius' lips as he reached out and rubbed one of the spots on the cow. It mooed softly as the painting swung forward, revealing a small room with a briskly burning fire and some comfortable looking chairs.
More memories came back to Sirius now. These ones were happier. 'I remember the night we found this room,' he thought to himself, going over to a cabinet. He opened it up, and sure as he remembered, there were bags and bags of marshmallows. He took a bag, and a long wooden stick that was also inside the cabinet, and went to sit in one of the chairs.
Spearing a marshmallow on the stick, he leaned back into the chair, letting the treat toast over the fire. As he sat there, more memories started to come to him. 'This is where James proposed to Lily!' Sirius remembered all of a sudden. A small smile crawled across his face. 'Those were the days. We didn't have any cares back then,' he thought wistfully. 'If only things could be like that again.'
Sirius didn't realize until too late that his marshmallow had caught on fire. Sighing, he slid the horrendously burnt one off the end of the stick and threw the charred remains into the fire. He took another marshmallow to try again. He paid sharp attention this time, and just as the marshmallow turned a delectable shade of golden brown, he pulled the treat back and took it off the stick, then popped it into his mouth, smiling as the fluffy goodness coated his teeth and gums.
Sighing again, he looked at his watch, realizing it was getting late. He got up from his seat and went back through the portrait to return to his room. He took his time though, trying to clear his mind of the thoughts he was having. He was still slightly in shock from earlier, but he didn't want that to get to him. After about fifteen minutes, he made it back to his room. He went inside and got ready for bed.
That night, he relived all the horrible events of his life, and in the morning, he was extremely exhausted by it all. Sighing, he quickly showered and went down to the Great Hall for some breakfast. When he walked in, he saw Harry sitting at the table already, not saying much to his friends. Sirius went to sit down, and when Harry caught sight of him, he got up to leave.
"I'll see you guys later, okay?" Harry said to his friends as he left. Sirius glared at him slightly, still angry at Harry for lying to them all.
"Sirius, don't be too hard on him," Hermione said softly as Sirius sat down. He just rolled his eyes.
"Hermione, he lied to us. Maybe not directly, but by not telling any of us, he lied to us. Why should I take it easy on him?" Sirius said, putting some food onto his plate.
"Did you even give him a chance Sirius? To tell you what happened?" Hermione asked, somewhat sternly.
"No. Why should I? Did he give me a chance to say goodbye? Did he give me a chance to talk him out of it? No. So why should I give him a chance?" Sirius replied, anger creeping into his voice.
"Sirius, talk to him, please. Let him tell you what happened. He's taking this hard. Real hard. You mean a lot to him, Sirius," Hermione said, trying to get Sirius to see Harry's side. Sirius didn't say anything, pondering his options.
"If I meant so much to him, why didn't he come to me? Or any of us? I just don't get it Hermione," Sirius said, almost hopelessly.
"Then talk to him. That's the only advice I can offer you. It helped with Ron. Please Sirius, just give him a chance," Hermione was practically begging him.
Sirius sighed. "I just don't know. I need some time. Maybe I'll talk with him tomorrow, but I can't do it. Not so soon," Sirius said.
"That's better than nothing. Do you want me to tell him for you?" Hermione asked kindly.
"Could you? I guess we can talk in my room. Tell him to come at one o'clock sharp, okay?" Sirius asked. Hermione nodded, and got up to find her friend. Sirius sighed again.
'Tomorrow's going to be one long day,' Sirius thought to himself as he finished his breakfast and headed off to do some work.
***
A/N: I know, I know... it's short... But this chapter just doesn't seem right... Oh well... If you hadn't noticed, I finally have a title!!! Yay for me!!! It came to me at 2:30 AM the other morning, lol... Anyway, thanks to everyone who has suggested something to me! And I also want to apologize for this taking so long... Hopefully the next one won't take too much time to write... But I'm afraid it might get redundant... I'll try and make it something different though... maybe we'll find out something new about Harry... like if he's going to die or not??? LOL!!!! I'm not telling!!!! You have to read to find out!!!! :-P!!!!!!!!!!!!! *grins evilly and runs away*!!!!
Okay, here are my thanks!
SiriusBPadfoot- As always, thanks for the review! Do you seriously (or Siriusly, lol!!!) think I'm a writing goddess?? I am SO not that good!! I knew you'd like last chapter, and sorry for holding you so long with that cliffhanger!!! I'm evil, I know!! I hope this chapter gave you enough of what you wanted for a little while.. the next chapter should focus on Sirius and Harry a bit, so... okay... hehe...
Bleeding Heart- I can do whatever I want, cuz I'm the author! :-P!! Sorry, lol! Thanks for the suggestions for a title!!!
lazymeoo7- Thanks for the suggestions!! And thank you for taking the time to read my story!!!
Michelle- I hurried as best I could!! Thanks for still reading!!!
And thank ALL of you for reading!!! PLEASE leave a review!!! It makes me feel SO happy!!!!