Title: To Love Again -Chapter 2 --Hidden Love

Disclaimers: I don't own Saiyuki I just "borrow" them for this fic ^^

Author's thoughts: Ahh..... since its suppose to be angst I have decided to make thing a *little* complicated.....Time for a little back to the past 500 years ago.... I'm really making this complicated, maybe I'll lengthen this fiction..... dun kill me and make me into meat balls pls ;_; I already got a friend who wants to do that to me .... {Sei run and hide in a dustbin where no one will find her) Now on with the story. Again some minor spoiler ahead..... a bit of Gaiden.......

Hakkai x Goku

Hidden Love

500 years ago

"Tenpou, I didn't know you adore kids...."

Tenpou sat quietly in his room, his eyes on the book in his hands, but his mind somewhere else. "Goku..... someone who can gain enlightenment from nothing...." He didn't even notice Kenren had entered his room after apparently knocking on his door for a fruitless 10 minutes. Kenren knew Tenpou was probably too engrossed in his reading again, so he decided it was futile to call him, instead he put the papers that needed him to sign in front of him covering the opened book. Kenren paused, Tenpou's eyes were still on the book, which was already covered by the documents.

"Earth calling Tenpou Gensui......" Kenren said aloud and decided since Tenpou was obviously not listening, his mind drifting in outer space, he shook Tenpou's shoulder to bring his friend out of the whatever trance he was in. "Ahh... Kenren." Tenpou gave a half-hearted smile, "What's this?" He asked pointing at the documents in front of him. "Something you'll have to sign as usual...." Kenren said as he lit the cigarette and took a deep puff out of it. There was an odd silence there. It was way too strange. Kenren thought why was Tenpou so quiet all the sudden, alright he was always quiet but this was a little strange. Kenren watched Tenpou signed the papers half-heartedly and passed lazily back to him. Deciding Tenpou wasn't probably going to say anything, Kenren gave him a smile and started to move to the door. Half way through, he stopped.

"Kenren..." Tenpou said, his voice soft yet it felt so dark and secretive. "What?" Kenren closed the already half opened door and faced Tenpou.

"Have you heard about the young boy that was brought to Heaven recently?"

"What boy?"

Tenpou smirk, if it had been a beautiful woman, maybe Kenren would take more notice of it.

"A boy named Goku, born out of a rock, he's now in the care of Konzen."

"Konzen?" Kenren mouth twitched a little. "Konzen Douji? That boring guy you have been telling me about?"

"That's right." Tenpou said, his eyes never leaving the opened book back in his hands.

"So what's about this boy?"

".....He had golden eyes......"

"What...?" The mention of golden eyes sparked some interest and surprise in Kenren, it was rumored those born with golden eyes could either be a blessing to Heaven or a threat, but most would treat it more like a heretic.

"So..... what's he doing with that boring Konzen anyway?" Kenren asked, he could never imagine having a guy like Konzen to care for a child, since Konzen was already a well-known "no-life" guy.

"Apparently he was 'forced' to take care of the boy by the order of Kanzeon Bosatsu."

"Ah I see, that explained a lot..... so how's the boy like?" Kenren knew there must be something that caused Tenpou to suddenly talked about this mysterious boy called Goku. Tenpou was never really interested in real people, he was always more engrossed with his books, with the human history.

"Playful, energetic and loveable...." Tenpou smiled as the image of Goku appeared in his mind.

"Something about him attracted you....?" Kenren decided to ask more direct since Tenpou would probably be playing his hard-to-figure-it-out chat.

"Nope." Tenpou smiled and lifted his eyes to look at the Taisho in front of him, taking out a cigarette to smoke, and gave a little sigh, probably hinting to Kenren that he wanted to end this little chat they were having. Sensing this, Kenren smiled and started toward the door again. "I should be going, have to pass these documents to that dragon boy, if not he'll be hounding me non-stop for it."

Tenpou watched the door closed. "Attract me?.........Love at first sight?" He thought. He could see why Konzen liked that boy so much, those playfulness, innocent, and naive character in Goku. He brought something that couldn't be found in Heaven anymore. *Innocence* He brought joy (though Konzen would never admit it) and laughers, happiness and changes. He changed Konzen.

And Tenpou knew, from the way Goku looked at Konzen, from the way he wanted so much to hold his hands, yet so afraid, and holding his long golden hair instead..... Tenpou knew, no matter how much he could try, Goku would never be his. Konzen had told him, when he first met the boy, Goku had said Konzen looked like the sun. "The sun in his life...?" Tenpou managed a weak smile. "It would never be me....."

*****************

He had ran after Goku after he heard his conversation with Konzen about Nataku. He didn't notice Konzen wasn't behind him anymore, he just kept running. He charged toward Litouten, trying to slash him up, why? He wanted to protect Goku, and its the only thing he could do..... to express his hidden love.

He wanted Goku..... though he never said it out. He wanted him more than anything...... but Konzen was there. There in Goku's eyes, there in Goku's heart. Goku's sun.....

How could he bear to do it....? Snatch Goku away? Shattered his friendship with Konzen, and having Kenren scolding him an idiot.... and most of all hurting Goku, he couldn't do it..... and after 500 years, as Cho Hakkai...... he still couldn't do it. Do something he couldn't do 500 years ago, he couldn't bring himself to love Goku..... Now even if things had changed he still couldn't do it.....

Kanan......

To be continue

Ending Author's notes: Well what do you all think? I thought adding in a little Gaiden would be nice, making it more angst..... Was trying to think what to write for chapter 2 when this idea popped up.... Tenpou sounded a little OCC here but hope everyone doesn't mind. This fiction will probably end up being long..... uhhhhh review me tell me if you all still want the story to go on to a few more chapters, if not I'll think of how to end this in the next chapter or two.