Chapter 10
By Crystal
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*
I looked at my husband, thoughts going through my head... When he had embrace me today, I felt safe... But I felt guilty. Towards Kiyosato... The thoughts I've had a while after I met Kenshin... He died someplace where I wasn't and with him, disappeared my happiness. I couldn't hold onto the happiness that was right in front of me. It was my fault for not expressing my feelings... If I'd been brave... Then... The more I think that, the more I have to hate something, or someone... And I choose the murderer. I came on a mission... to kill you, Battousai. And yet, you want to protect such a woman...
Why...? I don't understand... Why? I see him look at me strangely and for the second time that day, I have the strongest urge to hug him... And he welcomed me freely. I felt his arms tighten around me and for a second there, I swear I was the happiest woman on the entire planet...
My fiancé was a middle class worker like my father, but he was so nice and he worked so hard. I was loved that about him. I was so happy when he chose me to be his wife... But all I could do was stare wide eyed at him. That may be why I couldn't tell him how happy I was...
I felt my yukata slide off me and your yukata falling off you... I love you, Kenshin. I really do. Sometimes, I wish I had met you sooner... And I wish you were never a hitokiri... Then, maybe, we would have different endings... I love you... I really do... I felt your flawless skin... Warmth seeped through my body as we made love. I felt you inside me... After a while, I rested on your shoulder and you held me close. So close... And then, I was happy. But I knew I did not deserve this... I betrayed Kiyosato by marrying you... And I betrayed you, by being a spy. Maybe... I had no right to be happy...
"You make it rain blood." I looked up at my husband, the man I love. "That's what you said when we first met." I'm glad you remembered, anata... "You also said that there's no happiness to be had from killing people..." I nodded my head against your shoulder. "But I will kill people in the future. A new time is coming. I will kill until then, but when that time comes, I will stop killing. I want to protect the happiness of each person I see and rid myself of my sins. If I have you, I can throw away my sword..." Was what he saying really true? He would rather be with me and throw away his sword? The only thing he has been relying on for his whole life? Was I... Really that important to him? "Tomoe..."
I looked up in surprised, "Hai?"
"Kimi wo, shiawase wa, ore wa mamoru..." He said, a slight blush on cheeks again.
I felt my eyes widen and my heart beating, "Hai..." I said. My heart was about to burst... If a while ago I had said I was the happiest woman alive, I was wrong. It was now...
"After all this... I will return to you... And I will protect." I smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the lips. He kissed back passionately and after a few minutes, I snuggled back into Kenshin's arms and rested my head on his shoulder again. Safe... And warm. Perhaps... I did have a right to be happy... Perhaps...
* * * * *
'October 19, 1864
It's been a whole month since that day. We visit the village weekly and Kenshin plays with the kids all the time. It's fun watching them... Kenshin has finally noticed my smile too. Everytime he sees me smile, his face breaks into a smile. He then comes and hugs me, sometimes even giving me a kiss... I love Kenshin. I went to the doctor's today... And... I'm pregnant. I really don't know what to say to him. Kenshin... You're a father? Or should I say, Kenshin, I'm pregnant. You were playing with Toku-kun today and I cannot help but think if that's how you are going to treat our child. Play with him all the time and spoil him? Whenever I see you and Toku-kun playing, I picture him as our child. With flaming red hair like his father, those violet eyes... Even a short ponytail tied up... A boy, definitely a boy... Kenji. Our son would be named Kenji. Ken after his father... What do you say, anata?'
I smiled slightly and felt myself embraced from behind. I closed my journal slowly and tilted my head back, kissing Kenshin on the lips. "What are you doing, staying up so late, koishii?"
I closed my eyes and sighed, satisfied with the warmth. "Writing in my journal, as you can see, anata."
"All right, I'm going to bed right now. Good night." I felt the warmth leaving and I snapped my eyes open.
"Kenshin... I... Come over here... Onegai?" She asked, pleadingly.
He came up to me and sat down behind me, wrapping his arms around me. A month ago, he would never have done that. And I was happy. For once in my life, I was happy. But... It wasn't the first time I felt guilty about it. Though I pushed the feeling away. "What's wrong, koishii? You sound worried."
I tried talking, but a lump was in my throat. Swallowing was just making it worst. "Kenshin... I..." I saw him frown slightly and his eyes were slightly amber already... "I..." Darn it... I hated it when I couldn't talk... He turned me around.
"What's wrong Tomoe? Is someone hurting you?" His voice was cold and so unfamiliar to me... Maybe months ago, I wouldn't mind, but now I did. Instead of being scared and mad though, I was happy. It shows that he's still keeping his promise... He has been since the past month.
"No!" I said, "I'm just..." He frowned, "Kenshin... I'm pregnant."
His eyes widen in shock and a minute later, they return to their original size. "Is it mine...?" I nodded quietly. "I'm... going to be a father...?" He asked, unbelievably and I smiled.
"Hai, anata..."
"What... What are we going to name the girl... Or boy?" Kenshin asked.
I smiled, "I was hoping for a boy, then he'd look like his father. Kenji... Himura Kenji. What do you think, anata?"
"I think that's a great name." He moved forward and embraced me again. I felt his head on top of mine, sniffing my scent.
"Aishiteru... Kenshin."
I felt him stiffen a bit, then relax. "Aishiteru Tomoe... Zutto." We then went to sleep in our futon. It took a while for me to actually get him to sleep in the futon, but he got used to it after a while. I was so comfortable lying there with his arms wrapped around me and my head on his chest, hearing his every breath and every beat of his heart. For now, I was contented... Until... I saw a paper flutter down and on it, was written in black ink...
'Yukishiro
The time is up.'
I don't get it... Why is it every time I'm totally happy, something comes and snatches it away from me? Why?! I don't get it... Why? When I was happy with Kiyosato... Kenshin took him away from me. When I was happy with Kenshin, my revenge took him away from me... Life sucked... I closed my eyes and breathed in the smell of sandalwood deeply. My love... My husband... The father of my son... The father of Kenji. I had promised myself that I would protect him with my life... The first day that we went to sell medicine. The first day as the wife of the medicine seller. It seemed so long ago, yet it was only around three months...
How long was it that I had met him? Around nine months. It felt so long, yet it was less than an year. I snuggled up next to him one last time... And stood up. Looking around the whole house, where I had spent the last few months of my life here. I felt my eyes water... And closed my eyes, hoping tears wouldn't fall. I love him. I always will, until the end of time.
'October 19, 1864 (continuation)
I'm sorry, anata... But I hope, someday, you will forgive me. No matter what happens, I will always love you. Aishiteru, Kenshin. Zutto. If I die, I will watch over you in heaven... Kenji and I. I'm sorry about Kenji... I know you wanted to create life instead of destroy it. I'm afraid I can't do that for you... But, I can't break my own promise of protecting you. I will protect you... When you die... I'll welcome you with open arms...
Aishiteru... Second man to love me. Aishiteru, anata. Thank you, for giving me another happiness. I forgive you... about killing Kiyosato.'
I look at my husband who was still sleeping in our futon... This is the person who stole my happiness and gave me another happiness. Good bye... Second man to love me. I folded my shawl and put it next to you and left my journal lying on the table. I wanted you to know everything... But... When I left my journal... I took your top. I hope you don't mind...
* * * * *
My mind was in turmoil, walking up the snow covered trail. My feet making footsteps very time I stepped down. Half an hour later, I see a wooden house... I pushed open the door and saw Tatsumi. "Why did you get Enishi involved?"
"That kid who was asking around about his sister... Those above brought him. He is in the same situation as you." He said, turning his back to me.
"Where are the others?"
"Scattered around the mountains. They are waiting for him."
"Without hearing my news?" I asked, irritated.
"News?" A pause, "Oh yes, regarding the weakness of Hitokiri Battousai. We don't need it anymore."
I frowned slightly and said quietly, "What have I gone through all the trouble for..." What were they going to do? To Kenshin? Without his weakness?
"That's right. No matter how cold a killer he may be, there is not a single soul who does not want a conversation. His greatest weakness right now is you. He is on his way here now. Now that he knows the woman he loves is a traitor, his heart must be in chaos. He probably is unable to draw from his true inner strength right now. This is our true goal. Do you understand now?
"You knew that from the beginning..." You know that from the beginning he would fall in love for me... And I would be his weakness. I felt my blood boil with anger. Cowards... These people were cowards.
"What are you going to do about it?" I reached my tanto, suddenly, he disappeared right in front of me and I felt myself let go of my tanto and pushed on the floor. A metallic smell in my mouth. Liquid coming from the corner of my mouth. Blood. "Foolish of you. But you can't help it. People's desires are powerful. The stronger they are, the more beyond one's control they become. Perhaps the gap between love and hate is paper thin. This is the fate of people. In the face of fate, anyone is but an infant."
My legs and stomach hurts from that push he gave me. But I pushed myself up nonetheless. It was slow... and painful. "You know that much from the beginning." Yet, at that very second, I decided something... I wanted to die. Right then. I tried biting my tongue, but Tatsumi saw me. He stuffed his fingers in my mouth.
"Do not do it. It takes much determination to bite off your own tongue." My mouth was filled with blood, I smelt it, I tasted it. "Even if you killed yourself, what will you gain?" Freedom would be what I gain. At that very moment... There was a large explosion somewhere near the bottom of the mountains.
A single thought filled my mind. Kenshin...
Kimi wo, shiawase wa, ore wa mamoru – I will protect your happiness
XenoMark – The next chapter is the end of the whole series of the OVA. But it's not going to end yet. I might either end it there and make a sequel or continue it. Tell me what I should do! ^^
Kalus – It'll tell you whether Tomoe dies or not in two chapters.
Emotionless Shadow – You'll just have to see whether it ends a happy ending or not. I don't think I want to spoil it yet. And I have a few stuff for the next chapters I haven't thought about it. So... I hope to see you review my next chapter!
Tomoe Ayanami – We'll have to see, we'll have to see. Arigatou for the review!
Author's Notes: ****IMPORTANT**** I don't know whether I should end it after the series of OVA and make a sequel, or should I just keep writing this fic? I really need this idea! Thanks!