Chapter 4
By Crystal
Author's Notes: I've changed a few things from the anime and manga here.
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*
Weeks had gone by, and weeks turned into months. I had gone to the flower shop's today to buy flowers for Okami-san. There was only Irises left, and it was the last bouquet, which left me no choice than to buy it. "It's raining again." Okami-san said, I nodded, "It sure rains a lot."
I gave her the Irises, "This was the flower shop's last bouquet." I told her. The Irises smelt nice, and when I gave Okami-san the bouquet, I could still smell the scent of Irises on my kimono.
"The rainy season makes it hard for flowers to blood. At least there are Irises." She told me, it's not like I really cared a lot about Irises, but I guess I didn't mind. I had nothing else to do but listen to her talk, and I wasn't very talkative anyhow. I asked her what else there was to do and she pointed to the potatoes and told me to peel them. "They smell like you... Irises smell strongest in the rain, not in the sun." Okami-san said, after I had started peeling the potatoes.
I couldn't help but think there was a hidden meaning to that saying, but when I looked at her for help, she just looked back without helping much. Rain... She'll tell me sooner or later anyhow... I hope anyways.
* * * * *
As I walked past the room I had slept in for the first night, I saw Himura sleeping there peacefully, in a sitting position with his katana popped up on his shoulder. I had noticed that he usually slept like that, I wonder if his back ever hurts. Sleeping like that must be a pain in the back.
He looked so peaceful. So much more peaceful than he was awake. Right now, his features were soft and relaxed, like a child should be, but when he wakes up, his eyes are so intense even I have trouble looking directly at his eyes sometimes. A child... I sighed silently and walked to my room and took out my shawl and put my shawl around him. As I walked to him, I saw a top on the floor and allowed myself a small smile.
It was impossible that the Hitokiri Battousai was him. The thought itself was scary. A child like this... could be killing hundreds of people. Even a child can kill people... ...But... I reached out to touch the scar Kiyosato had given him and his eyes snapped open and reached for his katana. I gasped as I felt the blade near my throat. I was going to die... But at the last second, he knew what he was doing. And pushed me away from the blade, making me collapse on the floor sending the books flying in every direction.
"Sumanai." He said, standing up. He sheathed his sword and then noticed my shawl on his left arm.
I looked away for a second before saying, "It's getting cold… You were near the window. He apologized again, not that it was formal. I was starting to think that this boy didn't have any respect, speaking so informally, but thinking back... He WAS a child, after all. I kneeled down and started picking up books, "Have you read all these?" I asked, curiously.
"No... no one. They're perfect for falling asleep. A hitokiri doesn't need to study." He said, and I felt mad, for whatever reason. A hitokiri doesn't need to study, what kind of bull crap was that?! Whoever taught him that was an idiotic moron, that's what I would say. Of course, I wouldn't dare say that out loud.
"Are you going to continue killing people forever? The person who hasn't found a safe place is you..." I was concerned about him, and I knew he knew I was concerned. A child as a hitokiri, that was already rare, but the Hitokiri? THE Hitokiri Battousai? Sometimes, I really found that unrealistic, even now, even after I've seen him cut a person in half.
"I've been doing that since I was little. I even saw people killed in front of me." He replied, indifferent. Somehow, I knew he didn't actually feel how he sounded, and I pitied him, although I didn't show anything. Men hated pitying, I snorted inwardly, use my father as an example.
I looked at him straight in the eye, "So you're going to continue killing..." I wonder if the people killed in front of him was his family or any close friends, because if it was, that would be horrible.
"That's my role. It won't last long. I don't need you worrying about me." He replied to me, looking back at him. His eyes were softening.
'That's my role.' What kind of bull crap is that? A child playing a role as a hitokiri and trying to kill because they want to create a new era? Though I think it's still impossible, I might be wrong, but if someone has to do that, it doesn't have to be you! You're, a child! Only fifteen! Out loud, "But..."
"I'm a killer who makes it rain blood. I don't wish for you to know the smell of blood." You know what I wanted to say, Himura Kenshin? I wanted to say that I already know the smell of blood. That very night you had killed in front of me, I had already known the smell of blood well. That night you sliced that body in half right in front of me, staining blood all over my kimono and my face, I already knew the smell of blood. What you're saying is complete crap.
I controlled my anger, with my still calm and cold mask on my face, "I'm sorry to have interfered in your affairs. Obviously I could never understand. Excuse me." I said, and hurried out the room. I didn't want him saying stuff like that about himself. He's saying it like he doesn't deserve anything, not even happiness. But he do!
"Tomoe." I heard him say, and I turned around. It was the first time Himura-san said my name without a honorific. "Arigatou." He said, closing his eyes, showing me that he was sincere. Even without closing his eyes, I knew he was being sincere. Nonetheless, I was still shocked. He had obviously felt my anger and even if he had no idea what was happening, he had said thank you. And him, the Hitokiri Battousai had thanked a woman, like me.
I was still shocked, but a second later, I composed myself and walked out the door. Now, if only I remembered what I was thinking earlier on, before Himura-san had called my name. Had I just said that Himura-san deserved happiness? If I did, I am so messed up right now.
'May 4, 1864
He tries to be unemotional, but I can see through him. He is human like all of us. Just like all of us. He's a child, a child that has lost his innocence long ago. You can't blame him, having to be the Ishin shishi assassin, having a black envelope coming almost every two days.
He slept by the window today... I thought he'd catch a cold, so I covered him with my shawl, but... He woke up and held his katana to my throat. I can't help but think how bad his childhood was. He probably never had any parents, or else he wouldn't have turned into the Hitokiri Battousai.
He had actually said thank you, I really was shocked. Really. Sometimes I don't know what to think of him. Should I think of him as the cold Hitokiri Battousai that has amber eyes, or should I think of him as Himura Kenshin, a child that is lost in the world, a child with amethyst eyes that are warm... Like today when he said thank you? I don't know anymore. I don't know, Kiyosato. What should I do?'
I flipped my journal closed, and stared out at the stars like I had many times done during the past two months that I've been here. In the inn with the Battousai. I usually would be asleep at this time of the night, but once again today, Himura-san had gotten a black envelope from Iizuka-san. I can't help but feel a tinge of anger towards Iizuka-san. Can't he see Himura-san is suffering? Can't he see he's human like all of us? Can he see how much killing hurts him?
Once again like many times during the past two months, I heard the inn door roll open and I stayed there for a few minutes until I heard water being splashed again. I walked down slowly as I have many times after his assassination. This time, he didn't lift his head up like he usually did when I came in. He didn't speak and went scrubbing away at his hands. I don't think he even noticed me coming in. And I was right. I stood there for how long, I didn't know, but all I knew were, his hands were getting bloody from all the scrubbing.
I instantly walked up to him and put my hands in the cold pinkish water and held both his hands tight. "Don't scrub anymore, Himura-san. They're starting to bleed." I was looking at the top of his head, he wouldn't even lift up his head. "Look at me." I ordered, and he slowly obeyed. The moment I caught a glimpse of his eyes, I lost my cold mask. His eyes were lifeless. And when I say lifeless, I mean lifeless. They were dull, they lost their intense and lively glow. "Himura-san..."
He cut my speech off immediately, "I killed an innocent by-passer." His voice was cold, he was gritting his teeth. I had immediately begun to think of Kiyosato. When he had killed Kiyosato, did he act like he was acting right now? As I heard, Kiyosato was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Was his reaction like this after that night's assassination? Two months ago, I could've really cared less what his reaction was after killing my fiancée. Last night, I would've barely imagined the Hitokiri Battousai acting this way after killing some innocent by-passer. Right now, I would've given anything to see the cold hitokiri. Thee mask he used. I didn't know how to deal with the person standing in front of me.
What I had done, I think surprised the both of us. Without much of a second thought, I wrapped my arms around him, saying words of comfort and understanding. Sometime after that, which felt like a whole century, he calmed down and returned to his old self. He had once again thanked me and retreated back to his room. I dumped the blood filled water and walked up tiredly to my room and fell asleep once my head hit the pillow. I was exhausted. The daily chores, then staying up late, then even comforting the Battousai.
The last though that came through my mind was, 'Was Iizuka-san's plan succeeding? Would I actually be able to kill him?'
Yui Shinomori - Thanks, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
XenoMark - Thanks, I'll update it another time this week, I hope. Pretty busy with school work, but I'll try.
AnimeFreak - Arigatou! *Hands AnimeFreak a tissue*
Misao - There's one or two K/T fic on my favourite's list, maybe you can check them out ^^
DiaBLo - Yeah, the main point for the first few chapters was to do the manga/anime whatever you watched, but I'm changing a bit of it so it's going to be K/T. Like the last thing I wrote on this chapter.
Shuro - Thanks, it was just I woke up in the middle of that night and couldn't go back to sleep, so I stayed up and watched some animes. ^^
Author's Notes: I'm also taking a little break from 'The Difference Between Rain and Tears' Thank you all!
By Crystal
Author's Notes: I've changed a few things from the anime and manga here.
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*
Weeks had gone by, and weeks turned into months. I had gone to the flower shop's today to buy flowers for Okami-san. There was only Irises left, and it was the last bouquet, which left me no choice than to buy it. "It's raining again." Okami-san said, I nodded, "It sure rains a lot."
I gave her the Irises, "This was the flower shop's last bouquet." I told her. The Irises smelt nice, and when I gave Okami-san the bouquet, I could still smell the scent of Irises on my kimono.
"The rainy season makes it hard for flowers to blood. At least there are Irises." She told me, it's not like I really cared a lot about Irises, but I guess I didn't mind. I had nothing else to do but listen to her talk, and I wasn't very talkative anyhow. I asked her what else there was to do and she pointed to the potatoes and told me to peel them. "They smell like you... Irises smell strongest in the rain, not in the sun." Okami-san said, after I had started peeling the potatoes.
I couldn't help but think there was a hidden meaning to that saying, but when I looked at her for help, she just looked back without helping much. Rain... She'll tell me sooner or later anyhow... I hope anyways.
* * * * *
As I walked past the room I had slept in for the first night, I saw Himura sleeping there peacefully, in a sitting position with his katana popped up on his shoulder. I had noticed that he usually slept like that, I wonder if his back ever hurts. Sleeping like that must be a pain in the back.
He looked so peaceful. So much more peaceful than he was awake. Right now, his features were soft and relaxed, like a child should be, but when he wakes up, his eyes are so intense even I have trouble looking directly at his eyes sometimes. A child... I sighed silently and walked to my room and took out my shawl and put my shawl around him. As I walked to him, I saw a top on the floor and allowed myself a small smile.
It was impossible that the Hitokiri Battousai was him. The thought itself was scary. A child like this... could be killing hundreds of people. Even a child can kill people... ...But... I reached out to touch the scar Kiyosato had given him and his eyes snapped open and reached for his katana. I gasped as I felt the blade near my throat. I was going to die... But at the last second, he knew what he was doing. And pushed me away from the blade, making me collapse on the floor sending the books flying in every direction.
"Sumanai." He said, standing up. He sheathed his sword and then noticed my shawl on his left arm.
I looked away for a second before saying, "It's getting cold… You were near the window. He apologized again, not that it was formal. I was starting to think that this boy didn't have any respect, speaking so informally, but thinking back... He WAS a child, after all. I kneeled down and started picking up books, "Have you read all these?" I asked, curiously.
"No... no one. They're perfect for falling asleep. A hitokiri doesn't need to study." He said, and I felt mad, for whatever reason. A hitokiri doesn't need to study, what kind of bull crap was that?! Whoever taught him that was an idiotic moron, that's what I would say. Of course, I wouldn't dare say that out loud.
"Are you going to continue killing people forever? The person who hasn't found a safe place is you..." I was concerned about him, and I knew he knew I was concerned. A child as a hitokiri, that was already rare, but the Hitokiri? THE Hitokiri Battousai? Sometimes, I really found that unrealistic, even now, even after I've seen him cut a person in half.
"I've been doing that since I was little. I even saw people killed in front of me." He replied, indifferent. Somehow, I knew he didn't actually feel how he sounded, and I pitied him, although I didn't show anything. Men hated pitying, I snorted inwardly, use my father as an example.
I looked at him straight in the eye, "So you're going to continue killing..." I wonder if the people killed in front of him was his family or any close friends, because if it was, that would be horrible.
"That's my role. It won't last long. I don't need you worrying about me." He replied to me, looking back at him. His eyes were softening.
'That's my role.' What kind of bull crap is that? A child playing a role as a hitokiri and trying to kill because they want to create a new era? Though I think it's still impossible, I might be wrong, but if someone has to do that, it doesn't have to be you! You're, a child! Only fifteen! Out loud, "But..."
"I'm a killer who makes it rain blood. I don't wish for you to know the smell of blood." You know what I wanted to say, Himura Kenshin? I wanted to say that I already know the smell of blood. That very night you had killed in front of me, I had already known the smell of blood well. That night you sliced that body in half right in front of me, staining blood all over my kimono and my face, I already knew the smell of blood. What you're saying is complete crap.
I controlled my anger, with my still calm and cold mask on my face, "I'm sorry to have interfered in your affairs. Obviously I could never understand. Excuse me." I said, and hurried out the room. I didn't want him saying stuff like that about himself. He's saying it like he doesn't deserve anything, not even happiness. But he do!
"Tomoe." I heard him say, and I turned around. It was the first time Himura-san said my name without a honorific. "Arigatou." He said, closing his eyes, showing me that he was sincere. Even without closing his eyes, I knew he was being sincere. Nonetheless, I was still shocked. He had obviously felt my anger and even if he had no idea what was happening, he had said thank you. And him, the Hitokiri Battousai had thanked a woman, like me.
I was still shocked, but a second later, I composed myself and walked out the door. Now, if only I remembered what I was thinking earlier on, before Himura-san had called my name. Had I just said that Himura-san deserved happiness? If I did, I am so messed up right now.
'May 4, 1864
He tries to be unemotional, but I can see through him. He is human like all of us. Just like all of us. He's a child, a child that has lost his innocence long ago. You can't blame him, having to be the Ishin shishi assassin, having a black envelope coming almost every two days.
He slept by the window today... I thought he'd catch a cold, so I covered him with my shawl, but... He woke up and held his katana to my throat. I can't help but think how bad his childhood was. He probably never had any parents, or else he wouldn't have turned into the Hitokiri Battousai.
He had actually said thank you, I really was shocked. Really. Sometimes I don't know what to think of him. Should I think of him as the cold Hitokiri Battousai that has amber eyes, or should I think of him as Himura Kenshin, a child that is lost in the world, a child with amethyst eyes that are warm... Like today when he said thank you? I don't know anymore. I don't know, Kiyosato. What should I do?'
I flipped my journal closed, and stared out at the stars like I had many times done during the past two months that I've been here. In the inn with the Battousai. I usually would be asleep at this time of the night, but once again today, Himura-san had gotten a black envelope from Iizuka-san. I can't help but feel a tinge of anger towards Iizuka-san. Can't he see Himura-san is suffering? Can't he see he's human like all of us? Can he see how much killing hurts him?
Once again like many times during the past two months, I heard the inn door roll open and I stayed there for a few minutes until I heard water being splashed again. I walked down slowly as I have many times after his assassination. This time, he didn't lift his head up like he usually did when I came in. He didn't speak and went scrubbing away at his hands. I don't think he even noticed me coming in. And I was right. I stood there for how long, I didn't know, but all I knew were, his hands were getting bloody from all the scrubbing.
I instantly walked up to him and put my hands in the cold pinkish water and held both his hands tight. "Don't scrub anymore, Himura-san. They're starting to bleed." I was looking at the top of his head, he wouldn't even lift up his head. "Look at me." I ordered, and he slowly obeyed. The moment I caught a glimpse of his eyes, I lost my cold mask. His eyes were lifeless. And when I say lifeless, I mean lifeless. They were dull, they lost their intense and lively glow. "Himura-san..."
He cut my speech off immediately, "I killed an innocent by-passer." His voice was cold, he was gritting his teeth. I had immediately begun to think of Kiyosato. When he had killed Kiyosato, did he act like he was acting right now? As I heard, Kiyosato was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Was his reaction like this after that night's assassination? Two months ago, I could've really cared less what his reaction was after killing my fiancée. Last night, I would've barely imagined the Hitokiri Battousai acting this way after killing some innocent by-passer. Right now, I would've given anything to see the cold hitokiri. Thee mask he used. I didn't know how to deal with the person standing in front of me.
What I had done, I think surprised the both of us. Without much of a second thought, I wrapped my arms around him, saying words of comfort and understanding. Sometime after that, which felt like a whole century, he calmed down and returned to his old self. He had once again thanked me and retreated back to his room. I dumped the blood filled water and walked up tiredly to my room and fell asleep once my head hit the pillow. I was exhausted. The daily chores, then staying up late, then even comforting the Battousai.
The last though that came through my mind was, 'Was Iizuka-san's plan succeeding? Would I actually be able to kill him?'
Yui Shinomori - Thanks, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
XenoMark - Thanks, I'll update it another time this week, I hope. Pretty busy with school work, but I'll try.
AnimeFreak - Arigatou! *Hands AnimeFreak a tissue*
Misao - There's one or two K/T fic on my favourite's list, maybe you can check them out ^^
DiaBLo - Yeah, the main point for the first few chapters was to do the manga/anime whatever you watched, but I'm changing a bit of it so it's going to be K/T. Like the last thing I wrote on this chapter.
Shuro - Thanks, it was just I woke up in the middle of that night and couldn't go back to sleep, so I stayed up and watched some animes. ^^
Author's Notes: I'm also taking a little break from 'The Difference Between Rain and Tears' Thank you all!