Shinji ½
Standard warning: Graphic violence. No sexual content but it is strongly hinted at. If mommy and daddy still tuck you in at night you shouldn't be reading this.
Chapter 12 A Fate Worse Than.
Shinji looked up. There fifteen blocks in front of him was the worst possible scenario. The angel stretched arching it's back. It was a cat. A giant bloody cat. "What the hell is he doing?!" Misato yelled not expecting an answer. "Somebody tell me why he hasn't engaged. Hey Shinji what the hell's keeping you?" Shinji's nerves couldn't take much more of this. Ranma who actually went through the neko ken training was going berserk in Shinji's brain and Shinji himself wasn't far behind. It was just a matter of time before his will broke. When it did it was a sight to behold. Eva Unit 01 started running around Tokyo 3 like a chicken with it's head cut off, with it's arms raised high in the air. It was the stupidest sight anyone had ever seen. "Damn it." Cursed Misato. "Cut his power send Rei and Azuka after it." Moments later Rei and Azuka engaged the Angel. Rei let loose with a barrage of rockets, all of which were deflected off the Angel's AT field. While Rei was distracting the Angel, Azuka maneuvered her Eva behind the Angel hoping to catch it with a surprise attack inflicting as much damage with her prog knife before being forced to retreat. To her dismay the Angel had cat like senses and sensed her approach. Worse yet it also had cat like reflexes which was surprising for a fifteen story monster. The Angel spun around and lunged at Azuka slashing through her armor plating like it was butter. Azuka let out a blood curdling scream as the neural interfaces transmitted the pain the Eva was feeling to her. Azuka's sacrifice did not go unused, for as the Angel was playing scratching post on Azuka, Rei took the opportunity to grab the nearest weapon she could find, a semi truck load full of Twinkies. She powered her Eva's arm to full strength and hurled the truck straight at the Angel's exposed core. The truck disintegrated upon impact with the AT field. The plastic wrappings and sponge cake also disintegrated, but since the filling is made of an otherworldly substance it passed right through the AT field and impacted the core. On contact with the Angel the Twinkie filling began to burn and eat away the core of the Angel. It howled in pain as the toxic substance burned away at it's life force. Maya who was watching the battle in the control room stopped centimeters away from biting into her Twinkie. Upon seeing the reaction with the Angel she decided to slowly put the thing down. Distracted by the fact that it was being dissolved the Angel completely forgot about it's attackers. Azuka grabbed her progressive knife and began tearing into the Angel with all her might. With one final death shriek it was over. In the control room Aoba looked at the display. "Pattern blue has disappeared." Misato looked as though she was fit to be tied. "Get rescue crews out there and rescue the pilots." She was going to have to have a long talk with Shinji when he got back. Shinji for his part was not exactly in the best of positions. There in front of him was the largest cat he'd ever seen and here he was trapped in a 15 story tall robot with no chance of escape. It was times like this he wished he'd never agreed to help his father. No that wasn't quite right, it was times like this that he'd never heard of Jusenkyo or it's cursed pools. The rescue crews seemed to take forever when in reality it was only a few minutes between the Angel's death and him being rescued, but for somebody with a paralyzing phobia it seemed like an eternity. The technicians had to pull him out of the entry plug and wrap him in a blanket he was shivering so badly. What they didn't know was that he wasn't shivering because he was cold. It was a dark room. They had led him here after they'd rescued him. He was in trouble and he knew it. Misato was reviewing the combat footage as seen from Shinji's Eva. She had to admit it looked like a cat sort of, in a very perverse way. She slammed her palms down onto the control panel. She needed to punish him but how? He disobeyed a direct order to engage the Angel, when one was an Eva pilot fear was not an option. "I have to do something but what?" She said aloud to no one in particular. Almost out of her hearing range the solution came to her. "Hey Miya you want to go to a movie tonight?" asked Aoba. "Are you asking me out on a date?" she replied. "Uhh sort of I guess you could call it a date." "Of course I'll go. What's playing?" "Bondage fairy queens from planet nine." ".." + That's it. + Misato thought to herself. Not only did she have an answer to the problem of Shinji's punishment but the same plan also contained a plan for her revenge for the stripping thing he pulled on her. Deep in the bowels of NERV Gendo had a problem. The armor had a chink and this chink could cost them the entire project. It was something that couldn't be solved that easily. How the hell could one cure somebody that had an illness with no known cure. Sure he could send his son to a shrink. No he couldn't do that, that would be a security breech. He'd have to bring one in. This was bad. He sighed maybe it wasn't such a good thing that Ranma had been joined with his son. He leaned back in his new chair. He needed to do it to think better. His new chair helped a lot in his thinking and relaxing. The bolts gave and he ended up crashing onto his back staring up at the ceiling. "Hmm it could use a coat of paint." Shinji was still sitting in the dark room waiting. ^ Damn how long is it going to take her to come tear me a new asshole so I can go home. ^ / Well maybe you'd be better just break out and find her get it over with and then we can get something to eat. / ^ Get something to eat? You're not even in control, how can you be hungry? ^ / I'm not hungry but I'll bet you are. / ^ We wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for your stupid phobia. ^ / Hey how could I know that those stupid Angels knew about cats. I thought they just came as stupidly deformed gross monsters. / ^ Well they can apparently shape themselves as as fuzzy cats. ^ The thought of which sent a collective shiver down both their spines. Shinji's physical, Ranma's mental. Just then the door burst open and in strode Misato. She had her worst, most serious face on. She confidently strode over to him. He slumped his head over waiting for the belittlement that was to come. It didn't. He looked up trying to see some inkling in her eyes as to why she wasn't tearing him apart right now. It was then he saw it. Misato was standing in front of him in a tight black leather dominatrix outfit. In her right hand she held a cat o nine tails. Her left hand held a three cuff pair of handcuffs. ^ Where in the hell did she get those?! ^ / Apparently you haven't been snooping through her closet. It was right next to her bunny costume. / ^ And when the hell does she have a bunny costume? ^ / She is one sick puppy. / ^ No kidding I wonder what she wants. ^ / Looks like we're going to play a little game. You want me to take over? / ^ Maybe later but for now I'll handle this. ^ "Shinji." she began. "you know what you did was wrong. You disobeyed a direct order to engage the Angel, and by this inaction you put Tokyo 3 and maybe the fate of the entire planet in Jeopardy. You know you have to be punished." She lightly slapped the whip against her leg. ^ Man this is getting creepy. ^ / I had no idea she was into bondage. I just thought she was going to dock you one week's pay and maybe chew you out. / ^ So did I. I thought sodomy was illegal. ^ / You can just never tell these days. You want me to take over? / ^ No I'll do this. Hell if I let you take the whipping I'd be less of a man. Isn't that right? ^ / You are a brave one Shinji. / Without warning Shinji stood up and took off his plug suit and leaned over the bench. Misato was surprised. This was not at all in her plans, she just wanted to scare him a bit then tell him he wasn't going to get paid for the Angel battle because he didn't do anything. This might be better. She raised the whip and gave a slow smack on his exposed butt. He did something she never expected, he moaned. + He's a masochist! When the hell did that happen? + She decided that maybe she should try it a bit harder. She raised the whip and brought it down harder on his back. When it impacted Shinji's back arched in response and 9 red marks appeared on the part of the back where the tendrils had impacted. He moaned a little louder. "Alright that's it! Stop moaning or I'll just whip you harder!" "I'm sorry it just feels so good." He lied. Misato not wanting to be outdone by her charge did a succession of rapid whips. It wasn't enough to break skin but his entire back was red and still he continued to moan aloud. "That's it!" she screamed. "Be a pervert if I care." She did an abrupt turn on her heels and crashed out the door. / Does it hurt? / ^ Yes you can take over now. ^ / You've got to be kidding me. You wanted to get whipped. / ^ I can't move. ^ / And how can I help you? I can't move either. / ^ I hate you, you know that? ^
Quite a while later Shinji managed to get back to Misato's apartment, riding his bike was sheer torture. He needed to get even with her. Just how he was going to do that was yet to be determined. Right now he just wanted to get some sleep it had been a not altogether pleasant day. He opened the door to his room and there rummaging through his stuff was Azuka. She quickly spun around knowing she was caught. Instead of going on the defense she thought the best way to get her out of this mess was to go on the offensive. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing bursting in here like that! I could have been naked!" Azuka screamed. "Well first of all it's my room so why should I knock? Secondly if you had been naked I would have passed out from shear horror. Now if you don't mind I'd like to get to sleep." Shinji walked up to Azuka and tried to push her out of the way. His legs gave out. His forward momentum coupled with his legs backfiring caused him to topple forward taking Azuka with him. They both fell onto his bed his head buried deep into her cleavage. For no apparent reason his legs came back online and he jumped off of her and assumed a defensive position knowing what was going to follow. "You pervert!" she screamed. "I'll bet you've been waiting to feel me up like you do everybody else!" "Why the hell would I want to feel up a flat cheasted tomboy like you, you ugly skank!" / Wrong answer. The correct answer was 'I'm sorry Azuka please forgive me.' Then get down on your knees and start kissing her ass. / ^ Not now Ranma. ^ Azuka reached behind her and pulled out her interdimensional hammer as expected. Just then two huge men dressed in black suits with rayban sunglasses burst through the door and grabbed one of Azuka's hands. "What in the hell is this about!" Azuka screamed. "Mam you're under arrest for violating penal code 1124542 operation of an interdimensional hammer without a class 3 operators license. You'll have to come with us." One of the large men said. With that they dragged her out of the apartment. Shinji watched her go. He gave a little wave then flopped down onto his bed. He would tell Misato and they'd get her out of prison sometime. He yawned quite forcefully. But for now he was too tired to do anything. He fell asleep. The next day Ranma woke up first. He made his way to the kitchen to start breakfast. On the refrigerator he saw a note for either him, Shinji or Azuka. It basically said that they were to report to Central Dogma for more tests. It also said that they needed to pick up some beer. "Well it looks like my day's shot. Best get something to eat then wake Shinji up." After breakfast he went about the task of waking Shinji up. This was not as easily as going and kicking him awake like Akane used to do to him. He decided that the best way was to scream. He shut his eyes tight and hollered. / Hey Shinji wake up! / It didn't seem to be working so he decided to try again. / HEY SHINJI WAKE UP! / 30 seconds of silence. / Hey look at that Rei's naked! / ^ Where? Where? ^ / Man you're sick. / ^ You bastard I was having a great dream. ^ / Yeah I felt that when I woke up. Give it up man she'll never go for your twig. / ^ At least I've got one you're a girl when you're in control. ^ / Well.. / ^Well? ^ Ranma had never admitted defeat in his life so instead of admitting it now he did what he always did, change the subject. / We've got work to do. / ^ But I just got up! ^ / We have to be at HQ in two hours. / ^ Two hours! Then why the hell did you wake me up! ^ / Man I can't believe you're so dense. We still have to spring Azuka. / ^ Oh yeah. Her. ^ / She doesn't look that bad. If it weren't for her 'I'll castrate you Shinji' attitude I'd think she would be pretty hot. / ^ I thought you were going after Misato? ^ / Patience my boy. Patience. / Shinji grabbed his NERV jacket and helmet off the hanger in the hall. He rushed out the door and down the stairs. If there was one thing that Shinji really enjoyed it was driving his bike. After he was gone for about 15 minutes the door to the spare fridge opened and out waddled Pen Pen. He yawned and stretched. Not finding anybody in the apartment he waddled to the couch and jumped on.
"Next on PTV Mrs. January. Just look at those flippers guy's and that beak." droned the TV. "Waaaaaarrrrk."
Bailing Azuka out of jail wasn't the easiest thing to do. As part of the deal to get her out she had to relinquish her hammer and swear never to use her dimensional storage area ever again to store weapons. This relieved both Shinji and Ranma. That was until they heard the rest of the deal. She couldn't use the dimensional hammerspace until she received her class 3 license which she promptly applied for. That of course was to be the least of their worries. Being in a jail cell all night had really pissed her off. Since the only person there that could have prevented this was Shinji and since he was currently here she decided that her long planned revenge would finally see light. She wound up and aimed a kick straight for his groin. He easily dodged jumped over her and touched his finger to the back of her head much the same way as Ranma did to Akane on their first sparing match. "Tag you're it." He said then walked towards his bike. / You do know that you just made her angrier don't you? / ^ Well what else was I supposed to do let her sack me? ^ / Might've saved you a lot of pain in the end when she does figure out something that you can't just jump over. / ^ And what sort of thing can't I just avoid? There's nothing that she can throw at me that I can't dodge or block. ^ / You still have a lot to learn don't you. / Shinji put his helmet on and mounted his hog. He reached behind him and handed the spare helmet to Azuka who was still fuming. She got on behind him and grabbed him around the midsection. Shinji squirmed uncomfortably but started the bike and started off for NERV headquarters. Azuka smiled a devilish smile. She had a plan to put Shinji in his place once and forever. There was just one snag however if it failed she would be left vulnerable. She could be hurt. Again. + No that's impossible I'm Azuka Soryu Langely, I'm the best. I will always be the best. I won't let this punk beat me. Shinji Ikari mark my words I'll win. At any cost. + When they reached Central Dogma Misato was waiting for them. "Glad you two finally decided to show up." She said. "It was this baka's fault." Azuka retorted. "Me?!." Shinji started. "Enough this test's going to take long enough as is get to decontamination 3 asap." "But." "Go!" Misato shouted, then gave both of the young pilot's the 'glare' which told them that she meant business. Rei was waiting for them in the decontamination room. She was of course naked. "Stop staring you pervert!" yelled Azuka. Shinji snapped his eyes shut. But the image had been burned into his memory. His body couldn't help it. Rei walked over to the shower and continued her decontamination. "Azuka, Shinji you too." "What!!! Me shower with that pervert!" yelled Azuka. "Well unless you want the technicians to do it yes." "I'll keep my eye's shut." Offered Shinji. Azuka hmfd stripped naked and ran to the farthest corner of the shower and began scrubbing furiously. The faster she could get this over with the faster she would be away from Mr. Hormones. Shinji copied her but stood over by Rei. He didn't keep his promise to keep his eyes shut, she didn't seem to mind him looking at her. In fact she seemed to enjoy it. While he was at it he decided to steal a peek at Azuka. ^ So she really is a natural redhead. ^ Once they were secured in their dummy plugs the test commenced. "Synch levels rising, approaching threshold, passed threshold. We are go for natural synch." Said Maya. "Alright we are go for synch testing." Said Ritsuko. For fifteen minutes the three computers Melchoir, Casper, and Balthazar collected their data relating to the test and the pilot's reaction to various stimuli. All of a sudden every bell, whistle and alarm went off in unison. "What's wrong?!" Shouted Misato. "I don't know mam" said one of the technicians. Ritsuko was furiously typing away at several keyboards at once. "There's some corrosion in pipe 6a. It's spreading rapidly." Ristuko shouted over the klaxons. "Is it a threat?" Misato shouted back. "Not yet. I'm sending in the automated repair crew." She pressed several buttons then grabbed two joysticks that were beside her. Through the window in the command center one could see two doors open in the tank. Two metal spheres emerged from the holes in the tank and moved toward the patch of corrosion that had appeared on the wall. "Prepping laser scrubbers." "Firing laser scrubbers." The two robots suddenly emitted twin red beams that struck the wall. For several seconds the corrosion retreated, then without warning. "AT FIELD!" screamed Maya. "It's infecting the dummy bodies!" yelled a technician. "Eject the entry plugs now!" screamed Misato. "Entry plugs ejected!" Rei's dummy body suddenly twitched and squirmed as though it was in pain. The left arm ripped free of it's restraints. Suddenly a giant fist smashed into the glass of the test room. "Evacuate now!" yelled Misato. The technical staff all jumped up and rushed towards the exit. All of them except Ritsuko. "What's the matter? Let's go!" Misato shouted as she grabbed Ritsuko and dashed towards the exit just as the Eva's hand came smashing though the glass. The torrent of water from the tank came spewing into the room washing away chairs and shorting out equipment. When they reached the emergency door the auto systems had already kicked in and the door was closing. Acting on a pure adrenaline rush Misato pulled her friend in front of her and jumped through the opening milliseconds before it slammed shut. The two came crashing down on the floor, Misato on top and Ritsuko in a compromising position. The jolt of impact shook Ritsuko out of her trance. "Th. Thanks Misato." "No problem." "Could you kindof get off me now, we've got an angel to fight." "I dunno I was kinda getting used to it here." Misato slowly stood up, she winced at the pain. She didn't exactly make it out of the testing room unscathed, her leg had a fairly nasty cut on it. Ritsuko immediately rushed to her leg and examined the cut. "How bad is it?" asked Misato. "It's not too deep you'd better get to the infirmary and get it looked at. I'm afraid that it's going to scar." "That's alright, I'll just be adding to my collection." She said patting her chest. "Guard take the Major to the infirmary." "No I've got to be in the command room. We've got to fight this Angel." Misato said. Ritsuko turned to look at her friend. "I'm afraid the Eva's will be useless in fighting off this Angel, you rest let me handle it." In his office Gendo was not amused. This little situation was not in any of the simulations nor was it in any of the dead sea scrolls upon which all of their plans were based. He pressed the purple button on the control panel in front of him. Instantly Unit 01 rocketed towards the surface. It had to be protected at all costs. "Yui." The control room was a buzz with activity. The micro angel had already invaded most of the test room. Worst of all it seemed to adapt to any type of defense they had. "Unknown invader in the central computer system!" yelled Aoba. "What?!" Ritsuko yelled back. "Something's hacking Balthazar!" "Stop it!" "I'm trying, it keeps evading all the traps and false doors I'm opening for it. Hack complete. Oh my god it's going after Melchoir!" "Reverse decrypt the sequence keys, change the I/O port cipher sequence to 15 seconds." "It worked, it's slowed down." "For now." Ritsuko whispered under her breath.
"What is it?" asked Gendo. "From what we can determine it's acting like a circuit. That's how it was able to hack Balthazar so fast." Ritsuko said. "How much time do we have before it finished Melchoir and starts on Casper?" "It should have Melcoir in about 15 minutes. Casper should take it another hour and a half." "Very well then. As usual it must be stopped, fate of world, yadda, yadda, yadda, dismissed." Since he had no clue on how to stop the Angel he would just lean back in his chair and let them figure out how to destroy the Angel. He fell backwards and once again studied his ceiling. Meanwhile back in the control room Ritsuko was pulling her hair out. "No that won't work, no not that either, no, no, no." Technicians were streaming past her with ideas on how to kill the Angel. Just then Misato hobbled in on her crutches. "Misato I thought I told you to get some rest and let me handle this." "Melchoir has just been hacked." Shouted a technician from the upper control booth. "Great job Ritchan, but this is war and in any war to win you have to be ruthless." She leaned over and whispered her plan into Ritsuko's ear. "Misato! That's inhumane! Yes it is an evil alien entity that is trying to destroy earth but what you're planning on doing that's just not right!" "It's us or them. I choose us." Misato said with a determined stare. "I will have no part in this." "Don't worry. I'll save the day." In the command room Misato reached into her pocket and pulled out a key and inserted it into a key slot in the wall. On the other side of the room Maya had a similar key inserted into a similar slot in the wall. Misato nodded and both of them simultaneously turned their keys. A small portion of the wall opened revealing a wall safe. She snapped open a red plastic case and pulled out the combination to the safe. The combination was 1,2,3,4,5,6. + Who the hell thought up that stupid combination? + she thought to herself. As the safe door swung open her eyes glazed upon man's ultimate weapon to combat the angels. Yes it was a horribly destructive weapon, it had almost destroyed an entire generation. She wondered what type of Pandora's box she was going to open if it was used again. She put this thought to the back of her mind and walked over to the jery rigged dvd player that was attached to the main computer system and subsequently the three super computers Balthazar, Melcoir, and Casper. She slid the small shiny disk into the player but her finger paused as she was about to push the play button. Misato looked over towards the doorway and saw Ritsuko standing there. She gently nodded towards Misato. With a renewed sense of confidence Misato closed her eyes and pressed the play button. Every vidscreen and audio device roared to life as the ultimate weapon came online. Time stood still as everyone in the complex awaited the beginning of the end. Then it came. "I love you, you love me." The hideous purple dinosaur only known as Barney spewed his utter nonsensical drivel from every oozing pour of his cloth covered foam body. People were dropping like flies, barf bags which were handed out prior to the start of the mission were quickly filled to overflowing. Even Misato was powerless in the face of this terrible act of destruction. Once the opening theme song was done however went on auto fast forward piping 17 hours of Barney through the complex's computer systems. On the 3rd looping the red section indicating the infected areas of the computer system suddenly disappeared. A hand reached up from the floor and smacked at the stop button. It was over. "Report." Said Misato in a weak voice. Apparently nobody heard her. "Report!" She said a little louder. Aoba was the only one at his station, but just barely. "It seems to have worked mam. The Angel killed itself." "Good work." "Can I go throw up now coach." "I think you've earned it." Misato said weakly. Above in the artificial lake three small tubes were floating on the surface. We join the conversation already in progress. "But I'm naked!" yelled Azuka over the intercom system. "Well would you rather wait for them to come get us? The life support systems may give out at any time." Said Shinji. "I'm going for a swim." Said Rei. "What are you doing? That pervert will look at you!" screamed Azuka. "No I won't. As soon as I hit the water Ranma will take over in his girl body. We'll all be girls out there." "I still don't like it." Soon all three of them were splashing around in the lake. Ranma reached the edge of the lake first, then Rei, and since Azuka was the last to leave her entry plug she brought up the rear. "Hey Azuka you're a natural red head." Commented Ranma. "And apparently you're not." Azuka laughed. Ranma looked down. "The curse has a sick sense of humor."
Later on that night Shinji and Azuka were sitting around Misato's apartment. Since there was nothing on tv and nothing else to do Azuka was bored out of her mind. "Hey Shinji you bored?" she asked. "Not really." "I am." "What do you want to do then?" Silence. "Have you ever kissed a girl?" "Sure lots of times." / You lying bastard. I was the one who kissed girls. / ^ Same person thing remember. I'm just getting Azuka pissed. ^ "You have not!" she yelled back. "Have too." "Then kiss me." "What?" "I want to see how good you are." "I don't want to." "You're chicken." "Am not!" ^ Ranma I need some help. ^ / Well I saw this in an anime once. Golden boy I think. Everytime I used this on Akane she almost creamed her jeans. / ^ Here goes nothing. ^ Shinji stood up and purposefully strode over to Azuka. He leaned in close. In one quick motion he grabbed the back of her head and perfectly executed the Kirohome corkscrew kiss. The entire kiss lasted about 30 seconds. Azuka sat there stunned for about five seconds before she jumped up and ran to the bathroom. She had to wash out her mouth. and change her underwear.
Authors notes
Sorry about the time it took to get this out but I had no idea how much work I was in for once I got back to University here and as usual I got nothing done at home when I went there for Christmas.
Standard warning: Graphic violence. No sexual content but it is strongly hinted at. If mommy and daddy still tuck you in at night you shouldn't be reading this.
Chapter 12 A Fate Worse Than.
Shinji looked up. There fifteen blocks in front of him was the worst possible scenario. The angel stretched arching it's back. It was a cat. A giant bloody cat. "What the hell is he doing?!" Misato yelled not expecting an answer. "Somebody tell me why he hasn't engaged. Hey Shinji what the hell's keeping you?" Shinji's nerves couldn't take much more of this. Ranma who actually went through the neko ken training was going berserk in Shinji's brain and Shinji himself wasn't far behind. It was just a matter of time before his will broke. When it did it was a sight to behold. Eva Unit 01 started running around Tokyo 3 like a chicken with it's head cut off, with it's arms raised high in the air. It was the stupidest sight anyone had ever seen. "Damn it." Cursed Misato. "Cut his power send Rei and Azuka after it." Moments later Rei and Azuka engaged the Angel. Rei let loose with a barrage of rockets, all of which were deflected off the Angel's AT field. While Rei was distracting the Angel, Azuka maneuvered her Eva behind the Angel hoping to catch it with a surprise attack inflicting as much damage with her prog knife before being forced to retreat. To her dismay the Angel had cat like senses and sensed her approach. Worse yet it also had cat like reflexes which was surprising for a fifteen story monster. The Angel spun around and lunged at Azuka slashing through her armor plating like it was butter. Azuka let out a blood curdling scream as the neural interfaces transmitted the pain the Eva was feeling to her. Azuka's sacrifice did not go unused, for as the Angel was playing scratching post on Azuka, Rei took the opportunity to grab the nearest weapon she could find, a semi truck load full of Twinkies. She powered her Eva's arm to full strength and hurled the truck straight at the Angel's exposed core. The truck disintegrated upon impact with the AT field. The plastic wrappings and sponge cake also disintegrated, but since the filling is made of an otherworldly substance it passed right through the AT field and impacted the core. On contact with the Angel the Twinkie filling began to burn and eat away the core of the Angel. It howled in pain as the toxic substance burned away at it's life force. Maya who was watching the battle in the control room stopped centimeters away from biting into her Twinkie. Upon seeing the reaction with the Angel she decided to slowly put the thing down. Distracted by the fact that it was being dissolved the Angel completely forgot about it's attackers. Azuka grabbed her progressive knife and began tearing into the Angel with all her might. With one final death shriek it was over. In the control room Aoba looked at the display. "Pattern blue has disappeared." Misato looked as though she was fit to be tied. "Get rescue crews out there and rescue the pilots." She was going to have to have a long talk with Shinji when he got back. Shinji for his part was not exactly in the best of positions. There in front of him was the largest cat he'd ever seen and here he was trapped in a 15 story tall robot with no chance of escape. It was times like this he wished he'd never agreed to help his father. No that wasn't quite right, it was times like this that he'd never heard of Jusenkyo or it's cursed pools. The rescue crews seemed to take forever when in reality it was only a few minutes between the Angel's death and him being rescued, but for somebody with a paralyzing phobia it seemed like an eternity. The technicians had to pull him out of the entry plug and wrap him in a blanket he was shivering so badly. What they didn't know was that he wasn't shivering because he was cold. It was a dark room. They had led him here after they'd rescued him. He was in trouble and he knew it. Misato was reviewing the combat footage as seen from Shinji's Eva. She had to admit it looked like a cat sort of, in a very perverse way. She slammed her palms down onto the control panel. She needed to punish him but how? He disobeyed a direct order to engage the Angel, when one was an Eva pilot fear was not an option. "I have to do something but what?" She said aloud to no one in particular. Almost out of her hearing range the solution came to her. "Hey Miya you want to go to a movie tonight?" asked Aoba. "Are you asking me out on a date?" she replied. "Uhh sort of I guess you could call it a date." "Of course I'll go. What's playing?" "Bondage fairy queens from planet nine." ".." + That's it. + Misato thought to herself. Not only did she have an answer to the problem of Shinji's punishment but the same plan also contained a plan for her revenge for the stripping thing he pulled on her. Deep in the bowels of NERV Gendo had a problem. The armor had a chink and this chink could cost them the entire project. It was something that couldn't be solved that easily. How the hell could one cure somebody that had an illness with no known cure. Sure he could send his son to a shrink. No he couldn't do that, that would be a security breech. He'd have to bring one in. This was bad. He sighed maybe it wasn't such a good thing that Ranma had been joined with his son. He leaned back in his new chair. He needed to do it to think better. His new chair helped a lot in his thinking and relaxing. The bolts gave and he ended up crashing onto his back staring up at the ceiling. "Hmm it could use a coat of paint." Shinji was still sitting in the dark room waiting. ^ Damn how long is it going to take her to come tear me a new asshole so I can go home. ^ / Well maybe you'd be better just break out and find her get it over with and then we can get something to eat. / ^ Get something to eat? You're not even in control, how can you be hungry? ^ / I'm not hungry but I'll bet you are. / ^ We wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for your stupid phobia. ^ / Hey how could I know that those stupid Angels knew about cats. I thought they just came as stupidly deformed gross monsters. / ^ Well they can apparently shape themselves as as fuzzy cats. ^ The thought of which sent a collective shiver down both their spines. Shinji's physical, Ranma's mental. Just then the door burst open and in strode Misato. She had her worst, most serious face on. She confidently strode over to him. He slumped his head over waiting for the belittlement that was to come. It didn't. He looked up trying to see some inkling in her eyes as to why she wasn't tearing him apart right now. It was then he saw it. Misato was standing in front of him in a tight black leather dominatrix outfit. In her right hand she held a cat o nine tails. Her left hand held a three cuff pair of handcuffs. ^ Where in the hell did she get those?! ^ / Apparently you haven't been snooping through her closet. It was right next to her bunny costume. / ^ And when the hell does she have a bunny costume? ^ / She is one sick puppy. / ^ No kidding I wonder what she wants. ^ / Looks like we're going to play a little game. You want me to take over? / ^ Maybe later but for now I'll handle this. ^ "Shinji." she began. "you know what you did was wrong. You disobeyed a direct order to engage the Angel, and by this inaction you put Tokyo 3 and maybe the fate of the entire planet in Jeopardy. You know you have to be punished." She lightly slapped the whip against her leg. ^ Man this is getting creepy. ^ / I had no idea she was into bondage. I just thought she was going to dock you one week's pay and maybe chew you out. / ^ So did I. I thought sodomy was illegal. ^ / You can just never tell these days. You want me to take over? / ^ No I'll do this. Hell if I let you take the whipping I'd be less of a man. Isn't that right? ^ / You are a brave one Shinji. / Without warning Shinji stood up and took off his plug suit and leaned over the bench. Misato was surprised. This was not at all in her plans, she just wanted to scare him a bit then tell him he wasn't going to get paid for the Angel battle because he didn't do anything. This might be better. She raised the whip and gave a slow smack on his exposed butt. He did something she never expected, he moaned. + He's a masochist! When the hell did that happen? + She decided that maybe she should try it a bit harder. She raised the whip and brought it down harder on his back. When it impacted Shinji's back arched in response and 9 red marks appeared on the part of the back where the tendrils had impacted. He moaned a little louder. "Alright that's it! Stop moaning or I'll just whip you harder!" "I'm sorry it just feels so good." He lied. Misato not wanting to be outdone by her charge did a succession of rapid whips. It wasn't enough to break skin but his entire back was red and still he continued to moan aloud. "That's it!" she screamed. "Be a pervert if I care." She did an abrupt turn on her heels and crashed out the door. / Does it hurt? / ^ Yes you can take over now. ^ / You've got to be kidding me. You wanted to get whipped. / ^ I can't move. ^ / And how can I help you? I can't move either. / ^ I hate you, you know that? ^
Quite a while later Shinji managed to get back to Misato's apartment, riding his bike was sheer torture. He needed to get even with her. Just how he was going to do that was yet to be determined. Right now he just wanted to get some sleep it had been a not altogether pleasant day. He opened the door to his room and there rummaging through his stuff was Azuka. She quickly spun around knowing she was caught. Instead of going on the defense she thought the best way to get her out of this mess was to go on the offensive. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing bursting in here like that! I could have been naked!" Azuka screamed. "Well first of all it's my room so why should I knock? Secondly if you had been naked I would have passed out from shear horror. Now if you don't mind I'd like to get to sleep." Shinji walked up to Azuka and tried to push her out of the way. His legs gave out. His forward momentum coupled with his legs backfiring caused him to topple forward taking Azuka with him. They both fell onto his bed his head buried deep into her cleavage. For no apparent reason his legs came back online and he jumped off of her and assumed a defensive position knowing what was going to follow. "You pervert!" she screamed. "I'll bet you've been waiting to feel me up like you do everybody else!" "Why the hell would I want to feel up a flat cheasted tomboy like you, you ugly skank!" / Wrong answer. The correct answer was 'I'm sorry Azuka please forgive me.' Then get down on your knees and start kissing her ass. / ^ Not now Ranma. ^ Azuka reached behind her and pulled out her interdimensional hammer as expected. Just then two huge men dressed in black suits with rayban sunglasses burst through the door and grabbed one of Azuka's hands. "What in the hell is this about!" Azuka screamed. "Mam you're under arrest for violating penal code 1124542 operation of an interdimensional hammer without a class 3 operators license. You'll have to come with us." One of the large men said. With that they dragged her out of the apartment. Shinji watched her go. He gave a little wave then flopped down onto his bed. He would tell Misato and they'd get her out of prison sometime. He yawned quite forcefully. But for now he was too tired to do anything. He fell asleep. The next day Ranma woke up first. He made his way to the kitchen to start breakfast. On the refrigerator he saw a note for either him, Shinji or Azuka. It basically said that they were to report to Central Dogma for more tests. It also said that they needed to pick up some beer. "Well it looks like my day's shot. Best get something to eat then wake Shinji up." After breakfast he went about the task of waking Shinji up. This was not as easily as going and kicking him awake like Akane used to do to him. He decided that the best way was to scream. He shut his eyes tight and hollered. / Hey Shinji wake up! / It didn't seem to be working so he decided to try again. / HEY SHINJI WAKE UP! / 30 seconds of silence. / Hey look at that Rei's naked! / ^ Where? Where? ^ / Man you're sick. / ^ You bastard I was having a great dream. ^ / Yeah I felt that when I woke up. Give it up man she'll never go for your twig. / ^ At least I've got one you're a girl when you're in control. ^ / Well.. / ^Well? ^ Ranma had never admitted defeat in his life so instead of admitting it now he did what he always did, change the subject. / We've got work to do. / ^ But I just got up! ^ / We have to be at HQ in two hours. / ^ Two hours! Then why the hell did you wake me up! ^ / Man I can't believe you're so dense. We still have to spring Azuka. / ^ Oh yeah. Her. ^ / She doesn't look that bad. If it weren't for her 'I'll castrate you Shinji' attitude I'd think she would be pretty hot. / ^ I thought you were going after Misato? ^ / Patience my boy. Patience. / Shinji grabbed his NERV jacket and helmet off the hanger in the hall. He rushed out the door and down the stairs. If there was one thing that Shinji really enjoyed it was driving his bike. After he was gone for about 15 minutes the door to the spare fridge opened and out waddled Pen Pen. He yawned and stretched. Not finding anybody in the apartment he waddled to the couch and jumped on.
"Next on PTV Mrs. January. Just look at those flippers guy's and that beak." droned the TV. "Waaaaaarrrrk."
Bailing Azuka out of jail wasn't the easiest thing to do. As part of the deal to get her out she had to relinquish her hammer and swear never to use her dimensional storage area ever again to store weapons. This relieved both Shinji and Ranma. That was until they heard the rest of the deal. She couldn't use the dimensional hammerspace until she received her class 3 license which she promptly applied for. That of course was to be the least of their worries. Being in a jail cell all night had really pissed her off. Since the only person there that could have prevented this was Shinji and since he was currently here she decided that her long planned revenge would finally see light. She wound up and aimed a kick straight for his groin. He easily dodged jumped over her and touched his finger to the back of her head much the same way as Ranma did to Akane on their first sparing match. "Tag you're it." He said then walked towards his bike. / You do know that you just made her angrier don't you? / ^ Well what else was I supposed to do let her sack me? ^ / Might've saved you a lot of pain in the end when she does figure out something that you can't just jump over. / ^ And what sort of thing can't I just avoid? There's nothing that she can throw at me that I can't dodge or block. ^ / You still have a lot to learn don't you. / Shinji put his helmet on and mounted his hog. He reached behind him and handed the spare helmet to Azuka who was still fuming. She got on behind him and grabbed him around the midsection. Shinji squirmed uncomfortably but started the bike and started off for NERV headquarters. Azuka smiled a devilish smile. She had a plan to put Shinji in his place once and forever. There was just one snag however if it failed she would be left vulnerable. She could be hurt. Again. + No that's impossible I'm Azuka Soryu Langely, I'm the best. I will always be the best. I won't let this punk beat me. Shinji Ikari mark my words I'll win. At any cost. + When they reached Central Dogma Misato was waiting for them. "Glad you two finally decided to show up." She said. "It was this baka's fault." Azuka retorted. "Me?!." Shinji started. "Enough this test's going to take long enough as is get to decontamination 3 asap." "But." "Go!" Misato shouted, then gave both of the young pilot's the 'glare' which told them that she meant business. Rei was waiting for them in the decontamination room. She was of course naked. "Stop staring you pervert!" yelled Azuka. Shinji snapped his eyes shut. But the image had been burned into his memory. His body couldn't help it. Rei walked over to the shower and continued her decontamination. "Azuka, Shinji you too." "What!!! Me shower with that pervert!" yelled Azuka. "Well unless you want the technicians to do it yes." "I'll keep my eye's shut." Offered Shinji. Azuka hmfd stripped naked and ran to the farthest corner of the shower and began scrubbing furiously. The faster she could get this over with the faster she would be away from Mr. Hormones. Shinji copied her but stood over by Rei. He didn't keep his promise to keep his eyes shut, she didn't seem to mind him looking at her. In fact she seemed to enjoy it. While he was at it he decided to steal a peek at Azuka. ^ So she really is a natural redhead. ^ Once they were secured in their dummy plugs the test commenced. "Synch levels rising, approaching threshold, passed threshold. We are go for natural synch." Said Maya. "Alright we are go for synch testing." Said Ritsuko. For fifteen minutes the three computers Melchoir, Casper, and Balthazar collected their data relating to the test and the pilot's reaction to various stimuli. All of a sudden every bell, whistle and alarm went off in unison. "What's wrong?!" Shouted Misato. "I don't know mam" said one of the technicians. Ritsuko was furiously typing away at several keyboards at once. "There's some corrosion in pipe 6a. It's spreading rapidly." Ristuko shouted over the klaxons. "Is it a threat?" Misato shouted back. "Not yet. I'm sending in the automated repair crew." She pressed several buttons then grabbed two joysticks that were beside her. Through the window in the command center one could see two doors open in the tank. Two metal spheres emerged from the holes in the tank and moved toward the patch of corrosion that had appeared on the wall. "Prepping laser scrubbers." "Firing laser scrubbers." The two robots suddenly emitted twin red beams that struck the wall. For several seconds the corrosion retreated, then without warning. "AT FIELD!" screamed Maya. "It's infecting the dummy bodies!" yelled a technician. "Eject the entry plugs now!" screamed Misato. "Entry plugs ejected!" Rei's dummy body suddenly twitched and squirmed as though it was in pain. The left arm ripped free of it's restraints. Suddenly a giant fist smashed into the glass of the test room. "Evacuate now!" yelled Misato. The technical staff all jumped up and rushed towards the exit. All of them except Ritsuko. "What's the matter? Let's go!" Misato shouted as she grabbed Ritsuko and dashed towards the exit just as the Eva's hand came smashing though the glass. The torrent of water from the tank came spewing into the room washing away chairs and shorting out equipment. When they reached the emergency door the auto systems had already kicked in and the door was closing. Acting on a pure adrenaline rush Misato pulled her friend in front of her and jumped through the opening milliseconds before it slammed shut. The two came crashing down on the floor, Misato on top and Ritsuko in a compromising position. The jolt of impact shook Ritsuko out of her trance. "Th. Thanks Misato." "No problem." "Could you kindof get off me now, we've got an angel to fight." "I dunno I was kinda getting used to it here." Misato slowly stood up, she winced at the pain. She didn't exactly make it out of the testing room unscathed, her leg had a fairly nasty cut on it. Ritsuko immediately rushed to her leg and examined the cut. "How bad is it?" asked Misato. "It's not too deep you'd better get to the infirmary and get it looked at. I'm afraid that it's going to scar." "That's alright, I'll just be adding to my collection." She said patting her chest. "Guard take the Major to the infirmary." "No I've got to be in the command room. We've got to fight this Angel." Misato said. Ritsuko turned to look at her friend. "I'm afraid the Eva's will be useless in fighting off this Angel, you rest let me handle it." In his office Gendo was not amused. This little situation was not in any of the simulations nor was it in any of the dead sea scrolls upon which all of their plans were based. He pressed the purple button on the control panel in front of him. Instantly Unit 01 rocketed towards the surface. It had to be protected at all costs. "Yui." The control room was a buzz with activity. The micro angel had already invaded most of the test room. Worst of all it seemed to adapt to any type of defense they had. "Unknown invader in the central computer system!" yelled Aoba. "What?!" Ritsuko yelled back. "Something's hacking Balthazar!" "Stop it!" "I'm trying, it keeps evading all the traps and false doors I'm opening for it. Hack complete. Oh my god it's going after Melchoir!" "Reverse decrypt the sequence keys, change the I/O port cipher sequence to 15 seconds." "It worked, it's slowed down." "For now." Ritsuko whispered under her breath.
"What is it?" asked Gendo. "From what we can determine it's acting like a circuit. That's how it was able to hack Balthazar so fast." Ritsuko said. "How much time do we have before it finished Melchoir and starts on Casper?" "It should have Melcoir in about 15 minutes. Casper should take it another hour and a half." "Very well then. As usual it must be stopped, fate of world, yadda, yadda, yadda, dismissed." Since he had no clue on how to stop the Angel he would just lean back in his chair and let them figure out how to destroy the Angel. He fell backwards and once again studied his ceiling. Meanwhile back in the control room Ritsuko was pulling her hair out. "No that won't work, no not that either, no, no, no." Technicians were streaming past her with ideas on how to kill the Angel. Just then Misato hobbled in on her crutches. "Misato I thought I told you to get some rest and let me handle this." "Melchoir has just been hacked." Shouted a technician from the upper control booth. "Great job Ritchan, but this is war and in any war to win you have to be ruthless." She leaned over and whispered her plan into Ritsuko's ear. "Misato! That's inhumane! Yes it is an evil alien entity that is trying to destroy earth but what you're planning on doing that's just not right!" "It's us or them. I choose us." Misato said with a determined stare. "I will have no part in this." "Don't worry. I'll save the day." In the command room Misato reached into her pocket and pulled out a key and inserted it into a key slot in the wall. On the other side of the room Maya had a similar key inserted into a similar slot in the wall. Misato nodded and both of them simultaneously turned their keys. A small portion of the wall opened revealing a wall safe. She snapped open a red plastic case and pulled out the combination to the safe. The combination was 1,2,3,4,5,6. + Who the hell thought up that stupid combination? + she thought to herself. As the safe door swung open her eyes glazed upon man's ultimate weapon to combat the angels. Yes it was a horribly destructive weapon, it had almost destroyed an entire generation. She wondered what type of Pandora's box she was going to open if it was used again. She put this thought to the back of her mind and walked over to the jery rigged dvd player that was attached to the main computer system and subsequently the three super computers Balthazar, Melcoir, and Casper. She slid the small shiny disk into the player but her finger paused as she was about to push the play button. Misato looked over towards the doorway and saw Ritsuko standing there. She gently nodded towards Misato. With a renewed sense of confidence Misato closed her eyes and pressed the play button. Every vidscreen and audio device roared to life as the ultimate weapon came online. Time stood still as everyone in the complex awaited the beginning of the end. Then it came. "I love you, you love me." The hideous purple dinosaur only known as Barney spewed his utter nonsensical drivel from every oozing pour of his cloth covered foam body. People were dropping like flies, barf bags which were handed out prior to the start of the mission were quickly filled to overflowing. Even Misato was powerless in the face of this terrible act of destruction. Once the opening theme song was done however went on auto fast forward piping 17 hours of Barney through the complex's computer systems. On the 3rd looping the red section indicating the infected areas of the computer system suddenly disappeared. A hand reached up from the floor and smacked at the stop button. It was over. "Report." Said Misato in a weak voice. Apparently nobody heard her. "Report!" She said a little louder. Aoba was the only one at his station, but just barely. "It seems to have worked mam. The Angel killed itself." "Good work." "Can I go throw up now coach." "I think you've earned it." Misato said weakly. Above in the artificial lake three small tubes were floating on the surface. We join the conversation already in progress. "But I'm naked!" yelled Azuka over the intercom system. "Well would you rather wait for them to come get us? The life support systems may give out at any time." Said Shinji. "I'm going for a swim." Said Rei. "What are you doing? That pervert will look at you!" screamed Azuka. "No I won't. As soon as I hit the water Ranma will take over in his girl body. We'll all be girls out there." "I still don't like it." Soon all three of them were splashing around in the lake. Ranma reached the edge of the lake first, then Rei, and since Azuka was the last to leave her entry plug she brought up the rear. "Hey Azuka you're a natural red head." Commented Ranma. "And apparently you're not." Azuka laughed. Ranma looked down. "The curse has a sick sense of humor."
Later on that night Shinji and Azuka were sitting around Misato's apartment. Since there was nothing on tv and nothing else to do Azuka was bored out of her mind. "Hey Shinji you bored?" she asked. "Not really." "I am." "What do you want to do then?" Silence. "Have you ever kissed a girl?" "Sure lots of times." / You lying bastard. I was the one who kissed girls. / ^ Same person thing remember. I'm just getting Azuka pissed. ^ "You have not!" she yelled back. "Have too." "Then kiss me." "What?" "I want to see how good you are." "I don't want to." "You're chicken." "Am not!" ^ Ranma I need some help. ^ / Well I saw this in an anime once. Golden boy I think. Everytime I used this on Akane she almost creamed her jeans. / ^ Here goes nothing. ^ Shinji stood up and purposefully strode over to Azuka. He leaned in close. In one quick motion he grabbed the back of her head and perfectly executed the Kirohome corkscrew kiss. The entire kiss lasted about 30 seconds. Azuka sat there stunned for about five seconds before she jumped up and ran to the bathroom. She had to wash out her mouth. and change her underwear.
Authors notes
Sorry about the time it took to get this out but I had no idea how much work I was in for once I got back to University here and as usual I got nothing done at home when I went there for Christmas.