Disclaimer: This is based on Shakespeare's play Much Ado about Nothing. Some parts come directly from the play. You can't say I didn't give the man credit.

I entered Don John's room, in which I found him pacing. The mere sight of him made my fingertips ache with longing. He had no idea of my feelings for him. I was pretty sure he wouldn't care for the matter. He had always had a gloomy outlook on things, and he had hated the idea of love ever since the day I met him. More than that, I couldn't imagine that he would have feelings for me.

I remember that night well. I remembered how the candle's light reflected of his jet black hair. His contempt filled eyes dark and flashing as ever. I had come in to do my nightly duty of massaging Don John's shoulders before he went to sleep. I never saw it as a duty, more like a privilege. I noticed that he wasn't as talkative with me as he usually was. But there was something about him that night that was different somehow. I noticed it right away; after all I had been his loyal companion for years. Still I couldn't put my finger on it.

"What's wrong, my lord?" I asked. "Why are you so depressed?"

"There's no reason, I just am." He replied.

"Well, you should have a reason."

"And if I did, what good would it do?" He asked.

"If it doesn't cure the problem, at least it would give you temporary relief." I answered.

Don John flew up from the table in a trouncing fit of anger. "You talk about you life, and how it is so full of darkness and gloom, but yet you try to go around and solve everybody's problems with your moral medicine. I can't hide who I am, Conrade. I have to be depressed when I feel depressed, eat when I'm hungry, and sleep when I'm tired. I don't laugh at anyone's jokes, nor do I wait for anyone in their leisure. And I don't take care of anyone else's problems."

"I'm well aware of that, but you shouldn't let that side be shown. Your brother has just defeated you in the war, yet he has taken you in his grace. You can't stay under his wing if you continue to your usual dark self. Do it for your own good, my lord." I told him.

"I don't give a damn about being in Don Pedro's favor. It suits me better to lose everything I have than to pretend I'm someone I'm not to gain anybody's fondness," Don John scratched his head and sighed. "Yet, it can't be said that I am an honest man. I won't deny that I'm nothing more than a villain. This is who I am, Don John the Bastard! Take it or leave it, please don't try to change me."

I'll take it, I thought to myself. "You can't put any of this pent-up rage to use?"

"I make total use of it; it's the only thing I have to use." He replied before he heard footsteps coming up the hallway. "Who comes here?"

Borachio entered. "What new do you have, Borachio?" Don John asked.

"I just came from a huge dinner held for your brother by Leonato. I have news of an intended marriage." Borachio said.

"Involving whom? Can we cause any trouble?" asked Don John.

"Your brother's right hand man." Borachio replied.

"I see, the exquisite Claudio. I hate that goody-two-shoes asshole. This should be good, who does he plan to marry?" asked Don Jon.

"The daughter and heir of Leonato, Hero." Borachio answered.

"What a prize choice! How did you find this out?" Don John inquired.

"They hired me as a perfumer at the dinner. While I was fuming a musty room, your brother the prince and Claudio came in having a serious conversation. I hid behind the curtains and there I heard the Prince agree that he would woo Hero for himself and then, having obtained her, give her to Claudio," explained Borachio.

"Let's go down to the dinner. Perhaps my luck is changing." Don John said. "Will you two loyally assist and defend me?"

"To the death, my lord," I answered quickly. Don John allowed his gaze to fall over me for an unusually long period.

"Let us go down to the dinner, then. Should we go see what needs to be done?" Don John asked.

"We wait on your lordship." Borachio replied.

We dressed in our attire and headed down to the dinner. When we arrived, we walked around trying to assess the situation. Don John spotted the unmasked Claudio watching the masked Prince woo Hero. I nodded to him and we approached Claudio who quickly re-masked.

"Are you Signor Benedick?" asked Don John.

"I am he. What can I do for you?" responded Claudio.

"You are very close to my brother, the Prince. He has recently fallen in love with the Lady Hero. I want you to discourage him in this, for she is no match for his birth." Don John said.

"How do you know that he loves her?" asked Claudio. "He confessed his love for her to me," Don John replied.

"I, too, heard this confession. He swore he would marry her tonight." Borachio continued.

"Well, gentlemen, let's go eat." Don John said. The three of us walked to the Banquet and watched as Claudio whimpered at this new idea.

"I'm not hungry." Don John said. "Borachio, you may stay. Conrade, I'd like to speak with you in my chamber." He turned and left. I followed him all the way back to his chamber. He didn't say one word the whole time. We finally arrived. Don John closed and locked the door behind me. I sat in a chair, confused.

"Conrade, when you said "To the death," did you mean it?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Why would you defend someone like me?"

A million reasons, I thought to myself. "It's my duty, sir."

"Oh," Don John scratched his head. "I thought you had feelings for me."

I swallowed hard. I didn't move, I didn't breathe. I just sat there, not knowing what to do.

"Don't worry," Don John said to me. "You are who you are. I won't try to change you." He walked over to the table and pored two glasses of blood red wine. He downed his own, and poured another. He handed me my own glass and I took it. My trembling hands made it difficult to hold the glass without dropping it.

Don John Began pacing, furrowing his brow as if he were deep in thought. "I am a cold man for many reasons, Conrade. I constantly have felt the need to outshine my perfect brother ever since childhood. Nobody knows the true workings of my mind. I may seem like this monstrous villain who is out only for evil, but inside, I bleed just the same as everyone else."

He paused. I began to calm down. "Inside, I have the same desires as everybody else. I want someone to love, someone to hold me, no matter how cold I may seem." Don John confessed.

"Well, that's normal. What's the problem?" I asked.

He hesitated, staring into his glass. He slowly began to explain. "Today, I saw something in you that I didn't think anyone else had." He slowly raised his eyes to meet mine. "When you swore your loyalty to me, there was a gleam in your eyes that only meant one thing. I was startled at first, discovering that love was right at my fingertips waiting for reciprocation. But then I knew it was right. Some force has pitted us forever in villainy. We're villains, both in love and war."

I nodded, beginning to understand. "The way we hate is so forbidden in the eyes of others, that the way we love should be considered just as bad." I said.

Don John put down his glass and walked over to me. He took my face in one hand and whispered softly, "The way I love may seem wrong to others, but nothing in my life has felt as right as this." He slowly leaned in and our lips met in a long awaited kiss. He eagerly encircled my tongue with his as I removed his shirt. I began to nibble his ear and slowly moved down his neck as he undressed me. I made my way down his chest and to his stomach, pausing to remove his pants. He grabbed me by the back of my hair and urged me on. Soon, my mouth was moving in rhythm to Don John's pants, yelps, and moans of pleasure.

When I had finished, he pushed me onto his bed and separated my bare legs. He began tickling and teasing my inner thighs with his ever flickering tongue until he reached his destination and began to suckle. I clenched the sheets with my fingertips and moaned in delight. He then straddled me and for the first time our bodies were bonded as they moved together in sweet harmony.

Soon it was over and we both laid there, dizzy with lust and fulfillment. It was then that Don John did something I will never forget. He smiled. For the first time I had known, and possibly in his whole life, he smiled.

"I love you, Conrade." He whispered before falling asleep, his head on my chest. I stoked his hair and drifted off to sleep. My head was filled with thoughts about how sweet villainy really was.