Seifer sat at the table, thumbing through what seemed to be an entire edition of News Magazine devoted to exploring the atrocious crimes of the Third Sorceress War--better known now as The Ultimecia Campaign. There seemed to be a pattern--someone had gone through and systematically highlighted the names of the Galbadian officials who had been tried in any of the world courts in yellow, and those who had not been tried in blue.
So far, he had only run across one name in blue. His.
Reading through the magazine, he frowned as he saw the records of what the Galbadian government had done under his command. These were the worst war crimes in history--which brought up a question. Why try the Generals, the Cabinet, the President's Aides--why try everyone involved right down to the commanders of the mission to take the Dollet Radio Tower--and forget the Sorceress's Knight, spearhead of the operation, former President Pro Tempore of Galbadia?
There was something subtly wrong about this.
Come to think of it--he had never been held to fault for any of his actions. SeeD had never tried to extradite him, Galbadia had never offloaded its blame onto him, Esthar had never sent troops after him, goddamn it, even the guy who handled his request to rent a house had given him no more than an awkward glance! And yet, by all the accounts he had read, he was being blamed for a good part of the Ultimecia fiasco.
It was one of those times when two and two weren't quite adding up to four. And he didn't like it at all.
Grabbing his trenchcoat from its hanger on the wall, he stepped outside in search of a lawyer. He needed some parts of this thing cleared up--even if he had to empty his account to do it.
~
Nida jumped as a book landed lightly on the table in front of him, and looked up to see a very distraught Quistis sitting down across from him. He blinked a few times to make sure that he wasn't hallucinating, then put down the report he was working on. "So...?" he asked.
"What?" Quistis seemed a bit taken aback.
"Nobody ever comes and sits with me when there are other empty tables available. It's kinda scary now that you're the first."
Quistis glanced away. "Can I--can I ask you something?"
Nida blinked. "Whoa. You're the first person who's ever asked me for advice, too."
"Do you think I'm pathetic?" Quistis blurted. More blinks followed from Nida.
"Maybe you need some more sleep," he said. "You don't sound too good."
"I'm fine," Quistis said, blue-grey eyes boring into him like pneumatic drills. "Do you?"
Nida shook his head. "I don't even know you," he said. "Remember me? I'm the guy who sits around and flies the Garden? The one no one ever notices? What makes you think that I would form any opinions regarding other people?"
"I thought--" Quistis trailed off. Nida sighed.
"Look. If there's anything I can do to help, just ask. But honestly, I can't see why you'd be more pathetic than the next guy." He thought for a moment, then his face lit up with a grin as artificial as holiday lights. "Hey! If you find out that you're pathetic, you can come join me in my little den of iniquity! We can be pathetic together!"
Quistis quietly picked up her book and exited the premises. Nida glanced after her, and shrugged.
"Well, I thought that it was a fair offer," he muttered to himself.
~
Quistis retreated into her room, locking the door behind her. It felt terrible, this not-knowing--the uncertainty that consumed her any time she saw someone casting her a glance in the halls. She had tried to ignore it, like Xu said she should; but there was something inside that demanded a definitive answer. She had to know--yes, or no? Uncertainty wasn't acceptable.
She couldn't go on like this.
Once again, she sought refuge in the familiar warmth of the blankets. Turning off the lights and plunging the room into darkness, she shivered inside her sanctuary. The question danced round in her head, making her clutch the wrappings tighter around herself and squeeze her eyes shut so tightly that they hurt.
I can't go on like this....
A tear dropped into the blanket, and she drew herself into a tighter ball. A part of her argued that it isn't that important--who cares what they think--but she couldn't hear it over the part of her that begged for a resolution, any resolution, as long as it wasn't true.
She wanted to cry herself to sleep, but sleep was a long time coming.
"Quistis, you can't possibly expect to be able to take Bendon Gansarro's word for anything of value! He's an emotional bully...."
"...she's pretty enough, but... Hyne, she is so pathetic..."
"...can't see why you'd be more pathetic than the next guy...."
"...I don't date losers...."
"...we can be pathetic together!"
Yes.
"...so pathetic...."
No!
Yes.
No....
....
"...losers...."
....
"...be pathetic together!"
...?
...yes.
She dissolved into tears.