Shinji ½
Warning: I don't plan on it but there may be some disturbing/sick humor in here. Basically if you are offended by anything don't read this.
Chapter 16: Phoenix Syndicate
The room was brightly lit. Ranma slowly opened his eyes. The ceiling was somewhat familiar. He knew he was in the recovery room at Nerv headquarters, how he got there and what exactly had happened in the Eva he couldn't remember. "The Angel!" He yelled as he bolted upright. This was an extremely bad idea since he'd been lying down for a long time. He groaned as the blood rushed from his head. He put his hand to his face. Something wasn't quite right. His hand was huge much bigger than it had been. He looked down at his chest. His breasts were gone. / Oh man is this just a dream? / Only one more thing to check. He reached down. It was there. "Alright! I'm a guy again!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs while jumping out of bed. He was naked of course but that didn't bother him a bit. Just then Maya, Misato, Ritsuko and Gendo walked in only to find a naked Ranma doing multiple backflips across the room. Gendo merely adjusted his glasses and looked away, Misato blushed a bit, Ritsuko was making mental notes trying to size him up and Maya just plain fainted. Apparently Ranma was just too much man for her to take. Gendo cleared his throat loudly. Ranma hearing this stopped in mid backflip, meaning he fell flat on his face. He looked up then scrambled behind one of the beds. When he came out he had a sheet draped over himself. "Uh hi there." He said sheepishly. "Mr. Saotome welcome back to the land of the living." Gendo began. "Thanks I guess. Um I hate to sound pessimistic but could somebody tell me what the hell is going on here?" "We were hoping that you would be able to tell us because honestly I've got no idea." Said Ritsuko. "Well to be honest I have no idea myself." Replied Ranma. "Do you remember if you saw or heard anything inside there before you passed out?" Gendo asked hopefully. "No not really. I think I hallucinated something but it probably doesn't mean anything." "What did you see?" "Well there was this lady I couldn't make her out because it was kinda fuzzy but she told me something about Shinji standing on his own two feet now if that makes any sense." Ranma said. "Oh my god Shinji." He scanned the room and upon not seeing him there. "Where's Shinji!!" "He's in the next room" Misato reassured him. "Apparently he doesn't recover as fast as you do." Upon hearing this Ranma was relieved a bit. That was until Gendo started speaking again. "Mr. Saotome we at Nerv thank you for all of your help, however via unusual circumstances you have been privy to top secret information. You now have two choices." Gendo said. He then snapped his fingers and 15 heavily armed guards rushed through the door and leveled their weapons at Ranma. "Let me guess option one is I die." Ranma said. Gendo nodded. "But only 15 guards? Come on man you know me I could fry all these guy's before they even thought about pulling the trigger." "Fifteen? I'm afraid you've miscounted there are 16. Major Katsuragi your target is Mr. Saotome if he moves you are to shoot him." Gendo said looking at Misato. "But sir!" she protested. "That was a direct order major." Misato was about to protest but an order was an order she had to obey. She reluctantly drew her 9mm and pointed it at Ranma. "Now unless you want to 'blast' the good major I recommend you accept option number two with no questions asked." "And my second option would be?" Ranma asked. "Option number 2 is you join Nerv and sign this 'gag' order." "Sounds fair. And if I blab anything." Ranma started. "Then we shoot you." Gendo finished. Ranma stepped up and took the piece of paper from Gendo. "Anybody got a pen." He said as he mock patted himself down. "I seem to have forgotten mine." Ritsuko pulled a pen out of her cleavage and handed it to Ranma. Everyone just stared at her. "What?" she protested. "What are you looking at? Everyone steals my pens! I hate that." She said, then walked out of the room to go pout completely forgetting her pen. Ranma handed the signed sheet back to Gendo. "Alright I'm Nerv now. So when do I pick up my ID card and stupid hat?" "You're ID card will be issued tomorrow when you come in to work." He said. "And the hats aren't stupid." "Hey wait don't Nerv personal get apartments or something?" Ranma asked. "Normally they do however then availability of livable space in the city has been drastically cut so you will be on your own in finding a place to stay." Gendo said. "So basically what you're saying is we blew up too much shit and I've got no place to stay?" "More or less now if you'll excuse me I have to return to operations." Gendo said then unceremoniously left. The guards following behind him. "Well now the question is where am I going to live?" said Ranma as he sat down on the bed. "Well you could stay at Misato's." Offered Ritsuko. "Hey that's a great idea!" said Ranma jumping off the bed. "Whoa no way. My apartment's full already." Misato said crossing her arms. "Well then he could always sleep with Maya." Offered Ristuko. "She's in that big apartment of hers all alone." Unfortunately for Maya no one had noticed that she had regained consciousness and had started to stand. However by being unconscious she had missed most of the conversation. Upon hearing 'sleep with Maya.', her still hazy mind went into overtime conjuring up vivid images of herself and a quite naked Ranma in various positions. This of course was way more than her poor synapses could handle. The brain is a wonderful thing it has built in safety measures for everything. For instance if the brain is over stimulated it a safety measure will kick in causing the brain to temporarily shut down the higher functions to prevent excessive damage. Thud Everyone took a quick glance over in Maya's direction before resuming their conversation. "Aww come on Misato why can't I stay at you're place?" "Because there's no room! You've lived there all this time and never noticed that?" "Well I could always sleep in Shinji's room. It's going to take some time to get used to being just one person again." "But there's only one bed in Shinji's room and it's a single." "I could always sleep on the floor." "Well but." Misato started. "Or I could always sleep with you." Ranma chided. "You've got to be lonely in that big queen sized bed so big and empty." "Absolutely not!" Misato yelled. "O come on. Why was it OK when I was a girl but it's not OK now that I'm a guy?" Ritsuko turned and gave Misato a wide eyed look. "Misato! I never knew. All these years and I never knew you 'liked' women." Ritsuko said. Misato cringed back. "It.. It's not like that! Ranma!" To which Ranma gave her the puppy dog eyes and started twitching his finger in a manner similar to the Anal Assailant 2000. "All right mister. That's it I guess you can sleep on the floor." "Woo hoo." "Come on we've got to get you're picture taken for your ID card." Misato said as she started walking out of the room. Ranma started to follow then turned to look at Maya. "Uh what about her?" he asked. "Maya? Don't worry she'll be just fine as soon as she wakes up." In the hallway Ranma's mind was suddenly filled with questions. The only logical thing to do was to arrange them into a queue and ask them one at a time. Question number 1 "Uh now that I'm Nerv what exactly do I do?" Misato pulled out a piece of paper that Gendo had given her. "You've been given the rank of Lieutenant. You're job is to train and maintain the third child's fighting abilities as well as assist in combat strategies." "That means?" "That means you keep training Shinji and." giving a little giggle "you will address me as Mam or Sir do you understand?" / Well question one answered. I don't think I like the answer though. / Question 2 / Do I still turn into a girl? / "Misato uh." Splash.
ATTACK OF THE EVIL OLD SIDEWALK WASHER WOMAN!!!!!
Question 2 answered proceed to question 3. Question 3 "HOW THE HELL DOES SHE DO THAT EVERY TIME??????" Ranma female yelled. Misato, smiling, turned to look at Ranma. Her smile quickly disappeared as she saw that Ranma was no longer male. The disappeared smile then turned into a mangled shocked look as she noticed Ranma's figure. He was still better built than her. She sighed and headed towards the cafeteria that was, thankfully, near the supplies depot where they could get Ranma some clothes. After changing him back with some hot coffee they stopped by the supply depot. "Come on Ranma you have to wear a uniform." "No way! I've never worn a uniform in my life I'm not about to start now." He protested. "Let me put it this way, either you put on this uniform." She drew her 9mm and stuck it point blank range on Ranma's forehead. "Or it's option 1 again." "Alright, alright I'll put it on." Ranma said grudgingly. He dropped his sheet that had until now been covering him. Misato blushed a bit. "Uhh Ranma." She began. "Yeah what?" "You see that big mirror over there." She said as she pointed to the giant wall sized mirror. He stood up straight (still naked) and turned towards the mirror in question. "Yeah so?" "So that's the back wall of the cafeteria." "And?" "And you remember how many people were in the cafeteria when we turned you back?" "And??" he said getting a little impatient. "And it's one way." Clothes have only been put on that fast once before. That was when Soun had almost caught them making out in the dojo. "Why didn't you tell me??" Ranma almost yelled. "I didn't think you'd strip naked like that!" "Tomboy." Ranma muttered. 9mm to head. "What did you call me?" "Ah um nothing dear. I mean Nothing mam!" "That's better. Now let's go lieutenant." "Go where?" Ranma asked falling into step behind her. "Well we've got to pick up Shinji and Azuka." She said. She opened the door to the cafeteria and walked inside. The place was a disaster. ¾ of the female population were passed out on the floor. The concentration seemed highest in the area closest to the one way mirror wall. "What happened here?" Misato pointed to the mirror wall. Ranma could clearly see the supply counter where he had changed. He blushed a bit. "It's kindof a turn off don't you think?" He said "What is?" Misato replied. "All these women were so repulsed by seeing me naked that they passed out. Wouldn't you be kindof offended?" "You just don't get it do you?" Misato said shaking her head slightly. "Just come on." As they were walking over the catwalk that connected the service area to the infirmary Ranma heard someone on a higher catwalk yell. "Look out below!" Ranma looked up just in time to see a stream of water headed straight towards him. He jumped back so the water would miss him. The water did a 90 degree curve in mid air and struck him directly in the face. "And what the HELL was that all about!!" Ranma yelled. "You've got to be kidding water doesn't just go out of it's way just to hit me does it?" Ritsuko appeared from thin air. "Actually it appears that your Jusenkyo curse has slightly magnetized the iron in your blood. Since water is a polar substance it is naturally attracted to you." She said then vanished. Ranma looked around frantically. "How the hell did she just do that?" He asked. "Don't ask me. Uh do you want to stop by the cafeteria again to change back?" "Nah I'll just have a bath when I get home." "You sure?" "Yeah I'm sure." He said as he continued walking towards the infirmary.
Misato stared after him. That was a men's uniform he was wearing. Usually officers wearing improper uniforms would be court-marshaled. They may have to make a special exception in Ranma's case. As they approached the room Shinji was in they could hear some kind of commotion inside the room. "Sounds like Shinji woke up." Ranma said as he slowly pushed the door to the room open.
5 minutes earlier.
After waking up he noticed something was wrong. Azuka was sitting on a chair beside his bed. Shinji looked up at the ceiling. He knew that he was in the infirmary but for the life of him he couldn't remember how he'd gotten there. It took him a couple of minutes but he finally figured out what it was that was bothering him. He couldn't talk to Ranma. His eyes widened as he also noticed that he also couldn't feel Ranma's presence. Normally even when Ranma was unconscious he could feel him just being there. That feeling wasn't with him anymore. Azuka finally noticed that Shinji was awake. "How are you feeling?" She asked. "Where is he?" Shinji demanded. "Where's who?" "Ranma, where is he! I can't feel him!" "Ranma's just fine." Azuka said, trying to reassure him. It failed of course. "He's not fine!" Shinji yelled. "He's supposed to be in here." Knocking on his head to emphasize the point. "But he's not!" Suddenly an idea hit him. Of course it was all so simple. He grabbed the pitcher of water that was kept beside his bed and emptied the contents over his head. "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!"
This is when Ranma opened the door.
There in the middle of the room stood a wet. semi naked. irritated. female Shinji. "Ah ha ha ha ha." Ranma laughed. "Shinji! So nice to see you again. I see you've taken on one of the family traits." "It's not funny! And. hey what are you doing over there?" "Long story bud. So now that it seems you're cursed ya wanna be my bitch?" "Only if you'll be mine." "Deal." "What did we just agree to?" "No idea." Azuka was getting a little perturbed by this line of conversation. "Shinji's my bitch, stay away from him you ho or I'll have to bitch slap you." "Stop now!" yelled Misato. "That's an order." Everybody shut up. "Alright first of all we have to figure out why Shinji is cursed now." Ritsuko appeared out of thin air behind Ranma. "Haven't got a fucking clue but I'm on it." She said then vanished without a trace. Ranma looked around furiously but couldn't see Ritsuko. "How the hell does she do that?!" Completely ignoring Ranma Misato continued. "Next we have to figure out what's with your hair." "Why what's wrong with my hair?" Shinji asked reaching up to grab his hair. When he pulled his hand down it was covered with a brown liquid. He ran to a mirror. His reflection was that of a girl alright however his normally brown hair looked different. Where the water had touched it looked as though his normal hair color was washing out like a bad dye job. He ran to the bathroom and stuck his head under the tap and turned it on hot full blast. A few minutes later he ran back to the mirror furiously toweling his head. When he removed the towel his normally brown hair was gone. In it's place was a full head of blue hair just slightly darker than Rei's. "Nice hair Shinji." Ranma said. "But I thought the curse only changed you're hair color when you were in cursed form?" "I don't get it either. I've got blue hair now. I don't understand." Shinji said. "Hold on I want to try something." He said as he ran back to the bathroom. When he came out he was a girl again and his hair was still blue. However as a girl it was a slightly lighter shade of blue. "That's weird." Ritsuko said. Ranma spun around and this time he was able to see Ritsuko vanish into thin air. "Damn it woman don't do that!" he yelled at the thin air into which Ritsuko had disappeared. Misato sensing that any further conversation would spill over into her good drinking time decided to end everything. "Alright we'll figure this out at home. Now everybody in the car." She said aloud. "But can't we change back first?" Asked Ranma and Shinji at the same time. "No you can do that at home." She replied as she herded everybody out of the room. In the hallway a thought struck Azuka. "Wait a minute you said that we'd figure it out when 'we' got home. You mean that Ranma's staying at the apartment?" "Yes Ranma's staying with us." "But there's no room!" Azuka protested. "He'll be sleeping in Shinji's room." "But I've only got a single bed." Shinji pointed out. "I'll be sleeping on the floor." Ranma offered. "Shouldn't Ranma be sleeping with you Misato?" Shinji asked. "After all you two are adults and you have slept together before so it only seems natur." WHAP. Misato neatly tucked away her black weighted sock. "As a famous man once said. Homey don't play dat." Rubbing the back of his head Shinji then decided to offer another suggestion. "Well then how about Ranma takes my bed and I sleep with Azuka." SMASH. Powering down her lightmallet Azuka just shook her head. After peeling his face out of the concrete Shinji was a little annoyed. "What did I do?" He half asked half yelled. Ranma walked over and put his arm around the young boy. "First rule of women. If you've lost you've lost. If you think you've won. You've still lost. Second rule of women if once you get hit STOP DOING ANYTHING until you can figure out why you were hit." "I don't understand." Shinji said a little confused by Ranma's ranting. "You will someday."
Unknown to them a pair of eyes was watching from his office. Gendo turned to look at the door just as Ritsuko walked through it. "It's strange." She began. "I didn't think simply being dematerialized then rematerialized would have that effect on them." "Stranger things have happened." Gendo said. He leaned back in his chair. He didn't fall over. + Bolting it to the floor has really paid off. It would probably be best not to reveal the true reason for Shinji's hair. + He thought to himself. He returned his attention to the woman in his office "Status report on Unit 01." "Well after a re-inspection I've decided to upgrade it's condition from really fucked up to just pretty fucked up." This was news Gendo was not willing to hear. Unit 01 was an integral part of their plans. "How long until it's fully operational?" He asked. "About five to six weeks. You would not believe how hard it is to get parts for these foreign giant robot things." She said. "I thought we made Evangellion parts here?" Gendo said staring at her. "We did but because of mounting costs we had to contract out to several third world manufacturers." "So you're telling me that we have nine and ten year old children making highly specialized, complicated and TOP SECRET parts!" "That's pretty much how it goes." "How much are they getting paid?" "About 25 yen a day." + Excellent. + he thought to himself. "And I have a report here on the status of our new emergency holographic display units, they are installed throughout the facility." "Very well. Dismissed." "Yes sir." She said as she turned and walked out. Things were not going well in Mr. Ikari's neighborhood. Things were about to get a lot worse.
Meanwhile in a blue sports car. "Damn it. There's something I have to tell my father." Shinji suddenly blurted out. "What is it?" Misato asked. Shinji stopped to think for a moment. "I forget." "Well it can't be too important then." She said. She picked up her cell phone and hit speed dial one. "Hello Bob's Bargain Beer. I'd like a flat of beer delivered to Misato's. Yes that one. No I'd like the 24 crate flat. No I've got two strong men here who can carry it up to my apartment. Yeah just put it on my tab." Shinji and Ranma both groaned. Azuka just laughed.
Authors notes.
Yeah yeah I know this was supposed to be the last chapter. However I decided that the last last chapter would have been too long if I had added all this stuff. Chapter 17 is the last last chapter I promise. I have also decided to kill the second side story. Expect Chapter 17 part 1 to be out sometime around July.
The rest of the chapters are archived at http://tatooine.fortunecity.com/carpenter/393/fanfc.html
E-mail me at nealharris@hotmail.com
Also don't forget to vote for the next fanfic I write. The rough drafts of two stories are at http://tatooine.fortunecity.com/carpenter/393/vote.html
Warning: I don't plan on it but there may be some disturbing/sick humor in here. Basically if you are offended by anything don't read this.
Chapter 16: Phoenix Syndicate
The room was brightly lit. Ranma slowly opened his eyes. The ceiling was somewhat familiar. He knew he was in the recovery room at Nerv headquarters, how he got there and what exactly had happened in the Eva he couldn't remember. "The Angel!" He yelled as he bolted upright. This was an extremely bad idea since he'd been lying down for a long time. He groaned as the blood rushed from his head. He put his hand to his face. Something wasn't quite right. His hand was huge much bigger than it had been. He looked down at his chest. His breasts were gone. / Oh man is this just a dream? / Only one more thing to check. He reached down. It was there. "Alright! I'm a guy again!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs while jumping out of bed. He was naked of course but that didn't bother him a bit. Just then Maya, Misato, Ritsuko and Gendo walked in only to find a naked Ranma doing multiple backflips across the room. Gendo merely adjusted his glasses and looked away, Misato blushed a bit, Ritsuko was making mental notes trying to size him up and Maya just plain fainted. Apparently Ranma was just too much man for her to take. Gendo cleared his throat loudly. Ranma hearing this stopped in mid backflip, meaning he fell flat on his face. He looked up then scrambled behind one of the beds. When he came out he had a sheet draped over himself. "Uh hi there." He said sheepishly. "Mr. Saotome welcome back to the land of the living." Gendo began. "Thanks I guess. Um I hate to sound pessimistic but could somebody tell me what the hell is going on here?" "We were hoping that you would be able to tell us because honestly I've got no idea." Said Ritsuko. "Well to be honest I have no idea myself." Replied Ranma. "Do you remember if you saw or heard anything inside there before you passed out?" Gendo asked hopefully. "No not really. I think I hallucinated something but it probably doesn't mean anything." "What did you see?" "Well there was this lady I couldn't make her out because it was kinda fuzzy but she told me something about Shinji standing on his own two feet now if that makes any sense." Ranma said. "Oh my god Shinji." He scanned the room and upon not seeing him there. "Where's Shinji!!" "He's in the next room" Misato reassured him. "Apparently he doesn't recover as fast as you do." Upon hearing this Ranma was relieved a bit. That was until Gendo started speaking again. "Mr. Saotome we at Nerv thank you for all of your help, however via unusual circumstances you have been privy to top secret information. You now have two choices." Gendo said. He then snapped his fingers and 15 heavily armed guards rushed through the door and leveled their weapons at Ranma. "Let me guess option one is I die." Ranma said. Gendo nodded. "But only 15 guards? Come on man you know me I could fry all these guy's before they even thought about pulling the trigger." "Fifteen? I'm afraid you've miscounted there are 16. Major Katsuragi your target is Mr. Saotome if he moves you are to shoot him." Gendo said looking at Misato. "But sir!" she protested. "That was a direct order major." Misato was about to protest but an order was an order she had to obey. She reluctantly drew her 9mm and pointed it at Ranma. "Now unless you want to 'blast' the good major I recommend you accept option number two with no questions asked." "And my second option would be?" Ranma asked. "Option number 2 is you join Nerv and sign this 'gag' order." "Sounds fair. And if I blab anything." Ranma started. "Then we shoot you." Gendo finished. Ranma stepped up and took the piece of paper from Gendo. "Anybody got a pen." He said as he mock patted himself down. "I seem to have forgotten mine." Ritsuko pulled a pen out of her cleavage and handed it to Ranma. Everyone just stared at her. "What?" she protested. "What are you looking at? Everyone steals my pens! I hate that." She said, then walked out of the room to go pout completely forgetting her pen. Ranma handed the signed sheet back to Gendo. "Alright I'm Nerv now. So when do I pick up my ID card and stupid hat?" "You're ID card will be issued tomorrow when you come in to work." He said. "And the hats aren't stupid." "Hey wait don't Nerv personal get apartments or something?" Ranma asked. "Normally they do however then availability of livable space in the city has been drastically cut so you will be on your own in finding a place to stay." Gendo said. "So basically what you're saying is we blew up too much shit and I've got no place to stay?" "More or less now if you'll excuse me I have to return to operations." Gendo said then unceremoniously left. The guards following behind him. "Well now the question is where am I going to live?" said Ranma as he sat down on the bed. "Well you could stay at Misato's." Offered Ritsuko. "Hey that's a great idea!" said Ranma jumping off the bed. "Whoa no way. My apartment's full already." Misato said crossing her arms. "Well then he could always sleep with Maya." Offered Ristuko. "She's in that big apartment of hers all alone." Unfortunately for Maya no one had noticed that she had regained consciousness and had started to stand. However by being unconscious she had missed most of the conversation. Upon hearing 'sleep with Maya.', her still hazy mind went into overtime conjuring up vivid images of herself and a quite naked Ranma in various positions. This of course was way more than her poor synapses could handle. The brain is a wonderful thing it has built in safety measures for everything. For instance if the brain is over stimulated it a safety measure will kick in causing the brain to temporarily shut down the higher functions to prevent excessive damage. Thud Everyone took a quick glance over in Maya's direction before resuming their conversation. "Aww come on Misato why can't I stay at you're place?" "Because there's no room! You've lived there all this time and never noticed that?" "Well I could always sleep in Shinji's room. It's going to take some time to get used to being just one person again." "But there's only one bed in Shinji's room and it's a single." "I could always sleep on the floor." "Well but." Misato started. "Or I could always sleep with you." Ranma chided. "You've got to be lonely in that big queen sized bed so big and empty." "Absolutely not!" Misato yelled. "O come on. Why was it OK when I was a girl but it's not OK now that I'm a guy?" Ritsuko turned and gave Misato a wide eyed look. "Misato! I never knew. All these years and I never knew you 'liked' women." Ritsuko said. Misato cringed back. "It.. It's not like that! Ranma!" To which Ranma gave her the puppy dog eyes and started twitching his finger in a manner similar to the Anal Assailant 2000. "All right mister. That's it I guess you can sleep on the floor." "Woo hoo." "Come on we've got to get you're picture taken for your ID card." Misato said as she started walking out of the room. Ranma started to follow then turned to look at Maya. "Uh what about her?" he asked. "Maya? Don't worry she'll be just fine as soon as she wakes up." In the hallway Ranma's mind was suddenly filled with questions. The only logical thing to do was to arrange them into a queue and ask them one at a time. Question number 1 "Uh now that I'm Nerv what exactly do I do?" Misato pulled out a piece of paper that Gendo had given her. "You've been given the rank of Lieutenant. You're job is to train and maintain the third child's fighting abilities as well as assist in combat strategies." "That means?" "That means you keep training Shinji and." giving a little giggle "you will address me as Mam or Sir do you understand?" / Well question one answered. I don't think I like the answer though. / Question 2 / Do I still turn into a girl? / "Misato uh." Splash.
ATTACK OF THE EVIL OLD SIDEWALK WASHER WOMAN!!!!!
Question 2 answered proceed to question 3. Question 3 "HOW THE HELL DOES SHE DO THAT EVERY TIME??????" Ranma female yelled. Misato, smiling, turned to look at Ranma. Her smile quickly disappeared as she saw that Ranma was no longer male. The disappeared smile then turned into a mangled shocked look as she noticed Ranma's figure. He was still better built than her. She sighed and headed towards the cafeteria that was, thankfully, near the supplies depot where they could get Ranma some clothes. After changing him back with some hot coffee they stopped by the supply depot. "Come on Ranma you have to wear a uniform." "No way! I've never worn a uniform in my life I'm not about to start now." He protested. "Let me put it this way, either you put on this uniform." She drew her 9mm and stuck it point blank range on Ranma's forehead. "Or it's option 1 again." "Alright, alright I'll put it on." Ranma said grudgingly. He dropped his sheet that had until now been covering him. Misato blushed a bit. "Uhh Ranma." She began. "Yeah what?" "You see that big mirror over there." She said as she pointed to the giant wall sized mirror. He stood up straight (still naked) and turned towards the mirror in question. "Yeah so?" "So that's the back wall of the cafeteria." "And?" "And you remember how many people were in the cafeteria when we turned you back?" "And??" he said getting a little impatient. "And it's one way." Clothes have only been put on that fast once before. That was when Soun had almost caught them making out in the dojo. "Why didn't you tell me??" Ranma almost yelled. "I didn't think you'd strip naked like that!" "Tomboy." Ranma muttered. 9mm to head. "What did you call me?" "Ah um nothing dear. I mean Nothing mam!" "That's better. Now let's go lieutenant." "Go where?" Ranma asked falling into step behind her. "Well we've got to pick up Shinji and Azuka." She said. She opened the door to the cafeteria and walked inside. The place was a disaster. ¾ of the female population were passed out on the floor. The concentration seemed highest in the area closest to the one way mirror wall. "What happened here?" Misato pointed to the mirror wall. Ranma could clearly see the supply counter where he had changed. He blushed a bit. "It's kindof a turn off don't you think?" He said "What is?" Misato replied. "All these women were so repulsed by seeing me naked that they passed out. Wouldn't you be kindof offended?" "You just don't get it do you?" Misato said shaking her head slightly. "Just come on." As they were walking over the catwalk that connected the service area to the infirmary Ranma heard someone on a higher catwalk yell. "Look out below!" Ranma looked up just in time to see a stream of water headed straight towards him. He jumped back so the water would miss him. The water did a 90 degree curve in mid air and struck him directly in the face. "And what the HELL was that all about!!" Ranma yelled. "You've got to be kidding water doesn't just go out of it's way just to hit me does it?" Ritsuko appeared from thin air. "Actually it appears that your Jusenkyo curse has slightly magnetized the iron in your blood. Since water is a polar substance it is naturally attracted to you." She said then vanished. Ranma looked around frantically. "How the hell did she just do that?" He asked. "Don't ask me. Uh do you want to stop by the cafeteria again to change back?" "Nah I'll just have a bath when I get home." "You sure?" "Yeah I'm sure." He said as he continued walking towards the infirmary.
Misato stared after him. That was a men's uniform he was wearing. Usually officers wearing improper uniforms would be court-marshaled. They may have to make a special exception in Ranma's case. As they approached the room Shinji was in they could hear some kind of commotion inside the room. "Sounds like Shinji woke up." Ranma said as he slowly pushed the door to the room open.
5 minutes earlier.
After waking up he noticed something was wrong. Azuka was sitting on a chair beside his bed. Shinji looked up at the ceiling. He knew that he was in the infirmary but for the life of him he couldn't remember how he'd gotten there. It took him a couple of minutes but he finally figured out what it was that was bothering him. He couldn't talk to Ranma. His eyes widened as he also noticed that he also couldn't feel Ranma's presence. Normally even when Ranma was unconscious he could feel him just being there. That feeling wasn't with him anymore. Azuka finally noticed that Shinji was awake. "How are you feeling?" She asked. "Where is he?" Shinji demanded. "Where's who?" "Ranma, where is he! I can't feel him!" "Ranma's just fine." Azuka said, trying to reassure him. It failed of course. "He's not fine!" Shinji yelled. "He's supposed to be in here." Knocking on his head to emphasize the point. "But he's not!" Suddenly an idea hit him. Of course it was all so simple. He grabbed the pitcher of water that was kept beside his bed and emptied the contents over his head. "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!"
This is when Ranma opened the door.
There in the middle of the room stood a wet. semi naked. irritated. female Shinji. "Ah ha ha ha ha." Ranma laughed. "Shinji! So nice to see you again. I see you've taken on one of the family traits." "It's not funny! And. hey what are you doing over there?" "Long story bud. So now that it seems you're cursed ya wanna be my bitch?" "Only if you'll be mine." "Deal." "What did we just agree to?" "No idea." Azuka was getting a little perturbed by this line of conversation. "Shinji's my bitch, stay away from him you ho or I'll have to bitch slap you." "Stop now!" yelled Misato. "That's an order." Everybody shut up. "Alright first of all we have to figure out why Shinji is cursed now." Ritsuko appeared out of thin air behind Ranma. "Haven't got a fucking clue but I'm on it." She said then vanished without a trace. Ranma looked around furiously but couldn't see Ritsuko. "How the hell does she do that?!" Completely ignoring Ranma Misato continued. "Next we have to figure out what's with your hair." "Why what's wrong with my hair?" Shinji asked reaching up to grab his hair. When he pulled his hand down it was covered with a brown liquid. He ran to a mirror. His reflection was that of a girl alright however his normally brown hair looked different. Where the water had touched it looked as though his normal hair color was washing out like a bad dye job. He ran to the bathroom and stuck his head under the tap and turned it on hot full blast. A few minutes later he ran back to the mirror furiously toweling his head. When he removed the towel his normally brown hair was gone. In it's place was a full head of blue hair just slightly darker than Rei's. "Nice hair Shinji." Ranma said. "But I thought the curse only changed you're hair color when you were in cursed form?" "I don't get it either. I've got blue hair now. I don't understand." Shinji said. "Hold on I want to try something." He said as he ran back to the bathroom. When he came out he was a girl again and his hair was still blue. However as a girl it was a slightly lighter shade of blue. "That's weird." Ritsuko said. Ranma spun around and this time he was able to see Ritsuko vanish into thin air. "Damn it woman don't do that!" he yelled at the thin air into which Ritsuko had disappeared. Misato sensing that any further conversation would spill over into her good drinking time decided to end everything. "Alright we'll figure this out at home. Now everybody in the car." She said aloud. "But can't we change back first?" Asked Ranma and Shinji at the same time. "No you can do that at home." She replied as she herded everybody out of the room. In the hallway a thought struck Azuka. "Wait a minute you said that we'd figure it out when 'we' got home. You mean that Ranma's staying at the apartment?" "Yes Ranma's staying with us." "But there's no room!" Azuka protested. "He'll be sleeping in Shinji's room." "But I've only got a single bed." Shinji pointed out. "I'll be sleeping on the floor." Ranma offered. "Shouldn't Ranma be sleeping with you Misato?" Shinji asked. "After all you two are adults and you have slept together before so it only seems natur." WHAP. Misato neatly tucked away her black weighted sock. "As a famous man once said. Homey don't play dat." Rubbing the back of his head Shinji then decided to offer another suggestion. "Well then how about Ranma takes my bed and I sleep with Azuka." SMASH. Powering down her lightmallet Azuka just shook her head. After peeling his face out of the concrete Shinji was a little annoyed. "What did I do?" He half asked half yelled. Ranma walked over and put his arm around the young boy. "First rule of women. If you've lost you've lost. If you think you've won. You've still lost. Second rule of women if once you get hit STOP DOING ANYTHING until you can figure out why you were hit." "I don't understand." Shinji said a little confused by Ranma's ranting. "You will someday."
Unknown to them a pair of eyes was watching from his office. Gendo turned to look at the door just as Ritsuko walked through it. "It's strange." She began. "I didn't think simply being dematerialized then rematerialized would have that effect on them." "Stranger things have happened." Gendo said. He leaned back in his chair. He didn't fall over. + Bolting it to the floor has really paid off. It would probably be best not to reveal the true reason for Shinji's hair. + He thought to himself. He returned his attention to the woman in his office "Status report on Unit 01." "Well after a re-inspection I've decided to upgrade it's condition from really fucked up to just pretty fucked up." This was news Gendo was not willing to hear. Unit 01 was an integral part of their plans. "How long until it's fully operational?" He asked. "About five to six weeks. You would not believe how hard it is to get parts for these foreign giant robot things." She said. "I thought we made Evangellion parts here?" Gendo said staring at her. "We did but because of mounting costs we had to contract out to several third world manufacturers." "So you're telling me that we have nine and ten year old children making highly specialized, complicated and TOP SECRET parts!" "That's pretty much how it goes." "How much are they getting paid?" "About 25 yen a day." + Excellent. + he thought to himself. "And I have a report here on the status of our new emergency holographic display units, they are installed throughout the facility." "Very well. Dismissed." "Yes sir." She said as she turned and walked out. Things were not going well in Mr. Ikari's neighborhood. Things were about to get a lot worse.
Meanwhile in a blue sports car. "Damn it. There's something I have to tell my father." Shinji suddenly blurted out. "What is it?" Misato asked. Shinji stopped to think for a moment. "I forget." "Well it can't be too important then." She said. She picked up her cell phone and hit speed dial one. "Hello Bob's Bargain Beer. I'd like a flat of beer delivered to Misato's. Yes that one. No I'd like the 24 crate flat. No I've got two strong men here who can carry it up to my apartment. Yeah just put it on my tab." Shinji and Ranma both groaned. Azuka just laughed.
Authors notes.
Yeah yeah I know this was supposed to be the last chapter. However I decided that the last last chapter would have been too long if I had added all this stuff. Chapter 17 is the last last chapter I promise. I have also decided to kill the second side story. Expect Chapter 17 part 1 to be out sometime around July.
The rest of the chapters are archived at http://tatooine.fortunecity.com/carpenter/393/fanfc.html
E-mail me at nealharris@hotmail.com
Also don't forget to vote for the next fanfic I write. The rough drafts of two stories are at http://tatooine.fortunecity.com/carpenter/393/vote.html