Chapter 5: New Friends and Old
After the Angel was defeated, Shinji got his reward, 25,000 yen and a long weekend. But that was three days ago. As he looked back on those three days he remembered that he and Ranma had gone to the mall to spend his 55,000 yen. Their first stop was the clothing store, to procure some new clothes that would not leave Ranma in such a compromising position each time the transformation took effect. They settled on a sleeveless latex suit just slightly bigger than Shinji. It was a perfect form fitting fit for Ranma. (Which was partially the reason they got it in that size, he had a great female body and wanted to show it off, (mostly to get free stuff)) and an oversized T-shirt. Their next stop was the athletic store to pick up some weights and other equipment. Shinji had to get the clerk to help him carry the equipment to the door. He then ducked into a nearby empty store where the clerk was sleeping on the job, and kicked in the transformation. Ranma easily carried the weights as they walked through the mall. With only 500 yen left, they decided to go home and start Shinji on his training schedule right away. For the next three days Shinji worked out hard. He only stopped to make supper, go to the bathroom and sleep. By the time Monday came around he was exhausted, but his hard work seemed to have paid off slightly. For three days of work his muscles were already starting to show some definition and ripple. They were still very small but they were responding amazingly well to the conditioning. Ranma thought that they were progressing a little too fast. There was no way that his muscles should respond to training this fast, it wasn't humanly possible. But then again it wasn't humanly possible for a boy to change into a girl by getting hit with cold water either, so he put it out of his mind and just accepted the fact. It was now Monday and Shinji had to go to school. He was sore, all over. Even his teeth hurt. / Morning sleepyhead. You've got to get to school today. / ^ Shut up Ranma, I'm sore all over and it's all your fault. ^ / Go ahead blame the dead man, I warned you to put that heating rub on last night but did you listen, noooooo. / Shinji rolled over on his side. Right onto a sleeping Pen Pen. The penguin was not in the least happy to be rolled on. It started pecking him and kicking with it's feet. Shinji rolled off him right onto the floor. / A nice hot shower should cure that weightlifters hangover you've got there. / He started crawling towards the shower, again not noticing the 'Occupied: Do not Enter' sign. A wet naked Misato watched as Shinji crawled by in his boxer shorts into the shower. This time he managed to reach the water faucet and turn it on to a semi respectable temperature. She finished drying and went out to make breakfast. + He must really be sore, serves him right though for working out like that. Although he's really starting to show. + Ranma was right the hot water relaxed his muscles and he walked out of the shower with a towel around his waist. When he'd finished dressing he went to put on his Nerv hat. / You gotta put it on backwards, that's cool. / ^ Backwards, Ranma that is so 20th century. Here in 2014 we wear our hats inside out and to the back. ^ / You sure you know what's cool? / ^ Positive, besides what would they think if they saw the Nerv logo. ^ / Whatever you say kid. / Shinji walked out of his room looking fairly cool and about a year older than he actually was. He froze when he saw the feast that was before him. Curry scrambled eggs Misato style, beer, hashbrowns in beer (with curry sauce), more beer, Microwaved pancakes (in beer and imitation syrup), even more beer, Corn Flakes in beer. (I've actually tried the Corn Flakes in beer it actually tastes pretty good but it must be a Canadian ale like Molson ice, or Labbat blue or light) Misato was busy chowing down on the Corn Flakes and beer. The only thing that didn't have beer or curry in it was Pen Pen's food, raw fish and rice. Shinji eyed it hungrily. Pen Pen warked grabbed his bowl and ran away from Shinji who was chasing him. Misato chose not to notice Shinji chasing her pet and her pet's food around the apartment. She finished her food and slammed back the rest of her beer, and looked at her watch. "Shinji you're going to be late for school." She got up and left for work. Shinji stopped chasing Pen Pen around and looked him squarely in the eyes. "One day penguin, one day you're going to find her cooking in your bowl, on that day you will suffer the wrath of her bad cooking, and maybe you'll survive and learn to share the wealth." With that he left. Pen Pen warked, waddled over to his fridge, pulled out a Bud Light. "Do bee do bee doooo."
Shinji made it to school in plenty of time, but as fate (me) would have it he could not get anywhere. In his path was the infallible Kaechi Kuno. "Halt foul sorcerer Ikari. I know of your wicked deeds and how you are holding the fair pigtailed girl hostage and bound to your will. I Kaechi Kuno shall defeat you and free her from your wicked grasp." ^ Who is this guy? And where does he get this stupid idea that I'm some kind of sorcerer or something? ^ / He's a Kuno, that line was never known for it's brains, but if I'm right and Nabiki's his mother, he really should know better than that. / "Or if you would prefer I will spare you my wrath, and you will release the fair maid and pay me 5000 yen." / Well at least we know his mother taught him well. / "You want her released from my control, then you've got to beat me first." / What the hell do you think you're doing? The last thing you want to do is enforce his paranoid delusions. / ^ Trust me I know what I'm doing, I can't lose. ^ / Great now as long as you don't get killed we should just be fine. / Kuno charged, his bokken held high above his head readying for the strike. Shinji just stood there. Kuno started his swing, Shinji sidestepped, spun around and landed a full force 360 front crescent kick (like Guile from SF2) right to Kuno's ass, instant Low earth orbit martial artist. / Nice. Still your landing after the kick and follow through still need some work. / ^ Yeah I think I gave him too much backspin though, I'm not sure if he'll even make orbit. ^ Meanwhile at Nerv Headquarters. "Sir we've got outgoing!" "Nature of the target?" responded Gendo in his usual monotone voice. "It's not an Angel, could be a missile." "Is there a heat signature?" "No sir, it could be a dropper missile." "Could it be a LEOMA?" "Sir there hasn't been a confirmed case of Low Earth Orbit Martial Artist, in over ten years." Gendo thought for a moment. "You're right, arm the tachion interceptor missiles and shoot it down." A few button presses away. "Missiles away sir." A few minutes later. "Target remains!" "Hmmm then it has to be a LEOMA. Jan, erase all computer records and conveniently 'lose' two tachions from our inventory." "You mean cover it up, sir?" "YOU mean cover what up?"
Meanwhile back at the school. Shinji was bored, he'd heard the same boring stories about how the Second impact changed society. He decided to nod off and leave the learning to Ranma. Ranma however had another idea. He wanted to look up some old friends. He had Shinji's knowledge of computer systems, and had learned a lot about hacking from reading stuff on the internet 3. Whereas when he was alive he couldn't use a computer to save his life, now he was hacking government agencies. / Hmm let's see here. Akane Tendo. Oh man she married Ryoga, let's see two kids, Reika and Ranko. Ukyo married Kei, two kids Shichu and Kaneda. Wow Mousse finally married Shampoo, two kids Hariku and Choja. Man these are weird names. Seems everybody turned out just fine without me. / The bell rang and woke Shinji. ^ What are you doing don't you know hacking is not right. ^ / You can stop one but you can not stop us all. Isn't that part of the hacker's creed. / ^ I give up. ^ In the hallway he was stopped by a large boy and a smaller boy with glasses. "Shinji I know you're the pilot of that stupid robot, and that you were the one who stepped on my sister." He threw a punch at Shinji's head, which he dodged. "Uh Touji I don't think you should be doing that." "Shut up Kensuke, I know what I'm doing."
"I'm sorry about your sister but I had no choice." Shinji shot back. "Yeah right. Like I'm supposed to believe you." He launched another punch, which Shinji just dodged. "You don't understand I am the only one who can pilot it." "You've got to be kidding me, a big operation like Nerv has to use kids to pilot the robots, ha you expect me to believe that you were the only pilot, fat chance." Yet another punch. "You're right they did have another pilot." "Then why didn't you let him fight that thing, you obviously hadn't been in it before, and couldn't drive worth a damn." "The reason I had to pilot the damn thing is that the other pilot is Rei." Touji was taken aback. He stopped attacking. "Rei? She's a pilot. I always knew she was weird but this is just a little much. Why didn't you let her pilot then?"
"Do you know why Rei hasn't been to school in a while?" "No." "The reason why is because she was almost killed in one of the tests and if she'd gone out there to fight that Angel she would have died." "Why couldn't you have just let the military kill that thing."
"Conventional weapons have no effect, if I hadn't killed it, everybody would be dead, do you understand, if the Angels win Second Impact is going to look like a firecracker." "I. I'm sorry, I didn't know you had that much responsibility." "It's ok, truce?" "Alright. My name's Touji and this here is Kensuke." They both turned to look at Kensuke who was furiously scribbling notes about the conversation for analysis later. "He's a military nut." Kensuke finished. He turned to Shinji. "That's it? Any more." Shinji walked up to Kensuke and smiled. "Sure there's a lot more but if I tell you, I'd have to kill you." He raised his finger and poked the middle of Kensuke's forehead. "Bang." Shinji looked down at his watch. "Oh man I'm late, I've got to get home, Misato's going to kill me." In unison. "Who's Misato." "She's looking after me when I'm working for Nerv." He grabbed his CD books and the trio ran out of the school. Touji not looking where he was going ran right into Misato's chest. He looked up, and started babbling incoherently. Shinji caught up with him. "Hey Misato." "Hey Shinji, I've got a surprise for you." "Huh?" "Just come on. And bring your friend." As they were walking. "I'm Kensuke, mam." He looked up at her insignia and her rank indicator. "And you must be Captain Katsuragi." Misato's eyes widened. "How did you know that." "Well Shinji told us that he was staying with a person named Misato, I deduced it must be a Nerv officer, and since you're the only Captain in Nerv Japan, I figured it must be you." "But how did you. Oh never mind." Touji was still mumbling something, he was happy. "And the sexually stunned idiot over there is Touji. Give him a while, he should be ok." They rounded the gate. Misato tossed something at Shinji. He looked down at it, it was a card key with an American bald eagle on the back. "You mean?" She nodded. "Mm hm." He looked around at the street, there it was, a brand new 2014 hog, almost exactly to his specs. It had a bit more chrome than he'd asked for (actually he didn't even think of chrome but looking at it now, he was glad it had. It was beautiful.) On the gas tank was a tastefully done green dragon on a black gas tank. Underneath the dragon were the words Eva Unit 02. The license plate was blatant advertising. 'Nerv 1' it read. Shinji thought that doing a little PR work for the organization was a small price to pay for such a sweet ride. On the passenger's seat there was a black leather jacket with a big Nerv symbol on the back, and a pair of 'Terminator' style sunglasses. "Shinji what's with you?" Kensuke asked. "Oh sweet, thanks Misato she's beautiful." "Oh yeah one more thing, your access card is now also your drivers license." Shinji donned the jacket and the sunglasses. He turned around. "What'da ya think?" "Shinji what are you doing!" Kensuke shouted. "Don't worry man, it's just a perk of the job." "Where do I sign up?" asked Touji looking over the bike. Misato seeing that Shinji was totally enthralled with his new toy turned and headed for her car. She knew he was too smart to ride without a helmet, and she knew that he knew how to drive. (She checked into his background in Russia and learned that he had been taught how to drive by his teacher when he was twelve.) Unfortunately for the citizens of Tokyo 3 Misato's driving was not as impeccable as Shinji's as she tore around a corner almost killing three pedestrians and coming millimeters away from sideswiping a truck. "So Touji, Kensuke you guys want a ride?" They both looked nervously at each other. "Uh maybe some other time." "Suit yourself." Shinji inserted the key card and pushed the electric start, the bike roared to life. As always the Harley's had a distinctive rumble. In the early 21st century Harley Davidson had to work on the 'acoustics' of the exhaust system, since anti pollution laws prohibited the massive exhaust output required for a deep resonance frequency. He rumbled off into the distance looking really impressive. "I think I'll be walking for a while." Touji nodded. "Let's go visit your sister." They walked off towards the central hospital.
Shinji was having a great time, he'd never ridden an actual motorcycle before. All they had in Russia were old BMW's and some crappy Japanese crotch rockets, they gave really horrible rides, not like this. He leaned back and eased down the throttle. The quad V-engine came to life and propelled the bike at ease down the street. He was about to open her up to see the exact limits of his new bike, when he saw a lone figure wandering down the street. He had a backpack and a headband on. / Hey that looks like a Hibiki. He's probably lost. / ^ I think I'll go ask him. ^ He eased the bike up beside the wandering boy. It was Reika. "Hey Reika, want a ride?" Reika turned and looked at him. He amazingly recognized him as Shinji the pilot boy. "I don't think I should." "You're a Hibiki aren't you?"
"Uh yeah." "Are you lost?"
Reika scratched the back of his head and laughed stupidly. "Yeah I'm totally lost, I can't figure out why this GPS system never seems to work." "Hop on I'll drive you home." "How do you know where I live?" "Onboard computer navigation, I just look up your address and it guides me there." On the road neither of them noticed that the clouds were gathering. Just as they pulled up to the gate of the dojo it began to pour. Both of them transformed. Ranma had a hard time unzipping the jacket, it was custom made for Shinji and didn't fit her, and it would not give or tear, so it was a tight fit. He looked on the road and there was a small black piglet trying to pull his clothes and pack towards the house. Ranma picked up the piglet, and the other stuff. He looked down at the piglet. "Well at least we know you're a Hibiki all right. Let's go get you some hot water" Ranma was holding the now pig Reika way to close to her chest, it was too much he passed out. / Oh great just like Ryoga could never get close to a woman without passing out or blowing a blood vessel. / ^ Look at it this way at least he's not squirming. ^ They entered the house. Ranma noticed that it looked amazingly similar to the Tendo dojo except there was a lot less damage. / If this is an almost duplicate of the original, then the kitchen should be this way. / Ranma walked in the direction that the kitchen should have been. He began to smell something resembling food coming from the kitchen. He opened the door and there she was standing at the stove cooking away, his mind froze. She heard the kitchen door open and turned to look at who it was. "Oh hello Ranko, I thought you weren't going to be home for a while." She stopped talking. Her expression turned to one of anger. "Ranko Saotome, didn't I tell you never to dye your hair, and how many times have I told you to stop stuffing your bra. "Huh?" Akane stormed over to Ranma and grabbed him by the ear and hauled him over to the sink. She shoved his head under the tap and started scrubbing as hard as she could. "Damn it Ranko what did you use? I guess we'll just have to let it wear out." She reached into the shirt to remove the tissue paper from her 'daughters' bra but instead found a latex jumpsuit over all natural breasts. Her eyes widened and she jumped back. Ranma was getting furious. "What the hell was that for you uncute tomboy!" Akane not knowing what was happening pulled her new and improved mallet from behind her back. "Alright who are you?" she demanded. "You don't recognize me?" ^ Duh of course she doesn't recognize you to her your dead remember. ^ It suddenly dawned on her, and she relaxed on the mallet a bit. "Wait you're that kid pilot aren't you, the one who almost stepped on my kids, Uh Shinji isn't it?" "Sort of, it's a long story, you'd better sit down." And as an after thought. "Jeez Akane you've really let yourself slide." That was the last straw, she'd already been insulted twice by this person and that last one was the last straw. "Whoever you are NO BAKA!!" She raised the hammer and prepared to pummel the girl in front of her. Ranma saw the attack coming and decided that the best way out was to disarm her. "Katchu Tenshin Amogouriken!" In three seconds flat he'd reduced the wooden mallet to a pair of finely crafted chopsticks. Akane slowed to a dead stop and looked at the remains of her best mallet. She looked at the girl. "N. No It couldn't be, he's been dead for twenty years." Ranma nodded his head. "Ranma?" He nodded again. "You can't be alive, you're dead!" "Who says I'm not." With that Ranma ran up and jumped at Akane knocking her down and giving her a really deep kiss. Reika chose a really, really, REALLY bad time to wake up. There was his mother, on the floor, being kissed by a girl that looked almost exactly like his sister. He gave off a high pitched squeal and then keeled over. Ranma and Akane broke the kiss to look at the source of the noise. There was Reika on the floor on his back with blood gushing out of his nose like a water fountain. Akane rushed over to her son sending Ranma tumbling. She picked him up and quickly turned him over and stuffed some tissue up his nose and placed him on his stomach in the sink. She rushed to the closet and grabbed some cleaning tools and quickly cleaned up the blood before it could stain. Then she smelled something, the dinner was burning. "Oh no." "As good a cook as ever I see." Ranma had his back turned to her. WHAM. There was Akane standing behind him holding a giant mallet. "What the hell was that?" "It's my stealth mallet, you never see it coming." Ranma staggered over to the table and sat down, Akane checked on her son and placed him on a dish and carried him to the table as well. When she sat down Ranma began his story about how he'd gone to Jusenkyo, gotten killed and how he'd met up with Shinji and their current situation. "Well that's more or less it." He looked around and saw a family picture. In it was Akane sitting down with Reika and Ranko around her, Ryoga was standing in the background facing the wrong way, with a total lost look on his face. "Hey Akane, what happened to my mom?" "What do you mean?" "Well why did you agree to take care of Ranko for her?" "You mean you don't know?" "Know what?" Akane took a deep breath. "Ranma, Ranko's YOUR daughter." A dull thud.
"Ranma?"
After the Angel was defeated, Shinji got his reward, 25,000 yen and a long weekend. But that was three days ago. As he looked back on those three days he remembered that he and Ranma had gone to the mall to spend his 55,000 yen. Their first stop was the clothing store, to procure some new clothes that would not leave Ranma in such a compromising position each time the transformation took effect. They settled on a sleeveless latex suit just slightly bigger than Shinji. It was a perfect form fitting fit for Ranma. (Which was partially the reason they got it in that size, he had a great female body and wanted to show it off, (mostly to get free stuff)) and an oversized T-shirt. Their next stop was the athletic store to pick up some weights and other equipment. Shinji had to get the clerk to help him carry the equipment to the door. He then ducked into a nearby empty store where the clerk was sleeping on the job, and kicked in the transformation. Ranma easily carried the weights as they walked through the mall. With only 500 yen left, they decided to go home and start Shinji on his training schedule right away. For the next three days Shinji worked out hard. He only stopped to make supper, go to the bathroom and sleep. By the time Monday came around he was exhausted, but his hard work seemed to have paid off slightly. For three days of work his muscles were already starting to show some definition and ripple. They were still very small but they were responding amazingly well to the conditioning. Ranma thought that they were progressing a little too fast. There was no way that his muscles should respond to training this fast, it wasn't humanly possible. But then again it wasn't humanly possible for a boy to change into a girl by getting hit with cold water either, so he put it out of his mind and just accepted the fact. It was now Monday and Shinji had to go to school. He was sore, all over. Even his teeth hurt. / Morning sleepyhead. You've got to get to school today. / ^ Shut up Ranma, I'm sore all over and it's all your fault. ^ / Go ahead blame the dead man, I warned you to put that heating rub on last night but did you listen, noooooo. / Shinji rolled over on his side. Right onto a sleeping Pen Pen. The penguin was not in the least happy to be rolled on. It started pecking him and kicking with it's feet. Shinji rolled off him right onto the floor. / A nice hot shower should cure that weightlifters hangover you've got there. / He started crawling towards the shower, again not noticing the 'Occupied: Do not Enter' sign. A wet naked Misato watched as Shinji crawled by in his boxer shorts into the shower. This time he managed to reach the water faucet and turn it on to a semi respectable temperature. She finished drying and went out to make breakfast. + He must really be sore, serves him right though for working out like that. Although he's really starting to show. + Ranma was right the hot water relaxed his muscles and he walked out of the shower with a towel around his waist. When he'd finished dressing he went to put on his Nerv hat. / You gotta put it on backwards, that's cool. / ^ Backwards, Ranma that is so 20th century. Here in 2014 we wear our hats inside out and to the back. ^ / You sure you know what's cool? / ^ Positive, besides what would they think if they saw the Nerv logo. ^ / Whatever you say kid. / Shinji walked out of his room looking fairly cool and about a year older than he actually was. He froze when he saw the feast that was before him. Curry scrambled eggs Misato style, beer, hashbrowns in beer (with curry sauce), more beer, Microwaved pancakes (in beer and imitation syrup), even more beer, Corn Flakes in beer. (I've actually tried the Corn Flakes in beer it actually tastes pretty good but it must be a Canadian ale like Molson ice, or Labbat blue or light) Misato was busy chowing down on the Corn Flakes and beer. The only thing that didn't have beer or curry in it was Pen Pen's food, raw fish and rice. Shinji eyed it hungrily. Pen Pen warked grabbed his bowl and ran away from Shinji who was chasing him. Misato chose not to notice Shinji chasing her pet and her pet's food around the apartment. She finished her food and slammed back the rest of her beer, and looked at her watch. "Shinji you're going to be late for school." She got up and left for work. Shinji stopped chasing Pen Pen around and looked him squarely in the eyes. "One day penguin, one day you're going to find her cooking in your bowl, on that day you will suffer the wrath of her bad cooking, and maybe you'll survive and learn to share the wealth." With that he left. Pen Pen warked, waddled over to his fridge, pulled out a Bud Light. "Do bee do bee doooo."
Shinji made it to school in plenty of time, but as fate (me) would have it he could not get anywhere. In his path was the infallible Kaechi Kuno. "Halt foul sorcerer Ikari. I know of your wicked deeds and how you are holding the fair pigtailed girl hostage and bound to your will. I Kaechi Kuno shall defeat you and free her from your wicked grasp." ^ Who is this guy? And where does he get this stupid idea that I'm some kind of sorcerer or something? ^ / He's a Kuno, that line was never known for it's brains, but if I'm right and Nabiki's his mother, he really should know better than that. / "Or if you would prefer I will spare you my wrath, and you will release the fair maid and pay me 5000 yen." / Well at least we know his mother taught him well. / "You want her released from my control, then you've got to beat me first." / What the hell do you think you're doing? The last thing you want to do is enforce his paranoid delusions. / ^ Trust me I know what I'm doing, I can't lose. ^ / Great now as long as you don't get killed we should just be fine. / Kuno charged, his bokken held high above his head readying for the strike. Shinji just stood there. Kuno started his swing, Shinji sidestepped, spun around and landed a full force 360 front crescent kick (like Guile from SF2) right to Kuno's ass, instant Low earth orbit martial artist. / Nice. Still your landing after the kick and follow through still need some work. / ^ Yeah I think I gave him too much backspin though, I'm not sure if he'll even make orbit. ^ Meanwhile at Nerv Headquarters. "Sir we've got outgoing!" "Nature of the target?" responded Gendo in his usual monotone voice. "It's not an Angel, could be a missile." "Is there a heat signature?" "No sir, it could be a dropper missile." "Could it be a LEOMA?" "Sir there hasn't been a confirmed case of Low Earth Orbit Martial Artist, in over ten years." Gendo thought for a moment. "You're right, arm the tachion interceptor missiles and shoot it down." A few button presses away. "Missiles away sir." A few minutes later. "Target remains!" "Hmmm then it has to be a LEOMA. Jan, erase all computer records and conveniently 'lose' two tachions from our inventory." "You mean cover it up, sir?" "YOU mean cover what up?"
Meanwhile back at the school. Shinji was bored, he'd heard the same boring stories about how the Second impact changed society. He decided to nod off and leave the learning to Ranma. Ranma however had another idea. He wanted to look up some old friends. He had Shinji's knowledge of computer systems, and had learned a lot about hacking from reading stuff on the internet 3. Whereas when he was alive he couldn't use a computer to save his life, now he was hacking government agencies. / Hmm let's see here. Akane Tendo. Oh man she married Ryoga, let's see two kids, Reika and Ranko. Ukyo married Kei, two kids Shichu and Kaneda. Wow Mousse finally married Shampoo, two kids Hariku and Choja. Man these are weird names. Seems everybody turned out just fine without me. / The bell rang and woke Shinji. ^ What are you doing don't you know hacking is not right. ^ / You can stop one but you can not stop us all. Isn't that part of the hacker's creed. / ^ I give up. ^ In the hallway he was stopped by a large boy and a smaller boy with glasses. "Shinji I know you're the pilot of that stupid robot, and that you were the one who stepped on my sister." He threw a punch at Shinji's head, which he dodged. "Uh Touji I don't think you should be doing that." "Shut up Kensuke, I know what I'm doing."
"I'm sorry about your sister but I had no choice." Shinji shot back. "Yeah right. Like I'm supposed to believe you." He launched another punch, which Shinji just dodged. "You don't understand I am the only one who can pilot it." "You've got to be kidding me, a big operation like Nerv has to use kids to pilot the robots, ha you expect me to believe that you were the only pilot, fat chance." Yet another punch. "You're right they did have another pilot." "Then why didn't you let him fight that thing, you obviously hadn't been in it before, and couldn't drive worth a damn." "The reason I had to pilot the damn thing is that the other pilot is Rei." Touji was taken aback. He stopped attacking. "Rei? She's a pilot. I always knew she was weird but this is just a little much. Why didn't you let her pilot then?"
"Do you know why Rei hasn't been to school in a while?" "No." "The reason why is because she was almost killed in one of the tests and if she'd gone out there to fight that Angel she would have died." "Why couldn't you have just let the military kill that thing."
"Conventional weapons have no effect, if I hadn't killed it, everybody would be dead, do you understand, if the Angels win Second Impact is going to look like a firecracker." "I. I'm sorry, I didn't know you had that much responsibility." "It's ok, truce?" "Alright. My name's Touji and this here is Kensuke." They both turned to look at Kensuke who was furiously scribbling notes about the conversation for analysis later. "He's a military nut." Kensuke finished. He turned to Shinji. "That's it? Any more." Shinji walked up to Kensuke and smiled. "Sure there's a lot more but if I tell you, I'd have to kill you." He raised his finger and poked the middle of Kensuke's forehead. "Bang." Shinji looked down at his watch. "Oh man I'm late, I've got to get home, Misato's going to kill me." In unison. "Who's Misato." "She's looking after me when I'm working for Nerv." He grabbed his CD books and the trio ran out of the school. Touji not looking where he was going ran right into Misato's chest. He looked up, and started babbling incoherently. Shinji caught up with him. "Hey Misato." "Hey Shinji, I've got a surprise for you." "Huh?" "Just come on. And bring your friend." As they were walking. "I'm Kensuke, mam." He looked up at her insignia and her rank indicator. "And you must be Captain Katsuragi." Misato's eyes widened. "How did you know that." "Well Shinji told us that he was staying with a person named Misato, I deduced it must be a Nerv officer, and since you're the only Captain in Nerv Japan, I figured it must be you." "But how did you. Oh never mind." Touji was still mumbling something, he was happy. "And the sexually stunned idiot over there is Touji. Give him a while, he should be ok." They rounded the gate. Misato tossed something at Shinji. He looked down at it, it was a card key with an American bald eagle on the back. "You mean?" She nodded. "Mm hm." He looked around at the street, there it was, a brand new 2014 hog, almost exactly to his specs. It had a bit more chrome than he'd asked for (actually he didn't even think of chrome but looking at it now, he was glad it had. It was beautiful.) On the gas tank was a tastefully done green dragon on a black gas tank. Underneath the dragon were the words Eva Unit 02. The license plate was blatant advertising. 'Nerv 1' it read. Shinji thought that doing a little PR work for the organization was a small price to pay for such a sweet ride. On the passenger's seat there was a black leather jacket with a big Nerv symbol on the back, and a pair of 'Terminator' style sunglasses. "Shinji what's with you?" Kensuke asked. "Oh sweet, thanks Misato she's beautiful." "Oh yeah one more thing, your access card is now also your drivers license." Shinji donned the jacket and the sunglasses. He turned around. "What'da ya think?" "Shinji what are you doing!" Kensuke shouted. "Don't worry man, it's just a perk of the job." "Where do I sign up?" asked Touji looking over the bike. Misato seeing that Shinji was totally enthralled with his new toy turned and headed for her car. She knew he was too smart to ride without a helmet, and she knew that he knew how to drive. (She checked into his background in Russia and learned that he had been taught how to drive by his teacher when he was twelve.) Unfortunately for the citizens of Tokyo 3 Misato's driving was not as impeccable as Shinji's as she tore around a corner almost killing three pedestrians and coming millimeters away from sideswiping a truck. "So Touji, Kensuke you guys want a ride?" They both looked nervously at each other. "Uh maybe some other time." "Suit yourself." Shinji inserted the key card and pushed the electric start, the bike roared to life. As always the Harley's had a distinctive rumble. In the early 21st century Harley Davidson had to work on the 'acoustics' of the exhaust system, since anti pollution laws prohibited the massive exhaust output required for a deep resonance frequency. He rumbled off into the distance looking really impressive. "I think I'll be walking for a while." Touji nodded. "Let's go visit your sister." They walked off towards the central hospital.
Shinji was having a great time, he'd never ridden an actual motorcycle before. All they had in Russia were old BMW's and some crappy Japanese crotch rockets, they gave really horrible rides, not like this. He leaned back and eased down the throttle. The quad V-engine came to life and propelled the bike at ease down the street. He was about to open her up to see the exact limits of his new bike, when he saw a lone figure wandering down the street. He had a backpack and a headband on. / Hey that looks like a Hibiki. He's probably lost. / ^ I think I'll go ask him. ^ He eased the bike up beside the wandering boy. It was Reika. "Hey Reika, want a ride?" Reika turned and looked at him. He amazingly recognized him as Shinji the pilot boy. "I don't think I should." "You're a Hibiki aren't you?"
"Uh yeah." "Are you lost?"
Reika scratched the back of his head and laughed stupidly. "Yeah I'm totally lost, I can't figure out why this GPS system never seems to work." "Hop on I'll drive you home." "How do you know where I live?" "Onboard computer navigation, I just look up your address and it guides me there." On the road neither of them noticed that the clouds were gathering. Just as they pulled up to the gate of the dojo it began to pour. Both of them transformed. Ranma had a hard time unzipping the jacket, it was custom made for Shinji and didn't fit her, and it would not give or tear, so it was a tight fit. He looked on the road and there was a small black piglet trying to pull his clothes and pack towards the house. Ranma picked up the piglet, and the other stuff. He looked down at the piglet. "Well at least we know you're a Hibiki all right. Let's go get you some hot water" Ranma was holding the now pig Reika way to close to her chest, it was too much he passed out. / Oh great just like Ryoga could never get close to a woman without passing out or blowing a blood vessel. / ^ Look at it this way at least he's not squirming. ^ They entered the house. Ranma noticed that it looked amazingly similar to the Tendo dojo except there was a lot less damage. / If this is an almost duplicate of the original, then the kitchen should be this way. / Ranma walked in the direction that the kitchen should have been. He began to smell something resembling food coming from the kitchen. He opened the door and there she was standing at the stove cooking away, his mind froze. She heard the kitchen door open and turned to look at who it was. "Oh hello Ranko, I thought you weren't going to be home for a while." She stopped talking. Her expression turned to one of anger. "Ranko Saotome, didn't I tell you never to dye your hair, and how many times have I told you to stop stuffing your bra. "Huh?" Akane stormed over to Ranma and grabbed him by the ear and hauled him over to the sink. She shoved his head under the tap and started scrubbing as hard as she could. "Damn it Ranko what did you use? I guess we'll just have to let it wear out." She reached into the shirt to remove the tissue paper from her 'daughters' bra but instead found a latex jumpsuit over all natural breasts. Her eyes widened and she jumped back. Ranma was getting furious. "What the hell was that for you uncute tomboy!" Akane not knowing what was happening pulled her new and improved mallet from behind her back. "Alright who are you?" she demanded. "You don't recognize me?" ^ Duh of course she doesn't recognize you to her your dead remember. ^ It suddenly dawned on her, and she relaxed on the mallet a bit. "Wait you're that kid pilot aren't you, the one who almost stepped on my kids, Uh Shinji isn't it?" "Sort of, it's a long story, you'd better sit down." And as an after thought. "Jeez Akane you've really let yourself slide." That was the last straw, she'd already been insulted twice by this person and that last one was the last straw. "Whoever you are NO BAKA!!" She raised the hammer and prepared to pummel the girl in front of her. Ranma saw the attack coming and decided that the best way out was to disarm her. "Katchu Tenshin Amogouriken!" In three seconds flat he'd reduced the wooden mallet to a pair of finely crafted chopsticks. Akane slowed to a dead stop and looked at the remains of her best mallet. She looked at the girl. "N. No It couldn't be, he's been dead for twenty years." Ranma nodded his head. "Ranma?" He nodded again. "You can't be alive, you're dead!" "Who says I'm not." With that Ranma ran up and jumped at Akane knocking her down and giving her a really deep kiss. Reika chose a really, really, REALLY bad time to wake up. There was his mother, on the floor, being kissed by a girl that looked almost exactly like his sister. He gave off a high pitched squeal and then keeled over. Ranma and Akane broke the kiss to look at the source of the noise. There was Reika on the floor on his back with blood gushing out of his nose like a water fountain. Akane rushed over to her son sending Ranma tumbling. She picked him up and quickly turned him over and stuffed some tissue up his nose and placed him on his stomach in the sink. She rushed to the closet and grabbed some cleaning tools and quickly cleaned up the blood before it could stain. Then she smelled something, the dinner was burning. "Oh no." "As good a cook as ever I see." Ranma had his back turned to her. WHAM. There was Akane standing behind him holding a giant mallet. "What the hell was that?" "It's my stealth mallet, you never see it coming." Ranma staggered over to the table and sat down, Akane checked on her son and placed him on a dish and carried him to the table as well. When she sat down Ranma began his story about how he'd gone to Jusenkyo, gotten killed and how he'd met up with Shinji and their current situation. "Well that's more or less it." He looked around and saw a family picture. In it was Akane sitting down with Reika and Ranko around her, Ryoga was standing in the background facing the wrong way, with a total lost look on his face. "Hey Akane, what happened to my mom?" "What do you mean?" "Well why did you agree to take care of Ranko for her?" "You mean you don't know?" "Know what?" Akane took a deep breath. "Ranma, Ranko's YOUR daughter." A dull thud.
"Ranma?"