Spike's Will Be Done

By Tales Of Spike

Disclaimer:

Spike: Okay, thanks to lack of publicity for our appeal we have raised the grand total of 20pence, 50 centimes and a shirt button. So to let me and the other characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer buy ourselves out of our slavery to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN and other companies we have only several million dollars to raise. So please ring 0800-SAVE-SPIKE and make your pledge for $10 or whatever you can afford.

In light of the poor response last chapter, it has been suggested that instead of having a bar graph type display that progress toward our total should be measured by removal of items of my clothing. At the minute I'm still fully dressed. So if you want to see more of my partially clothed or even naked body, get pledging.

Thanks again.

Bits of the story are based on the episode "Entropy" written by Drew Z Greenberg, or at least how the episode might have gone if say when she had her magical clear-out Buffy had given the stuff to Spike for safe-keeping rather than putting it in the bin.

A/N I know chapter 1 was posted when the system was still a mess, but so far I've had one review and it wasn't exactly encouraging, so I've basically decided to post up all the chapters I already had written in one go and see what the feedback is like, before I decide whether to junk this particular idea. If I get some good feedback I'll work out where I go from here, if not I'll just pull the story. I know that to begin with a lot happens much the same as the episode but by chapter 4 it's well into AU territory, but even with that said, Willow and Tara still have to get back together at some point, or at least I think they should..

And okay, if you read all this, you'll know by the time you get to the end. It isn't the "blank slate" spell from Tabula Rasa. I said the hint was in the title. I thought it was obvious. If you were being sarcastic, sorry.

Chapter 2 – Two Lonely People

The Magic Box was empty of customers, its only occupants the two vengeance demons who were engrossed in discussing Xander's fate. For some reason distress at Xander's departure had affected Anya's brain function in such a way that she forgot that her companion was also a vengeance demon. A vengeance demon who didn't particularly like Xander. A vengeance demon who shouldn't have any objection to granting any wish Anya might care to make concerning the Scoobies' omega male.

Halfrek seemed to have let this slip her mind as well. Maybe D'Hoffryn held them financially responsible for the cost of any wishes they granted. Whatever the reason this meant that the pair were trying to think of possible candidates to trick, coerce or bribe into making a wish against Anya's (former?) beloved.

Anya was currently bemoaning her limited social circle.

"What am I supposed to do, just stumble upon someone who doesn't give a fig's ass if Xander gets hurt?"

Right on cue, the bell over the shop door heralded Spike's arrival. "Hey," said the peroxide vamp. "I need some stuff."

Anya immediately put on the guise of a hyper efficient shopkeeper. "So… what's your pleasure?"

"Fresh out of pleasure..." Spike moved over to the display of candles and pulled all the red ones from the shelf. "But I'll take these, if you've got another four the same stashed away in the basement or somewhere."

"I'll check for you, Spike. Are you planning on doing some magic then? You're not normally bothered about whether your candles match or not."

"Yeah, thought I might try something."

Anya pulled Halfrek with her as she headed for the cellar and Spike could hear the two whispering to each other, though he didn't strain to hear what they were saying. The two returned to the main shop, Anya carrying an armful of red candles. She added four to those Spike had placed on the counter and put the rest to one side, ready to restock.

Halfrek grabbed her handbag and headed toward the door. "So, you know… good luck, with that… whole thing." She waved goodbye and left Spike and Anya alone in the shop.

"Sorry to bust up the little girls' night out." Spike apologised.

"Don't worry. I'm always ready to do business. Is there anything else you need?"

"No, pet. I've already got everythin' else."

"I thought you objected to magic on principle. I didn't know you even had any talent. You were the one who kept going on about consequences… but I've still rung those candles up so you still have to buy them."

"I never said I objected to the mojo, just that you have to treat it with respect. The end result has to justify the risks. Last spell I did was to bring Dru back to strength. That worked fine. It was a certain stupid little bint and her mates that caused all the problems. As to consequences, I doubt I could end up any worse off than I am now, luv."

"In that case can I recommend what I have here." Anya reached beneath the counter, pulling out a bottle of bourbon.

"Thanks, pet, but no. If I'm going to be mucking around with magic later on, then I think I'd best be sobering up not getting more drunk. I could go for something to eat though, if you feel like going to the Bronze. It must be nearly time to shut up shop."

* * * * *

The two demons in human form sat in the Bronze sharing a plate of spicy chicken wings and a "flowering onion" and a couple of beers.

"Xander thought I was rude." Anya moaned.

"That's because he's one of them. Uptight. Repressed." Spike gave vent to his own particular grievance.

"You think?"

"Please," The vamp retorted. "It's no wonder they couldn't deal with the likes of you and me, luv. We both should have been dead hundreds of years ago – and we're the only ones that are really alive.

We know what's really important. We know if you get a chance at love you don't throw it away. Being in love with someone who loves you back is the best you can get in this world and they throw it away like garbage."

* * * * *

The band on stage slowed its paced and the two blondes slowed to a halt.

"Thank you." Anya's message was barely loud enough to be heard over the club's PA system.

"Just a dance, pet. No biggie."

"No." She took hold of his sleeve as he was about to leave the floor, making him look back into her face. "Thank you."

Forestalled by her grip on his coat, Spike in turn cupped his hands under the girls elbows and the pair began to sway in time to the music; looking into her eyes he silently encouraged her to continue.

"This is the first time since… It feels good to be with someone who understands."

"Intimately."

"This whole time, I've been coming on all hell bent and mad. Wanting his head, you know?"

"Yeah." It didn't take any effort at all for the vamp to understand her feelings.

She looked near to tears as she continued. "When, really, I can't sleep at night, thinking it has to be my fault somehow-"

"Shhhhh." The vampire pulled his companion into his arms, leaving only enough distance between them to allow him to focus on her face as all her pent up cares flowed out.

"I mean, what if he was just pretending? What if he never really wanted me? I mean the way I wanted…" Tears finally spilled from her eyes and she made an effort to regain control. "Oh God… I'm sorry."

Spike's voice was tender as he reassured her, his fingers moving to frame her cheeks, thumbs wiping away the tears as they trickled down. "Now, now… He'd have to be more than just the git he is, Anya. He'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to want a woman like you."

"Then why?"

"The two of them, they're weak is all." He pulled her tight in his arm, oblivious to the fact that whilst their motions had gradually stilled both the band and the crowd around them had returned to a more upbeat tempo.

* * * * *

The three original Scoobies had taken over the Summers' dining room, Willow tapping away at her laptop's keyboard while Buffy and Xander watched from the other end of the table.

The slayer pushed for her friend to break the security on the nerd's transmission. "Can you get a location?"

Willow glanced up at her answering the question with her eyes before she even opened her mouth. "Hey, I'm still me. Just one- whoa."

"What? What?" questioned the blonde.

"There are other cameras." Willow's hands stilled momentarily before she began to switch between different links. "Oh my God. The Double Meat Palace. The Bronze. My classrooms on campus. Xander's site… The Bronze…" The redhead cycled back to the feed from the club as her conscious brain caught up with what her subconscious had recognised on the first run through.

End of Chapter 2

Still fairly close to the episode but that will change.

Tell me what you think, you know you want to.

Chapter 3 – A Kiss & A Wish

Anya's tears had tailed off now and Spike's hands traced gentle caresses over her face. He placed a gentle kiss on her brow and she wrapped her arms around him under cover of a layer of black leather drawing physical and emotional support from the vampire's strength.

He spoke softly into her blonde curls, inhaling the green-apple scent of her shampoo. "They don't have the guts to follow their hearts. I wish they did, but they don't. They spend so much time being scared of everything that could go wrong that they won't let anything go right."

Anya ducked her head until her face was hidden between his chest and his duster. "Done," she whispered so quietly even Spike remained oblivious. A wave of surprise travelled through her as she realised who was the second recipient of her efforts. She reflexively raised her head, looking into Spike's eyes even as she admitted that on a certain level she had known the truth all along.

His forehead came to rest against hers and they stood in their own private world for minutes, each simply taking comfort from the other's closeness before the jostling crowd caused the vamp to guide Anya from the dance-floor.

"Come on, kitten. I'll walk you back to wherever you're staying before I go back to my place. A morsel as pretty as you's bound to run into trouble walking home alone after dark."

He paused to pick up the bag of candles from under the table they had previously occupied, and then moved sideways breaking a path through the club's patrons. He kept one arm draped protectively over her shoulders and Anya's arm circled his waist, her thumb hooked through the belt-loop on his jeans, each was reluctant to lose the connection engendered by the other's touch.

* * * * *

Buffy and Xander rose from their seats, moving around the table to get the screen in view just as Spike closed the gap between him and Anya.

"What?" Buffy was the first to query Willow's shocked expression, but the redhead was preoccupied with a belated attempt to prevent Xander's approach.

"Wait, Xander, no."

The young man, if anything, was hastened by her pleas and stared at the screen as Spike kissed his former fiancée, a desperate epithet falling from his lips at the sight. Buffy's look of horror soon matched Xander's own and after a quick glance at the brunette's face her gaze returned inexorably to the screen.

Around the monochrome pair the crowd gyrated and swayed but the two stood statue still oblivious to the seething motion around them.

The front door clashed shut and Dawn slung her backpack to the floor as she entered. "Hey guys, what's-" She too was drawn to the screen. For a second a huge smile illuminated her face until she looked across at Xander and it faded.

Willow glanced across at Buffy, hoping for guidance on how to deal with Xander and became aware of the same devastated look on her best friend's face. Microseconds later the younger Summers also noted her expression and drew her own conclusions.

Buffy's voice cut through the silence. "That's enough." She headed off through the living room. After a quick glance passed between the remaining females Dawn followed her. The pair barely had time to start a discussion when Willow caught up with them in the back yard.

"Buffy, Xander's gone… and he took a stake."

"Yeah. So. It's not like Spike can't…" Buffy's indignant response stalled as she remembered that her former kick-ass patrol partner had a major Achilles' heel. "Look after himself. Oh God. Does he have the car? How much of a head start has he got?" She even as she framed the questions the blonde was off and running round the side of the house.

"No and about a minute," Willow bounced on the balls of her feet as she shouted back.

"Sheesh," Dawn moved to watch over her shoulder and shook her head. "And she says she broke up with him. 'D Like to see how fast she could run if she was hung up on the guy."

"Love makes you do the wacky… well, um, not love, em, well in Xander's case, then love but… I think I'll go back and see if there are any more channels and then try to trace the source again."

Buffy caught up with Xander long before he got anywhere near the Bronze.

"Xander, you've got to calm down. You're not going to achieve anything by going after Spike."

"Other than an immense feeling of satisfaction, you mean? The thing should have been staked years ago."

"You don't even know what you saw. Maybe he was just comforting her. She's had a bit of a rough time lately and it's not like we've… Well, the rest of us are all closer to you than to her."

"Yeah, and Captain Sarcasm's the guy who's always there waiting when you're looking for a shoulder to cry on and I don't think." Buffy at least had the good grace to look uncomfortable but didn't interrupt. "He kissed her. Twice. He's decided to cut his losses as far as his little obsession with you's concerned. Now he's after her while she's vulnerable. Well, you know what. He's not going to get her. This thing stops right now."

"I still don't think you're right. It's not like he had his tongue down her throat or anything… is it? But, even if… Xander. You left her at the altar. You can't do that and then go throw your weight around like you've got some sort of claim."

"I can if I'm going to put her in a car, drive to Vegas and marry her tonight."

"You what?"

"When I was watching them, you know at first I just felt sick to my stomach. The whole thing just… eew. Then he kissed her and she sort of snuggled her face in against his chest, and right then I just had to do something about it. I'm the only one I want her getting that close to, and if the only way she'll have me back is if we get married, then we're getting married. I mean, it's not like we don't love each other. We do. And we'd been living together, that's pretty much like being married except for a little bit of paper. And I know I ruined her big day, but if we elope now we can always have a blessing done later when we've saved up some more money."

"Wow, big U turn."

"Yeah, well, I guess I got freaked about everything that could go wrong, but I've just got to make sure I don't let things happen like that."

"So, were you planning on staking Spike before or after the proposal?"

"…Okay, maybe it wouldn't make the best impression, but if he's trying to take advantage of her, it won't stop me."

Buffy looked over at Xander. "Think you can cover both of us in. I kind of left in a hurry and I don't have any money?"

"Sure."

The pair scanned the bar but finally conceded that their quarry had eluded them. Buffy, however caught sight of a familiar face, Willow's one-time history tutee.

"Percy, I'm looking for someone. She was here about ten, maybe fifteen minutes ago. Anya Jenkins, she was in our year?"

"Yeah, sweet lookin' chick." Percy became aware of Xander's presence behind Buffy. "Seems I heard she got dumped even worse than Xander that Valentine's day. Way harsh, dude. She left with some guy."

Buffy, turned to face Xander briefly, indicating with frantic eye movements that Xander should back off. "Look, we just want to be sure she's okay. The guy she left with, sort of white-blonde hair, leather coat, that right?" Percy looked over to where Xander now stood a few feet away before giving a brief nod.

"Did they look like they were together? I mean together together?"

Percy moved his head closer to Buffy's, pitching his voice so only she could hear. "Looked like more of a friends thing. They had some food, couple of beers. Danced a bit, then she got all upset. Chick was cryin' her eyes out in the middle of the dance floor. He seemed to get her calmed down and then they left. I'm not saying they weren't together, I mean, I wasn't about to go ask for a dance while she was with him, but..."

The jock looked over at Xander. "What's the deal with him anyway? Dump her then stalk her?"

"Not really. He heard she was here with that guy and he was worried about her. Look. Thanks."

"Yeah, fine."

Buffy went over to where Xander leant against the bar. "Percy reckons they weren't, you know… but we've pretty much missed them."

End of Chapter 3

Chapter 4 – There's Always Consequences

Spike arranged the candles in a circle around the herbs and other items he'd removed from the box. He read through the instructions in the spell book one more time making sure he had everything straight in his head before he started.

It was time.

Spike picked up one of the candles and held it at an angle, using his lighter to light the wick, then moved round the circle using it to light the others. He picked up the spell-book and moved into the circle before replacing the candle, closing the gap. He took a seat cross-legged on the floor behind the various accoutrements necessary for the spell and lit the incense in its censer. He took deliberate deep breaths, inhaling the fragrance, trying to clear his mind of all thoughts not directly connected to casting the spell. The candles had burned down a full two inches before his mind was calm and clear enough to proceed with the rest of the spell.

"Harken all ye elements, I summon thee now." He dropped something into a bowl resting inside a pentacle drawn in front of him.

"Control the outside, control within.

Land and sea, fire and wind.

Out of my passions, a web be spun.

From this eve forth, my will be done.

So mote it be."

Picking up a goblet from the floor he poured its contents into the bowl. Flickers of electricity flashed around the circle like blue-violet lightning. The flame atop each of the candles flared to a height of six inches before returning to normal. The crypt as still as the grave.

Spike finally rose and extinguished the candles one by one, clearing away them and the other items used in the spell. He was confident that the spell was active. The light show at the end was proof of that. Now he needed to check that it was working as he intended.

He retrieved the empty bourbon bottle from its resting place on the floor. "I will this bottle to be filled again." He watched and waited. Nothing happened.

He let forth an exhausted sigh. "Guess I'm not all that passionate about alcohol after all… So much for the test run."

Spike let the events of the last few days run through his head. He focused on the pain that Buffy had caused him. He let her rejections make him angry and he thought of how it had infuriated him when she had said she didn't love him because he knew even if she didn't want to there was part of her that did. Only when his rage was like a red-hot coal inside him did he give voice to his desires.

"I wish that Buffy would decide exactly what it is that she really wants."

* * * * *

Buffy made her way through the centre of town, her shift at the Double Meat Palace finally over. She hadn't heard from Xander since they had finally parted company at dawn this morning. It was only after they had left the Bronze that the two of them had realised that neither of them had even asked Anya where she was staying. The Magic Box had been shuttered and dark and Spike's crypt barren; cold and forbidding.

She had checked the subterranean portion of his home and found that whilst the room had been cleaned and those items damaged beyond repair had been removed, he had made no effort to make the room hospitable. She had felt guilty, not for the obvious reason that she had been the one to destroy it, but for something worse. She had felt that his efforts to make that room seem like a home had been part of how he'd tried to be better for her. Like some sort of nest-building exercise. The fact that he hadn't made any effort to restore the room seemed to be a sign of defeatism on his part. She had thought about all their times together, as enemies, as allies, as friends and as lovers. Always there had been a fire in everything he did, never still unless in sleep. His eyes always betraying some form of emotion, be it hatred, despair, sympathy, lust or love. Even though she knew he was dead, she had never known anyone with more passion for life. As she had looked round that sterile chamber, scrubbed until the smells of lemon and pine obliterated the lingering odours of soot, ash and burnt vinyl, she felt like she had broken some essential part of him, like she had somehow desecrated a work of art.

That feeling had stayed with her all night as she and Xander waited for his return. The hours had been slow to pass. Xander had paced the room, fidgeting with the stake he carried, checking his watch every few minutes, his ramblings first hopeful, then accusatory, then worried and back to accusatory again. Finally, the sun peaking over the horizon had forced him to admit that it was unlikely the vamp would return to his lair and Buffy had felt free to return home and get ready for work. Just the same she couldn't help but spend all day wondering just what it was that had kept Spike so busy he wasn't home before sunrise.

She told herself that she was just going home this way because it took her past Starbucks and she really wanted a proper coffee, not the stewed brew that came with non-dairy creamer which they sold in DMP, but something foamy and delicious. It was only coincidence that she would pass both The Magic Box and Spike's crypt. Pure coincidence.

Of course, now that she'd actually got into Starbucks she had no idea what she actually wanted. Hot or cold? Small, medium or large? What blend? Half-fat, whole-fat, No-fat? Half-caff, Decaff or regular? Oh boy, choices, choices. It always took her a full five minutes to make up her mind. She pulled the change from her pocket, comparing it with the price of the various coffees.

Then, instantly it came to her. Medium, half-fat, half-caff, iced mint mocha. Perfection.

* * * * *

Spike wondered if this was working. The thing was he didn't want to repeat Red's mistake. He had to make his wishes and then end the spell. The little Wicca had decided the spell wasn't working and then every little thing she said when she was all fired up started coming true, including him and Buffy getting engaged. If he wanted to, he could make that same wish, but he didn't want Buffy like that. Not if he could do it properly. He wanted the feelings she had for him to be genuine, not some spell-induced figment of her imagination. He didn't want to use the spell to make her fall in love with him. He just wanted her to own up and stop kidding herself about the feelings she did have.

"I wish Buffy would be honest about her feelings, to herself and others."

* * * * *

Buffy took her coffee and strolled in the direction of The Magic Box. When she got there her little sister was sitting on the shop's doorstep and the shutters were still down, or back down.

"Hey, Dawn."

"Hey to you too."

"No Anya?" Buffy tried to conceal the turmoil caused by Anya's absence.

"No Anya. Did you find her and Spike last night?"

"No. No sign at the Bronze and Spike was a dirty stop-out and didn't make it home all night."

"So, d'you think…?" Dawn raised an eyebrow.

Buffy just shrugged her shoulders.

"If they had, would you care?" Dawn asked quietly as Buffy joined her on the doorstep.

"No, I mean it would just kill Xander if-"

"I'm asking about you not Xander. Would you care?"

"Me? …Care what Spike does? …Of course n-… I do." Buffy slapped a hand to her mouth. 'What on earth did I just say? …and in front of Dawn.'

"So if you have feelings for him, then why did you break up with him."

"Because I finally had to face up to the fact that sooner or later, if he stays here, he'll do something that'll force me to kill him. So I broke things off before I got any deeper in, before I ended up feeling more for that blonde pest than I already do because I'm not strong enough to do that again. I just can't… and because I'm ashamed of myself for being with him, so whenever we're together and anyone sees us I treat him badly 'cause I don't want them to think there's… It's easier if I keep people thinking that I hate him. Then, I'm ashamed because he's in love with me and that makes him vulnerable and I keep treating him like dirt. It's all sorts of badness, and that's just the tip of the iceberg."

Dawn smiled at her sister. Her happiness at being confided in, at being treated like an equal evidenced by the gleam in her eyes.

* * * * *

'Okay, one last item on the wish list and then it's time to call it quits on this little escapade.'

Spike worked himself up into a temper again, ready to make his last wish. 'It's real for me, is it? Well, it's going to be real for you too, pet. No more treating Spike like a simpleton who can't even know how he feels without Buffy telling him he's wrong.'

"I wish that Buffy would really truly understand my feelings for her."

He picked up a piece of paper on which he had scribbled some notes. Unlike Willow, he didn't want to reverse the spell effects he might have achieved. He just wanted to make sure he didn't inadvertently cause any disasters, so now he had to close of the spell from accepting further wishes.

" These wishes are all that I ask

With these things done, no further task,

By earth and air, water and fire,

No more events, my will inspire.

So mote it be."

* * * * *

"But if there's all this badness, then you must have cared about him a lot, or it wouldn't have lasted as long as it did."

"I don't know about that. At the start I was just numb, but with him I felt alive. I knew it wasn't fair on him, but I used him to get me through. I would have probably had a nervous breakdown if he hadn't helped-"

"Buffy?" Dawn shook her sister's shoulder. "Buffy?" Her sister sat on the doorstep, both hands holding her coffee in which the ice was rapidly melting. Her eyes were empty as her grave.

"Buffy, speak to me. Buffy, you can't leave again. I need you. Stay with me." She shook Buffy harder. "Please wake up, please."

End of Chapter 4

Chapter 5 – California Dreamin'

"Buffy, come back. Buffy?"

Dawn tried to shake her sister back into awareness. When that didn't work she started working out her options. She couldn't leave her unattended. It was still daylight but just the same it was Sunnydale. Taking the coffee from her hands and placing it on the ground she pulled her sister to her feet. Relief flowed through her. It worked. At least Buffy wasn't frozen to the spot and once she pulled her halfway, it was as if she did the rest of it and stayed upright on her own.

So far, so good. She pulled Buffy's bag from her shoulder and checked her purse. There was thirty dollars in it. She replaced the purse in her bag and put the bag over her own shoulder. She took Buffy's hand and walked a few paces. Buffy's body shuffled along behind her. When she stopped, it stopped. If she wasn't pulling on its arm it just stood motionless except for an occasional blink. It was all creeping Dawn out in a major way. If there was anyone else here to take charge she would just freak out and let them get on with it, but she was on her own, for now.

She pulled Buffy's body toward the nearest phone box. The first number she tried rang several times and then a machine kicked in.

"Xander, if you're there, pick up. It's Dawn…" She waited for a while but there was no response and she replaced the receiver. Willow might or might not be home but there wasn't anything Willow could do about getting the pair of them home. Why was it out of all the people who knew about the weird stuff only two of them could drive and one of them was solarly challenged and didn't have a phone? Dawn dialled a number she found on one of the stickers that festooned the booth summoning a taxi.

* * * * *

Buffy was dreaming. It was a very strange dream. She was dreaming about the night that Riley came back to town, but it was like she was watching herself. She watched herself enter Spike's crypt, feeling a tingle of excitement, a sudden happiness that she was at a loss to explain. She hadn't been happy that night and that "low down tingle" as Faith had once so eloquently put it, well it was there, but it sure wasn't right.

She tried to look down at her body, but it seemed as if she had no control. Okay, this was too weird. Time to wake up. Now… please? Try as she might she couldn't force herself to wake up. Words were coming out of her mouth, but they weren't her words. They were Spike's words. She knew exactly what Spike had been going to say when she asked him to say he wanted her and she could feel it as well. Oh my God. She was hitchhiking in Spike's body. The desire, the hope and, God help her, the love she was feeling, they were his. It was the way he had felt that night.

She relived the earlier part of that night, from her entrance into the crypt until Spike finally drifted off to sleep, holding her in his arms. She was aware for the first time that he had been awake long after she had succumbed to her fatigue, blissfully happy just to watch her, to be allowed that close to her post coitus.

Then the dream changed, or she rode piggy back as he dreamt another dream within his dream. Spike and Xander were talking to some old man. The old man was asking about a spell Dawn did. He said she changed her mind, and Buffy felt the wave of grief at the memory before she realised what he was talking about. Spike had brought Dawn here. He had helped her when she tried to resurrect her mother. Spike had grieved for her mother? He had grieved for himself and for her pain and Dawn's.

The old guy warned her to stay away from hell-gods and she knew how much she wanted to take that advice except that choice was no choice at all because she loved Dawn more than her own life. Suddenly the old man leaped diagonally across the room in a way that suggested he wasn't an old man at all and then it was behind her but when she turned it was holding a sword to her throat. She managed to swat the blade out of the monster's hand but the manoeuvre forced her to fall over backward scattering a pile of books.

Xander tried to take advantage of it being disarmed but the beast's tongue came out like a lizard's knocking him into the wall. From her semi-prone position on the ground she watched the sole of its foot come toward her face. It picked up a wooden box and threw it into the fire returning to grab her by her T-shirt threatening her before Xander recovered enough to tackle it.

She knew that the box was her only hope to find out what she needed to know to save Dawn, and that made her brave the flames that she knew were potentially fatal. By the time she pulled the box from the flames Xander had recovered the dropped sword and driven it through the chest of the demon and his blood seeped from the wound like blue washing-up liquid.

She was going to leave and part of her knew that in real life she had done but some intuition forced her not to. Passing the box to Xander, she pulled the blade from the wound and used it to sever the demon's head from its body, throwing it into the fireplace. The eyes opened, no longer human looking but irises black and enlarged and the mouth opened in a silent scream. She watched until the head shrivelled and blackened and then she picked up the sword once more and hacked the remains to pieces.

The scene changed and she crouched with Xander and Anya at the bottom of the tower. Glory's underlings defended the bottom of the stairs but time was working in the slayer's favour. As long as Dream Buffy could keep Glory busy there was no one to perform the sacrifice. There would have been but there wasn't. She watched as Glory turned back into Ben and Dream Buffy rushed to the top of the tower untying her sister and bringing her down.

Glory's minions had scattered once she was defeated and Buffy knew that Spike wanted to rush to meet his women as he thought of them. Instead he slipped away into the shadows knowing he wouldn't be wanted now he had played his part. She watched from a distance as Dream Buffy brought her sister unharmed to the ground and her heart filled with pride and love before she walked away.

A door appeared in front of her and she opened it walking through into either a costume party or a party from Spike's youth. Her eyes scanned the room drawn to a couple who shared a sofa. She moved toward them but for some reason she was reluctant to do so. She knew that watching this was going to dig up some old remembered pain, but she didn't see how. The man was mousy, timid and he sat with his shoulders rounded in as if he was trying to make himself look smaller, like he preferred to be ignored. The woman for some reason looked vaguely familiar, but Buffy couldn't quite place her.

She moved closer, close enough to hear what the pair were saying. She realised as she heard him speak, even though the tone was more refined than she was used to, that this was Spike, or rather William.

"I know… it's sudden and… please, if they're no good, they're only words but… the feeling behind them… I love you, Buffy."

The sound of her own name threw her and she realised that the woman in the crinoline was in fact now her. She had been busy concentrating on Spike and the world had changed around her. The girl with her face responded to William's pleas.

"Please stop!"

"I know I'm a bad poet but I'm a good man… and all I ask is that you try to see me-"

"I do see you. That's the problem. You're nothing to me, William. You're beneath me."

Bank notes fluttered round her as she sat in the alley by the Bronze, tears running down her face, as she watched the slayers retreating back.

"But you don't see me. I've tried to make it clear to you, but you won't see it." She rose from the ground before carrying on with what she had to say to Dream Buffy, who had halted when she heard Spike's voice. "Something happened to me. The way I feel … about you … it's different. And no matter how hard you try to convince yourself it isn't, it's real."

She watched Dream Buffy's feet as she turned to face her. "I think it is." Her eyes rose to look at the other Buffy's face, her heart filled with hope. "For you."

A pain so deep it was almost physical lanced through her. She drew a deep breath that she didn't need as her eyes flew wide. She realised that her cheeks were wet and wiped at them with her hand, but it made little difference as more tears kept falling.

End of Chapter 5

Okay bin or keep going?

You tell me…