February 5, 2001

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own Team Rocket or any of the original Pokémon characters.  However, Neko-chan, Galaxia, Chan-saw, and Kiosuke are mine.

A Flu Good Rockets

By Nichole (Neko-chan) Johnson

PART THREE

"Gastly, go!"

In a blaze of crimson light the hazy, ghost Pokémon appeared, grinning wickedly at its opponents.

Ash blinked momentarily, thrown off by the young Rocket's choice of Pokémon.  "A Gastly?"  He seemed to recover his shock however, squaring his shoulders in determination.

"Alright then!  Charizard, I choose you!"

The large orange dragon roared challengingly, appearing on the field.

Neko seemed unfazed however.  She grinned knowingly to herself.  "Such a waste of power.  A pity…"  Arms crossed confidently, she gave Gastly a curt glance.  "Hypnosis, Gastly."

The Pokémon chuckled to itself, giving its master a cheeky nod.  Then it turned to its opponent, eyes narrowed evilly.  Glowing a ghostly blue, they emitted a wide band of hypnosis waves that hit the unsuspecting Charizard square in the eyes.

Ash watched his strongest Pokémon collapse like a rock in amazement, curling its tail around itself for comfort and going to sleep.

"No!  Charizard!"

Misty rolled her eyes dryly.  "Maybe you should have started with brains instead of brawn…"

Neko studied her kill with an appraising eye, tapping one finger to her chin artfully.  She turned to Kio, who had been patiently awaiting his turn, hands rested lazily on his hips.

"Well, I suppose I could give you a go and make this more interesting, neh?"

Kio grinned gamely, arching an eyebrow roguishly.  "Such humble generosity, kitten."

Across the field, Ash was already sending out his second Pokémon, anger written on his already determined face.  "You won't win that easily, Team Rocket!  Pikachu, show them your stuff!"

"Pikachu!"  Sparks flew as the little electric rat took the field.

Neko's eyes narrowed cautiously, but Kio ignored the threat, throwing his own Pokémon into the fray.

"Scyther!  Go!"

"Pikachu, Thundershock!"

The large, mantis-like Pokémon threw up its two blade-like arms just in time to block the small electric attack.

"Quick Attack, Scyther!"

"Sccyyy!"  Scyther leaped nimbly at the small Pokémon, slashing out with one vicious curving blade.  Pikachu leaped out of the way, but not quite in time, catching the wicked blow in the shoulder.

Ash grit his teeth angrily.  "Pikachu, Agility!"

Kio's eyebrows were narrowed in concentration.  "Swords Dance, Scyther!"

The small electric mouse was easily deflected by the fast whirling of the larger Pokémon.

"Get inside Scyther's attack, Pikachu!" commanded Ash quickly, seeing the Pokémon prepared to release its deadly attack.

As Scyther ceased its spinning, it let loose with a heavy rain of slicing blows.  But its attack was useless, as Pikachu easily dodged its razor-like arms.  It hit the insect Pokémon square on the hard breastplates of its chest, latching onto the grooves tightly with its claws.

Ash grinned victoriously.  "Thunder, Pikachu!"

The large jolt of electricity quickly took the bug and flying-type Pokémon out.

Kio growled angrily.  "Scyther, return!"

Ash was laughing victoriously, jumping around ridiculously as he ridiculed the beaten Rocket.  "Ha, that was ridiculous!  Everyone knows you don't use a flying-type against an electric-type!  You idiot!"

Kio rolled his eyes, calmly returning his single Pokéball to its place on his belt.  "Perhaps.  But I had nothing to lose."  He grinned smugly, motioning toward Neko and her Gastly who were calmly standing by, matching expressions of boredom on their faces.

"You see, we're not beaten yet."

"Think before you speak, lamebrain," grumbled Misty in embarrassment, rubbing her head.  Togepi looked distressed.

"Fine!  Pikachu, Thundershock that Gastly!"

The electric mouse shot a fast jolt of electricity in Gastly's direction but the Pokémon simply fazed out, the electricity shooting harmlessly through the air.

Neko took advantage of Ash's dumb shock, giving her partner a derisive look.

"You could have done a little damage, at least."

"Hey, Scyther got a hit in.  So sue me if my only Pokémon is weak against electricity."

She sighed dramatically, ignoring the one-sided battle going on in the background as Pikachu shot jolt after jolt of useless electricity and Gastly easily dodged it every time.

"Never send a man to do a woman's job…!"

"Hmm, at least they're putting up a good fight," commented Brock optimistically to Misty from the sideline.  The redhead nodded in agreement.

"Ash needed a good dose of reality."

"Pika!" growled Pikachu in irritation, getting annoyed with its opponent.

"Look, Neko, I know you're enjoying your twisted little self here, but do you think you could get this over with anytime soon?"

"Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on!"

"Are you sure you didn't mean it the other way around?"

"Bite me, Kio.  I'll deal with you later."  She extended a commanding arm in Gastly's direction.  "Confuse ray, Gastly, and catch it by surprise!"

Gastly obeyed gladly, sending Pikachu into a dazed confusion with a hard stare.

"Piii~~chuuu~~!" muttered Pikachu dazedly, stumbling drunkenly.

Gastly rolled about in laughter, tears in its eyes.

"Aw, Gastly's having fun!"

Kio tapped his foot impatiently.  "Neko, I'm going to get lock-jaw if I yawn anymore."

She rolled her eyes, imitating him mockingly.

Ash looked as confused as his Pokémon.  "Um, Quick Attack, Pikachu…"

Pikachu promptly smacked itself in the face, knocking itself off of its feet.  This succeeded in sending Gastly into greater fits of laughter, who was practically in pain by now.

"Urgh, moron…!" hissed Misty to herself, smacking her own forehead in disgust.

Brock looked up from the pot of stew he had been cooking while Ash got his butt whooped by the two strange Rocket members.  "Guess all Team Rocket members aren't the same."

"Nah!  First day luck!  We'll probably get screwed over soon!" shouted Kio from the other side of the field.

Neko nodded sternly.  "Wouldn't want to make Jess 'n James look bad, would we?"

"Yeah, we'll let them do that on their own."

"Pikachu, get up!" yelled Ash in panic.  The Pokémon spun its limbs uselessly, unable to right itself in its confused stupor.

Brock shook his head reprovingly.  "Too many frosted cupcakes after dinner."

"Alright, Gastly, Hypnosis!" Neko commanded reluctantly under Kio's forceful stare.

The electric mouse was soon asleep, alongside its fire-breathing comrade whom Ash had forgotten to return to its Pokéball.  Ash commenced to weep pathetically.

"Is Ash through getting his butt kicked yet?" asked Brock impatiently, looking up from the full dinner spread he had laid out.  "Dinner's getting cold."

"Aw, let's not wait for him.  Can you pass the butter?"

"Oh, screw this—"

"Ash, don't swear!"

"Shut up, Misty!"  Ash turned back to the two Rockets angrily.  "I'm sending all my Pokémon out against you losers!"

"Isn't it a little ridiculous to call us losers if we're winning so far?"

"Oh, you shut up too, girl!"

Neko sniffed.  "I have a name, y'know!"

"Well what is it then?!  I'm getting kind of sick sitting here trying to figure out what to call you guys!"

"Tell you later!"

"Tell me now!"

"No!"  The redhead gave him an akanbe.  "Gastly, hypnotize them all!  I'm getting tired!"

"Finally!" sighed Kio in relief.  Neko gave him a dirty look.

Misty looked up from her dinner hastily.  "Hey, could you wait until we're through with our dinner?"

"Yeah, the croissants get a bit stale if you don't eat them right away, and—"

All three were quickly silenced as Gastly released another wave of hypnosis waves and sent them all snoring.

Kio turned to Neko with a disdainful expression.  "We could have been through with this whole thing along time ago, you know."

"I know, but where's the fun in that?  I've heard so much about those brats, I wanted to give them a good taste of Rocket power!"

"'Thought you said you didn't want to outdo Jesse and James?"

She raised her chin imperiously.  "I'm not."

"You're a such hypocrite, you know?"

Neko grinned cutely, something she hadn't done for several days.  "I know!"

There was a strangely intent look in Kio's eyes at her behavior, but he didn't say anything.  Walking over to the two sleeping Pokémon in the middle of the field, he kicked at them experimentally with the toe of his boot.

"So now what do we do with them?"

Neko bounded over eagerly, giggling impishly to herself.  Oddly, she reminded him of Galaxia with the action but he brushed it away.

There was a mischievous glint in her stormy blue eyes as she looked up at him.  "Let's play a little joke on the brats…"

*           *           *

Galaxia watched the flames meditatively, a contemplative look on her lovely features that was only accented by the surreal glow of the orange flames

"I wonder what Neko-chan is up to…"

"Probably giving those brats a hard time," commented Jesse affectionately, coming up behind her.  She took a seat next to the blonde in front of the fire, gently cradling a cup of soup in her cupped hands.

Galaxia smiled at her wanly, turning back to the flames thoughtfully.  "More probably giving Kio a hard time."

Jesse smiled.  "Probably."  She sneezed lightly, making a sour expression of annoyance.  "Damn cold…"

"Think you'll be better in a day?"

"I wish.  But I doubt."

The blonde leaned back on her hands reflectively.  "I just feel a bit guilty ditching my best friend like that."

Jesse shrugged dismissively, sipping her soup carefully.  "Sometimes best friends need to be ditched."  When Galaxia looked a bit shocked, she shook her head in correction.  "Meaning, you can't always rely on each other."

"I see."

"Apparently you do.  Otherwise you wouldn't have done it, would you have?"  She smiled at the cadet good-naturedly.

The blonde shook her head.  "You're being wise tonight."

The redhead sighed heavily.  "It's the drugs!  They're having an Obi-Wan effect on me."

"I kind of like the effect," commented James wryly, coming over and wrapping a blanket around Jesse's shoulders.  He sat down as well, joining the two of them by the fire.

"Watch out, I might get philosophical on you."

Meowth looked up from across camp where he was getting a backrub from Mondo.  "What's ta philosophize about if ya heads full 'a mush?"

"Shut up, Meowth.  Don't think the ability to talk makes you intelligent."

"More intelligent dan da two of youse."

"Mondo, give him more painkillers."

"Sure, senpai!"

"Yeeaagh!"

James chuckled to himself.  The drugs and fever had left him strangely serious and subdued, so he didn't bother to join the argument.  "What's on your mind, G-chan?"

The blonde looked startled.  "Oh!  Nothing really."  She pursed her lips thoughtfully, realizing that both Jesse and James were still watching her intently.  "What?"

Both smiled, a bit sneakily.  "Why did you really send Kio with Neko?" asked Jesse.

The blonde smiled secretively.  "So that's what this is all about."  She sighed, laughing slightly to herself.  "Actually, I really did think he was better for the job.  I just never explained why."

"Go on."

She leaned back again, unable to stifle a yawn.  "Well, if I went with Neko, the two of us may be able to hold our own against the brats, but we wouldn't make as much of an impression because we get along so well and everything would go off smoothly.  I figured I needed a J/J factor."

James cocked an eyebrow quizzically.  "What is a 'J/J factor'?"

Galaxia giggled.  "Why, it's your factor!  The fact that you three, especially you two—" she pointed at Jesse and James—"…don't always get along so well.  It helps to confuse your enemies and unexpected problems arise."

A slow smile of understanding crept across Jesse's face.  "And in this situation, plenty of problems are helpful."

Galaxia nodded.  "Right!"

James looked impressed.  "Hey, I never knew you could be so smart, G-chan!  Your roots aren't really blonde, are they?"

"Hey!"  She giggled though.  "Nope.  Don't tell anyone though."

"Tell anyone what?!" yelled Meowth in curiosity.

"That you have fleas!" yelled back Jesse testily, finishing her soup.

"So that's why I stayed here and made Neko put up with Kio."

"What's the other reason?"

Galaxia tried to look innocent.  "What other reason?"

Jesse snorted derisively.  "You're a lousy liar, Galaxia.  I know you didn't just send Kio with Neko because you thought it would help the mission."

The blonde shifted uncomfortably.  "So maybe I wanted them to try and get along for once…"

James' eyes lit up suddenly in realization.  "Hey!  I get it!  You thought that the two of them might get together if they were alone!"  He laughed hysterically, amused with the thought.  "Ha, that's the funniest thing I ever heard!"

Jesse's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"It worked for you and Jess," spoke up Galaxia slyly.  James froze, an embarrassed look on his face.

"Oh.  Yeah."

Jesse hissed under her breath, annoyed.  "Idiot!"  She hit him over the head with her empty mug.

Galaxia sighed to herself, hugging her knees comfortably.  "Still, I guess James has a point.  It probably won't work.  After all, they don't just fight sometimes like you and James did; they seem to all-out hate each other."

James pulled himself back to a sitting position, rubbing his head sorely.  "You never know.  Perhaps they're both just afraid."

Jesse rolled her eyes.  "Now what are you muttering about, James?"

"Maybe they're afraid to trust each other."  He waved a finger admonishingly.  "You and I already trusted each other before we admitted our feelings.  Maybe they just need to pass that stage."

The redhead smiled gently and closed her eyes, shaking her head affectionately.  "Sometimes you surprise me, James-chan…"

"I don't know.  Maybe both of you are right," spoke up Galaxia doubtfully.  "But I think I was just being hopeful."

"Well, we'll see in a few days, won't we?" pointed out Jesse reassuringly.  She yawned, coughing slightly.  "In the meantime, I'm turning in for the night."

"Sounds like a good plan," voiced James lethargically.  Climbing to his feet, he helped Jesse to hers and the both of them left for the comfort of their sleeping bags.

Galaxia watched them go, trying to stifle a yawn of her own.  Unable to, she picked herself up as well and went to her own bedroll.

"We'll see…"

*           *           *

Ash moved his arms to stretch lengthily but found that he was unable to.  He opened one eye drowsily, trying to get a look at his surroundings and gasped in surprise at the realization that he was bound and gagged in a wedding dress.  Working his jaw frantically, he managed to loosen the gag from his mouth enough to shout in horror.

"WHAT AM I DOING IN A WEDDING DRESS??!!"

"Ash, keep your voice down!" hissed Misty frantically from somewhere nearby.  "Brock's still asleep!"

"WELL MAKE HIM WAKE UP!!  I WANNA' KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!"

There was an annoyed groan from nearby, supposedly Brock.  "Keep it down, I was trying to sleep…"  He sat up and Ash was finally able to spot him.  Apparently someone had tied him to the bottom of the dinner table and then flipped it over on its side, sticking a pair of now-stale dinner croissants in his pockets and tying a Hop-A-Long Cassidy cowboy hat around his neck.

"We don't know anymore than you, Ash!" spoke up Misty again.  He turned.  The redhead was dressed in a ridiculous looking chipmunk costume, arms tied over her head in an expression of surrender. 

She looked like she were getting ready to run a potato sack race, but without the potato sack.

The young trainer struggled angrily in his bonds, kicking his legs frantically in frustration.  "Aargh, this is all those Team Rocket losers' doing!!"

"Technically they're not losers because they—"

"Ah, I know, Brock!!  Lay off it already…"

"Hey, where are our Pokémon?" wondered Misty worriedly.

"Duh!  Those Team Rocket losers—"

"They didn't lose—"

"I KNOW!!"  He huffed in annoyance.  "Those Team Rocket people must have stolen them, of course!"  Ash struggled some more in his bonds, cursing Neko and Kio violently.

He stopped, realizing Brock and Misty were snickering to themselves.  "Hey, what's so funny?!"

Brock tried to hide his smile.  "It's just—"

"You look so stupid in that wedding dress!" snickered Misty, and the two of them burst out in hysterical laughter.

Ash growled threateningly.  "It's not funny!"  Both continued to laugh, ignoring him.  "Aargh!  Just help me get out of these ropes already!"

"Hey, stupid, we're kind of tied up too, you know!"

Ash sighed in annoyance.  "I think I actually miss the old Team Rocket…"

"No kidding.  At least they never tied me to the bottom of a dinner table."

"Oh, and this stupid costume isn't any worse?"  Misty pulled at her bonds angrily.  "Let's hurry and get out of these stupid things and go get our Pokémon back!"

"Pika!!  Pikachu!"

Ash blinked.  "Hey, where'd that come from?"

Misty looked perplexed.  "I…I think it came from that tree."

"Hey Pikachu, are you up in that tree?!"

The Pokémon made a sound of irritation.  "Chu!"

"I think Pikachu's tied up in that tree!"

Brock snorted derisively.  "Great detective work, Conan…"

"Prrriii!!"

Misty gasped.  "Togepi!"   She hopped over to the tree precariously, trying to look up.  "Aagh, my poor baby is up in a tree!"

"So why don't we get out of these stupid outfits and save them?"

"Then we're going to find those stupid Rockets and make them wear these stupid outfits!"

"I like that idea!"

"Alright!"  Ash was silent for a moment.  "Um, does anyone have something to untie these ropes with?"

Misty was quiet for a moment.  "No.  Do you?"

TO BE CONTINUED…

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