A/N: I know all of you are now questioning my sanity. Why would Harry let out a secret that Dumbledore made Ron (of all people,) forget? Why isn't Draco freaking out yet because these dead people are throwing him in toilets? Well my friends, our favourite Slytherin is going to have his little drama quite soon. However, imagine the shock value of having something that looks like a large leprechaun in a temper, throw you into a toilet and lock you in. Especially when you are the heir of Malfoy house and nothing bad ever happens to you. I assure you, even though my sanity is completely gone, there is a purpose to most of the things I do. He will get over the shell shock quickly. Very quickly. 

~**~

            "I cannot believe this," said Harry, his head against the door. "I cannot believe this."

            "You said that already," said Draco. "Alright Potter, out with it. How much did you bribe Weasley's sister to throw me into the loo?"

            Harry stared at him

            "It's a typical Gryffindor plan," Draco sneered, "Bribe someone to lock a Slytherin in a loo, and end up getting locked in yourself."

            Harry smiled slightly. "I didn't bribe anyone," he said.

            "Oh, alright," Draco sneered all the more. "And you expect me to believe that your mother and father are around? I heard that conversation." He put on a high falsetto. "Dad! Help me! Mum locked us in!" he looked at Harry. "Who did you get to do that? Another one of the Weasley's? Did you expect me to believe that?"

            "You believe what you want to believe, Malfoy," said Harry.

            "Ah," said Malfoy, "So you have gone mad. Skeeter was right."

            "You believe what you want to believe, Malfoy," said Harry

            "You said that already," Draco pointed out.

            "So did you," said Harry.

~**~

            Ron burst into the common room. "Where's Harry?" He asked.

            "In the loo," Hermione looked up from her book.

            "Oh, alright," Ron sat down in a chair. "I'll wait for him, then."

            "I wouldn't do that if I were you…" Hermione stifled a giggle.

            "Why?" asked Ron.

            "He'll be in there for quite a while," said Hermione, going back to her book.

            "Now Hermione, that's just disgusting," said Ron.

            "Well, it's true," said Hermione. "He couldn't help it that he got locked in."

            "He what?" asked Ron. "Ugh, I knew it. He always does the stupidest things when I'm not there to stop him."

            "Or the other way around," said Hermione.

            "Hey!" said Ron. "How'd he get locked in the loo?"

            "Malfoy," said Hermione, thinking fast. "Apparently, Malfoy tried to lock him in, but ended up locking them both in…and now no one can open the door until the spell wears off."

            "Poor Harry," said Ron, shaking his head, "He can be incredibly dense sometimes."

            He's not the only one, Hermione thought.

~**~

            "Father will never believe this," said Draco. "I'm stuck in a loo for three days with Potter, of all people."

            "Well, it's no picnic for me, either, Malfoy," said Harry, glaring.

            "Malfoy's don't go on picnics," said Draco stuffily.

            "Yeah, I'm sure it's in the 'Malfoy Code Of Conduct,' right in between, 'thou shall ever be full of angst,' and 'thou shall go on muggle killing sprees whenever you find the time,'" said Harry.

            "Actually, it's called the Malfoy Rules Of Conduct," Draco drawled. "And it's 'thou shall not have any strenuous physical exercise besides Quiddtich and…"

            "Croquet?" Harry suggested. "Cricket?"

            "Water Polo," Draco finished.

~**~

            "Hermione, what are you reading?"

            Hermione looked up again. "Romeo and Juliet."

            "Why?"

            "Because I like to improve my mind," she snapped. "Ron, if you continue to be annoying I will lock you in a loo with Crabbe and Goyle."

            "Oh. Ok," said Ron.

            There was a silence. Hermione started to read again.

            "Why Crabbe and Goyle?"

            Hermione pitched the book at his head.

~**~

            "Even if I were allowed to go on picnics," said Draco lazily. "You didn't bring any food."

            "What am I, your house elf?" Harry asked crossly.

            "No, but you should be," said Draco, "you're the reason why we don't have one."

            "Oh poor wittle Malfoykins," said Harry in sarcastic sympathy. "Now he'll have to clean his room all by himself."

            "No," said Malfoy, his eyes widening slightly at the unheard of idea. "We have servants. Good gad, don't joke about things like that!"

~**~

            "So let me get this straight," said Remus, pacing up and down the floor of James' bedroom. "Lily locked Harry and Draco into a toilet, and no one can get the spell off."

            "Yes," said James nodding.

            "And they can't break down the door all because of you," said Remus.

            "Correct again," said Sirius.

            "So now Harry and Draco are locked in a toilet together for three days," said Remus.

            "Right," said Lily.

            "Did you take their wands?" asked Remus.

            "Uh…" said James.

            "Well actually…" started Sirius.

            "Didn't occur to us…" said Lily.

            "To busy laughing…" mumbled James.

            "You idiots," said Remus, shaking his head, "You're going to do Voldemort's job for him!"

            The consensus was "oh bugger," as everyone made a mad rush to the door.

~**~

            "Listen up Malfoy, if we're going to be stuck in here together, don't say one more thing about Cho, or I'll curse you until it is raining little bits of Malfoy all over."

            "Ohhh…" said Draco, his eyes gleaming. "Did wittle Potty have a crushy on the seeker?"

            "Shut up, Malfoy."

            "It's an odd way to show your affection, Potter," said Malfoy, "By killing somebody off who you fancy."

            "One more word, Malfoy, just one…" Harry growled.

            "Well it is all your f…"

            There was a banging on the door.

~**~

            "Harry, I want you and Draco to give your wands to me. Right now." James called through the door. There was a small silence before there was an answer.

            "No," Harry said.

            "Why not?" Sirius demanded. "It's for your sake as much as his."

            "You don't think I can defend myself?" Harry asked.

            "He probably knows ten times the amount of hexes that you do," said James.

            "Heh," said Draco. You could hear his smirk through the door. "You got that part right."

            "He was insulting Cho," Harry said stiffly.

            "Oh, stop playing the gentleman," said Lily. "She's dead, you're alive, and we would like to keep you that way."

            There was a glowering silence from the other side of the door.

            "For the record, I'm not handing mine in either, just because," said Malfoy.

            "If you don't," said Lily, who was beginning to lose her temper. "I will keep you in there for three weeks, not three days."

            Two wands were hastily shoved under the door.

~**~

            "Wonderful," said Harry. "I'm locked in here for three days with Malfoy, wandless."

            "Well, it's no picnic for me, either, Potter," said Malfoy.

            "I thought that Malfoy's don't go on picnics," said Harry.

            "Well, well," said Malfoy, "it appears you have brought the food, Potter."

            "What are you talking about?" demanded Harry.

            "Chicken legs," said Draco, staring pointedly at Harry's legs. "I have a fondness for chicken. Especially chicken legs." He continued to stare pointedly at Harry's legs, and delicately licked his lips.

            Harry yelped, and ran into a stall, locking the door. His voice could be heard coming through the door.

            "Wonderful," it said, "I'm locked in with the Malfoy version of Hannibal Lector."

~**~

            Remus was pacing the floor of James' room again.

            "So they're locked in for three days," he said.

            "I believe we've covered this already, Moony," said James.

            "And there's no possible way out," said Remus.

            "Yes, yes," said Sirius. "The whole door thing, no windows."

            "And you've got their wands," he said.

            "Thanks to me," said Lily.

            "Can't Harry do wandless magic?" asked Remus.

            The consensus was 'bloody beast and a half,' as they made yet another mad rush for the door.

~**~

 
            "Listen here, Malfoy," said Harry, who was still locked in the stall. "If you try to eat me, I will have to tie you up."

            "Like that'll ever happen," said Draco. "I'd like to see you try."

            "I can do wandless magic you know," said Harry.

            "Oh my giddy aunt," said Draco. "And I invented a self spelling wand."

            The door of the stall burst into splinters, and Harry stepped out. He pointed at the door and it instantly repaired it's self, and went neatly back to it's place.

            "Hmmm," said Malfoy. "So you can."

            "Could I see your self spelling wand, then?" Asked Harry.

~**~

            "Harry," James yelled through the door. "You are, under no circumstances, to use wandless magic."

            "What?!" came the incredulous reply.

            "Or I will keep you in there," said Lily. "If I find out that you've done anything."

            "I lived in a closet for eleven years," was Harry's muttered reply.  "Now I've moved up to my very own personal toilet."

            "You call this moving up?" asked Malfoy incredulously.

            "No wandless magic whatsoever," James repeated.

             "Even if he tries to eat me?" Harry asked.

            "Even then," said Lily firmly

            There was a muttered explicative, and then the ring of something that rather sounded like a sink shattering.
           

            "Ohhh…" said Malfoy. "Naughty Potter. Bad form, bad form."

~**~   

A/N: I know that I promised that there would be no nothing chapters. But I couldn't help myself! This one was so much fun to write…Anyway, to answer the quick question from wini: James and Lily can leave baby Harry behind because they will come back the second that they left. I realise that this chapter didn't turn out quite as I expected. I was going to have Malfoy go mad, but then the story ran away with me. Don't ask, I only live here.