Learning to Breathe
By: Silver Blood
Disclaimer: I'm not affiliated with The WB and I don't own anything. I also have no
claim to Switchfoot or the song "Learning to Breathe" but I love it. Please don't sue me.
Pairing: R/J and maybe L/L later on.
Summary: Rory has to make some choices.
Rory leaned against her headboard, closing her eyes. Once again, the moment that
had occurred just hours before ran through her mind.
"Oh God. Why?"
"Why what?"
Lorelai came into Rory's room, dressed in her favorite sweats and a SpongeBob t-shirt.
She looked slightly confused, and in a worse mood than usual.
"Never mind. It's nothing."
"Tell me."
"Mom!"
"Tell me!"
"It's no big deal."
Lorelai made a puppy dog face as she sat down on the bed. Rory could barely help but
smile.
"If you must know… Jess is back."
Lorelai froze.
"How do you know?"
Becoming serious, she scooted closer to Rory on the bed.
"He came to the wedding. I was so happy to see him at first but…."
Lorelai waited patiently for a minute.
"Sweetie..?"
Rory finally made eye contact with her mother, and she started to cry.
"I kissed him."
Lorelai didn't say anything; she just pulled Rory's shaking form in to her arms and held
her.
"Shh… Baby, it'll be okay, I promise."
They just sat there for a moment until Rory pulled away.
"How will it be okay? How will it ever be okay? "
Rory's voice was soft and heavy. Lorelai refused to make eye contact and sat in silence,
thinking the situation over. Finally, she spoke.
"You have two options. Be happy or don't be happy."
Rory stared at her mother, confusion evident in her eyes.
"What does that mean?"
Lorelai sighed.
"You still have a choice. You know that even if you tell Dean, sooner or later he will
forgive you and you'll stay together. But if you do that, then you will lose Jess. If you
want to be with Jess, then you have to tell Dean that. I'm afraid that either way; you will
lose one of them."
"I think I already have."
Lorelai frowned at Rory, her brow furrowed.
"What?"
"Even if, hypothetically, of course, I want to be with Jess, he may not want to be with
me. I just ran off on him and left him standing there."
"I think you just made your choice."
When Rory continued to look confused, Lorelai elaborated.
"You are more worried about losing Jess than losing Dean. I know you love them both,
but maybe you're not in love with Dean anymore."
Rory just sat there, pondering it all.
"I don't want to hurt Dean, but as strange as it sounds, I guess, deep down, the idea of
hurting Jess never really occurred to me. I can't hurt him. It would kill me inside."
"So you've made your choice. All you have to do now is tell Dean how you feel. Then
you're free to feel whatever you want."
The two girls sat for a moment, thinking. With a soft voice, Rory asked her mother a
question.
"Where is dad?"
Lorelai's heart broke.
"Sherry's pregnant."
Rory just nodded. Disappointed, but not that surprised that her father had found a way out
of this.
"Oh."
"Get some sleep, okay, kid?"
Rory nodded again, and as soon as her mother was gone, she buried her face in her
pillow. In a matter of minutes, she was asleep.
Lorelai, meanwhile, had gone to the kitchen and was sitting at the table, her head resting
in her arms, crying. Her sobs were pierced by the shrill sound of the phone ringing. She
rushed to get to the phone before the ringing awoke Rory.
"Hello?"
"Lorelai?"
Lorelai's heart raced.
"Yeah, it's me."
"This is Chris."
Lorelai rolled her eyes.
"Yeah."
There was a few seconds of awkward silence.
"Chris, what's gonna happen?"
She heard a sigh from the other end.
"Lorelai…"
Christopher's voice was filled with tears.
"I have to stay with Sherry. We're working things out. I don't want to make the same
mistake twice."
"You already did."
Christopher was silent.
"I still want to be involved in Rory's life. And I want Sherry to be, too."
"I can't believe you'd do this! You just broke my heart, and probably your daughter's, to
stay with this woman and you expect me to put up with her. Just stay away from me,
Chris. You can talk to Rory, and you can see her, of course, but I never want to see that
woman again."
"We're getting married."
"Screw you, Chris."
"Lor, Rory needs us to be friends, don't walk away!"
"You taught me how."
"Lor!"
"Good-bye, Chris. If you don't call Rory tomorrow and tell her yourself, I will personally
come out there and kick your ass."
The noise that Lorelai made as she slammed the phone down was quite possibly the most
deafening sound she had ever heard. Until she heard the silence that came next. She ran
up to her room, crying, and collapsed into her bed.
The Next Morning
************
Rory woke up to her mother's voice.
"Ouch! Damn it!"
"Mom?"
Rory called to her mother as she climbed out of bed.
"What happened?"
As she reached her door and surveyed the scene in front of her she laughed. Lorelai was
bouncing around on one foot, cradling the other, and a full can of Foldgers' lay on the
ground.
"Are you okay?"
Rory couldn't keep the laughter out of her voice.
"Glad to be your comic relief this morning."
Lorelai stopped bouncing and picked up the can. She scooped three scoops into the coffee
maker. She paused for a second and then threw in a third.
"What are you doing?"
Lorelai glanced at her daughter, still in her pajamas.
"Well, I figured Luke's was out until you talked to Dean, so I attempted to make coffee."
"You mean you figured Luke's was out until Luke stopped being pissed off at you."
"Well, that too. Sorry to wake you. I know it's early and it's your summer vacation."
Rory just shrugged.
"Its okay, I should talk to Dean before he goes to work anyway."
Lorelai fixed herself a cup of coffee and kissed Rory on the forehead.
"See you at five. Good luck, sweetie."
"See you mom."
Lorelai walked out the door and Rory turned back to her room and got dressed quickly.
She picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello?"
"Dean?"
"Rory?"
"Yeah. Hi."
"Hey, what's up?"
Rory could practically see him smiling. She tried not to cry.
"How long do you have until work?"
"About ten minutes, why?"
Rory hesitated, but she had made her decision.
"I'll meet you there in about five, okay?"
"Sure, is something wrong?"
"We have to talk. I'll be right there."
Rory hung up the phone without saying goodbye. She knew this was going to be hard, but
she had to do it. It just wasn't working. She didn't love him anymore.
Five Minutes Later
************
When Rory pulled up to Doose's market, the first thing she saw was Dean leaning against
the building. She got out of the car and walked over to him.
"hey!"
Dean went to kiss her on the cheek, but she moved out of the way quickly.
"We have to talk."
His smile faded a little.
"Why? What's wrong?"
Rory took a deep breath and looked into Dean's eyes.
"This isn't working. I'm really sorry, but I think we should break up."
Dean looked at her, stunned.
"Where did this come from? What is this about, Rory? I thought you were happy!"
"So did I."
Rory looked down at his feet.
"What's going on, Rory? Is this about Jess? Is it? You think that he came back for you
and you owe him something? You don't Rory. I love you. Please don't do this."
Rory just took the key to her car and handed it to him. Then she took her bracelet out of
her pocket, and gave him that too.
"He'll never love you, Rory. Not like I do."
Tears burned behind her eyes and she glared at him.
"You don't know him."
With that, she she walked away. As soon as she got home, she ran into her
room and collapsed onto her bed. She was amazed to find that she didn't feel like crying.
She just needed to call Jess. He picked up on the third ring.
"Luke's."
"Hey."
At the diner, Jess's heart raced.
"Hey. Rory. What's up?"
There was an edge to his voice that he didn't like.
"I need to talk to you, can you come over?"
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes?"
"All right. See you then."
Jess hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket, heading towards the door.
"Hey, Jess."
He turned to face his uncle.
"Good luck."
Jess smiled one of his rare genuine smiles, which Luke had never seen, and made his way
out the door, starting the walk towards the girl that may or may not be his future.
By: Silver Blood
Disclaimer: I'm not affiliated with The WB and I don't own anything. I also have no
claim to Switchfoot or the song "Learning to Breathe" but I love it. Please don't sue me.
Pairing: R/J and maybe L/L later on.
Summary: Rory has to make some choices.
Rory leaned against her headboard, closing her eyes. Once again, the moment that
had occurred just hours before ran through her mind.
"Oh God. Why?"
"Why what?"
Lorelai came into Rory's room, dressed in her favorite sweats and a SpongeBob t-shirt.
She looked slightly confused, and in a worse mood than usual.
"Never mind. It's nothing."
"Tell me."
"Mom!"
"Tell me!"
"It's no big deal."
Lorelai made a puppy dog face as she sat down on the bed. Rory could barely help but
smile.
"If you must know… Jess is back."
Lorelai froze.
"How do you know?"
Becoming serious, she scooted closer to Rory on the bed.
"He came to the wedding. I was so happy to see him at first but…."
Lorelai waited patiently for a minute.
"Sweetie..?"
Rory finally made eye contact with her mother, and she started to cry.
"I kissed him."
Lorelai didn't say anything; she just pulled Rory's shaking form in to her arms and held
her.
"Shh… Baby, it'll be okay, I promise."
They just sat there for a moment until Rory pulled away.
"How will it be okay? How will it ever be okay? "
Rory's voice was soft and heavy. Lorelai refused to make eye contact and sat in silence,
thinking the situation over. Finally, she spoke.
"You have two options. Be happy or don't be happy."
Rory stared at her mother, confusion evident in her eyes.
"What does that mean?"
Lorelai sighed.
"You still have a choice. You know that even if you tell Dean, sooner or later he will
forgive you and you'll stay together. But if you do that, then you will lose Jess. If you
want to be with Jess, then you have to tell Dean that. I'm afraid that either way; you will
lose one of them."
"I think I already have."
Lorelai frowned at Rory, her brow furrowed.
"What?"
"Even if, hypothetically, of course, I want to be with Jess, he may not want to be with
me. I just ran off on him and left him standing there."
"I think you just made your choice."
When Rory continued to look confused, Lorelai elaborated.
"You are more worried about losing Jess than losing Dean. I know you love them both,
but maybe you're not in love with Dean anymore."
Rory just sat there, pondering it all.
"I don't want to hurt Dean, but as strange as it sounds, I guess, deep down, the idea of
hurting Jess never really occurred to me. I can't hurt him. It would kill me inside."
"So you've made your choice. All you have to do now is tell Dean how you feel. Then
you're free to feel whatever you want."
The two girls sat for a moment, thinking. With a soft voice, Rory asked her mother a
question.
"Where is dad?"
Lorelai's heart broke.
"Sherry's pregnant."
Rory just nodded. Disappointed, but not that surprised that her father had found a way out
of this.
"Oh."
"Get some sleep, okay, kid?"
Rory nodded again, and as soon as her mother was gone, she buried her face in her
pillow. In a matter of minutes, she was asleep.
Lorelai, meanwhile, had gone to the kitchen and was sitting at the table, her head resting
in her arms, crying. Her sobs were pierced by the shrill sound of the phone ringing. She
rushed to get to the phone before the ringing awoke Rory.
"Hello?"
"Lorelai?"
Lorelai's heart raced.
"Yeah, it's me."
"This is Chris."
Lorelai rolled her eyes.
"Yeah."
There was a few seconds of awkward silence.
"Chris, what's gonna happen?"
She heard a sigh from the other end.
"Lorelai…"
Christopher's voice was filled with tears.
"I have to stay with Sherry. We're working things out. I don't want to make the same
mistake twice."
"You already did."
Christopher was silent.
"I still want to be involved in Rory's life. And I want Sherry to be, too."
"I can't believe you'd do this! You just broke my heart, and probably your daughter's, to
stay with this woman and you expect me to put up with her. Just stay away from me,
Chris. You can talk to Rory, and you can see her, of course, but I never want to see that
woman again."
"We're getting married."
"Screw you, Chris."
"Lor, Rory needs us to be friends, don't walk away!"
"You taught me how."
"Lor!"
"Good-bye, Chris. If you don't call Rory tomorrow and tell her yourself, I will personally
come out there and kick your ass."
The noise that Lorelai made as she slammed the phone down was quite possibly the most
deafening sound she had ever heard. Until she heard the silence that came next. She ran
up to her room, crying, and collapsed into her bed.
The Next Morning
************
Rory woke up to her mother's voice.
"Ouch! Damn it!"
"Mom?"
Rory called to her mother as she climbed out of bed.
"What happened?"
As she reached her door and surveyed the scene in front of her she laughed. Lorelai was
bouncing around on one foot, cradling the other, and a full can of Foldgers' lay on the
ground.
"Are you okay?"
Rory couldn't keep the laughter out of her voice.
"Glad to be your comic relief this morning."
Lorelai stopped bouncing and picked up the can. She scooped three scoops into the coffee
maker. She paused for a second and then threw in a third.
"What are you doing?"
Lorelai glanced at her daughter, still in her pajamas.
"Well, I figured Luke's was out until you talked to Dean, so I attempted to make coffee."
"You mean you figured Luke's was out until Luke stopped being pissed off at you."
"Well, that too. Sorry to wake you. I know it's early and it's your summer vacation."
Rory just shrugged.
"Its okay, I should talk to Dean before he goes to work anyway."
Lorelai fixed herself a cup of coffee and kissed Rory on the forehead.
"See you at five. Good luck, sweetie."
"See you mom."
Lorelai walked out the door and Rory turned back to her room and got dressed quickly.
She picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello?"
"Dean?"
"Rory?"
"Yeah. Hi."
"Hey, what's up?"
Rory could practically see him smiling. She tried not to cry.
"How long do you have until work?"
"About ten minutes, why?"
Rory hesitated, but she had made her decision.
"I'll meet you there in about five, okay?"
"Sure, is something wrong?"
"We have to talk. I'll be right there."
Rory hung up the phone without saying goodbye. She knew this was going to be hard, but
she had to do it. It just wasn't working. She didn't love him anymore.
Five Minutes Later
************
When Rory pulled up to Doose's market, the first thing she saw was Dean leaning against
the building. She got out of the car and walked over to him.
"hey!"
Dean went to kiss her on the cheek, but she moved out of the way quickly.
"We have to talk."
His smile faded a little.
"Why? What's wrong?"
Rory took a deep breath and looked into Dean's eyes.
"This isn't working. I'm really sorry, but I think we should break up."
Dean looked at her, stunned.
"Where did this come from? What is this about, Rory? I thought you were happy!"
"So did I."
Rory looked down at his feet.
"What's going on, Rory? Is this about Jess? Is it? You think that he came back for you
and you owe him something? You don't Rory. I love you. Please don't do this."
Rory just took the key to her car and handed it to him. Then she took her bracelet out of
her pocket, and gave him that too.
"He'll never love you, Rory. Not like I do."
Tears burned behind her eyes and she glared at him.
"You don't know him."
With that, she she walked away. As soon as she got home, she ran into her
room and collapsed onto her bed. She was amazed to find that she didn't feel like crying.
She just needed to call Jess. He picked up on the third ring.
"Luke's."
"Hey."
At the diner, Jess's heart raced.
"Hey. Rory. What's up?"
There was an edge to his voice that he didn't like.
"I need to talk to you, can you come over?"
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes?"
"All right. See you then."
Jess hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket, heading towards the door.
"Hey, Jess."
He turned to face his uncle.
"Good luck."
Jess smiled one of his rare genuine smiles, which Luke had never seen, and made his way
out the door, starting the walk towards the girl that may or may not be his future.