Authors Note: This true story is a behind the scenes look at the sides of Spira that you would have never known about, or cared about. The player was too involved to really wonder about the small things, like what do the characters eat, how they hold their breath in blitzball so long, or where the hell do they go to the bathroom.

Ever since I arrived in Spira, I never was really able to think about the small things. My mind was constantly occupied with Sin, Yevon, Yuna. Everything was so different, so unreal. I should have known that nothing would have been the same...not even the food.

*Scene opens to a shot of Tidus sitting in Wakka's house, waiting for some lunch shortly after being blasted away by Sin on the Al-Bhed ship*

Wakka: You must be starving, eh? I'll cook you something real good!
Tidus: Say, Wakka, what do you guys eat?

Wakka: Oh, we eat farts. *Grins, and drops something into a frying pan, which makes a peculiar sizzle*

Tidus: What? You guys eat...farts?

Wakka: *Adds some more stuff to the skillet, causing the whole house to fill up with thick steam* Well, what do you expect us to eat, ya?

Tidus: Meat...?

Wakka: *Laughs, then stops when Tidus looks serious* Oh...you were being serious ya? Well, uh, we dun do that in Besaid...best you mind that, if you don't want any funny looks down in the Besaid Beach Restaurant, ya?

Tidus: Right...So, you eat farts?

Wakka: Exactly!

Tidus: So...how exactly do you cook farts?

Wakka: Well, you have to make sure that everything is mixed well, and you can season it if you want, but I find that most of my farts are well seasoned already! *Laughs*

Tidus: *Pales* ...Does it fill you up?

Wakka: Not at first, ya? Not very filling, but tasty little suckers. You gotta eat a lotta farts to be full, ya?

Tidus: Oh...yeah.

*Seven minutes later*

Wakka: Fart's ready! I don't mean to sound conceited, but I grill some of the best farts this side of Spira! Oooh...*Holds his nose* This one's a bit strong, better let it settle, ya?

Tidus: ...Yeah...Be right back, Wakka. *Runs out of the house, desperately looking for real food. Walks around Wakka's house, and finds a small vegetable and fruit garden. After eating several bananas and strawberries, Tidus walks back into the house*

Wakka: Where you been, ya? These farts are going cold!

Tidus: Uh...Just around your house. Wakka, did you notice you got a vegetable garden in your back?

Wakka: Of course! How else do you think I get farts so flavorful? Beans add lots of flavor, that's a given, ya, but it's the tomatoes that really get my farts going!

Tidus: Actually, I'm kind of full...Um, I'll just take a nap, I'll let you enjoy your farts in peace.

Wakka: *Stares at Tidus* Uh...okay, ya, but your loss. You have no idea what you're missing!

Tidus: Oh, I'm sure that your farts are great, I'm just tired...

Wakka: Sweet dreams, ya! Oh Yevon, these farts are gonna be great...

Author's note: How was it? Please review me, it only takes a few minutes. Well, if you guys really like this story, I'll continue it, but if not, I'll leave it to die, along with several other fics of mine.