Driving Me Crazy

~Part One: Lily's Revenge~

Chapter Two: Feeling the Strain

"Are you alright, Lily?" asked Sky Winkkin, my best friend.

I looked up at her, not knowing what to say. Of course I wasn't "alright". I was angry, and mad. I suppose I was a little crazy, too. But who wouldn't be? I was tempted to scream when she repeated the question. Instead, I responded with:

"Sure, I'm fine, a bit depressed, that's all." I think she knew that I was lying, but I didn't care, I just sank my head lower into the super-soft arm-chair, soon disappearing altogether as I fell within the folds. It was here that I let myself think. No, I was certainly not alright. Even the teachers had noticed, though I doubted that they couldn't have, even if they'd not wanted to. Lily Evans, often called brilliant, almost always top of her class, was quickly falling lower and lower. Sinking down further than she had into this chair. Not bothering to do homework, not bothering to study - not even bothering to come to class. Lily was tired of everything, and she hated everyone. Even Sky, who had been constantly asking "how she was". It was becoming tiresome, hearing people say how worried about her they were, and all she saw was the scorn. When those people looked at her they didn't see Lily Evans, the student, anymore; they saw Lily, the flower slut.

Sinking even deeper, she tried to cease her thoughts, yet they were in too much turmoil. Lily couldn't remember the last time she'd had a proper sleep. She had spent all her nights seething with anger at all the injustices performed to her. Well, now she had found her revenge.

Sirius had said yes.

She was meeting him tomorrow. Or was it today? Lily didn't know the time, and didn't bother to look for it. What was the point, she wondered, sleepily. Thinking of revenge, Lily drifted into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning in her make shift bed. Tormented dreams of red, in which she shifted through emotions of envy, fear, sadness, loss and fury were all upsetting in their own way. Waking occasionally from the horrors of her thoughts, she would drift away from her nightmares, dreaming of peace and hope. Nothing was constant, however, and she continued to stumble her way through the dreams all night.

Salty tears trickled down cheeks flushed with red rage, swallowed up by the thick cushions of her cage.

***//\\//\\***

Sky looked down to her friend, slowly sinking further into the soft chair, and worried. She wasn't used to having to try and support someone. It had always seemed that Lily would be the strong one. Sky easily admitted to herself that she was very dependent on Lily, though now it was hard, as Lily didn't seem so reliable anymore. Hearing some muttering, she looked over to her friend, seeing only some legs and feet poking out of the chair.

"Die, Severus, please, Die..."

And there was the problem, right there. Sky had never really liked Severus, he had always seemed a bit eccentric, obsessed with his hatred of James Potter and that group. Some of his instability must have rubbed off onto Lily, though Sky thought that anyone would be unstable after being hurt that badly. Yet still... Sky sighed. She didn't know how to pull Lily out of this angry phase, but she didn't want Lily to do anything rash. Lily was her friend, and she still respected her, no matter how badly Lily was behaving.

Sitting up, Sky returned to her homework. While Lily was slacking off, Sky didn't think that she had the same excuse, though her work standard, too, had decreased - though perhaps that was due to the more prominent reason that she no longer had Lily there to help her. Without realizing it, Sky stuck out her tongue and began the question - a particularly nasty one set by the potions master about why dragon's blood was used in the process of human to animal transfiguration...

***//\\//\\***

They all sat in the massive armchairs that surrounded the fire. Most of the other Gryffindors had gone off to bed, so James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew nearly had the massive room to themselves. They were discussing a girl called Lily Evans. Before today, none of them had really even considered her existence – certainly never spoken more than a sentence with the girl. Now it seemed that they all knew of her, for today she had spoken with each of them.

Sirius whistled, "It's a shame she's crazy. It would have been nice to get to know a girl that gorgeous a bit better." James didn't look interested, the girl was off her rocker, and he didn't need to get any closer to know that. Peter seemed inquisitive, if a mite shy – the girl had rather startled him. Sirius continued to voice his thoughts. "I'll help her, though, it seems we have to, and at least we'll be rid of Snape."

James looked up, sharply. "You're not serious, are you? I hate to be the voice of reason, but this is simply too dangerous. If Remus isn't kicked out of the school, we can at least be sure that WE will be. And, as you said, she's bonkers!"

Sirius gave James a sour look, "You hate to be the 'Voice of Reason', James? Listen, I am the one being reasonable! The damn witch has blackmailed us. It seems we'll be helping her, no matter what. Besides, we will be getting rid of Severus, you can't forget that."

"What did you s-say?" Asked Peter. "She's w - what?" He stuttered, confused.

"Blackmailed us," replied Sirius, slightly angry, slightly awed.

"What?" Mocked James. "Has she decided to reveal some of our pranks? Or is it you she's blackmailing, perhaps she's learnt all about your little exploit-" James broke off, hunched in agony from the kick he'd received from Sirius. "Oww... that wasn't fair!"

Sirius merely raised his eyebrows at him, then shifted the chair closer to the fire for warmth. "I'm not speaking about what's fair, because what she's done is extraordinarily un-fair. As I've said, she's blackmailed us. If we don't help her, she'll start screaming "Wolf!" and then where will we be? Certainly without Remus."

James, who was still grimacing in pain, managed to glare in annoyance at the same time. Peter looked frightened, he'd tucked himself into a little ball and sat there, shivering every so often.

"Don't look so worried, Peter," James consoled, "We'll figure something out, I'm certain of it." James looked over to Sirius, who didn't have the appearance of being so optimistic. His eyebrows were close together, while he sat with his head down, brooding.

"I say we go with it," Sirius spoke suddenly. "If we do it properly, no one will get in trouble, and, you have to remember, we will be rid of Snape altogether, and have this girl off our backs." James smiled at the thought of losing Snape, though soon frowned in worry.

"This would have to be the most punishable thing we've ever considered committing. I mean, think about it - we're going to kill Snape. Or at least do something that will have the same result, though I suppose he might just be bitten and become a werewolf… Is that really something that we want to happen, though?" James queried. He didn't know for certain what he wanted. All he could think about was the mad glint in the girl's green eyes whenever she had spoken about what she planned. He'd never worried about something so much in his life.

"Aww, James! Don't be such a stick-in-the-mud! If we concentrate and think it through, this might work," Sirius admonished. "I'm meeting the girl tomorrow. Let's see what happens, maybe she'll be over it be then."

Yet James wasn't concentrating now, he was thinking more about her name, Lily Evans - where had he heard it before. Slowly, a wicked grin appeared on his face.

"Lily Evans - isn't she the 'Flower Slut' or something? 'Uglier than a flower, worse than one in bed!' Now I know where I heard that name: wasn't Severus muttering about it?" James asked.

In response, Sirius grinned. "Don't mention it around her, though - she'll kill you!"

"I'll bet," James was still smiling. But then, more to himself, he muttered, "No wonder she hates him."

***//\\//\\***

Strained muscles screamed down her back, complaining at their abuse as she tried to struggle out of the chair. During the night she must have gotten some sleep, for now the sun streamed into the common room, hurting her bleary eyes. She couldn't remember having dreamt, yet for some unknown reason felt unsettled, as though her dreams had been troubled.

No one else seemed to be up yet, except for a few seventh years probably doing some early-morning study. Uncomfortably, she shook out her spine, then looked around the room again. For some reason her body registered the fact that, considering the time of morning, more people should have been up. Then she remembered. It was Saturday - most people were probably sleeping in. With the thought of what day it was, something else brushed against her hazy memory, though she was too tired to catch it. Sluggishly, she sunk back down into the chair again.

Lily Evans suddenly forced her eyes open, a scowl upon her face. Despite the angry expression, her mouth still grinned, though perhaps she was showing more teeth than necessary... A seventh year student had glanced her way in curiosity - now, however, the girl's eyes were averted, nervous. The word "revenge" seethed into her mind, and she was instantly wide-awake.

Today was planning day.

Hurriedly, she pulled herself out of the chair, nearly falling over as cramped muscles refused to work. Stumbling, she fumbled her way in to the bathroom, deciding to run a shower in the hope that it would ease some of her soreness. Lately she hadn't been taking much care of herself, and noticed the result as she glanced in the mirror. Her skin was pale and blotchy with unhealth, while her hair hung lank and oily. Glancing over at her crumpled clothes, she decided that they could do with a wash, too. Everything had seemed so hard recently that she hadn't been going to much effort. At all. This was the first time in a long while that she, Lily Evans, was actually going to do something moderately difficult.

Hearing a slight rumble, Lily was surprised to find that she was actually hungry. Eating was another thing that she hadn't been bothering much with recently. Perhaps it was because her plans were finally falling into place that she was at last so content, so happy. To her, this hysterical joy was much better than the depression she had been so caught up in lately.

Stepping into the shower, she allowed a small sigh to escape her lips as the water refreshed. For a moment she forgot all my worries, all her troubles, in the sheer bliss of comfort. A smile graced her face, unlike any that had been seen on me since her break up with Severus. Being lulled by the hot water, she managed to forget why she was going to all this effort. Unfortunately, she soon remembered.

Once again, the word revenge entered Lily's thoughts, and her smile became distinctly malevolent.

…

Next chapter to be up soon! If I get a big response for this chapter (shoddy as it is) then I'll think about updating sooner. Currently, though, I'll just update when I get 'round to it - once a week or so.

-wildcat ohrya-