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PATH to DARKNESS by Tyde
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Chapter Twenty One – Awakening
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His master had called him for a special meeting the following day. Just you and me the parchment had read. Nothing to worry about, just a follow up for the last few missions. Making sure you still know what it is we are fighting for. Severus had sent his reply immediately by owl confirming his attendance. There was something odd about the scripting in his master's letter, like it was written with a forced hand, as if the author was trying hard to contain something that would surely spill out onto the parchment. He Apparated out at the prearranged time to a cave in Emerson Woods, just metres from where Severus's first kill had been. He looked at the ground triumphantly expecting to see the blood of Hortense still decorating the landscape. A voice addressed him from behind 'You and Lucius' Voldemort's cold fingers wrapped themselves around his shoulders. 'You two are like the sons I never had. You respect your father and you do his bidding as is to be expected but mark my words...when a son betrays his father it is a grave matter indeed and it is not wont to show lenience in this matter...no matter how much you may love them. So I ask you this Severus, as my son, would you ever betray me?
'No father, my Lord. I could never betray you. How could one betray someone that they are indebted to, that has showed them so much? I would rather die than to double cross you.'
'And die you shall if and when you cross that line.'
'My Lord, I don't...'
'SILENCE!' he roared. 'You are human Snape and once in a while they will stray from the path they are on and dally in other pastures. When you do that my wand will find you quicker than a Niffler finds a nugget of gold. It will be quick and painless for I know this world is not fair to a young mind like yours. Too many options, too much to see.'
Sev just nodded his head numbly. He knew Voldemort was lying. Of the Death Eater deaths he'd witnessed the Dark Lord had shown no mercy and tortured them endlessly and left them shrieking and gasping in pain before finishing them off. Snape wondered if this was the same talk he'd had with Malfoy earlier that had left the blond man shaking.
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He found himself walking along a beach, not a beach in England, it was a tropical beach with real sand and gently lapping waves. The sun warmed him as he strolled along in his black robes. A slight movement on the sand caught his eye and he looked over. There lying on a bed of roses on the sand was Lily. Her auburn hair framed her face and her green eyes shone at him, he felt warmth spread through the tattoo on his arm, the tattoo he'd gotten to remind him of her. She was unpredictable like a dragon. But now Lily was smiling sweetly at him, beckoning with her eyes for him to come closer. Severus's feet sank gently in the sand with each step as he approached her. Sweat broke out on his forehead as he struggled to get any closer to her. It had seemed but a few metres but on he trudged for what seemed an eternity. Her eyes sparkled at him like emeralds as his laboured breathing reached her only a few steps away. Taking the last few steps towards her his legs were suddenly sucked down into the sand and he was soon waist deep and unable to move. His brow wrinkled and he tried to reach out to her when he noticed something happening to her. The bed of roses had turned into a mattress of thorns. The brambles twined themselves around her limbs and body and dug cruelly into her white flesh while the thick red blood flowed freely. She screamed out for Severus to help but he found himself frozen with fear, arms pinned to his sides, unable to even reach for his wand. Her voice chased itself away into the fading sunset meeting no one's ears but her own. A thorn bit into her neck right at the jugular and she cried tears of blood as the pain wracked her body. A flash of bright green light accompanied by a loud crackle announced the arrival of Lord Voldemort. Turning to Severus he smiled maliciously as he rose his wand above her rigid frame and let forth a stream of green light and the finality of death. As she lay there covered in thorns and blood Voldemort's voice bumped along with the wind. I hold the very power of death in my hands and you as my follower will share a little of my glory when we bring them all to their knees.
He woke with his sheets twisted around him and sweat trickling from his brow. The fire had gone out in the grate and the room was chilly. The words spoken by his Lord rang in his head and try as he might he couldn't shake them out. It was only a dream after all, don't be ridiculous. He gave you his word, you're one of his, you're not a simpering Mudblood or a pathetic Muggle, you're Severus Snape a pureblood and one that will help the Dark Lord conquer this earth.
'Then why is it that I feel so alone?' He demanded of the cold air around him. 'Why do I feel like everything I've ever held near and dear is falling apart? Why can't I feel the heated passion of hatred coursing through my veins? Have I become soft?' The truth was hard to face for a man that had grown up on hatred and it stung him now more than he ever thought possible.
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Voldemort's snake like eyes settled on his follower and Severus felt a familiar cold feeling settling in his stomach. He wished at that moment that he'd kept his mouth shut and not opened it at all. Damn that dream, get it into your thick skull you idiot, it wasn't real. 'Do not question my authority Snape. That would be your first and last mistake. Potter will be dealt with when I see fit. It's not his time now but it will be and soon.'
'And Lily will be spared' he allowed a brief show of hope to cross his eyes which the Dark Lord duly noted.
He smirked. 'Yes, if you keep your end of the bargain. Turn her'
'I will my Lord. She will become one of your followers – you have my word'
'Excellent. Now go...I believe you have a chess date with Delabore tonight. Make a killing won't you?' his crackle of laughter echoed down the hall as Severus closed the door behind him and headed out. Halfway down the corridor he realised he'd left his cloak slung over the back of a chair and headed back to the room. Stopping at the door with his hand poised to knock he heard Voldemort and Malfoy discussing something in earnest.
'Don't be ridiculous Lucius' Voldemort hissed 'Of course she will be eliminated. Filthy Mudblood like her deserves to join the rest of them in their graves. He says he's loyal but she keeps a part of him from me. Once Lily Potter dies Severus Snape's loyalty will be mine for the taking. Can't have his mind belonging to one place and his heart to another. She dies along with Potter and the child. Especially the child.' A low growl emanated from the dark wizard.
A wave of cold washed over Snape and seemed to settle itself in his stomach. He was going to kill her anyway. After all his words it meant nothing. Without even realising it Snape had Apparated out of Voldemort's hideout and was now standing in the middle of a snow-covered street. Odd snowflakes floated down here and there from the blackened sky, slowly covering his shivering body and he remembered he'd forgotten to get his cloak. His eyes swept around and took in the entrance to the Three Broomsticks and Zonko's. Hogsmeade of course. He'd sent himself unconsciously as close to Dumbledore as he could get. Although Voldemort never admitted it to Snape he knew Dumbledore was the only wizard alive that terrified him. When people mentioned his name he flinched. Not a grossly noticeable flinch, but a flinch none the less. Voldemort never flinched.
He walked through the menacing front gates and straight up the stairs to the great oak front door. Snape pressed the crossbar on the H of the Hogwarts crest engraved into the door and waited. Severus knew it was a mystical doorbell that went straight to Albus's quarters, he was therefore surprised to be admitted to the castle a few minutes later by a frazzled looking Minerva McGonagall. Her normally severe bun had become loose and tendrils dropped from their prison and hung about her face haphazardly.
'He's in his office, follow me' was all she said to him. He followed her through the old familiar halls and behind the statue that now would only move for 'Lollipop'. He was ushered into Dumbledore's office which now gave him a sense of security instead of an overwhelming feeling of foreboding.
'Please take a seat Professor Snape. Can Jippy get you something to drink?' A house elf stood nearby very proud to be given such an honour.
'No thanks Jippy. Sir I...' realisation dawned on him. 'Did you say Professor?'
'Yes. I assume you came all the way here to accept the position of potions master in person? It's been a fair few years but none of the current teachers have stayed very long. Something to do with exploding cauldrons. That young Bill Weasley can be quite a devil if left to his own devices' Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in the lamp light and Snape sensed he already knew why he was there.
'No sir, it's not that at all it's...' he trailed off not quite sure how to broach the subject.
'The Potter's are in grave peril? On the top of Voldemort's list no doubt?' The headmaster's look pierced him and he felt he was back in school again being reprimanded. He also noted that Albus said Voldemort and not He Who Must Not Be Named. He was the only non Death Eater he'd heard use the name but it really shouldn't have surprised him that much. It stood to reason that Dumbledore would not be afraid of Voldemort if the Dark Lord was terrified of him. The question of how Dumbledore knew this didn't even reach his lips before the old wizard spoke.
'Despite what Voldemort and the others think Severus we aren't totally cut off from the world here. Besides, I can see it in your eyes. Your eyes are filled with sorrow for Lily, although they hold none for James or the child. Did you think after all these years you could hide that from me? Voldemort is scared of me for one reason. Only I know his weakness and though I am an old man he cannot match my wit nor my cunning. When does he plan to kill them?' He said it offhand like he was commenting on the weather. Snape wondered why the wizened old wizard had instantly trusted him and not thrown him straight to the Dementors the moment he'd stepped foot in the castle.
The question was on the tip of his tongue and he knew it had to be asked 'How is it that you can trust me?'
'The true, loyal Death Eater Snape would not have set foot in my castle as his master would have instilled the fear of me in him. But he knows there is still a small part of you that he can't touch and by taking Lily away he hopes to capture the final piece. He doesn't comprehend that by doing this he's lost you. This is your second chance Severus. The only way to redeem yourself is to go back to Voldemort as if nothing has happened but you will answer to me. Myself and the Order of the Phoenix'
Snape's mouth opened in surprise and he reprimanded himself instantly. Of course it would be Dumbledore. No one else could hope to down Voldemort and the Order of the Phoenix was making good inroads to that. It was that and the fact that Dumbledore was the only wizard in Britain with a phoenix.
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It was an ordinary day. He had gone to Diagon Alley to get some ingredients – Dumbledore said it was important he start working on an antidote for the Imperio Potion he'd made for Voldemort. It would be so much easier if I could bring the instructions with me, but I can't take them out of the vault. They are under magical lock and key and trying to retrieve them would only garner unwanted interest. Blast this starting all over again, it'll take years. He was so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn't see her. Then on a chance he looked up and sitting on a chair outside Florean's with an ice cream sundae on the table in front of her was Lily Potter. It was a hot enough day for it and he'd actually been heading that way himself, unconsciously. He wanted to run up to her, fling his arms around her slender shoulders and sob into her auburn hair.
You brought me back from the dark side Lily! Dumbledore thought I was too far gone beyond the bounds of good and evil but you, you with those eyes and your smile, you brought me back from the brink. If it wasn't for you I'd still be consumed by the darkness, still wound up in Voldemort's ideals. You're everything to me.
Millions of thoughts rushed through his head but when it came down to it all he said was 'Hello'
Her eyes flickered with surprise at the sight of him 'Severus?' he noticed her grip tighten on an infant Harry squirming in her arms to get away from this stranger. Could the child know? It was impossible, nobody knew, save Dumbledore. He's only a child, he couldn't know. He knew she was dying to roll up his sleeve, to see if the mark was as clear as it had been the first time she saw it in seventh year but her hands didn't move. There were whispers about Death Eaters everywhere and Lily knew what Severus was. She hadn't known at the time what that mark was, but she sure as hell knew now. If only Dumbledore had told her, if only the members of the Order of the Phoenix knew I was on their side now, she wouldn't be so frightened, but I can't tell.
'Yeah. Thought I'd just pop by and congratulate you on Harry. Almost a year old already. Time flies doesn't it?' he was talking more to the ground than her face, his shoulders slumped, and some of his words whipped away with the wind. Suddenly without warning he Disapparated with a loud pop. Lily Potter looked at the space that had been occupied by Severus Snape only moments before. Her brow wrinkled as she remembered the way he'd spoken to her. It was just like back in first year, a time that seemed eons ago. A time when the thought of him didn't fill her with fear.
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Author's note: Review? It's that little button just below here and off to the left. Please, dude, I need it man, just another hit of review – you can't leave me hanging. I'll pay good chapters for just one hit. *sigh*