Chapter 10: Here's Azuka (finally)
The next day brought sunshine. To most it was a welcome event but to those poor souls who were about to acquire new orifices due to their conduct the night before. Shinji and Rei were among these people. Rei was up first and decided to make breakfast. Finding something not beer or curry was quite difficult so she decided to make curried rice and egg omelet.
The sun pierced Shinji's eyelids and worked it's way up his optic nerve to pound on his brain. Actually it was pounding on the current conscious occupant of the brain. Ranma. He was used to his old man waking him up with a few well placed kicks, or Akane with her mallet and then later on with a well placed kiss depriving him of all oxygen until he woke up. The sun was never a factor in his waking up. Until now.
He slowly rose up out of the soft bed and worked his way over to Shinji's dresser and got dressed for the day. He made sure to wear the latex suit just in case, because for some reason water was unnaturally attracted to him. Cold water never the hot stuff. He wondered if fate really did have it out for him, but decided that that question probably shouldn't be answered.
He opened his door and instantly the smell of curry caught his nostrils and pulled down.
/ Oh man Misato's cooking again. /
He wandered into the kitchen to see Rei at the stove trying her hardest to keep the eggs in the frying pan and failing miserably.
"Morning Rei."
"Good morning Shinji." She replied and continued on with her task.
Misato came into the room and glared at Shinji then at Rei.
"Uh good morning Misato."
"Don't good morning me. Now you know I'm not too happy with you two." She started in an amazingly cool, calm and collected voice.
"Well ahh."
"Now I didn't want to do this but since I'm responsible for you two and it won't look too good if Commander Ikari found out that you two were screwing like dogs in heat."
"But."
"Let me finish Shinji. Now, from now on there will be some new rules around here. Rule number one. There is to be no sex under this roof. If there is anybody having sex here it will be me.
Rule number two. You may associate with each other but any sexual or other type of relationship that may lead to sex will be dealt with immediately.
Rule number three. Your respective rooms are off limits to the other person, except in cases of extreme emergency like an angel attack.
Rule number four. Rei. You will not have any more staring contests with Pen Pen. He dried his eyes out and couldn't blink for two hours last night, I had to take him to the vet. Are there any questions."
"Yeah Misato would you like me too ahh relay this info onto Shinji when he wakes up or would you prefer to tear him a new asshole yourself."
Misato facefaulted. She'd completely forgotten about Ranma and didn't even bother to ask who was in charge.
Rei had an idea. She grabbed a glass of water and doused Ranma with it. He as expected changed into a she. He was just about to protest but was cut off by a pair of rather pale lips connecting with his, I mean hers. Misato just dropped her jaw. "Well the rules say that there is to be no sex between me and Shinji but Ranma here's not included."
"But." He started to protest.
"He's a she so it's all right then."
Misato was trying her best to think of an appropriate response, she wasn't against lesbianism but then again Ranma was really a guy, a fairly cute one at that from what she could find on him, but it just didn't seem right for a fourteen year old girl to be doing such things. She was just about to launch a rebuttal when her cell phone rang. Just what she needed right now. She was supposed to meet up with the United Nations heavy carrier fleet to escort Unit 02 and it's pilot into Japanese waters. Babysitting that's just what she's been doing. God did she hate being a wet nurse to a bunch of children, although as of late they had been acting anything but like children.
"So who was it?" asked Ranma now female.
"It was Nerv, guess what you two are coming with me to escort a new Evangellion from the States to Japan."
"So that means we're out of school for the day then."
"Yup you've got fifteen minutes to get ready we'll eat on the way."
Ranma ran off to the bathroom to change back and dry off. Rei dumped their 'breakfast' into Pen Pen's bowl and threw the pan into the sink just like she did at her old apartment.
He waddled over and took one look. A single tear formed in his eye as he picked up the phone and started dialing a local fish market to get himself some breakfast because there wasn't anything edible in the house.
"Goddess hotline how may I help you?"
"Wark?"
At the helicopter Kensuke and Touji were waiting for them. Misato was obviously shocked.
"How? How the hell did you guy's find out about this? It was supposed to be totally secret."
"Well I figured that since Shinji and Rei weren't at school yet so I figured that something was up. Then I checked around on the internet and found some satellite photo's of the UN fleet sailing towards Japan, I put two and two together and figured that you guys were going to meet them. Then I figured that you'd need a helicopter." began Kensuke
"But."
"Actually Shinji phoned us and told us what was going on." Offered Touji.
Misato lowered her head and put her hand on her brow. She sighed.
"Alright, alright already you can come, BUT you must stay out of trouble is that understood."
Both of them jumped to attention and saluted.
"Yes mam'!" they shouted in unison.
"Alright now get your assess into the copter we're late already."
The two extra 'unexpected' passengers took up two extra seats. Therefor somebody had to sit on somebody's lap. Rei offered to sit on Shinji's lap but Misato slapped that down. As it ended up it was Misato sitting on Touji's lap.
^ How the hell is he keeping it down? Man he's got to have some major control. ^
/ I've got no idea hell I can meditate a bit but with that sitting on my lap I don't know if I could resist. /
^ In your girl form too? Man are you sick! ^
/ Hell yah don't you know girl girl can go for hours. /
^ But I thought you were a guy? ^
/ Hey I AM a guy! /
Unbeknownst to either Shinji or Ranma or anybody other than Touji and Misato was the fact that Touji was less than perfectly fine. In fact he was about seven inches less than perfectly fine. It started about two minutes into the flight he'd tried everything to not think of the fact that Misato was sitting on his lap, so close, too damned close. She realized that maybe, just maybe it wasn't such a good idea to sit on the lap of a walking pile of hormones. But since this was the most she'd gotten in months she decided to let it slide but never to let this kid near her again.
+ Two inches more and I'd be screwed. Both literally and figuratively. +
As they approached the carrier Kensuke was so busy snapping pictures that he didn't notice the wet willie coming his way courtesy Rei. She crept closer reaching her finger out. Splort!
"Yahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" He jumped so high he hit his head on the roof of the helicopter and dropped his camera into the pacific.
Rei smiled. "These ships are top secret, can't have him taking pictures now can we." "But did you have to knock him out?" questioned Shinji.
"Of course, would you rather I have grabbed him like this." As she demonstrated her new technique on Shinji. Misato was about to break them up when the seatbelt sign lit up and she couldn't move. Shinji of course couldn't move either but with Rei's hand between his legs it was a totally different reason.
As soon as the chopper landed on the deck of the pitching carrier Kensuke regained consciousness, with a little help from Rei of course.
+ I wonder what's gotten into her? + thought Misato. She started acting weird about a day after she moved into their apartment. Something was just not right with that girl and it wasn't her hair or her eyes.
Touji stepped off the helicopter attempting to conceal the raging hard on in his jeans, and failing miserably. A sudden gust of wind combined with the fact that he was leaning over caused his hat to act like a parasol, it took off across the deck of the carrier and he took off after it. Running as fast as he could he managed to catch up to it but not before it was stepped on by a pair of ladies sneakers. He grabbed his hat and looked up. Really, Really bad timing.
A gust of wind caught the young woman's flowing skirt and lifted it up and Touji's eyes at perfect viewing position he caught the full blow of her furry pink panties staring him right in his eye.
Also having just seen what she had, he of course was in perfect position to pay for services rendered. Payment being one express mailed slap upside the head. "What was that for?"
"Payment for services rendered of course." She said walking away from the fallen Touji and slapped Kensuke. Having just barely recovered from the Reiing he received in the helicopter another blow almost put him out, but instead only put him on the deck. She was about to slap Shinji for looking when a huge wave smashed against the side of the ship sending sea spray all over the deck. This was enough to trigger the transformation that Ranma waited for for the longest time since it gave him a chance to be in control.
Azuka's eyes were bugging out and her jaw was almost on the deck. Touji and Kensuke were in not much better shape.
"He... He... She..." began Azuka.
The boys were just too stunned to talk or even make sounds similar to talking. / Oh well they know our secret now. Before they get the full story I'm going to have a little fun with this. /
^ What? Oh no. ^
"Hey Azuka, you call that built. Check this." He pulled up his shirt revealing everything. Well everything under his shirt which was the latex suit. Touji sprouted a massive nosebleed and collapsed on the deck, and Kensuke who was already on the deck just passed out.
"Ranma have you no feminine modesty." Shouted Misato.
"Not a shred love. I'm a guy remember." He said as he proceeded to saunter off in search of hot water, cocking his hips side to side with every step just to emphasize some point which was not recognized by either girls. Rei would have been laughing her ass off if she had not been walking side by side with Ranma doing the exact same thing.
"You must have been really desperate for help eh Misato?" she said with her eyes narrowed.
Misato had one hand on her brow and it covered her eyes. She was looking down in an exasperated pose.
"You could say that. Damn I'm going to send both those nutcases to the funny farm when this is all over."
"I imagine you have an explanation for this?" she asked.
Misato reached into her inside pocket of her Nerv uniform and pulled out a small book and handed it to Azuka.
"What's this?"
"The whole story, I suggest you read it before lunch or you'll be at a tactical disadvantage."
Azuka stared at Misato as she hauled away the two limp forms of Touji and Kensuke so they could be 'treated' for their injuries and or hormonal imbalance.
As she rounded a corner on her way to the infirmary she ran into some scruff. As her eyes traveled up she dreaded every centimeter of what she saw. Ryoji Kaji.
"Ah Misato long time no see."
"Not long enough now out of my way I've got wounded here."
He gracefully sidestepped Misato then whirled and followed her from behind. His favorite view.
"Couldn't stand the sight of Ranma I see. Yes that one there is a fine looking young lady."
Misato spun around just in time to see Ranma still in female form punt Kaji down the hall and onto the deck.
"I'm a GUY!!!!"
"Thanks Ranma."
"Was he bothering you?"
"Yes he was."
"Then I guess I'll have to kick his ass again for that too."
Misato bigsweated.
"You mean that you kicked him ten meters for calling you a girl?"
"You got a better reason to kick a jerk like that?"
"No, no I guess not."
"Why haven't you changed back yet?"
"Well it's because I don't have access to anything." Holding up Shinji's badge. "I don't exactly look like this handsome little devil here do I?"
^ Handsome? Ranma are you sure you're not a girl? ^
/ I'm a guy, I was just trying to compliment you OK? /
^ Never mind just change back already. ^
Later that day everyone was sitting around the mess hall table having coffee. Except of course for Touji and Kensuke. Both of them had to stay behind in the infirmary because of medical conditions. Touji had severe blood loss and Kensuke had a concussion.
"Look what you've done Rei, Kensuke's in the infirmary with a concussion what do you have to say for yourself?"
"I'm sorry Misato. I'll make it up to him later." She replied with a glint in her eye.
Waving her hands frantically she tried to get Rei to change her mind on that. "No, no a simple apology is enough."
"As you wish."
"Oi Shinji." Broke in Kaji
"What do you want?"
He leaned over and started whispering in Shinji's ear. Close enough to freighn secrecy but loud enough so that the rest of the table could hear.
"I was just wondering, is Misato still a wild woman in bed like I remember her, or has she tamed down in her old age?"
Shinji leaned back and responded loud enough so that the entire table and a few of the neighboring tables could hear.
"Ah yes, so you're the Kaji she's been screaming. Do you know it took me a whole week to get her to scream my name properly?"
The entire table facefaulted.
Misato got up and grabbed Shinji by his collar. "Why did you say that? Why? We haven't slept together."
Shinji calmly took a sip of his tea, then looked straight at her. "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."
She let go and he returned to his seat.
"Although I think she prefers Ranma."
"WHAT?!!!"
Misato wound up for a giant slap when Shinji effortlessly flipped away. Unfortunately he forgot he was on a ship, so he miscalculated his jump. He landed ontop of Azuka.
"Get off me you jerk."
"Oooo just when I was getting comfortable."
"Pervert!"
"Tomboy."
/ Oh boy /
Fifteen minutes later Rei was still watching intently as insult after insult was thrown around. Names were called left and right, they had almost come to blows a couple of times but were restrained. If she could Azuka would have malleted Shinji into the lower decks, but as it is this story prohibits anybody without a class three operators license from operating an interdimensional Shinji whacking device.
/ You do know that this is how Akane and I acted when we first met? /
^ Yeah I know. Hey we're not anything like you two! ^
/ Yeah I would have been in the deck plates by now. She must really like you. /
Back in the real world Azuka had stopped her tirade when Shinji all of a sudden went blank and stopped responding to her.
"Huh? Misato what's wrong?" asked Azuka totally perplexed.
"Oh don't worry about him. He's just having a conversation with Ranma."
"Ranma?"
"Didn't you read the book I gave you?"
"Actually no, I was waiting for the cliff's notes to come out." She said with a sheepish grin.
"No I don't like that upstart little bitch! Why the hell would you think that!" Shouted Shinji totally forgetting that he was conversing aloud instead of yelling at Ranma.
In that moment after he said those words to the next when he was lying on the floor clutching his groin Azuka looked like a younger red-haired version of Akane when she was utterly pissed off at Ranma.
The expression on her face faded and she became normal once again. She flicked her hair with one hand then bent down and grabbed the now prone Shinji and started dragging him out of the room. She looked at Rei who was having a staring contest with a bug on the table. The bug was losing.
"Hey Rei you wanna come take a look at my Eva?"
"Sure why not." She said as she got up and followed Azuka.
The bug blinked.
Kaji turned to Misato.
"Kids these days have no style. Now me on the other hand I would have gone for the more subtle approach."
He leaned forward. His advance was stopped by a quick rabbit punch to the face.
Clutching his nose.
"Misato what'd you do that for? Give us a kiss and make it all better."
Multiple array of rabbit and all out punches aimed strait at the offending person's head. As Kaji lay there unconscious on the floor Misato thought to herself.
+ Whoever came up with that addage 'If violence is not solving your problems you're just not using enough of it.' Really hit it on the head. +
She thumbed her nose Bruce Lee style then continued to drink her coffee and watch what seemed to be a blind bug stumble off the table to it's death.
In a giant hangar on another ship in the fleet the three children stood on a platform looking at the shiny new red Evangellion unit 02.
"There she is. Isn't she beautiful." Exclaimed Azuka as she swooned over 'her' Eva. "Yeah it's not bad. But I really don't see what's so special about it."
Slapping him on the back of the head. "Stupid. It's the first production model."
"Huh?"
Scowling at him. "Don't you know anything stupid!" You and Rei are only using the two prototypes. This is the first production model. It doesn't have any of the bugs that yours have." She beamed.
Shinji tuned to Rei. "Uh Rei do our Eva's look like they have any bugs in them?"
"Could be mine tried to kill me the first time I got in it, but other than that no I really don't think they've got anything major wrong with them."
Azuka was getting furious at having her baby shot to pieces.
"Well I've got a better reaction time in Unit 02 than either of you have in your pieces of junk!"
"So what? I've got a stereo system and reclining bucket seats."
"Bucket seats and Pearl Jam aren't going to get you out of an Angel attack. Don't come crying to me when you're stuck in a battle and can't get your garbage to move when you need it."
Suddenly sirens.
"Red alert, I repeat red alert. Unknown object approaching off starboard bow. Range 150 knots. Speed 15 knots and increasing. All hands to battle stations."
"Angel." Said both Rei and Shinji at the same time provoking a stunned response from Azuka. This stunned reaction quickly turned to one of excitement. She grabbed Shinji's hand and led him off down the hall.
When the rounded the corner she tossed a plug suit at Shinji.
"Get changed."
"Why?"
"I want you to see first hand why I'm the better pilot."
She rounded the corner and her clothes started flying. Shinji unable to resist tried to sneak a peak and got a shoe in the face for his troubles.
"Stop staring and get changed."
/ Get changed. She's going to need you. /
^ Huh? Why? She seems so gung ho about this why shouldn't I just let her go it alone. ^
/ She's never fought before I can tell. She's scared. /
^ Scared? ^
/ Mhm you can tell. That's why she's taking you along. /
Shinji quick changed and made it back to the Eva first.
"Rei I think you should get back to the main carrier. It's not going to be safe here anymore.
Rei nodded her agreement and ran off towards the transit boat that would take her back. But not before giving Shinji a little smack on his butt.
"What are you waiting for stupid!" Yelled Azuka who was now climbing into the entry plug and starting the preigniton sequence.
Shinji single hopped from the platform into his seat and strapped in. Azuka was fortunately looking the other way and failed to notice. If she had she would probably have frozen again.
"Starting insertion sequence. Insertion sequence complete," Azuka sounded off every check on the list sounding real professional about it. Neither Shinji nor Ranma were impressed.
The giant lumbering beast slowly rose from it's pool and began to maneuver in the 'cramped' confines of the cargo bay. Rei was already well on her way back to the flagship.
Speaking of the flagship that's where Misato was, and she wasn't happy.
+ This was supposed to be a walk in the park. Why the hell does an Angel have to show up now? +
The captain was busy with attempting to destroy the attacking Angel that he didn't realize that his weapons were having absolutely no effect on it. He also didn't notice that he wasn't wearing any pants, but that's a different story.
Thinking fast Misato did the first thing she could think of to get his attention. Problem was she learned it from Rei. She swung her arm back turned her hand outwards and formed it into a claw. She swung her arm forward at great speed so that her claw hand would catch the captain's lower parts so that she could manipulate him to her will. "Now listen here captain. I've fought these things before and conventional weapons won't work!"
"Young lady exactly what do you think you're doing?"
"Um getting your attention so that you won't waste time fighting the Angel and lose more ships."
"Ha you think that I actually want to fight something like that! I've read the briefing I know that nothing but that monster of yours will work on it. I'm just moving the fleet so that we can get in range for you to plug that overgrown extension cord into it."
The captain took a giant step back. Misato heard some snaps unsnapping and she was left there holding the captain's genitals in her hand. She flinched and recoiled back in horror. The captain merely reached down and snapped them back on.
"Got my balls blown off in the Gulf War. Had these specially made by Snap- On tools. They have a lifetime warranty if I ever break them I get them replaced for free." He laughed sadiciously then returned to his duties commanding the fleet.
Shinji and Azuka were having difficulties of their own. With two minds both of which were trying to control the Eva. Poor thing didn't know which one to listen to so it was sluggish and slow to respond. Eventually it would listen to Azuka since she was the one with the neural interface devices on her head.
"Azuka watch out!!!" yelled Shinji just as she was about to jump on what appeared to be a long rowboat with about five people in it. At the last second she changed her course and jumped on the deck of the Takabano.
"What the hell is a rowboat doing in the middle of the Pacific ocean!"
"That was the Inuvick Bay."
"Five guy's in a boat with some rocks."
"The pride of the Canadian Navy."
"And next your going to tell me that they still use diesel subs too."
"All right then. I guess I won't tell you about their airforce."
Misato decided that all she could do was watch from the bridge and try to give orders which she knew wouldn't be followed. As she gazed out of the bridge's window onto the deck she saw something that really got her panties in a bind. There on the deck of the carrier was Kaji, carrying a metal case of some sort, climbing into a harrier jumpjet. When he was seated he waved and gave her a wink just before it took off.
+ That prick! Jumping ship just like that. Damn him! +
About fifty meters away from the ship the Angel breached and on the way down swallowed the aircraft whole.
+ Good I hope he gives that stupid Angel heartburn. +
Unbeknownst to Misato the Angel had eaten a ship containing about a ton and a half of Pepsid AC about forty five minutes before so it could eat whatever it liked.
She was shocked back to reality when Unit 02 landed on the deck of the carrier causing the entire ship to lurch and the first mate to spill his double mocha latte with amaretto flavoring and whip cream.
"Aww your so mean. Psh now just look at this who's going to pay for the dry- cleaning? You are so inconsiderate."
Misato just shook her head and turned her attention to Unit 02.
"Alright Azuka get ready it's coming strait for us range 2 kilometers and closing fast ETA 1 minute. Get ready."
"I'm always ready."
Inside the entry plug however things were not going as well. Since Shinji and Ranma were basically second and third wheels and their interference was causing sluggish reaction times it was decided that they should just talk to each other and try and ignore what was going on with the Eva. Actually Azuka basically decided it by telling Shinji that if he did anything she would 'personally rip his balls off so that he could not contaminate the entire human race'. The deductive logic behind this caused Shinji to decide to talk to Ranma.
^ So Ranma, how've you been? ^
/ Same old same old. You? /
^ Never been better. So what about the weather? ^
/ We're in an entry plug, it's climate controlled in here. /
^ Maybe we should have changed then we wouldn't be having these synchro problems now. ^
/ Nah. It's cramped in here as is. What do you think Azuka would have thought with my breasts pushing against the back of her head? /
^ She would have probably freaked and kicked the shit out of you and you wouldn't have been able to do a thing since you can't hit girls and always freeze up when a girl is about to hit you. ^
/ More or less. Hey I've noticed that you don't seem to have a problem with either hitting a girl or dodging a hit. /
^ Well it is the twenty first century Ranma. I don't like doing it but if I have to it's really no problem. ^
/ Just don't hit my daughter again or I'll.. /
^ Or you'll what? Start singing that stupid 'Song that never ends.' Or the Barney theme song? ^
/ Well I was thinking about when you were asleep taking control and going to sleep with Misato but your ideas are better. /
^ Why me? ^
/ Don't ask me. Ask fate. /
^ Fate protects fools, small children and ships named Enterprise. ^
/ You're not a small child. So you fool where to? /
While they were chatting away Azuka had managed to plug herself in and retrieve her new progressive knife from it's holding place in her right shoulder. Now she was in a poor ready pose awaiting the Angel's attack.
"Alright Azuka just as you were taught." Misato said trying to reassure her.
"I know what I'm doing. I've been training all my life for this." She retorted.
One of the bridge hands came up to Misato and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Um excuse me miss. But can that thing swim?"
"An Eva swim? I really don't know."
"Well I was just thinking with all that metal on there it would sink like a stone."
"Azuka, the Eva can't swim! Don't fall in the water!"
+ Now she tells me. +
But of course it was too late. The great white Angel with the big sharp teeth jumped strait at the Eva on the deck. Azuka lunged forward and pierced the Angel's hide but the forward momentum of the 450 ton Angel was more than the Eva could withstand. Both Eva and Angel toppled off the deck into the churning seas.
+ This can't be a good thing. + Thought Misato as she watched.
"I'm not ready for this!" Screamed Azuka as she fought with the controls trying to get the Eva under control again.
"Need some help wonder girl?" Asked Shinji calmly as he leaned over Azuka.
"Who needs you anyway!" she yelled back.
"Well don't complain to me when we get eaten."
"Eat...en."
"Yeah sure it'll probably want to eat us. That's what those big sharp teeth are for."
As quick as you can say 'I'm pissing my plug suit' the neural interface devices were on Shinji's head and he was sitting on Azuka's lap.
The first thing that he needed to do was get out from underneath the Angel. A good kick to what he thought was it's stomach got it's attention.
"Ewww. Angel puke, hey is that an airplane?"
"Shut up and drive stupid. Who cares if it's an airplane or not just fight!"
Misato decided that it would be wise not to get involved.
Underwater a savage battle raged. The Eva and the Angel battled for survival. The problem for the Eva was that it had to hold onto the Angel or it would sink to the bottom. Shinji was kicking and slashing but the Angel's hide was too thick and the knife was too small.
"Great it's not working."
"What do you mean it's not working?!"
/ Shinji you've got to try the Mouko Takabisha. Hopefully that'll kill the Angel and propel us back to the ship. /
^ I'll give it a try. Oh god this feels good. ^
/ What? Oh Azuka. You know hiding a hardon in a plug suit is not easy do you? /
^ She's going to kill me isn't she. ^
/ Hell no. She's going to torture you first THEN torture you some more. Then when your on the brink of death then she'll kill you. /
^ Thanks for the reassurance. ^
/ Just here to help. /
"Here I go."
Shinji concentrated hard. Very hard. He needed to put everything into this one shot. "Don't blow it you pervert!" yelled Azuka.
"Will you shut up you tomboy and let me shoot!" he yelled back.
The angel broke free of his grasp, the Eva started to sink. It circled around and started a final charge mouth agape.
^ Ok just a little closer, a little closer... NOW!!!! ^
"Mouko Takabisha!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
A bright yellow streak of energy shot from his hands and impacted the Angel in the dead center of it's mouth. The Angel suddenly stopped moving and started to sink to the bottom.
"We did it!" Shinji yelled as he turned around and kissed Azuka full on the lips. Without warning Azuka's expression turned from one of joy to an Akaneish expression just before she was going to pound Ranma into believing her cooking was good. As you can imagine he rarely got beaten that bad. (It takes alot of beating to make somebody think Akane's cooking was good.)
Back on the ship they were using the power cable to reel the Eva back in.
"Ahh just like fishing in the North." Beamed the captain as he recalled one of his many fishing trips to the Arctic.
When Eva 02 was recovered the hesitated opening the entry plug because of certain bumps that they heard from inside. It was Misato's pestering and assurance that they were not doing what the tech's thought they were doing that made them open the plug's hatch.
Shinji jumped out and started running across the deck with Azuka in hot pursuit with a giant mallet.
"Get back here you pervert!"
"Hey I didn't do anything you violent tomboy!"
/ Just let me off here. I don't want to play again. /
Misato just went off to find a beer.
The next day brought sunshine. To most it was a welcome event but to those poor souls who were about to acquire new orifices due to their conduct the night before. Shinji and Rei were among these people. Rei was up first and decided to make breakfast. Finding something not beer or curry was quite difficult so she decided to make curried rice and egg omelet.
The sun pierced Shinji's eyelids and worked it's way up his optic nerve to pound on his brain. Actually it was pounding on the current conscious occupant of the brain. Ranma. He was used to his old man waking him up with a few well placed kicks, or Akane with her mallet and then later on with a well placed kiss depriving him of all oxygen until he woke up. The sun was never a factor in his waking up. Until now.
He slowly rose up out of the soft bed and worked his way over to Shinji's dresser and got dressed for the day. He made sure to wear the latex suit just in case, because for some reason water was unnaturally attracted to him. Cold water never the hot stuff. He wondered if fate really did have it out for him, but decided that that question probably shouldn't be answered.
He opened his door and instantly the smell of curry caught his nostrils and pulled down.
/ Oh man Misato's cooking again. /
He wandered into the kitchen to see Rei at the stove trying her hardest to keep the eggs in the frying pan and failing miserably.
"Morning Rei."
"Good morning Shinji." She replied and continued on with her task.
Misato came into the room and glared at Shinji then at Rei.
"Uh good morning Misato."
"Don't good morning me. Now you know I'm not too happy with you two." She started in an amazingly cool, calm and collected voice.
"Well ahh."
"Now I didn't want to do this but since I'm responsible for you two and it won't look too good if Commander Ikari found out that you two were screwing like dogs in heat."
"But."
"Let me finish Shinji. Now, from now on there will be some new rules around here. Rule number one. There is to be no sex under this roof. If there is anybody having sex here it will be me.
Rule number two. You may associate with each other but any sexual or other type of relationship that may lead to sex will be dealt with immediately.
Rule number three. Your respective rooms are off limits to the other person, except in cases of extreme emergency like an angel attack.
Rule number four. Rei. You will not have any more staring contests with Pen Pen. He dried his eyes out and couldn't blink for two hours last night, I had to take him to the vet. Are there any questions."
"Yeah Misato would you like me too ahh relay this info onto Shinji when he wakes up or would you prefer to tear him a new asshole yourself."
Misato facefaulted. She'd completely forgotten about Ranma and didn't even bother to ask who was in charge.
Rei had an idea. She grabbed a glass of water and doused Ranma with it. He as expected changed into a she. He was just about to protest but was cut off by a pair of rather pale lips connecting with his, I mean hers. Misato just dropped her jaw. "Well the rules say that there is to be no sex between me and Shinji but Ranma here's not included."
"But." He started to protest.
"He's a she so it's all right then."
Misato was trying her best to think of an appropriate response, she wasn't against lesbianism but then again Ranma was really a guy, a fairly cute one at that from what she could find on him, but it just didn't seem right for a fourteen year old girl to be doing such things. She was just about to launch a rebuttal when her cell phone rang. Just what she needed right now. She was supposed to meet up with the United Nations heavy carrier fleet to escort Unit 02 and it's pilot into Japanese waters. Babysitting that's just what she's been doing. God did she hate being a wet nurse to a bunch of children, although as of late they had been acting anything but like children.
"So who was it?" asked Ranma now female.
"It was Nerv, guess what you two are coming with me to escort a new Evangellion from the States to Japan."
"So that means we're out of school for the day then."
"Yup you've got fifteen minutes to get ready we'll eat on the way."
Ranma ran off to the bathroom to change back and dry off. Rei dumped their 'breakfast' into Pen Pen's bowl and threw the pan into the sink just like she did at her old apartment.
He waddled over and took one look. A single tear formed in his eye as he picked up the phone and started dialing a local fish market to get himself some breakfast because there wasn't anything edible in the house.
"Goddess hotline how may I help you?"
"Wark?"
At the helicopter Kensuke and Touji were waiting for them. Misato was obviously shocked.
"How? How the hell did you guy's find out about this? It was supposed to be totally secret."
"Well I figured that since Shinji and Rei weren't at school yet so I figured that something was up. Then I checked around on the internet and found some satellite photo's of the UN fleet sailing towards Japan, I put two and two together and figured that you guys were going to meet them. Then I figured that you'd need a helicopter." began Kensuke
"But."
"Actually Shinji phoned us and told us what was going on." Offered Touji.
Misato lowered her head and put her hand on her brow. She sighed.
"Alright, alright already you can come, BUT you must stay out of trouble is that understood."
Both of them jumped to attention and saluted.
"Yes mam'!" they shouted in unison.
"Alright now get your assess into the copter we're late already."
The two extra 'unexpected' passengers took up two extra seats. Therefor somebody had to sit on somebody's lap. Rei offered to sit on Shinji's lap but Misato slapped that down. As it ended up it was Misato sitting on Touji's lap.
^ How the hell is he keeping it down? Man he's got to have some major control. ^
/ I've got no idea hell I can meditate a bit but with that sitting on my lap I don't know if I could resist. /
^ In your girl form too? Man are you sick! ^
/ Hell yah don't you know girl girl can go for hours. /
^ But I thought you were a guy? ^
/ Hey I AM a guy! /
Unbeknownst to either Shinji or Ranma or anybody other than Touji and Misato was the fact that Touji was less than perfectly fine. In fact he was about seven inches less than perfectly fine. It started about two minutes into the flight he'd tried everything to not think of the fact that Misato was sitting on his lap, so close, too damned close. She realized that maybe, just maybe it wasn't such a good idea to sit on the lap of a walking pile of hormones. But since this was the most she'd gotten in months she decided to let it slide but never to let this kid near her again.
+ Two inches more and I'd be screwed. Both literally and figuratively. +
As they approached the carrier Kensuke was so busy snapping pictures that he didn't notice the wet willie coming his way courtesy Rei. She crept closer reaching her finger out. Splort!
"Yahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" He jumped so high he hit his head on the roof of the helicopter and dropped his camera into the pacific.
Rei smiled. "These ships are top secret, can't have him taking pictures now can we." "But did you have to knock him out?" questioned Shinji.
"Of course, would you rather I have grabbed him like this." As she demonstrated her new technique on Shinji. Misato was about to break them up when the seatbelt sign lit up and she couldn't move. Shinji of course couldn't move either but with Rei's hand between his legs it was a totally different reason.
As soon as the chopper landed on the deck of the pitching carrier Kensuke regained consciousness, with a little help from Rei of course.
+ I wonder what's gotten into her? + thought Misato. She started acting weird about a day after she moved into their apartment. Something was just not right with that girl and it wasn't her hair or her eyes.
Touji stepped off the helicopter attempting to conceal the raging hard on in his jeans, and failing miserably. A sudden gust of wind combined with the fact that he was leaning over caused his hat to act like a parasol, it took off across the deck of the carrier and he took off after it. Running as fast as he could he managed to catch up to it but not before it was stepped on by a pair of ladies sneakers. He grabbed his hat and looked up. Really, Really bad timing.
A gust of wind caught the young woman's flowing skirt and lifted it up and Touji's eyes at perfect viewing position he caught the full blow of her furry pink panties staring him right in his eye.
Also having just seen what she had, he of course was in perfect position to pay for services rendered. Payment being one express mailed slap upside the head. "What was that for?"
"Payment for services rendered of course." She said walking away from the fallen Touji and slapped Kensuke. Having just barely recovered from the Reiing he received in the helicopter another blow almost put him out, but instead only put him on the deck. She was about to slap Shinji for looking when a huge wave smashed against the side of the ship sending sea spray all over the deck. This was enough to trigger the transformation that Ranma waited for for the longest time since it gave him a chance to be in control.
Azuka's eyes were bugging out and her jaw was almost on the deck. Touji and Kensuke were in not much better shape.
"He... He... She..." began Azuka.
The boys were just too stunned to talk or even make sounds similar to talking. / Oh well they know our secret now. Before they get the full story I'm going to have a little fun with this. /
^ What? Oh no. ^
"Hey Azuka, you call that built. Check this." He pulled up his shirt revealing everything. Well everything under his shirt which was the latex suit. Touji sprouted a massive nosebleed and collapsed on the deck, and Kensuke who was already on the deck just passed out.
"Ranma have you no feminine modesty." Shouted Misato.
"Not a shred love. I'm a guy remember." He said as he proceeded to saunter off in search of hot water, cocking his hips side to side with every step just to emphasize some point which was not recognized by either girls. Rei would have been laughing her ass off if she had not been walking side by side with Ranma doing the exact same thing.
"You must have been really desperate for help eh Misato?" she said with her eyes narrowed.
Misato had one hand on her brow and it covered her eyes. She was looking down in an exasperated pose.
"You could say that. Damn I'm going to send both those nutcases to the funny farm when this is all over."
"I imagine you have an explanation for this?" she asked.
Misato reached into her inside pocket of her Nerv uniform and pulled out a small book and handed it to Azuka.
"What's this?"
"The whole story, I suggest you read it before lunch or you'll be at a tactical disadvantage."
Azuka stared at Misato as she hauled away the two limp forms of Touji and Kensuke so they could be 'treated' for their injuries and or hormonal imbalance.
As she rounded a corner on her way to the infirmary she ran into some scruff. As her eyes traveled up she dreaded every centimeter of what she saw. Ryoji Kaji.
"Ah Misato long time no see."
"Not long enough now out of my way I've got wounded here."
He gracefully sidestepped Misato then whirled and followed her from behind. His favorite view.
"Couldn't stand the sight of Ranma I see. Yes that one there is a fine looking young lady."
Misato spun around just in time to see Ranma still in female form punt Kaji down the hall and onto the deck.
"I'm a GUY!!!!"
"Thanks Ranma."
"Was he bothering you?"
"Yes he was."
"Then I guess I'll have to kick his ass again for that too."
Misato bigsweated.
"You mean that you kicked him ten meters for calling you a girl?"
"You got a better reason to kick a jerk like that?"
"No, no I guess not."
"Why haven't you changed back yet?"
"Well it's because I don't have access to anything." Holding up Shinji's badge. "I don't exactly look like this handsome little devil here do I?"
^ Handsome? Ranma are you sure you're not a girl? ^
/ I'm a guy, I was just trying to compliment you OK? /
^ Never mind just change back already. ^
Later that day everyone was sitting around the mess hall table having coffee. Except of course for Touji and Kensuke. Both of them had to stay behind in the infirmary because of medical conditions. Touji had severe blood loss and Kensuke had a concussion.
"Look what you've done Rei, Kensuke's in the infirmary with a concussion what do you have to say for yourself?"
"I'm sorry Misato. I'll make it up to him later." She replied with a glint in her eye.
Waving her hands frantically she tried to get Rei to change her mind on that. "No, no a simple apology is enough."
"As you wish."
"Oi Shinji." Broke in Kaji
"What do you want?"
He leaned over and started whispering in Shinji's ear. Close enough to freighn secrecy but loud enough so that the rest of the table could hear.
"I was just wondering, is Misato still a wild woman in bed like I remember her, or has she tamed down in her old age?"
Shinji leaned back and responded loud enough so that the entire table and a few of the neighboring tables could hear.
"Ah yes, so you're the Kaji she's been screaming. Do you know it took me a whole week to get her to scream my name properly?"
The entire table facefaulted.
Misato got up and grabbed Shinji by his collar. "Why did you say that? Why? We haven't slept together."
Shinji calmly took a sip of his tea, then looked straight at her. "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."
She let go and he returned to his seat.
"Although I think she prefers Ranma."
"WHAT?!!!"
Misato wound up for a giant slap when Shinji effortlessly flipped away. Unfortunately he forgot he was on a ship, so he miscalculated his jump. He landed ontop of Azuka.
"Get off me you jerk."
"Oooo just when I was getting comfortable."
"Pervert!"
"Tomboy."
/ Oh boy /
Fifteen minutes later Rei was still watching intently as insult after insult was thrown around. Names were called left and right, they had almost come to blows a couple of times but were restrained. If she could Azuka would have malleted Shinji into the lower decks, but as it is this story prohibits anybody without a class three operators license from operating an interdimensional Shinji whacking device.
/ You do know that this is how Akane and I acted when we first met? /
^ Yeah I know. Hey we're not anything like you two! ^
/ Yeah I would have been in the deck plates by now. She must really like you. /
Back in the real world Azuka had stopped her tirade when Shinji all of a sudden went blank and stopped responding to her.
"Huh? Misato what's wrong?" asked Azuka totally perplexed.
"Oh don't worry about him. He's just having a conversation with Ranma."
"Ranma?"
"Didn't you read the book I gave you?"
"Actually no, I was waiting for the cliff's notes to come out." She said with a sheepish grin.
"No I don't like that upstart little bitch! Why the hell would you think that!" Shouted Shinji totally forgetting that he was conversing aloud instead of yelling at Ranma.
In that moment after he said those words to the next when he was lying on the floor clutching his groin Azuka looked like a younger red-haired version of Akane when she was utterly pissed off at Ranma.
The expression on her face faded and she became normal once again. She flicked her hair with one hand then bent down and grabbed the now prone Shinji and started dragging him out of the room. She looked at Rei who was having a staring contest with a bug on the table. The bug was losing.
"Hey Rei you wanna come take a look at my Eva?"
"Sure why not." She said as she got up and followed Azuka.
The bug blinked.
Kaji turned to Misato.
"Kids these days have no style. Now me on the other hand I would have gone for the more subtle approach."
He leaned forward. His advance was stopped by a quick rabbit punch to the face.
Clutching his nose.
"Misato what'd you do that for? Give us a kiss and make it all better."
Multiple array of rabbit and all out punches aimed strait at the offending person's head. As Kaji lay there unconscious on the floor Misato thought to herself.
+ Whoever came up with that addage 'If violence is not solving your problems you're just not using enough of it.' Really hit it on the head. +
She thumbed her nose Bruce Lee style then continued to drink her coffee and watch what seemed to be a blind bug stumble off the table to it's death.
In a giant hangar on another ship in the fleet the three children stood on a platform looking at the shiny new red Evangellion unit 02.
"There she is. Isn't she beautiful." Exclaimed Azuka as she swooned over 'her' Eva. "Yeah it's not bad. But I really don't see what's so special about it."
Slapping him on the back of the head. "Stupid. It's the first production model."
"Huh?"
Scowling at him. "Don't you know anything stupid!" You and Rei are only using the two prototypes. This is the first production model. It doesn't have any of the bugs that yours have." She beamed.
Shinji tuned to Rei. "Uh Rei do our Eva's look like they have any bugs in them?"
"Could be mine tried to kill me the first time I got in it, but other than that no I really don't think they've got anything major wrong with them."
Azuka was getting furious at having her baby shot to pieces.
"Well I've got a better reaction time in Unit 02 than either of you have in your pieces of junk!"
"So what? I've got a stereo system and reclining bucket seats."
"Bucket seats and Pearl Jam aren't going to get you out of an Angel attack. Don't come crying to me when you're stuck in a battle and can't get your garbage to move when you need it."
Suddenly sirens.
"Red alert, I repeat red alert. Unknown object approaching off starboard bow. Range 150 knots. Speed 15 knots and increasing. All hands to battle stations."
"Angel." Said both Rei and Shinji at the same time provoking a stunned response from Azuka. This stunned reaction quickly turned to one of excitement. She grabbed Shinji's hand and led him off down the hall.
When the rounded the corner she tossed a plug suit at Shinji.
"Get changed."
"Why?"
"I want you to see first hand why I'm the better pilot."
She rounded the corner and her clothes started flying. Shinji unable to resist tried to sneak a peak and got a shoe in the face for his troubles.
"Stop staring and get changed."
/ Get changed. She's going to need you. /
^ Huh? Why? She seems so gung ho about this why shouldn't I just let her go it alone. ^
/ She's never fought before I can tell. She's scared. /
^ Scared? ^
/ Mhm you can tell. That's why she's taking you along. /
Shinji quick changed and made it back to the Eva first.
"Rei I think you should get back to the main carrier. It's not going to be safe here anymore.
Rei nodded her agreement and ran off towards the transit boat that would take her back. But not before giving Shinji a little smack on his butt.
"What are you waiting for stupid!" Yelled Azuka who was now climbing into the entry plug and starting the preigniton sequence.
Shinji single hopped from the platform into his seat and strapped in. Azuka was fortunately looking the other way and failed to notice. If she had she would probably have frozen again.
"Starting insertion sequence. Insertion sequence complete," Azuka sounded off every check on the list sounding real professional about it. Neither Shinji nor Ranma were impressed.
The giant lumbering beast slowly rose from it's pool and began to maneuver in the 'cramped' confines of the cargo bay. Rei was already well on her way back to the flagship.
Speaking of the flagship that's where Misato was, and she wasn't happy.
+ This was supposed to be a walk in the park. Why the hell does an Angel have to show up now? +
The captain was busy with attempting to destroy the attacking Angel that he didn't realize that his weapons were having absolutely no effect on it. He also didn't notice that he wasn't wearing any pants, but that's a different story.
Thinking fast Misato did the first thing she could think of to get his attention. Problem was she learned it from Rei. She swung her arm back turned her hand outwards and formed it into a claw. She swung her arm forward at great speed so that her claw hand would catch the captain's lower parts so that she could manipulate him to her will. "Now listen here captain. I've fought these things before and conventional weapons won't work!"
"Young lady exactly what do you think you're doing?"
"Um getting your attention so that you won't waste time fighting the Angel and lose more ships."
"Ha you think that I actually want to fight something like that! I've read the briefing I know that nothing but that monster of yours will work on it. I'm just moving the fleet so that we can get in range for you to plug that overgrown extension cord into it."
The captain took a giant step back. Misato heard some snaps unsnapping and she was left there holding the captain's genitals in her hand. She flinched and recoiled back in horror. The captain merely reached down and snapped them back on.
"Got my balls blown off in the Gulf War. Had these specially made by Snap- On tools. They have a lifetime warranty if I ever break them I get them replaced for free." He laughed sadiciously then returned to his duties commanding the fleet.
Shinji and Azuka were having difficulties of their own. With two minds both of which were trying to control the Eva. Poor thing didn't know which one to listen to so it was sluggish and slow to respond. Eventually it would listen to Azuka since she was the one with the neural interface devices on her head.
"Azuka watch out!!!" yelled Shinji just as she was about to jump on what appeared to be a long rowboat with about five people in it. At the last second she changed her course and jumped on the deck of the Takabano.
"What the hell is a rowboat doing in the middle of the Pacific ocean!"
"That was the Inuvick Bay."
"Five guy's in a boat with some rocks."
"The pride of the Canadian Navy."
"And next your going to tell me that they still use diesel subs too."
"All right then. I guess I won't tell you about their airforce."
Misato decided that all she could do was watch from the bridge and try to give orders which she knew wouldn't be followed. As she gazed out of the bridge's window onto the deck she saw something that really got her panties in a bind. There on the deck of the carrier was Kaji, carrying a metal case of some sort, climbing into a harrier jumpjet. When he was seated he waved and gave her a wink just before it took off.
+ That prick! Jumping ship just like that. Damn him! +
About fifty meters away from the ship the Angel breached and on the way down swallowed the aircraft whole.
+ Good I hope he gives that stupid Angel heartburn. +
Unbeknownst to Misato the Angel had eaten a ship containing about a ton and a half of Pepsid AC about forty five minutes before so it could eat whatever it liked.
She was shocked back to reality when Unit 02 landed on the deck of the carrier causing the entire ship to lurch and the first mate to spill his double mocha latte with amaretto flavoring and whip cream.
"Aww your so mean. Psh now just look at this who's going to pay for the dry- cleaning? You are so inconsiderate."
Misato just shook her head and turned her attention to Unit 02.
"Alright Azuka get ready it's coming strait for us range 2 kilometers and closing fast ETA 1 minute. Get ready."
"I'm always ready."
Inside the entry plug however things were not going as well. Since Shinji and Ranma were basically second and third wheels and their interference was causing sluggish reaction times it was decided that they should just talk to each other and try and ignore what was going on with the Eva. Actually Azuka basically decided it by telling Shinji that if he did anything she would 'personally rip his balls off so that he could not contaminate the entire human race'. The deductive logic behind this caused Shinji to decide to talk to Ranma.
^ So Ranma, how've you been? ^
/ Same old same old. You? /
^ Never been better. So what about the weather? ^
/ We're in an entry plug, it's climate controlled in here. /
^ Maybe we should have changed then we wouldn't be having these synchro problems now. ^
/ Nah. It's cramped in here as is. What do you think Azuka would have thought with my breasts pushing against the back of her head? /
^ She would have probably freaked and kicked the shit out of you and you wouldn't have been able to do a thing since you can't hit girls and always freeze up when a girl is about to hit you. ^
/ More or less. Hey I've noticed that you don't seem to have a problem with either hitting a girl or dodging a hit. /
^ Well it is the twenty first century Ranma. I don't like doing it but if I have to it's really no problem. ^
/ Just don't hit my daughter again or I'll.. /
^ Or you'll what? Start singing that stupid 'Song that never ends.' Or the Barney theme song? ^
/ Well I was thinking about when you were asleep taking control and going to sleep with Misato but your ideas are better. /
^ Why me? ^
/ Don't ask me. Ask fate. /
^ Fate protects fools, small children and ships named Enterprise. ^
/ You're not a small child. So you fool where to? /
While they were chatting away Azuka had managed to plug herself in and retrieve her new progressive knife from it's holding place in her right shoulder. Now she was in a poor ready pose awaiting the Angel's attack.
"Alright Azuka just as you were taught." Misato said trying to reassure her.
"I know what I'm doing. I've been training all my life for this." She retorted.
One of the bridge hands came up to Misato and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Um excuse me miss. But can that thing swim?"
"An Eva swim? I really don't know."
"Well I was just thinking with all that metal on there it would sink like a stone."
"Azuka, the Eva can't swim! Don't fall in the water!"
+ Now she tells me. +
But of course it was too late. The great white Angel with the big sharp teeth jumped strait at the Eva on the deck. Azuka lunged forward and pierced the Angel's hide but the forward momentum of the 450 ton Angel was more than the Eva could withstand. Both Eva and Angel toppled off the deck into the churning seas.
+ This can't be a good thing. + Thought Misato as she watched.
"I'm not ready for this!" Screamed Azuka as she fought with the controls trying to get the Eva under control again.
"Need some help wonder girl?" Asked Shinji calmly as he leaned over Azuka.
"Who needs you anyway!" she yelled back.
"Well don't complain to me when we get eaten."
"Eat...en."
"Yeah sure it'll probably want to eat us. That's what those big sharp teeth are for."
As quick as you can say 'I'm pissing my plug suit' the neural interface devices were on Shinji's head and he was sitting on Azuka's lap.
The first thing that he needed to do was get out from underneath the Angel. A good kick to what he thought was it's stomach got it's attention.
"Ewww. Angel puke, hey is that an airplane?"
"Shut up and drive stupid. Who cares if it's an airplane or not just fight!"
Misato decided that it would be wise not to get involved.
Underwater a savage battle raged. The Eva and the Angel battled for survival. The problem for the Eva was that it had to hold onto the Angel or it would sink to the bottom. Shinji was kicking and slashing but the Angel's hide was too thick and the knife was too small.
"Great it's not working."
"What do you mean it's not working?!"
/ Shinji you've got to try the Mouko Takabisha. Hopefully that'll kill the Angel and propel us back to the ship. /
^ I'll give it a try. Oh god this feels good. ^
/ What? Oh Azuka. You know hiding a hardon in a plug suit is not easy do you? /
^ She's going to kill me isn't she. ^
/ Hell no. She's going to torture you first THEN torture you some more. Then when your on the brink of death then she'll kill you. /
^ Thanks for the reassurance. ^
/ Just here to help. /
"Here I go."
Shinji concentrated hard. Very hard. He needed to put everything into this one shot. "Don't blow it you pervert!" yelled Azuka.
"Will you shut up you tomboy and let me shoot!" he yelled back.
The angel broke free of his grasp, the Eva started to sink. It circled around and started a final charge mouth agape.
^ Ok just a little closer, a little closer... NOW!!!! ^
"Mouko Takabisha!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
A bright yellow streak of energy shot from his hands and impacted the Angel in the dead center of it's mouth. The Angel suddenly stopped moving and started to sink to the bottom.
"We did it!" Shinji yelled as he turned around and kissed Azuka full on the lips. Without warning Azuka's expression turned from one of joy to an Akaneish expression just before she was going to pound Ranma into believing her cooking was good. As you can imagine he rarely got beaten that bad. (It takes alot of beating to make somebody think Akane's cooking was good.)
Back on the ship they were using the power cable to reel the Eva back in.
"Ahh just like fishing in the North." Beamed the captain as he recalled one of his many fishing trips to the Arctic.
When Eva 02 was recovered the hesitated opening the entry plug because of certain bumps that they heard from inside. It was Misato's pestering and assurance that they were not doing what the tech's thought they were doing that made them open the plug's hatch.
Shinji jumped out and started running across the deck with Azuka in hot pursuit with a giant mallet.
"Get back here you pervert!"
"Hey I didn't do anything you violent tomboy!"
/ Just let me off here. I don't want to play again. /
Misato just went off to find a beer.