Standard disclaimer: You know it by now.
Shinji ½
/ / Ranma thinking ^ ^ Shinji thinking + + Anybody else thinking * * Music of some kind
Chapter 13: You've Got That Lovin' Feeling
It was a beautiful Saturday morning and Azuka had woken up early. It was time to put her little plan into action. She quietly got dressed and snuck out of her room. She deftly maneuvered around an unconscious Misato and Pen Pen and their numerous beer cans towards Shinji's room. She slid the door open and quietly stepped inside. There were posters on the walls of half naked women in immensely too tiny bikini's, a few car posters, a poster picture of Rei, another of Misato, and yet another of Pen Pen, there was even a digitally altered picture with Shinji and Ranma standing back to back in really cool poses. As she scanned the room she didn't see her poster.
"That little prick!" she whispered. It didn't matter though. She would get her revenge on him and he'd be begging her to finish him off. She was getting flustered just thinking about it. She quickly scanned the floor to avoid hitting any objects that might give her presence away. She slinked around his well used exercise equipment and came to a stop just inches from his bed. Shinji was laying on his back, the covers were kicked off sometime last night. He was sleeping in a wife beater and boxer shorts. Azuka noticed that he was starting to show some nice ripples through his undershirt. Working out, obviously had some effect on him. She raised her hand above her head, then began its decent. Trajectory was good, speed was increasing, power was at 50% and rising. "WHAP!!" Since nobody was definitely in control of the body at that moment both Shinji and Ranma felt Azuka's hand smack their collective genitals. Shinji quickly took over and was met with excruciating pain. He bit back a scream. "What the fuck do you want!" he almost yelled but his voice had mysteriously gone up a couple of octaves. "You're taking me on a date today" Azuka replied nonchalantly. "Why the hell would I take a bitch like you on a date?!" / Well for one reason she's got you by the balls and if you don't do what she wants she's just going to squeeze harder./ "Did you think I was making a request? I said you're taking me on a date today." To emphasize her point she squeezed a little harder. / Your best move right now would be to say 'Yes dear.' Then bend over and take it like a man. That's just my opinion I could be wrong. / ^ Who asked you? ^ "From your lack of a response you're either talking to Ranma or stalling for time, so let me help with that decision." Azuka stated flatly as she gave Shinji's boys a little extra squeeze. Shinji let out a little yelp. "Yes Dear! I'll do whatever you say, just please stop!" He finally yelled. "That's better. I'll just let you get dressed and we can go." She said as she turned and walked out the door giving a little skip as she went. Phase 1 went entirely as planned. That "How to get your man to do what you want for dummies" book was entirely worth the money she paid for it. Back in Shinji's room, he and Ranma were having an interesting conversation. ^ What the hell am I going to do? Azuka asked me on a date! ^ / Well she didn't exactly ask you. You've got to learn when a woman's got you by the balls like that there's nothing you can do but just grin and do whatever she wants. / ^ But why the hell would she want to go on a date with me? She hates my guts. ^ / Well I wouldn't go that far. / ^ Oh yeah look at this. ^ Shinji reached into his dresser and pulled out a card. It was for his birthday from Azuka. On the inside was written.
"Happy Birthday Shinji.
PS I hate your guts."
/ Well maybe she's changed her mind. / ^ No not her. She's up to something I just know it. ^ / So this is a trap then is it? For what reason? / ^ She hates me. Is there any other reason to embarrass me? ^ / I still think she's cute. / ^ Sick. ^ / Hey I thought the same thing about me n' Akane but we got it on eventually. / ^ Only after about a year and a half, then you only had 2 months before you died. ^ / Well no relationship is perfect. / "I guess you're right." Shinji said aloud as he finished buttoning his shirt. He put his wallet in his pants and went to the bathroom to finish prepping. He walked out of his room and saw Azuka waiting at the kitchen table poking an unconscious Pen Pen. She was dressed in a light summer dress and her hair was done up into a loose pony tail. She almost looked. Shinji just couldn't find the words for it. Attractive? No that wasn't it. Or was it.
Because he was so entranced with thinking about Azuka he wasn't thinking about what he was doing. He absentmindedly put Misato's 'special' foam on his face instead of his normal shaving cream, then he picked up the wrong tube and accidentally put some KY on his toothbrush. On his hair he put some of Pen Pen's preening gel. By the time he was finished his hair was slicked back, his face was perfectly shaved, and his teeth were squeaky clean with a friction coefficient of less than 0.001. A final dab of Misato's 'Stay Fresh' douche and he was ready to rock and roll. He took one last look in the mirror, gave himself a little smile and two thumbs up and walked out of the bathroom. Azuka was still sitting at the table poking an unconscious Pen Pen. Misato was still passed out draped over the back of the couch. With all that noise they made he thought that she would have woken up. He turned to Azuka "Well shall we." He said as he put on a mock tone of Chivalrism by bowing deeply and indicating the doorway with his other hand. She rose slowly and gave him a butt check to the top of his fool head for his troubles. He stood up straight and followed her to the doorway. ^ Why am I doing this again. ^ / Look down. No not that far down. Up up bingo. Right there. / ^ But I'm just staring at her ass? ^ / Do I have to spell it out for you? / ^ I never could spell, but I think I get your jist. ^ Wham! "Pervert!" yelled Azuka. "What the hell did you do that for?" / Well you were staring at her ass. / ^ Shut up Ranma you got me into this in the first place. ^ "Like you don't know why I did that. Hmph. Well come on then we've got lots to do today." Azuka said. She then grabbed his hand and towed him out the front door and down the stairs. "So what are we going to do today?" asked Shinji. "Well first we go shopping, then a movie, then lunch, then I thought lunch." Azuka said as she ticked off the plan on her fingers. And what a devious plan it was. She knew she couldn't beat him in a fight, on top of that he had Ranma in there which made him twice as smart and cunning as she was, the only thing she had on them was the fact that they were both men, and as such could easily fall victim to her feminine ways. She would string him along for a while then when he least expected it she would rip his heart from his chest and show it to him as he slowly died. She let out a little giggle as the image of Shinji kneeling on the ground clutching a gaping hole in his chest, his heart in her hand being slowly squeezed as he died painfully. ^ She's nuts. ^ / You just realized that? / There was one small flaw in her plan though, if she should by some fluke actually fall in love with him. She gave her head a little shake, she had promised herself that she would never allow herself to love anything again, after her parents, because love always brings pain. They arrived at the mall and Azuka quickly went into a frenzy of zipping from store to store looking at clothes, shoes, jewelry and the assortment of girlish things. Shinji on the other hand stood in the center of the mall which was designed in a circular pattern so the men could keep an eye on their women while they were shopping, without having to walk with them. One of the guys turned to Shinji. "So you're here with your girlfriend eh?" "She's not my girlfriend." "Why not. I think she's pretty hot." "Well each to his own, but if I were you I'd fuck that little bitch right here and now." "Now just cut that out." Shinji replied. "Come on hell if you won't do it I will." The guy said as he stepped out of the reserved area and started advancing on Azuka who was oblivious to the entire situation. "The hell you are!" yelled Shinji. As he ran in front of the guy and landed a quick uppercut to his lower jaw, followed by 10 side kicks to his midsection, chest and legs. This Azuka heard and she came storming over to where Shinji had just beaten up the guy. "What the hell was that?!" she yelled exasperated. "Defending your honor." Shinji grunted as he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the mall.
Their next stop was a movie. The only thing remotely good that was playing was Angel's Alive. It was about some kid that gets dragged to Tokyo, by his father who he hasn't seen in years and is forced to fight these aliens called Angels in this giant robot. They decided against it. The plot was just too stupid to be believable. They eventually settled on Titanic 2 a touching tale of two people who fell in love on the maiden voyage of the Titanic 2 before it was sabotaged by a gang of terrorists working for aliens and was blown up. Throughout the movie Azuka was hogging the popcorn. This seemed unfair to Shinji considering he was the one who had paid for that popcorn. He reached around her shoulders and snagged some popcorn, but by this time Azuka had misinterpreted his act of popcorn thievery as one of affection and had snuggled closer to him resting her head on his shoulder. ^ Crap I just wanted some popcorn, what the hell is she doing? ^ / Look where your arm is. / ^ She thought. Oh man what the hell have I gotten myself into? ^ / Enjoy the moment because it's not over yet. / ^ What do you mean it's not over yet? ^ / You still have to take her out for lunch. / ^ LUNCH oh man I totally forgot about that. ^ The movie continued on for some time until at the end the hero is tragically killed defending earth and his love from the aliens. It was heartwarming as was indicated by Azuka's single tear. Shinji quickly dabbed it off with his finger brushing Azuka's cheek. She looked at him. He looked at her. Their eyes locked. She told him how much he loved her, she did the same. Then he convulsed and died. An aging Celine Dion came onscreen and started singing some song as the credits rolled. The entire theatre stood up and began walking towards the door. The sunlight was fading as they walked out of the theatre. "Man that was a long movie." Shinji said. "Seven and a half hours" Azuka replied rotating her neck trying to get the kinks out of it. "So what's next on the line up?" Azuka looked at her watch. "Supper I guess. I'm really hungry" "Lead on." As they walked Shinji's newly found 'water' sense kicked into high gear. Of course he'd inherited this sixth sense from Ranma and it never seemed to help him. An old woman on rollerblades skated passed him and quickly splashed him. The transformation took place and Shinji changed into Ranma. "How the hell does she do that?" Ranma said as she surveyed the damage. She then turned to Azuka. "Well I guess you're date's ruined then." Her plan was going too well for something this minor to ruin it. They'd go for supper and change Shinji back there. "We're going for supper." Said Azuka determined. "But I'm not your date?" Ranma said a little confused. "We'll change you guy's back at the restaurant." Finally getting her point Ranma imitated Shinji by bowing deeply and holding his hand out to her. "Lead on then mistress." Unlike Shinji Azuka did not hit Ranma. However she did grab his hand and yank him in the direction of the restaurant district. She stopped outside a quaint little café. "This looks like a good restaurant." Azuka said as she dragged Ranma inside. "Oro?" As they stepped inside they were met at the door by a beautiful woman. Well she was around 40 years old but she definitely didn't show it. She was slightly taller than Ranma, and she was wearing a Chinese dress. But the two most striking features were her lavender purple hair that flowed almost all the way to her knees, and the bonbori that she had hanging on the wall behind her. He knew those all too well since when he was alive she treated him to many close up inspections of them. "Aya, Welcome to the Cat Café, my name is Shampoo and I will be your server tonight." Ranma noticeably froze up. Shampoo caught this and her brain went into overtime trying to remember where she'd seen this person before. She originally thought it could be Ranma in his girl form, but that was impossible since her Ranma had been long dead. She decided to ask. "Do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar." She said to Ranma. "Uh me. no I don't think I've ever seen you before." Ranma nervously replied. "Hmm well you look like my ex fiancée in his girl form." Shampoo said narrowing her eyes suspiciously at Ranma, believing him less by the second. "I'm. uh her cousin!" / Yeah that's right. / Ranma said quickly stepping behind Azuka giving her a slight squeeze on the shoulders to try to get her to go along with his plan. "Yeah this is my cousin Ranko Sourou Langley she just got into the city and I'm showing her around." Azuka said as she tactfully drove her heel into Ranma's foot to let him know that his choice of situations was well appreciated. "Oh well then, my mistake. Let me show you to your seats." Shampoo said as she walked away. Azuka leaned in close to Ranma. "You owe me one." "I know, just try to keep up the story. I can't let Shampoo know who I really am." "Whatever." Once they got to their seats Ranma noticed the person behind the grill, he obviously had eye surgery and had aged quite a bit, but it was still Mousse. Ranma gave a little smile. / So that lame ass finally beat Shampoo did he? / Shampoo laid the menus down on the table and was about to leave when Ranma saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look at it. It turned out to be a young girl approximately 16 years old. Her hair was fire red and hung down to her waist, her body was just a knockout. Almost perfect in every way. Ranma suspected something but he had to know for sure. He tugged on Shampoo's dress. "Excuse me miss." Shampoo turned. "Yes? How may I help you?" "Who is that young girl? I swear I've seen her before." Ranma said indicating the young red head. "That's my daughter, Akari Saotome her father was killed on a trip to China before she was born. A pack of wild wolves they say." "I've heard stories about an old woman that ran this place, white hair carries a staff, what ever happened to her?" "She died shortly after my fiancée." Shampoo said abruptly. "Now if you will excuse me I have work to do." She said as she walked away. Ranma leaned back in his chair and put his hand on his head. "Man just how many kids do I have?" he said. "For a dead guy you're pretty frisky." Azuka quipped. "You have no idea. Hell I thought being dead I would get to relax, but no wherever I go the circus seems to follow me. It's almost like my life is one big story and everybody is watching." After they ordered and had eaten Mousse came over to talk to them, to get feedback like every good chef should. "And how were your meals?" he asked. "Great!" Azuka offered. "Pretty good." Ranma said. He wouldn't say that he'd eaten better when Cologne was still alive. Mousse looked at Azuka. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" She looked at him. "No I've never met you before." He looked closer. "You're Azuka Sourou aren't you?" "Yeah how do you know me?" Azuka said. "Well I don't know you personally but I used to know your parents." Azuka tensed up. "It's really a shame that they died like that." This peaked Ranma's intrest. "How did they die?" he asked. "They hung themselves, and I walked in and found them." Azuka said trying to keep up her mask but her resolve was failing. "I'm sorry to have dredged up such a horrible thing." Said Mousse now realizing his blunder. "It's been nice seeing you." Quickly changing the subject. "Could I get you anything else?" "Some hot tea to go." Ranma said. Mousse shuffled off to fulfil the request. / You're probably going to want a word with Azuka after this I'd imagine. / ^ Yeah she's got some explaining to do. ^ Mousse came back with the tea and the cheque. Azuka gave Ranma an evil glance that more or less told him that he should pay the bill. He paid it and left a generous tip. It was the only type of child support he was ever going to pay. He just wished that he was there for the conception. They left the restaurant and immediately ducked into a nearby ally where Ranma dumped the hot tea on his head. Shinji shook his head lightly to get rid of some of the extra water, then he looked at Azuka. "So the truth finally comes out eh?" "I have no idea what you're talking about!" "Don't. Just don't try to lie your way out of this one. I know now why you act like a bitch all the time." "I am not a bitch!" Azuka screamed defensively. "Yes you are and you know why too. It's because your parents died when you were so young. You thought that if anybody got close to you and you started to love that person they would leave you and you would get hurt again." He leaned up against the wall. "Am I right?" Azuka was almost in tears. "How the hell would you know anything about it? How the hell could you know?" she sobbed. "You just don't get it do you? My mother died when I was young too and shortly after that my father abandoned me, you're not the only one who's had a shitty time of it. Turning off your emotions doesn't help any so get used to it!" That did it. Azuka broke down into tears. / Man look what you've done now. / ^ Me you were feeding me all that crap to say to her! ^ / But you said it. Oh just great she's on her knees now. Better turn on the sympathy and calm her down. / Shinji let out a little sigh and walked over to Azuka. He helped her to her feet. She was still sobbing. He put her head on his shoulder, and started to pat her back. "Shh shh it's all right." He said. They walked home in silence. When they reached the apartment they both entered in silence. A quick scan of the apartment didn't reveal anybody else was home. Azuka turned to Shinji. "Shinji." she said "I'm sorry." He went to pull her into another hug but instead she pulled him into a deep kiss. He could feel her tongue swabbing his tonsils, he reciprocated and instigated. Suddenly the lights came on and 15 people jumped out of nowhere. "Surprise!" they all yelled. Shinji and Azuka broke their kiss and looked horrified at the crowd. There was Misato, Pen Pen, Maya, Aoba, Rei, Touji, and several others. There was dead silence after they saw what Shinji and Azuka had been doing. Misato who was already tanked started yelling in the back. "Kiss her again. Ride her all night long. Woo hooo." Thud. Not knowing what to do Shinji grabbed Azuka into his arms jumped over the now unconscious Misato and did the first thing he thought of. He jumped out the window and started running as fast as he could. Azuka reached up for another kiss which Shinji happily gave her. Unfortunately since he was kissing Azuka he failed to notice where he was blindly running to. The plume of water could be seen for blocks. The slap could be heard for miles. "YOU PERVERT!" Azuka screamed as she stormed off soaking wet towards the apartment. Ranma just sat there in one of the numerous craters caused by the battles which had filled with water. He leaned back and started floating on the water's surface / Some night huh? / ^ You can say that again. ^ / I wonder what they're going to say when we get back to the apartment they all saw you kissing Azuka. / ^ I don't know and I don't care. ^ / You actually like her now don't you? / ^ I do not! ^ / You do too. I can read your mind like a book. / ^ Well what if I do? Where do I go from here? ^ / Well for one thing a proper date would be in order. / Ranma let out a scream. ^ What the hell was that for? ^ / There's a carp swimming around in my pants! / ^ You're hopeless. ^
Back at the apartment everybody had left except Misato and Pen Pen. Misato was passed out draped over the couch the wrong way with her face pointing towards the ceiling. Pen Pen had passed out face first into the sink. Everything was quiet. Everything was calm.
You just know something's going to happen don't you?
Authors notes:
Damn that was hard. Exams are coming up soon and I thought I should just crank out one chapter before that happens. I'll possibly get another one done after I move to my new apartment or maybe after exams depending on how I feel.
If you want to read the rest of the series I've moved it to
http://members.xoom.com/nealharris
Shinji ½
/ / Ranma thinking ^ ^ Shinji thinking + + Anybody else thinking * * Music of some kind
Chapter 13: You've Got That Lovin' Feeling
It was a beautiful Saturday morning and Azuka had woken up early. It was time to put her little plan into action. She quietly got dressed and snuck out of her room. She deftly maneuvered around an unconscious Misato and Pen Pen and their numerous beer cans towards Shinji's room. She slid the door open and quietly stepped inside. There were posters on the walls of half naked women in immensely too tiny bikini's, a few car posters, a poster picture of Rei, another of Misato, and yet another of Pen Pen, there was even a digitally altered picture with Shinji and Ranma standing back to back in really cool poses. As she scanned the room she didn't see her poster.
"That little prick!" she whispered. It didn't matter though. She would get her revenge on him and he'd be begging her to finish him off. She was getting flustered just thinking about it. She quickly scanned the floor to avoid hitting any objects that might give her presence away. She slinked around his well used exercise equipment and came to a stop just inches from his bed. Shinji was laying on his back, the covers were kicked off sometime last night. He was sleeping in a wife beater and boxer shorts. Azuka noticed that he was starting to show some nice ripples through his undershirt. Working out, obviously had some effect on him. She raised her hand above her head, then began its decent. Trajectory was good, speed was increasing, power was at 50% and rising. "WHAP!!" Since nobody was definitely in control of the body at that moment both Shinji and Ranma felt Azuka's hand smack their collective genitals. Shinji quickly took over and was met with excruciating pain. He bit back a scream. "What the fuck do you want!" he almost yelled but his voice had mysteriously gone up a couple of octaves. "You're taking me on a date today" Azuka replied nonchalantly. "Why the hell would I take a bitch like you on a date?!" / Well for one reason she's got you by the balls and if you don't do what she wants she's just going to squeeze harder./ "Did you think I was making a request? I said you're taking me on a date today." To emphasize her point she squeezed a little harder. / Your best move right now would be to say 'Yes dear.' Then bend over and take it like a man. That's just my opinion I could be wrong. / ^ Who asked you? ^ "From your lack of a response you're either talking to Ranma or stalling for time, so let me help with that decision." Azuka stated flatly as she gave Shinji's boys a little extra squeeze. Shinji let out a little yelp. "Yes Dear! I'll do whatever you say, just please stop!" He finally yelled. "That's better. I'll just let you get dressed and we can go." She said as she turned and walked out the door giving a little skip as she went. Phase 1 went entirely as planned. That "How to get your man to do what you want for dummies" book was entirely worth the money she paid for it. Back in Shinji's room, he and Ranma were having an interesting conversation. ^ What the hell am I going to do? Azuka asked me on a date! ^ / Well she didn't exactly ask you. You've got to learn when a woman's got you by the balls like that there's nothing you can do but just grin and do whatever she wants. / ^ But why the hell would she want to go on a date with me? She hates my guts. ^ / Well I wouldn't go that far. / ^ Oh yeah look at this. ^ Shinji reached into his dresser and pulled out a card. It was for his birthday from Azuka. On the inside was written.
"Happy Birthday Shinji.
PS I hate your guts."
/ Well maybe she's changed her mind. / ^ No not her. She's up to something I just know it. ^ / So this is a trap then is it? For what reason? / ^ She hates me. Is there any other reason to embarrass me? ^ / I still think she's cute. / ^ Sick. ^ / Hey I thought the same thing about me n' Akane but we got it on eventually. / ^ Only after about a year and a half, then you only had 2 months before you died. ^ / Well no relationship is perfect. / "I guess you're right." Shinji said aloud as he finished buttoning his shirt. He put his wallet in his pants and went to the bathroom to finish prepping. He walked out of his room and saw Azuka waiting at the kitchen table poking an unconscious Pen Pen. She was dressed in a light summer dress and her hair was done up into a loose pony tail. She almost looked. Shinji just couldn't find the words for it. Attractive? No that wasn't it. Or was it.
Because he was so entranced with thinking about Azuka he wasn't thinking about what he was doing. He absentmindedly put Misato's 'special' foam on his face instead of his normal shaving cream, then he picked up the wrong tube and accidentally put some KY on his toothbrush. On his hair he put some of Pen Pen's preening gel. By the time he was finished his hair was slicked back, his face was perfectly shaved, and his teeth were squeaky clean with a friction coefficient of less than 0.001. A final dab of Misato's 'Stay Fresh' douche and he was ready to rock and roll. He took one last look in the mirror, gave himself a little smile and two thumbs up and walked out of the bathroom. Azuka was still sitting at the table poking an unconscious Pen Pen. Misato was still passed out draped over the back of the couch. With all that noise they made he thought that she would have woken up. He turned to Azuka "Well shall we." He said as he put on a mock tone of Chivalrism by bowing deeply and indicating the doorway with his other hand. She rose slowly and gave him a butt check to the top of his fool head for his troubles. He stood up straight and followed her to the doorway. ^ Why am I doing this again. ^ / Look down. No not that far down. Up up bingo. Right there. / ^ But I'm just staring at her ass? ^ / Do I have to spell it out for you? / ^ I never could spell, but I think I get your jist. ^ Wham! "Pervert!" yelled Azuka. "What the hell did you do that for?" / Well you were staring at her ass. / ^ Shut up Ranma you got me into this in the first place. ^ "Like you don't know why I did that. Hmph. Well come on then we've got lots to do today." Azuka said. She then grabbed his hand and towed him out the front door and down the stairs. "So what are we going to do today?" asked Shinji. "Well first we go shopping, then a movie, then lunch, then I thought lunch." Azuka said as she ticked off the plan on her fingers. And what a devious plan it was. She knew she couldn't beat him in a fight, on top of that he had Ranma in there which made him twice as smart and cunning as she was, the only thing she had on them was the fact that they were both men, and as such could easily fall victim to her feminine ways. She would string him along for a while then when he least expected it she would rip his heart from his chest and show it to him as he slowly died. She let out a little giggle as the image of Shinji kneeling on the ground clutching a gaping hole in his chest, his heart in her hand being slowly squeezed as he died painfully. ^ She's nuts. ^ / You just realized that? / There was one small flaw in her plan though, if she should by some fluke actually fall in love with him. She gave her head a little shake, she had promised herself that she would never allow herself to love anything again, after her parents, because love always brings pain. They arrived at the mall and Azuka quickly went into a frenzy of zipping from store to store looking at clothes, shoes, jewelry and the assortment of girlish things. Shinji on the other hand stood in the center of the mall which was designed in a circular pattern so the men could keep an eye on their women while they were shopping, without having to walk with them. One of the guys turned to Shinji. "So you're here with your girlfriend eh?" "She's not my girlfriend." "Why not. I think she's pretty hot." "Well each to his own, but if I were you I'd fuck that little bitch right here and now." "Now just cut that out." Shinji replied. "Come on hell if you won't do it I will." The guy said as he stepped out of the reserved area and started advancing on Azuka who was oblivious to the entire situation. "The hell you are!" yelled Shinji. As he ran in front of the guy and landed a quick uppercut to his lower jaw, followed by 10 side kicks to his midsection, chest and legs. This Azuka heard and she came storming over to where Shinji had just beaten up the guy. "What the hell was that?!" she yelled exasperated. "Defending your honor." Shinji grunted as he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the mall.
Their next stop was a movie. The only thing remotely good that was playing was Angel's Alive. It was about some kid that gets dragged to Tokyo, by his father who he hasn't seen in years and is forced to fight these aliens called Angels in this giant robot. They decided against it. The plot was just too stupid to be believable. They eventually settled on Titanic 2 a touching tale of two people who fell in love on the maiden voyage of the Titanic 2 before it was sabotaged by a gang of terrorists working for aliens and was blown up. Throughout the movie Azuka was hogging the popcorn. This seemed unfair to Shinji considering he was the one who had paid for that popcorn. He reached around her shoulders and snagged some popcorn, but by this time Azuka had misinterpreted his act of popcorn thievery as one of affection and had snuggled closer to him resting her head on his shoulder. ^ Crap I just wanted some popcorn, what the hell is she doing? ^ / Look where your arm is. / ^ She thought. Oh man what the hell have I gotten myself into? ^ / Enjoy the moment because it's not over yet. / ^ What do you mean it's not over yet? ^ / You still have to take her out for lunch. / ^ LUNCH oh man I totally forgot about that. ^ The movie continued on for some time until at the end the hero is tragically killed defending earth and his love from the aliens. It was heartwarming as was indicated by Azuka's single tear. Shinji quickly dabbed it off with his finger brushing Azuka's cheek. She looked at him. He looked at her. Their eyes locked. She told him how much he loved her, she did the same. Then he convulsed and died. An aging Celine Dion came onscreen and started singing some song as the credits rolled. The entire theatre stood up and began walking towards the door. The sunlight was fading as they walked out of the theatre. "Man that was a long movie." Shinji said. "Seven and a half hours" Azuka replied rotating her neck trying to get the kinks out of it. "So what's next on the line up?" Azuka looked at her watch. "Supper I guess. I'm really hungry" "Lead on." As they walked Shinji's newly found 'water' sense kicked into high gear. Of course he'd inherited this sixth sense from Ranma and it never seemed to help him. An old woman on rollerblades skated passed him and quickly splashed him. The transformation took place and Shinji changed into Ranma. "How the hell does she do that?" Ranma said as she surveyed the damage. She then turned to Azuka. "Well I guess you're date's ruined then." Her plan was going too well for something this minor to ruin it. They'd go for supper and change Shinji back there. "We're going for supper." Said Azuka determined. "But I'm not your date?" Ranma said a little confused. "We'll change you guy's back at the restaurant." Finally getting her point Ranma imitated Shinji by bowing deeply and holding his hand out to her. "Lead on then mistress." Unlike Shinji Azuka did not hit Ranma. However she did grab his hand and yank him in the direction of the restaurant district. She stopped outside a quaint little café. "This looks like a good restaurant." Azuka said as she dragged Ranma inside. "Oro?" As they stepped inside they were met at the door by a beautiful woman. Well she was around 40 years old but she definitely didn't show it. She was slightly taller than Ranma, and she was wearing a Chinese dress. But the two most striking features were her lavender purple hair that flowed almost all the way to her knees, and the bonbori that she had hanging on the wall behind her. He knew those all too well since when he was alive she treated him to many close up inspections of them. "Aya, Welcome to the Cat Café, my name is Shampoo and I will be your server tonight." Ranma noticeably froze up. Shampoo caught this and her brain went into overtime trying to remember where she'd seen this person before. She originally thought it could be Ranma in his girl form, but that was impossible since her Ranma had been long dead. She decided to ask. "Do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar." She said to Ranma. "Uh me. no I don't think I've ever seen you before." Ranma nervously replied. "Hmm well you look like my ex fiancée in his girl form." Shampoo said narrowing her eyes suspiciously at Ranma, believing him less by the second. "I'm. uh her cousin!" / Yeah that's right. / Ranma said quickly stepping behind Azuka giving her a slight squeeze on the shoulders to try to get her to go along with his plan. "Yeah this is my cousin Ranko Sourou Langley she just got into the city and I'm showing her around." Azuka said as she tactfully drove her heel into Ranma's foot to let him know that his choice of situations was well appreciated. "Oh well then, my mistake. Let me show you to your seats." Shampoo said as she walked away. Azuka leaned in close to Ranma. "You owe me one." "I know, just try to keep up the story. I can't let Shampoo know who I really am." "Whatever." Once they got to their seats Ranma noticed the person behind the grill, he obviously had eye surgery and had aged quite a bit, but it was still Mousse. Ranma gave a little smile. / So that lame ass finally beat Shampoo did he? / Shampoo laid the menus down on the table and was about to leave when Ranma saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look at it. It turned out to be a young girl approximately 16 years old. Her hair was fire red and hung down to her waist, her body was just a knockout. Almost perfect in every way. Ranma suspected something but he had to know for sure. He tugged on Shampoo's dress. "Excuse me miss." Shampoo turned. "Yes? How may I help you?" "Who is that young girl? I swear I've seen her before." Ranma said indicating the young red head. "That's my daughter, Akari Saotome her father was killed on a trip to China before she was born. A pack of wild wolves they say." "I've heard stories about an old woman that ran this place, white hair carries a staff, what ever happened to her?" "She died shortly after my fiancée." Shampoo said abruptly. "Now if you will excuse me I have work to do." She said as she walked away. Ranma leaned back in his chair and put his hand on his head. "Man just how many kids do I have?" he said. "For a dead guy you're pretty frisky." Azuka quipped. "You have no idea. Hell I thought being dead I would get to relax, but no wherever I go the circus seems to follow me. It's almost like my life is one big story and everybody is watching." After they ordered and had eaten Mousse came over to talk to them, to get feedback like every good chef should. "And how were your meals?" he asked. "Great!" Azuka offered. "Pretty good." Ranma said. He wouldn't say that he'd eaten better when Cologne was still alive. Mousse looked at Azuka. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" She looked at him. "No I've never met you before." He looked closer. "You're Azuka Sourou aren't you?" "Yeah how do you know me?" Azuka said. "Well I don't know you personally but I used to know your parents." Azuka tensed up. "It's really a shame that they died like that." This peaked Ranma's intrest. "How did they die?" he asked. "They hung themselves, and I walked in and found them." Azuka said trying to keep up her mask but her resolve was failing. "I'm sorry to have dredged up such a horrible thing." Said Mousse now realizing his blunder. "It's been nice seeing you." Quickly changing the subject. "Could I get you anything else?" "Some hot tea to go." Ranma said. Mousse shuffled off to fulfil the request. / You're probably going to want a word with Azuka after this I'd imagine. / ^ Yeah she's got some explaining to do. ^ Mousse came back with the tea and the cheque. Azuka gave Ranma an evil glance that more or less told him that he should pay the bill. He paid it and left a generous tip. It was the only type of child support he was ever going to pay. He just wished that he was there for the conception. They left the restaurant and immediately ducked into a nearby ally where Ranma dumped the hot tea on his head. Shinji shook his head lightly to get rid of some of the extra water, then he looked at Azuka. "So the truth finally comes out eh?" "I have no idea what you're talking about!" "Don't. Just don't try to lie your way out of this one. I know now why you act like a bitch all the time." "I am not a bitch!" Azuka screamed defensively. "Yes you are and you know why too. It's because your parents died when you were so young. You thought that if anybody got close to you and you started to love that person they would leave you and you would get hurt again." He leaned up against the wall. "Am I right?" Azuka was almost in tears. "How the hell would you know anything about it? How the hell could you know?" she sobbed. "You just don't get it do you? My mother died when I was young too and shortly after that my father abandoned me, you're not the only one who's had a shitty time of it. Turning off your emotions doesn't help any so get used to it!" That did it. Azuka broke down into tears. / Man look what you've done now. / ^ Me you were feeding me all that crap to say to her! ^ / But you said it. Oh just great she's on her knees now. Better turn on the sympathy and calm her down. / Shinji let out a little sigh and walked over to Azuka. He helped her to her feet. She was still sobbing. He put her head on his shoulder, and started to pat her back. "Shh shh it's all right." He said. They walked home in silence. When they reached the apartment they both entered in silence. A quick scan of the apartment didn't reveal anybody else was home. Azuka turned to Shinji. "Shinji." she said "I'm sorry." He went to pull her into another hug but instead she pulled him into a deep kiss. He could feel her tongue swabbing his tonsils, he reciprocated and instigated. Suddenly the lights came on and 15 people jumped out of nowhere. "Surprise!" they all yelled. Shinji and Azuka broke their kiss and looked horrified at the crowd. There was Misato, Pen Pen, Maya, Aoba, Rei, Touji, and several others. There was dead silence after they saw what Shinji and Azuka had been doing. Misato who was already tanked started yelling in the back. "Kiss her again. Ride her all night long. Woo hooo." Thud. Not knowing what to do Shinji grabbed Azuka into his arms jumped over the now unconscious Misato and did the first thing he thought of. He jumped out the window and started running as fast as he could. Azuka reached up for another kiss which Shinji happily gave her. Unfortunately since he was kissing Azuka he failed to notice where he was blindly running to. The plume of water could be seen for blocks. The slap could be heard for miles. "YOU PERVERT!" Azuka screamed as she stormed off soaking wet towards the apartment. Ranma just sat there in one of the numerous craters caused by the battles which had filled with water. He leaned back and started floating on the water's surface / Some night huh? / ^ You can say that again. ^ / I wonder what they're going to say when we get back to the apartment they all saw you kissing Azuka. / ^ I don't know and I don't care. ^ / You actually like her now don't you? / ^ I do not! ^ / You do too. I can read your mind like a book. / ^ Well what if I do? Where do I go from here? ^ / Well for one thing a proper date would be in order. / Ranma let out a scream. ^ What the hell was that for? ^ / There's a carp swimming around in my pants! / ^ You're hopeless. ^
Back at the apartment everybody had left except Misato and Pen Pen. Misato was passed out draped over the couch the wrong way with her face pointing towards the ceiling. Pen Pen had passed out face first into the sink. Everything was quiet. Everything was calm.
You just know something's going to happen don't you?
Authors notes:
Damn that was hard. Exams are coming up soon and I thought I should just crank out one chapter before that happens. I'll possibly get another one done after I move to my new apartment or maybe after exams depending on how I feel.
If you want to read the rest of the series I've moved it to
http://members.xoom.com/nealharris