_9_
She must have been there for awhile now, because the tears would no longer come. They were dried to her cheeks, salt water smears running across her have. Her hands were cold because they'd wiped away so many tears. She heard a rustling, and her instincts came in to place.
Faith looked up and around, seeing nothing at first glance. The rustling came again and she turned to find a little girl standing behind her. Faith was taken aback for a moment, what kind of parent would let their child wander around this late at night?
The blonde girl said nothing, and did nothing but stand there. There was no fear in her eyes whatsoever. No look of being lost, she looked almost deliberate.
"Are you lost?" Faith finally asked.
The girl said nothing.
"Where do you live, do you know where you live?"
Nothing.
Faith sat, and stared, as the other girl stared openly at her. And suddenly there was an understanding between them, as if that little girl could feel everything Faith had felt in the past month. It was like a weight being lifted from Faith's shoulders, and her heart just soared for a moment, settling down again. There were no sounds or movements between them until Faith stood up and held out her hand towards the blond.
The girl took it.
Her hand was warm, for something that had been uncovered, unprotected from the cold. her cheeks were rosy and her every step was deliberate. For a moment Faith thought of Tatum, and how she had acted at the accident scene. Deliberately. Everything she did or said was done to measure a reaction.
Faith walked hand in hand, beside the little girl who followed her, yet almost was leading her at the same time. They left the way Faith had come, and crossed the street heading towards Haggerty's. In front of the bar, the little girl stopped for a moment, staring at the door. It opened a few seconds later.
"Faith?" Bosco asked.
"Yeah?" she asked.
"I was just coming to look for you.. where.. who's this?" he asked.
"I don't know" she replied honestly.
"Is she lost?"
"She doesn't seem like it.. I was just sitting there and she showed up"
"You wanna take her down to the precinct, her family's probably hysterical"
"Yeah" Faith replied finally, looking down at the girl again. It was as if she didn't want to let go of her hand, like she couldn't because if she did, well something would be broken. A bond or maybe as though the weight of the world would come down resting on her shoulders again. So she didn't let go of her hand. She sat in the back of Bosco's car the entire drive there, holding the girl's hand. She walked from the car in to the precinct holding the girl's hand. And through it neither of them said a word.
And when she was forced to say goodbye, so the police could call social services and take care of her, Faith didn't want to let go. She crouched, looking at the girl who never said a word. A girl who's name Faith didn't even know.
She sniffed, holding back her tears, and mouthed goodbye.
"Thank you" the girl said softly as she was taken away.
Faith stared at the receeding form, surprised, but peaceful. "You're welcome" Faith called, standing up. Bosco reached over and took Faith's hand and they left the precinct together.
"What's wrong with mommy?" Charlie asked Bosco when they were settled at the new place. Faith had gone in to the washroom, turning on a small radio, and begun running a hot shower.
"She's just a little upset, she had a bad day okay?"
"What happened, did someone get hurt?"
Bosco swallowed, he hadn't ever thought about how you were supposed to explain to a child about seeing bad things. "A little girl got hurt today, and it upset your mom"
"How was she hurt?"
"In a fire, your mom saved two children though"
"But she couldn't get the other one?"
"She couldn't find the other one, your mom tried really hard"
"Did she go away like the other one?"
"Which other one?"
"The one that died because of her dad?"
"They think she did, yea" Bosco said, closing his eyes and trying to forget.
"Charlie, you should be in bed, or Santa won't come" Emily said, from behind the two on the couch.
"Santa will still come?" Charlie asked, eyes widening.
"Of course he will, why wouldn't he?" Bosco asked.
"We moved, I didn't think Santa would know where we were"
Bosco smiled, "Santa will always know where you are, always"
"Even if we moved like, a thousand miles away?" he asked.
"Even then"
"Even if we went to outer space?"
"Everywhere" Bosco confirmed, "Now lets get you guys tucked in"
As soon as the kids were tucked in, Bosco tapped on the bathroom door, there was no answer, he knocked a little louder and listened. Nothing. Bosco slowly opened the door, heat instantly meeting his face. He looked at the tub, which was filled with steaming water. Then at Faith, "Hope yer not gonna get in to that right away" Bosco remarked.
She never looked up.
"Faith" he said gently, which was when he noticed her shoulders were moving up and down. She was quietly sobbing. He entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and sat on the floor beside her, wrapping his arm around her.
"What's wrong?" Bosco asked after a moment when she'd settled down.
"I just keep thinking about everything that's happened" Faith choked.
Bosco gave her a squeeze, "There's a lot that happened lately, a lot of terrible things"
"Not just lately Boz, I'm talking about everything"
"That's a whole lot of thinking" he remarked, getting a small smile out of her.
"There's so much bad in the world... I keep thinking about Emily, what if we'd been in there faster, what if we'd evacuated the building as soon as we saw the smoke.."
"Too many what ifs Faith, if you start second guessing every decision you make, you're gonna be stuck on one of them forever, you can't do that, can't tie yourself up like this"
"It was a little girl Boz, a little girl"
"Yes, it was, but you saved three other people's lives Faith.. you know for every bad thing, there's gotta be a good thing out there, otherwise the world would be hell"
"The world is hell Bosco, look around us, I don't want Charlie and Emily growing up in this"
"You can't stop them" he pointed out.
"I just wanna put them in a bubble, I want to keep them inside for their lives, so they won't have to face anything"
"So they can't have a life. Didn't you rebel against that when you were a kid?"
She grinned, "Sort of"
He nodded, knowingly, with a smirk on his face, "Sort of" he made a noise in his throat, " And didn't you hate your parents for it"
"I didn't hate them per se"
"You didn't listen though, did you, and it made things happen all the more faster. If you hold on to sand too tightly Faith, it slips away. Try holding it in the palms of your hands. All you can do is give Em and Charlie guidance, and let them know you'll always be here"
She paused, trembling, "I thought about giving Fred custody the other day"
Bosco froze up, then sighed. "How'd you come to that?"
"I just.. I'm not here for the kids when they get home from school Boz.. I never really see them except on weekends. Anything could happen in those long hours, anything"
"If it bothers you that much, why don't we switch shifts"
"I like the third watch Boz, does that sound stupid or selfish or what?"
"All of the above, but it's the way you feel so it isn't wrong. Charlie and Emily have mornings and weekends... they're old enough that they're going to want to be on their own now, out with friends and such. If you see them all the time, they're going to go nuts and want to run"
Faith snorted.
"What?" Bosco asked.
"For someone with no kids, you sure sound like you know what yer talkin' about"
"I learned a lot from a really smart person over the past seven years, especially the past month"
"A smart person huh?" she asked.
"A very smart person" he confided, "A very beautiful woman"
"Well, now I know you're cheating on me" she grinned.
He looked at her, then got up, offering her his hand. She took it, and was pulled to her feet. Bosco turned her gently around, making her look in to the mirror. He rested his head on her shoulder, then took her hands in to his.
"You see this little curvature here" he asked, tracing her hand over her cheekbones.
"Yea" she whispered back.
"That's a beautiful cheekbone, and that dimple on your chin, I love it. Even the crease in your forehead you get when you start thinking too hard, it's beautiful, but you know what makes everything five times better?" he asked.
"What's that?" she asked, almost coyly.
"When you do this" he said, pulling her cheeks upwards so her lips formed a smile. Then she smiled on her own.
"Now you got the hang of it" he grinned, kissing her on the cheek.
"Boscorelli, Yokas" Lieu called down the hall. They both turned. "I need to talk with you guys for a minute" he said.
They both headed to the office.
"Where did you find that girl last night?" Lieu asked, once he'd closed the door
"I found him in the park, she came up to me" Faith replied
"Around what time was this?" he asked.
Faith hesitated, "I'm not really sure"
"Before one" Bosco replied, "I left the bar at one to look for Faith and they were standing outside"
"Then if couldn't have been to much before that, maybe quarter to, twenty to or so"
There was a knock on the door and a head poked itself in. The desk clerk. "Lieu, Mrs. Davidson is here"
"Thanks, I'll be there in a minute" Lieu replied, the door closed.
"What's all this about?" Bosco asked finally, asking the inevitable.
"We took the girl to the hospital, nothing wrong with her, no case of exposure, clean bill of health." he said.
"She didn't look hurt or anything, that's why we took her here last night" Faith replied honestly.
Lieu nodded his head slowly, "Yeah, well uhm, Mrs. Davidson, she wants to thank you for finding her daughter, so I'll introduce you guys, she's got a story that'll blow your mind" he replied, getting up and heading for the door. He turned back to them as they were staring at eachother. "Coming?" he asked.
Faith followed first.
"Y.. you are the officers who found my girl?" Mrs Davidson asked, once introduced.
Faith's eyes widened with recognition, it was the woman from the fire yesterday. "Emily" she countered.
The woman nodded, tears in her eyes. "You found my Emily" she smiled, turning her head and holding out her hand. The little girl who had found Faith last night came forward, holding her mother's hand.
Faith's breath got caught for a moment, and Bosco squeezed her hand.
"This is Emily?" she asked, awestruck.
"This is my Emily"
"The same one?" Bosco asked, somewhat amazed. The woman, Mrs. Davidson, nodded. "Child services called where we were staying.. after my release from the hospital. They told me they'd found her, at first I thought they meant they found her remains, but.. but when we arranged to meet Emily was just there... it's amazing, like a Christmas Miracle I've heard about"
"I.. we're glad Emily's okay" Faith nodded her head.
"D.. did you see anything strange last night, officer Yokas, when you found her?" the woman asked.
"No" Faith shook her head, "why?"
"My baby's got a clean bill of health" she replied, almost in tears.
"Yea.. that's.. that's good"
"No.. you don't understand. Emily had leukemia, in the second stage already" she was shaking now.
"It went in to remission?" Faith asked, eyes wide.
"No" the woman replied, pausing. "The cancer is gone... there's nothing"
She must have been there for awhile now, because the tears would no longer come. They were dried to her cheeks, salt water smears running across her have. Her hands were cold because they'd wiped away so many tears. She heard a rustling, and her instincts came in to place.
Faith looked up and around, seeing nothing at first glance. The rustling came again and she turned to find a little girl standing behind her. Faith was taken aback for a moment, what kind of parent would let their child wander around this late at night?
The blonde girl said nothing, and did nothing but stand there. There was no fear in her eyes whatsoever. No look of being lost, she looked almost deliberate.
"Are you lost?" Faith finally asked.
The girl said nothing.
"Where do you live, do you know where you live?"
Nothing.
Faith sat, and stared, as the other girl stared openly at her. And suddenly there was an understanding between them, as if that little girl could feel everything Faith had felt in the past month. It was like a weight being lifted from Faith's shoulders, and her heart just soared for a moment, settling down again. There were no sounds or movements between them until Faith stood up and held out her hand towards the blond.
The girl took it.
Her hand was warm, for something that had been uncovered, unprotected from the cold. her cheeks were rosy and her every step was deliberate. For a moment Faith thought of Tatum, and how she had acted at the accident scene. Deliberately. Everything she did or said was done to measure a reaction.
Faith walked hand in hand, beside the little girl who followed her, yet almost was leading her at the same time. They left the way Faith had come, and crossed the street heading towards Haggerty's. In front of the bar, the little girl stopped for a moment, staring at the door. It opened a few seconds later.
"Faith?" Bosco asked.
"Yeah?" she asked.
"I was just coming to look for you.. where.. who's this?" he asked.
"I don't know" she replied honestly.
"Is she lost?"
"She doesn't seem like it.. I was just sitting there and she showed up"
"You wanna take her down to the precinct, her family's probably hysterical"
"Yeah" Faith replied finally, looking down at the girl again. It was as if she didn't want to let go of her hand, like she couldn't because if she did, well something would be broken. A bond or maybe as though the weight of the world would come down resting on her shoulders again. So she didn't let go of her hand. She sat in the back of Bosco's car the entire drive there, holding the girl's hand. She walked from the car in to the precinct holding the girl's hand. And through it neither of them said a word.
And when she was forced to say goodbye, so the police could call social services and take care of her, Faith didn't want to let go. She crouched, looking at the girl who never said a word. A girl who's name Faith didn't even know.
She sniffed, holding back her tears, and mouthed goodbye.
"Thank you" the girl said softly as she was taken away.
Faith stared at the receeding form, surprised, but peaceful. "You're welcome" Faith called, standing up. Bosco reached over and took Faith's hand and they left the precinct together.
"What's wrong with mommy?" Charlie asked Bosco when they were settled at the new place. Faith had gone in to the washroom, turning on a small radio, and begun running a hot shower.
"She's just a little upset, she had a bad day okay?"
"What happened, did someone get hurt?"
Bosco swallowed, he hadn't ever thought about how you were supposed to explain to a child about seeing bad things. "A little girl got hurt today, and it upset your mom"
"How was she hurt?"
"In a fire, your mom saved two children though"
"But she couldn't get the other one?"
"She couldn't find the other one, your mom tried really hard"
"Did she go away like the other one?"
"Which other one?"
"The one that died because of her dad?"
"They think she did, yea" Bosco said, closing his eyes and trying to forget.
"Charlie, you should be in bed, or Santa won't come" Emily said, from behind the two on the couch.
"Santa will still come?" Charlie asked, eyes widening.
"Of course he will, why wouldn't he?" Bosco asked.
"We moved, I didn't think Santa would know where we were"
Bosco smiled, "Santa will always know where you are, always"
"Even if we moved like, a thousand miles away?" he asked.
"Even then"
"Even if we went to outer space?"
"Everywhere" Bosco confirmed, "Now lets get you guys tucked in"
As soon as the kids were tucked in, Bosco tapped on the bathroom door, there was no answer, he knocked a little louder and listened. Nothing. Bosco slowly opened the door, heat instantly meeting his face. He looked at the tub, which was filled with steaming water. Then at Faith, "Hope yer not gonna get in to that right away" Bosco remarked.
She never looked up.
"Faith" he said gently, which was when he noticed her shoulders were moving up and down. She was quietly sobbing. He entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and sat on the floor beside her, wrapping his arm around her.
"What's wrong?" Bosco asked after a moment when she'd settled down.
"I just keep thinking about everything that's happened" Faith choked.
Bosco gave her a squeeze, "There's a lot that happened lately, a lot of terrible things"
"Not just lately Boz, I'm talking about everything"
"That's a whole lot of thinking" he remarked, getting a small smile out of her.
"There's so much bad in the world... I keep thinking about Emily, what if we'd been in there faster, what if we'd evacuated the building as soon as we saw the smoke.."
"Too many what ifs Faith, if you start second guessing every decision you make, you're gonna be stuck on one of them forever, you can't do that, can't tie yourself up like this"
"It was a little girl Boz, a little girl"
"Yes, it was, but you saved three other people's lives Faith.. you know for every bad thing, there's gotta be a good thing out there, otherwise the world would be hell"
"The world is hell Bosco, look around us, I don't want Charlie and Emily growing up in this"
"You can't stop them" he pointed out.
"I just wanna put them in a bubble, I want to keep them inside for their lives, so they won't have to face anything"
"So they can't have a life. Didn't you rebel against that when you were a kid?"
She grinned, "Sort of"
He nodded, knowingly, with a smirk on his face, "Sort of" he made a noise in his throat, " And didn't you hate your parents for it"
"I didn't hate them per se"
"You didn't listen though, did you, and it made things happen all the more faster. If you hold on to sand too tightly Faith, it slips away. Try holding it in the palms of your hands. All you can do is give Em and Charlie guidance, and let them know you'll always be here"
She paused, trembling, "I thought about giving Fred custody the other day"
Bosco froze up, then sighed. "How'd you come to that?"
"I just.. I'm not here for the kids when they get home from school Boz.. I never really see them except on weekends. Anything could happen in those long hours, anything"
"If it bothers you that much, why don't we switch shifts"
"I like the third watch Boz, does that sound stupid or selfish or what?"
"All of the above, but it's the way you feel so it isn't wrong. Charlie and Emily have mornings and weekends... they're old enough that they're going to want to be on their own now, out with friends and such. If you see them all the time, they're going to go nuts and want to run"
Faith snorted.
"What?" Bosco asked.
"For someone with no kids, you sure sound like you know what yer talkin' about"
"I learned a lot from a really smart person over the past seven years, especially the past month"
"A smart person huh?" she asked.
"A very smart person" he confided, "A very beautiful woman"
"Well, now I know you're cheating on me" she grinned.
He looked at her, then got up, offering her his hand. She took it, and was pulled to her feet. Bosco turned her gently around, making her look in to the mirror. He rested his head on her shoulder, then took her hands in to his.
"You see this little curvature here" he asked, tracing her hand over her cheekbones.
"Yea" she whispered back.
"That's a beautiful cheekbone, and that dimple on your chin, I love it. Even the crease in your forehead you get when you start thinking too hard, it's beautiful, but you know what makes everything five times better?" he asked.
"What's that?" she asked, almost coyly.
"When you do this" he said, pulling her cheeks upwards so her lips formed a smile. Then she smiled on her own.
"Now you got the hang of it" he grinned, kissing her on the cheek.
"Boscorelli, Yokas" Lieu called down the hall. They both turned. "I need to talk with you guys for a minute" he said.
They both headed to the office.
"Where did you find that girl last night?" Lieu asked, once he'd closed the door
"I found him in the park, she came up to me" Faith replied
"Around what time was this?" he asked.
Faith hesitated, "I'm not really sure"
"Before one" Bosco replied, "I left the bar at one to look for Faith and they were standing outside"
"Then if couldn't have been to much before that, maybe quarter to, twenty to or so"
There was a knock on the door and a head poked itself in. The desk clerk. "Lieu, Mrs. Davidson is here"
"Thanks, I'll be there in a minute" Lieu replied, the door closed.
"What's all this about?" Bosco asked finally, asking the inevitable.
"We took the girl to the hospital, nothing wrong with her, no case of exposure, clean bill of health." he said.
"She didn't look hurt or anything, that's why we took her here last night" Faith replied honestly.
Lieu nodded his head slowly, "Yeah, well uhm, Mrs. Davidson, she wants to thank you for finding her daughter, so I'll introduce you guys, she's got a story that'll blow your mind" he replied, getting up and heading for the door. He turned back to them as they were staring at eachother. "Coming?" he asked.
Faith followed first.
"Y.. you are the officers who found my girl?" Mrs Davidson asked, once introduced.
Faith's eyes widened with recognition, it was the woman from the fire yesterday. "Emily" she countered.
The woman nodded, tears in her eyes. "You found my Emily" she smiled, turning her head and holding out her hand. The little girl who had found Faith last night came forward, holding her mother's hand.
Faith's breath got caught for a moment, and Bosco squeezed her hand.
"This is Emily?" she asked, awestruck.
"This is my Emily"
"The same one?" Bosco asked, somewhat amazed. The woman, Mrs. Davidson, nodded. "Child services called where we were staying.. after my release from the hospital. They told me they'd found her, at first I thought they meant they found her remains, but.. but when we arranged to meet Emily was just there... it's amazing, like a Christmas Miracle I've heard about"
"I.. we're glad Emily's okay" Faith nodded her head.
"D.. did you see anything strange last night, officer Yokas, when you found her?" the woman asked.
"No" Faith shook her head, "why?"
"My baby's got a clean bill of health" she replied, almost in tears.
"Yea.. that's.. that's good"
"No.. you don't understand. Emily had leukemia, in the second stage already" she was shaking now.
"It went in to remission?" Faith asked, eyes wide.
"No" the woman replied, pausing. "The cancer is gone... there's nothing"