A/N: Thank you so much for all the great reviews! You have no idea how thrilled I was to get them.

Joey Tribbiani

Joey leaned back against the arm of the couch, laughing hysterically. Phoebe had just told him an anecdote about one of her first days in the accounting business.

"Oh, I haven't laughed this hard in years," Phoebe said, wiping her eyes.

"Me either," Joey said. "Hey, I'm getting hungry. Where's Monica and everyone else?"

"Well, Mon and Ross went to the grocery store, Chandler's outside on his cell phone, and I don't really know where Rachel is," Phoebe said.

"Mmm. So... we're all alone," Joey said.

"Yeah," Phoebe said, raising her eyebrows.

"Remember what we used to do when we were all alone?"

"Vividly," Phoebe said demurely. Moments later, they were running up to Joey's room and landing on the bed, kissing.

"Dear God, Pheebs, I missed this," Joey said, taking a breath.

"You know, they call this 'friends with benefits' these days," Phoebe said, slipping out of her sundress.

"Friends with benefits. I like that."

"Yeah, it's better than 'sex partners,'" Phoebe said.

Chandler

Dinner came and went. As Monica reached across the table to pick up a bowl of rice, her arm brushed against his, and Chandler shivered. He still had that affect on her, after all these years - in was unbelievable.

"Drinks, anybody?" Phoebe said, opening the refrigerator. This comment pulled Chandler from his reverie and sent him crashing back to earth. "Goodness, Rach, you've got a whole liquor cabinet here!" Chandler moaned silently. A whole liquor cabinet! How tempting was that!

"I'll have a scotch on the rocks with a twist," Monica said.

"Same thing, but no twist," Ross said.

"Let's see, I'll have a sour apple martini," Rachel said, standing up to make her own drink. "Joe?"

"Just a Corona for me, thanks," Joey replied.

"Chandler?" Phoebe asked.

"None for me, thanks,'' Chandler said gruffly.

"Aw, come on," Rachel said, elbowing him as she walked by. "There's plenty! Get sloshed tonight, man."

"No, I'm fine," Chandler said.

"You need to loosen up, man," Joey said as he took a drink of his beer. "You're so tense. Have a beer."

"I'd rather not," Chandler said, his tone a little harsher than expected.

"Whoa, there it is again," Ross teased. "You look like you're heads gonna explode, Chandler. A drink will - "

"I don't want anything to drink!" Chandler yelled, then stormed from the room and out onto the porch. He leaned against the railing, breathing hard. Problems, not solutions... that's what they'd said. But him refusing a drink in there, that had caused a problem, caused him to look like an idiot, caused...

Monica to follow him. He knew it was here when he felt the hand on his shoulder. "What's the matter?"

Chandler kept staring out at the waves that were crashing gently against the sand, not moving a muscle. Monica went to stand next to him. "Chandler. Are you okay? What did they say?"

"Nothing," Chandler said, his voice squeaky. "I'm fine." He went and sat down on the steps, sticking his feet into the cool sand. Monica sat next to him, but he continued to gaze ahead, staring out at the sand and the water.

"I talked to you," she said. "It's your turn."

"I'd rather not," Chandler said, half-smiling.

"You have to," Monica said, and Chandler couldn't tell if she was serious. "Come on."

Chandler sighed heavily, finding he wanted to tell her. "All right. Okay." He turned to Monica. "I just got out of rehab two months ago. I was a drunk. The real deal. Living in a tiny apartment, going to the meetings, 'My name is Chandler and I'm an alcoholic,' the whole thing. When you guys left, I just - I don't know. I didn't have anyone to stop me from destroying myself. You were... all I ever had. I was always drinking, always getting myself into trouble. I knew I was in a downward spiral but I didn't care enough to stop. For four years, I drank every night. Four years, Monica. I've just about blanked out on four years of my life. Well, about five months ago, I drove my boss's car into his house. I was arrested and went to rehab. I wasn't hurt too badly, but I just about lost my job. That woke me up. I had nothing, I was nothing, and I would never be anyone again unless I stopped drinking. So I stopped. I've been sober for 89 days, and then the guys in there, they made it so tempting..." Chandler stopped, seeing the expression on Monica's face. "I'm sorry I freaked out."

"Why? Why didn't you tell us?" Monica asked quietly. "We could have helped you - I could have helped you."

"You all had lives and husbands and jobs. You didn't want to be bothered with a crazy drunk like me," Chandler said, biting his lip.

"You never used to drink! You hated it! You said it was because you're parents always fought when they were drunk, always did crazy things. What made you start drinking?" Monica asked.

"Losing you," Chandler said honestly. "After that night we... I just couldn't get you out of my head. And then you married that Daniel guy a couple months later and everybody moved away... I knew I could never have you, even though I wanted you so badly." Chandler had never been so open and honest with one of his friends in his entire life.

Monica slowly raised her hands to her mouth. "Oh my God. Chandler, I'm so sorry," she cried, then hugged him, burying her head in his shoulder.

"It's okay," Chandler said patting her back. She fit so well into him - her hair smelled like a mix of her flowery shampoo and the salty air... as she slowly pulled away, her lips brushed against his. He leaned forward, wanting more... but then stopped.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his mouth just centimeters from hers. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Monica said. They were leaning closer again when there was a loud thump and the door to the porch opened.

"Hey, you guys okay out here?" Ross asked, staring wildly from his sister to his friend. Chandler let his eyes fall. Ross had seen them and now he was going to kill Chandler. Chandler laughed silently.

"We're fine, Ross," Monica said. They looked up at her brother, who was still standing above them. "Could ya give us a sec?"

"I guess," Ross said, and turned away.

"Listen, Chandler, if you ever need to talk... I'm here. You know that, right? No matter what time, day or night... even when we go back home. Call me."

Chandler nodded. She was there.

Is it better to have loved and lost, or to have never loved at all?

A/N: Sorry this chapter was so short. I have several more chapters written, so when I get some more reviews, I'll post the next chapter! Thanks!