AN: I wrote this after last week's episode, after Rory goes to see Dean in
his room. The grammar sucks and I'm sorry about that, but I really wanted
to post it and I got really lazy-sorry. This probably sucks (I've NEVER
done a Dean POV, and I never thought I would. I'm die hard R/J) but I
wanted to give Dean his due. He's a good guy; he's just not the right guy.
Song-Cry by Faith Hill
COULD YOU CRY A LITTLE FOR ME?
I loved you more then anything. And seeing you with him; it just broke my heart. Did you even care? I love you so much. I loved you from the moment I saw you reading, so engrossed in a book that the world didn't matter. I thought that was amazing all the focus that you could have. And for a while I was the focus, but then, it was that very focus that broke me. All you could see was him. You couldn't see me anymore. You couldn't see how much I loved you. You couldn't see how much you were hurting me. I believe that. I believe that you never meant to hurt me, but that doesn't matter, because you did. I tried to tell you, but you couldn't listen, you couldn't see what you were doing. You were falling for him, and I loved you too much to admit it to myself. When? When did you stop seeing me? When did I loose you? Was it with Tristan? Was it Jess? Or was it me?
//If I had just one tear running down your cheek Maybe I could cope maybe I'd get some sleep If I had just one moment at your expense Maybe all my misery would be well spent//
Do you even care? Do you care that we're over? Do you? You have no idea how much I loved you. I loved you so much that I became this person that I didn't wanna be. I'm not a jealous guy, not when I knew that you loved me. But then he came, and you wanted him, and I can't stop hating him. But I can't blame him either. I know what it's like to be him. To see you, to love you, and want you. I was him once. I was bad once too. Your mother hated me too, just like she hates him. But you, you made me better. You made me want to do anything to be with you. So I followed the rules. That's how badly I wanted to be with you, and look where that got me. What now? You like him because no one else does. What else is there? sSo what happens when he starts following the rules to be with you? Are you then gonna move on to the next guy? To the next challenge? You've already beaten me. You'll beat him. And then what? God, you don't even know. You don't know how bad you make us want to be with you. You make us crazy. And you don't even know. You can't see. You don't want to see. I loved you, more then anyone else ever will. And you just....
//Yeah.... Could you cry a little Lie just a little Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain I gave now I'm wanting Something in return So cry just a little for me//
You said I was the perfect boyfriend, but I wasn't enough, was I? I would have done anything, ANYTHING for you. I would have been anything, I would have giving anything to make you love me. To make you look at me the way I always see you looking at him.
//If your love could be caged, honey I would hold the key And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me And you'd hunt those lies They'd be all you'd ever find And that'd be all you'd have to know For me to be fine//
You lied to me. You told me that you didn't want him, but I knew better. But I let you lie. I let you lie to me and to yourself. I kept hoping that maybe, just maybe, it would come true. If you told me that you loved me enough times, that it would be true again. But that was stupid wasn't it? Saying things over and over doesn't make them true. I can't even remember how many times you said you didn't want him, and we both know how that turned out.
//Yeah.... And you'd cry a little Die just a little and baby I would feel just a little less pain I gave now I'm wanting Something in return So cry just a little for me//
Are you even crying because you lost me, or are you crying because you think you should. Are you even crying? Do you even care? You want me to stop hating you, I don't even know if I do. I know that I still love you, and that makes me hate you.
//Give it up baby I hear your good-bye Nothing's gonna save me I can see it your eyes//
Are you with him? Of course you are, but I asked anyway. Hoping for that comforting lie I've become so accustomed to. Hoping I was wrong about everything. I'm not as smart as you Rory, but I'm not blind. I was hoping for a miracle, but I guess I only get one per lifetime. And my miracle was you. That you loved me. Once.
//Some kind of heartache Darlin' give it a try I don't want pity I just want what is mine//
He doesn't deserve you. He won't treat you the way I did. He won't love you the way I did. He can't, but you want him anyway. He's trouble. He'll never make you happy, and you know that, but you don't care. You want him anyway.
//Yeah... Could you cry a little Lie just a little Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain I gave now I'm wanting Something in return So cry just a little for me//
I want you to feel bad. I do. You deserve it. I want you to hurt, I want you to hurt exactly the way I am hurting. I hate you for what you've done to me, but I still love you. I don't want to, but I do. Do you care enough to feel bad? Or are you just so happy that I made your choice for you?
//Yeah... Could you cry just a little for me//
Song-Cry by Faith Hill
COULD YOU CRY A LITTLE FOR ME?
I loved you more then anything. And seeing you with him; it just broke my heart. Did you even care? I love you so much. I loved you from the moment I saw you reading, so engrossed in a book that the world didn't matter. I thought that was amazing all the focus that you could have. And for a while I was the focus, but then, it was that very focus that broke me. All you could see was him. You couldn't see me anymore. You couldn't see how much I loved you. You couldn't see how much you were hurting me. I believe that. I believe that you never meant to hurt me, but that doesn't matter, because you did. I tried to tell you, but you couldn't listen, you couldn't see what you were doing. You were falling for him, and I loved you too much to admit it to myself. When? When did you stop seeing me? When did I loose you? Was it with Tristan? Was it Jess? Or was it me?
//If I had just one tear running down your cheek Maybe I could cope maybe I'd get some sleep If I had just one moment at your expense Maybe all my misery would be well spent//
Do you even care? Do you care that we're over? Do you? You have no idea how much I loved you. I loved you so much that I became this person that I didn't wanna be. I'm not a jealous guy, not when I knew that you loved me. But then he came, and you wanted him, and I can't stop hating him. But I can't blame him either. I know what it's like to be him. To see you, to love you, and want you. I was him once. I was bad once too. Your mother hated me too, just like she hates him. But you, you made me better. You made me want to do anything to be with you. So I followed the rules. That's how badly I wanted to be with you, and look where that got me. What now? You like him because no one else does. What else is there? sSo what happens when he starts following the rules to be with you? Are you then gonna move on to the next guy? To the next challenge? You've already beaten me. You'll beat him. And then what? God, you don't even know. You don't know how bad you make us want to be with you. You make us crazy. And you don't even know. You can't see. You don't want to see. I loved you, more then anyone else ever will. And you just....
//Yeah.... Could you cry a little Lie just a little Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain I gave now I'm wanting Something in return So cry just a little for me//
You said I was the perfect boyfriend, but I wasn't enough, was I? I would have done anything, ANYTHING for you. I would have been anything, I would have giving anything to make you love me. To make you look at me the way I always see you looking at him.
//If your love could be caged, honey I would hold the key And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me And you'd hunt those lies They'd be all you'd ever find And that'd be all you'd have to know For me to be fine//
You lied to me. You told me that you didn't want him, but I knew better. But I let you lie. I let you lie to me and to yourself. I kept hoping that maybe, just maybe, it would come true. If you told me that you loved me enough times, that it would be true again. But that was stupid wasn't it? Saying things over and over doesn't make them true. I can't even remember how many times you said you didn't want him, and we both know how that turned out.
//Yeah.... And you'd cry a little Die just a little and baby I would feel just a little less pain I gave now I'm wanting Something in return So cry just a little for me//
Are you even crying because you lost me, or are you crying because you think you should. Are you even crying? Do you even care? You want me to stop hating you, I don't even know if I do. I know that I still love you, and that makes me hate you.
//Give it up baby I hear your good-bye Nothing's gonna save me I can see it your eyes//
Are you with him? Of course you are, but I asked anyway. Hoping for that comforting lie I've become so accustomed to. Hoping I was wrong about everything. I'm not as smart as you Rory, but I'm not blind. I was hoping for a miracle, but I guess I only get one per lifetime. And my miracle was you. That you loved me. Once.
//Some kind of heartache Darlin' give it a try I don't want pity I just want what is mine//
He doesn't deserve you. He won't treat you the way I did. He won't love you the way I did. He can't, but you want him anyway. He's trouble. He'll never make you happy, and you know that, but you don't care. You want him anyway.
//Yeah... Could you cry a little Lie just a little Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain I gave now I'm wanting Something in return So cry just a little for me//
I want you to feel bad. I do. You deserve it. I want you to hurt, I want you to hurt exactly the way I am hurting. I hate you for what you've done to me, but I still love you. I don't want to, but I do. Do you care enough to feel bad? Or are you just so happy that I made your choice for you?
//Yeah... Could you cry just a little for me//