A/N: This chapter is a nothing chapter. What you will read is a whole lot of nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing! And yet, I have to write it, because it's a transition chapter, and the nothing has to happen. So this will be a bad chapter, I can assure you. I can also assure you that they will get better after this. My dear Smile7499: Thank you for the wonderful review! Thanks to everybody for the wonderful reviews! But, to Smile7499: You may not be converted yet, but you will.  Also to WeasleyTwinsLover1112: Nair in the shampoo huh? Hmmm…sounds like a good idea…:)

Disclaimer: I am not attempting to steal anything of J.K. Rowling's. I am just borrowing her characters for a while. I promise to give them back when I'm done.

Dedication: To Kylie, aka Shaniqua Sparkle, who has given me so many laughs, and to the hope that there will be time for many more.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match,

Find me a find,

Catch me a catch,

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, look through your book,

And make me a perfect match.

            ~Fiddler On The Roof

            Harry and Hermione were quite groggy when they woke up the next morning. They really shouldn't have been under normal circumstances; it was three o'clock in the afternoon, after all. However, they were up until four thirty in the morning the last night. It really shouldn't have taken that long, thought Harry, as he stumbled down to the common room. But they had spent most of the night trying to figure out that bloody prophecy. Hermione stumbled down the stairs opposite to him, looking quite as bad as Harry himself supposed he looked.

            "Did any sudden inspiration come to you?" he asked fuzzily, trying to clear his head.

            "No," Hermione sighed. "Nothing. I don't know what the stupid thing is talking about."

            "That's alright. I wonder what the house elves have in the way of breakfast."

            "Lunch, you mean," Hermione reminded him.

            "Tea, actually," said Harry. "It really is closer to tea than it is to lunch. What is our first class? I don't remember…"

            "Charms," said Hermione. "We have Charms with your mum."

            "The kitchens first," said Harry. "Then Charms."

~**~

            "Harry," said Lily firmly, staring at him. "Harry, I want you to levitate me. No wand."

            "Mum," said Harry in horror. "I can't! What if I drop you? Dad will never forgive me! He'll shut me in my room and never let me play Quiddtich and make me study all the time and won't let me paint any more offices pink and…"

            "Is that why you were in detention?" asked Lily severely. Harry swallowed.

            "I'd rather not say at the present time," he said stiffly.

            "Hah," said Lily with an evil glint in her eye. "I will punish you further if you don't levitate me."

            "Mum, please…I don't want to drop you."

            "You'd better not, especially since you'll be trying to levitate Hermione next."

            "What?" Asked Hermione, jumping up.

            "You two will be working together for a very long time," said Lily firmly. "You have to learn to cooperate. What if something happens where something is up high and you can't reach it and you don't have your wand? What do you do then? It could be a life or death situation. That is the way you have to think, both of you. Someone is almost always going to be after you and everything that we teach you are going to help you so you won't get caught."

            "Constant vigilance," Harry murmured. Ron would have appreciated that comment. Hermione did not. She gave him a swift kick under the desk.

            "Now, just try it," said Lily. "Just look at me and concentrate all your thoughts upwards." Harry stared at Lily very hard. Lily stayed firmly on the ground.

            "This isn't working," Harry muttered.

            "Do it again," said Lily. "You will continue to do it until you can." Harry stared at Lily. Lily stayed firmly on the ground.

            Harry sighed.   

            "Try it again," said Lily. Lily continued to stay firmly on the ground.  Sirius burst in. Harry gave a mental sigh of relief.

            "Lily," he said breathlessly, "Lily, James and I had this wonderful idea."

            "No you didn't," said Lily. "Try it again, Harry."

            "Oh, but we did," Sirius insisted. "Honestly, I promise we did."

            "Your last great idea…well, I can't remember your last great idea. I don't think you've ever had one. Plenty of stupid ones have come along, though."

            Sirius looked slightly hurt.

            "No, this is a great idea," he insisted. "James wants to tell you about it too. He and Remus are right outside."

            Lily sighed.

            "Alright," she said. "Harry, keep practicing." She followed Sirius out the door, and shut it.

            "Bugger," said Harry. "I wonder…" he looked up. There was a window, one about ten feet above their heads, over the door.

            "Harry, no," said Hermione firmly. "Lily said to keep practicing."

            "I fully intend to," said Harry, grinning slightly. He looked up at the window again.

            "No, Harry, please," said Hermione.

            "If I got you up there, would you tell me what was going on?"

            "No."

            "Oh yes you would."

            "Fine. As long as it's practicing. And you don't drop me."

            "I won't, I promise. Ready?" Harry stared at her, concentrating. Hermione began to float, perhaps four feet up in the air. She went higher until she reached the window. And then she looked down.

            "Harry Potter!" she said, glaring at him. "Harry Potter, I don't like this at all. Put me down!"

            Harry was enjoying himself immensely, smiling at her as she glared at him, until he felt himself rising off the ground as well. He yelped.

            "Hermione! What are you doing?" She dropped several feet as he lost concentration. Harry caught himself, and tried again. She rose to his height.

            "Ha!" she said, looking very pleased with herself. "I did it. I didn't think I could."

            "You are a mage," said Harry, resisting the urge to say 'I told you so.' He lost. "I told you so."

            "Hmm," said Hermione, looking through the window. Sirius was being…well…Sirius. He was gesturing wildly in every direction. Lily and James were laughing. Remus was nodding in agreement. Harry had a hideous sense of foreboding. It looked as though Hermione had had one too.

            "I'll put you down," she said, "And then you put me down. Hurry up about it, they're coming in." Harry's feet had barely touched the ground when the door opened.

            "I did it," he said, attempting to look pleased with himself.

            "Good," said Lily vaguely,  "Now bring her back down. We have to talk to you."

            Harry and Hermione exchanged glances. Something was up.

~**~

            "You two do remember that you would be taking muggle studies after you started your regular classes. Well, you start your muggle studies today." James grinned evilly. Hermione suddenly sensed more calculated disaster.

            "So what do we do?" asked Harry. "Learn how to use the telephone."

            "I expect you are both quite proficient in the usage of the telephone," said Lily briskly. "What you are taking is really a combination of acting lessons and very, very advanced muggle studies."

            "As an auror you must be able to impersonate almost every job in the world," said Sirius. "This is nearly impossible, but you have to have a good enough try in everything. Harry, it should be simpler for you. Mages pick up things very easily."

            Harry shot a significant glance at Hermione. She ignored him.

            "You will learn to act, impersonate, sing, play various instruments, work with a computer, learn several different ways of fighting, learn how to manage a business, learn several different languages, and dance."

            "Dance?" said Harry incredulously.

            "Yes," said Sirius with a sadistic grin. "Dance."

            "I don't dance," said Harry firmly. "I've only danced once in my life, and Parvati was steering."

            "Oh, you'll learn," said James happily. "We all had to. Ballet, Ballroom, Jazz, Tap…aurors are often sent to West End or Broadway because there are plenty of improper uses of magic in the lighting and special effects. Often time's aurors are sent to investigate, and they have to impersonate an actor or a musician in the pit until they have enough evidence. The singing, dancing and acting are one of the most important things they learn."

            Harry blinked several times and swallowed. What has Ron to be jealous of now? He thought.

            "We thought that we would start easy on you," said Lily. "You'll also be reading all sorts of muggle literature, things that all muggles have to read in their schools. We thought that we would start off with something nice and easy."

            "Dickens?" Asked Hermione hopefully.

            "Wrong," said Remus, "That'll be later."

            Now it was Lily who wore the sadistic grin. "You'll be performing as scene or two, but you'll have to read the entire thing." She said. "You have to design the sets, build them, and paint them, but most importantly, you have to act your part. With no magical help. We will be reading Shakespeare."

            Harry let out an audible sigh of relief. His dad would give him a break on this one, he knew it. It would be either Julius Caesar or Richard the III. A nice war story.

            Lily's sadistic grin grew, if possible, wider. Sirius, James, and Remus' faces were in an unconscious echo of Lily's. She held out two books to Harry and Hermione, grinning all the more.

            Harry groaned. Or not. He stared at the front cover, unable to comprehend that his own loving parents would do something to him like this. Hermione shot a swift glance at Harry, and then back to the cover of her book again. In bold, black letters stood the words:

                        Romeo and Juliet      

~**~

A/N: Ok, who saw that one coming? I know, it was blatantly obvious, but I couldn't help myself. :) Anyway, I am now on a vendetta against idiots. It's quite fun, actually. I was reading an article, and one person actually had the nerve to compare Lord of the Rings to Harry Potter, and say that LOTR was not occult, and that HP was full of black magic and evil things and was poisoning children's minds. Now honestly. If wizards are so evil, than why is GANDALF of all people good? I honestly don't have anything against LOTR, I read them once, and I prefer Harry Potter, but each to his own. However, when you criticise my Harry Potter, I am a force to be reckoned with. And honestly, what kind of IDIOTS are out there that they think, "Harry Potter is evil." Actually, I'll let you read the quote for yourself. You tell me what you think.

            The Harry potter books do exactly the opposite; they teach children that good characters lie, use dark magic, brew disgusting potions, and employ supernatural means to violate nature. In Tolkien's world, the magic his good characters use is not akin the occult, but to the sacraments.

            Excuse me, but does not Gandalf "employ supernatural means to violate nature?" Yes, this moronic idiot was comparing Harry Potter to Lord of the Rings. And I happen to be a good Catholic girl, and I see no indication of  "the sacraments," any more than I see it in Harry Potter. I would like to have a little chat with her. Since I am obviously one of the poor unfortunates who have already had her brain poisoned, it won't really matter that I come in close contact with such an idiot. I assume that I am so poisoned that the idiocy won't rub off.