Spike looked up from his seat at the foot of Buffy's
bed as the Slayer walked into the room, her hand lingering on the doorframe
before she crossed the room, stopping when she stood in front of him.
"How is she?"
"Better." The Slayer answered simply. "I mean, she's still kinda
shakey, but at least she's not screaming anymore, right?"
"Yeah…" He muttered, dropping his gaze. Hope had all but freaked out
when she woke up, scrambling from the tub and nearly falling down the stairs as
she tried to get away from them. No, not them. Him. He'd made his way down the
stairs quickly, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back before she could
open the front door and run outside. She lost it, screaming, crying, fighting
to get away from him. When she finally got free from his grasp, she had dashed
into the living room. Buffy had intercepted her, tackling her to the couch and
pinning her there. She seemed to calm a bit as she stared up at the older
slayer, meeting her concerned gaze.
Then he had walked in. She whimpered when she saw him, fighting to get free
from Buffy. She only stopped when Willow had walked in, grabbed him by the arm,
and dragged him back upstairs and away from the girl. Out of sight, out of
mind, apparently. She had calmed down as soon as he was gone, and Buffy had
spent the past hour downstairs trying to figure out what was wrong with her.
He'd remained in her room, terrified to go down and scare the girl.
Buffy took a seat beside him on the bed, running her hands over her knees
nervously. "Willow and Dawn went to the shop to see if they could find
something to relax her a bit. She's pretty worked up, got sick a few
times…"
His blue eyes locked on the Slayer, questioning. "What happened?"
She shrugged a bit. "Dunno. She's not in a very talkative mood. All I got
from her was that she was dreaming."
"Prophetic?"
She shrugged again. "I don't know. I mean, it's a possibility, I guess.
Slayers are known to have dreams about, well, bad things. I have one every now
and then, but the worse thing that happens to me is a wake up a little sweaty
and freaked out. I don't go totally skitzo and scream like my head was on fire.
Not to mention puking my guts out when I woke up."
He let out a breath and stood, walking towards the door.
"Where are you going?"
He turned back to face her. "To talk to her."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
It was his turn to shrug. "Have t'see." With that he turned, heading
out into the hallway and making his way slowly down the stairs.
Hope was sitting on the couch, wrapped in one of the many blankets that had
accumulated in the living room during the past few days. Her hair was a mess,
falling in sloppy wet strands across her face. As far as he could tell, she
still had her wet clothes on and the blanket was a meager attempt to keep warm.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he walked into the room, eyeing her
carefully. Buffy remained by the stairs, watching. Hope looked up as he walked
in, tensed a bit, but made no move to run. He stopped a few feet in front of
her, afraid to go any closer.
She gave him a small smile. "Hey…"
He let out a small sigh of relief before closing the distance between him and
the couch, falling down to the seat beside her. "Hey kitten." He
watched as she gave him another small smile, but she refused to meet his eyes.
Instead, she turned her gaze to her hands, which were resting in her lap.
"You feelin' better?"
"Little. Still kinda queezy… a bit headachey…"
He smiled. "Red and Nibblet are workin' on that." She nodded a bit,
still looking down. "Mind tellin' me what happened?"
She swallowed and looked up at him, finally meeting his eyes. Tears sprang to
hers and she looked away quickly, clenching them shut. The next thing she knew,
he had pulled her into his lap, running his hand over her back and hair. She
felt sick.
"You have t'tell me what's wrong, luv."
She shifted a bit, suddenly feeling smothered by the hug he held her in. It
took all her willpower not to pull away, not to run. No, instead she just sat
there, her head resting against his chest, unmoving. Her arms were crossed over
her stomach, her eyes locked on the wall.
"Come on, pet. You need t'tell me…" He whispered softly, his hand
running through her wet hair. She shuddered at the touch, cringing. "What
was that all about? A dream?" He questioned.
"Yeah…" She closed her eyes, shaking her head. "No…"
He laughed a bit. "Which is it?"
This time she did pull away, crawling backwards and sitting as far away from
him on the couch as she could. She stared at him, tears threatening, but her
eyes never left his. "It was you…"
He gave her a questioning look, his head titling slightly to the side.
"I was there, with you…"
"Where?"
"Everywhere." She muttered, sniffling as she ran the sleeve of her
shirt under her nose. She shook her head before looking back up at him.
And that's when he saw it.
She was afraid of him. Terrified.
She saw the pain cross his face and shot up from her seat. She couldn't take
this. She crossed the room quickly, dropping the blanket in the middle of the
floor and standing along the wall farthest from him. Crossing her arms over her
stomach, she stared at the floor, willing herself not to cry. "I felt it,
what you did. Everything you did…"
She chanced a look at him, instantly regretting it. He looked anguished. Snapping
her eyes shut, she quickly turned her head back to the wall and continued.
"Remember how you used to tell me stories, about you, trying to scare
me?"
"Yeah…" He droned, prompting her to finish.
She swallowed, running her right hand up and down her left arm as if she was
cold. Well, she was cold, having been dowsed in ice water, but that was beside
the point. She was long past worrying about her physical state and was more
concerned with her racing thoughts.
"I was there. I watched you kill those people, but I wasn't
watching." She slowly brought her eyes to his, forcing herself to keep eye
contact. "It was me. Over and over. The torture, the pain, everything you
did. It wasn't like I was watching some movie, Spike. It was like you were
killing me. I felt everything…" This time she couldn't help it, the tears
welling in her eyes made their way down her face.
He didn't move. He didn't blink. He just stared at her, unbelieving.
The girl just shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I can't do
this…"
Spike's eyes remained glued on the wall where she had been standing. He heard
Buffy's voice in the kitchen, questioning as to what was wrong, and then the
backdoor slamming. A moment later, Buffy walked back into the room, looking
back over her shoulder in the direction Hope had gone off in. "I take it
she told you what was wrong." She stated bluntly. She eyed him
suspiciously when he didn't respond. "Spike?"
"She's afraid of me…"
The Slayer's brow furrowed and she made her way slowly over to the couch,
taking a seat beside him. "What do you mean?"
"I mean the girl's afraid of me. Terrified." He exclaimed, sounding
annoyed.
Buffy swallowed. "Why?"
"Dru."
"Well, duh. We all figured that one out, but what exactly did she do to
her?"
"She made her remember. She forced her to see everything I did, to feel it
all…"
Buffy visibly paled, remembering all the gruesome stories Giles and Angel had
relayed to her before she had actually met Spike. Then she had actually heard
some of the stories from him, and they were ten times as disturbing. She
couldn't imagine having to witness them, let alone feel them. "Are you
sure?"
"Judging by the girl's sudden fear of me, I'd say 'yeah'." He
snapped.
The Slayer watched as he hung his head, running one hand through his unruly
hair as he clenched his eyes shut. She couldn't help but pity him, which was
something she had promised herself she would never do again. Despite her
brain's hateful protests, she slid her hand over his, giving it a small
squeeze. His head shot up and he stared at her. "We'll find a way to fix
this. We'll make it stop."
He managed to give her a small grateful smile, but his heart wasn't in it. She
knew just as well as he did that there was no way he was going to sit around
and wait for them to come up with a solution. Patience had never been his
strong point.
They both turned as the front door swung open, Dawn walking in. Willow was
close on her heals, a travel mug from the local donut shop in one hand and two
thin leather bound books in the other. She kicked the door shut and followed
Dawn into the living room. "I got the perfect thing for headaches and
drowsiness." The redhead stated proudly, holding up the mug as she set the
books down.
"Coffee?" Buffy questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"Xander's donut cup was the only thing clean at the shop." Dawn
explained. "There's lukewarm purple goo inside."
Buffy had taken the mug from Willow, sliding her hand from Spike's as she
lifted the lid and took a sniff. Her nose scrunched up and she held it away,
making some gagging noises. "Oh, God Will! That's disgusting."
"We didn't have any armanni root, so I had to use tylip seeds. Same
effect, just a bit less appetizing." She explained with a shrug.
"More like a lot less appetizing." Spike stated, pulling his head
back slightly as Buffy tried to get him to smell it. He made a face, grabbing
Buffy's wrist.. "Slayer, I can smell it just fine from over here. Vampire,
remember?"
She just shook her head, pulling her wrist from his hand and snapping the lid
back on. "Here, she's out on the back porch." She stated, handing the
cup to Dawn.
"Good luck getting' 'er t'drink it. I can barely get 'er t'drink orange
juice in the morning." Spike chirped as Dawn made her way out of the room.
He slumped back into the couch cushion, crossing his arms loosely over his
stomach.
Buffy looked over at him and couldn't help but smile slightly. He had
absolutely no idea how ridiculous he sounded. Who had ever heard of a vampire
with paternal instincts?
"S'with the books, Red?"
Buffy pulled her eyes from the vampire and turned towards the coffee table as
he pointed. Her face scrunched up. "Where'd those come from?"
"Oh!" Willow snatched the top book up and began to flip through it.
Finding what she was looking for, she handed it off to the Slayer, her finger
pointing on a few paragraphs of text. The Slayer took it and began skimming
over it.
"Giles sent over a bunch of books he got from some wizard in
England." Willow continued. "Me and Dawn flipped through 'em really
fast at the shop and these two actually had some decent information about
Sunnydale's newest Big Bad."
Spike quirked an eyebrow at her as he sat up, peering over Buffy's shoulder and
down at the page. "Always good to know that decapitation won't kill something…"
He mumbled.
Buffy shrugged, flipping the page. "Works on most monsters…"
"Yep."
Willow picked up the second book as they finished reading over the bits and
pieces of text in the other. Buffy looked up, making a face. "So,
decapitation, fire, and pointy things won't kill it."
"There goes your shot at killin' it." Spike chimed, earning an
unamused look from the girl.
Willow handed the Slayer the second book, ignoring him. "No, but this says
that if we find a way to minimize it's power, then it's mystical energy will
diminish and then we can poke it with pointy things."
"So how do we squash it's mojo?"
Willow's only response to the Slayer's question was a small shrug. "Don't
know."
"Willow? Would putting chocolate syrup in this stuff mess it up?"
Dawn questioned, walking back into the room, a bottle of Hershey syrup in one
hand and the purple goo in the other.
Spike smirked. "Told you she wouldn't drink it."
"Still, it'd probably be better if she did. She could really use some
rest." Willow said, concern evident in her voice.
The vampire rolled his eyes and stood, walking over to Dawn. "Lemme see,
Bit." The brunette obediently handed over the Hershey syrup. He stared at
her blankly. "Yeah, why don't we go fill 'er up with chocolate, that'll
make everything better."
"Oh, sorry." She took the bottle back from him and handed over the
mug, giving him a sheepish grin. She turned back to her sister and Willow as he
stalked away, making a face. "He's in a bad mood…"
"Eh, this whole spaz-fest has gotten him worked up, he doesn't mean
anything by it." Buffy said, shaking her head slightly. "So, we're
lookin' for some type of spell now, right?"
Willow nodded. "Right."
----------
Hope didn't move from her seat on the bottom step when she heard the door open
behind her. She didn't need to look back to see who it was. A chill ran up her
spine, a feeling that was always accompanied by the presence of a vampire. But
not this vampire. The feeling made her a bit uneasy and she shifted
uncomfortably. Sure, she had been able to tell when Spike was nearby before,
but not like this. Her Slayer senses never kicked in around him, she never
heard that little voice in the back of her head screaming at her to kill him.
Well, not until today.
The fact that her subconscious was now identifying her best friend as an enemy
was irritating. She didn't want to hate him. Drawing in a long breath, she
spoke. "If you think I'm drinkin' that stuff, you're mad."
Spike leaned with his shoulder against the doorframe, staying far enough inside
to avoid the afternoon's dim rays of sunlight. Judging by the dark clouds
looming in the horizon, there was a nasty storm moving in. "It'll make you
feel better."
"So would not seeing all that shit."
"We just had this conversation 'bout your mouth last night, did we
not?"
"Yes, Daddy."
The vampire smirked, standing up. "So, you wanna come inside and
talk?"
"You wanna come outside?" She questioned, looking back over her
shoulder at him. That sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach was back,
making her a bit queasy. She sighed. "No, I guess you wouldn't…"
He shrugged, watching as she stood and dusted off her pants. After making her
way up the steps, she stopped, hesitant to step out of the safety of the
sunlight, He continued to stare at her as she stood there, staring at the
ground. "Kitten, I'm not goin' t'hurt you."
"I know…"
"Do you?"
She looked back up at him, tears brimming her green eyes once more. Swallowing
her fear, she nodded, taking a step over the threshold and out of the light.
"Yeah…"
----------
Hope tightened the blanket she had wrapped over her shoulders, staring blankly
at the wall on the other side of the living room. She was trying desperately to
not to fall asleep, a battle she was readily losing. After talking with Spike
for nearly two hours, he had convinced her to drink Willow's purple goo.
She had to admit, the stuff was helping. She no longer felt like she was about to heave up her lungs and her headache was nearly gone. The downside was it was making her tired, and in the past six hours she had developed an acute fear of sleep. She wasn't really in the mood to feel like her best was tearing her apart piece by piece. Literally.
"How you doin', kitten?"
The girl looked up, grateful for the distraction, even if it was killing her that she was suddenly afraid of the only person in the world that cared about her. Simply seeing the vampire made her feel sick again, Fighting back the feeling, she gave him a small shrug, stifling a yawn. "I'm tired…."
He drew in a long breath, leaning away from the doorframe and walking into the room. Crouching down beside the couch, he ran his hand over the girl's hair, giving her a sympathetic look. "You know it's not real, I'd never do anythin' t'hurt you."
She nodded slightly. "Yeah…"
"Look, try and get some sleep and we…"
"No." she snapped quickly, her eyes widening. She looked terrified. Closing her eyes, she shook her head, pulling away from his touch. "No…"
The vampire watched as the girl curled into a little ball, pressing the side of her head further down into the pillow. She looked miserable. Her face was a sickly gray color, dark circles adorning her eyes. She looked worse off than she had when she had had the flu last winter. "Hope…"
"I don't wanna see it again…" She muttered quickly.
"Yeah, I know…"
She finally opened her eyes, looking up to meet his. It honestly took all of her willpower not to look away and start crying. As much as she loved him, she was deathly afraid of him. "Just make it stop, please…"
He just stared at her for a moment before speaking. "I will, I promise."
The teen watched as he stood, stalking down the hallway and out of the room. She felt relieved that he was gone, yet alone. Her red eyes stared blankly in the direction he had gone, focusing on nothing. Instead, she started humming songs, trying anything to keep from sleeping.
