A/N: Another chapter! Hooray! I've been waiting to write this one for a very, very long time. In fact, I had most of it written several months ago, because I couldn't wait for it. I will say this, though. Even though I had so much fun writing it, I'm quite bad at love scenes. In my other fics there are barely any because I'm just…bad at them. This is the first real one that I've ever written. Every time I try to write one it turns out sappy and cheesy and ultimately gets deleted. Which is why Sirius happens to be in this one. Smile4799: There will be NO sex scenes in this fic. I'm planning on going to year seven, and quite frankly, I believe in marriage first. So. No need to worry about that. If any of you are looking for something like that, go find another fic, because there won't be any in here. They're only fifteen for crying out loud! Gah. Ah well. P.S. You will be converted. Don't worry. I actually was a H/R fan until I read this fic that had Harry and Hermione together, and I grew to like that pairing better. What can I say? If it happened to me, it could happen to you. :)

            Disclaimer: All belongs to the great J.K.

            Dedication: For Moony aka Belinda aka Casey.

~**~

My gift is my song
And this one's for you
And you can tell everybody
That this is your song
It maybe quite simple
But now that it's done
Hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world

Sat on the roof
And I kicked off the moss
Well some of the verses well
They got me quite cross
But the sun's been kind
While I wrote this song
It's for people like you that
Keep it turned on

So excuse me for forgetting
But these things I do
You see I've forgotten
If they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple
But now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is now you're in the world
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world

~ "Your Song," By Elton John. Sang By Ewan McGregor in Moulin Rouge.

~**~

            "I'm bored Potter." Malfoy looked over to the corner where Harry was quietly reading. "Potter, I said I'm Bored." Harry didn't answer. "Potter, I said…"

            "Alive in triumph, and Mercutio slain? Away to heaven respective lenity, and fire-eyed fury be my conduct now! Now, Tybalt, take the 'villain' back again that late thou gavest me, for Mercutio's soul is but a little way above our heads, and either thou, or I, or both must go with him!" said Harry without looking up.

            "He's gone mad," said Malfoy. "Three days in a toilet makes him spout some old dead muggle guy language."

            "This shall determine that," said Harry.

            "It has already been determined," said Malfoy. "You're bonkers."

            "O, I am fortunes fool!" said Harry.

            "Right," said Malfoy. "Whatever you say, Potter."

            "Why can't we do this scene?" asked Harry rhetorically.

            "What's that?" said Malfoy, leaning over the book and scanning for that particular line. "What? Are you actually going to talk like a normal person now, Potter?"

            "Yes," said Harry. "Look at this scene. If we got to do this scene I would get to run somebody through with a sword. How come we have to do the bloody balcony scene?"

            "Balcony what?" said Malfoy. "Potter, I don't understand any of this."

            "You're not supposed to," said Harry. "If you did, I would never hear the end of it."

            "Good. So talk to me. Potter, I'm Bored…"

            "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?" said Harry.

~**~

            "Costumes and sets?" said Hermione. "Without magic? We only have a week, we'll never get it done."

            "James, can't they use magic?" said Lily. "She is right, you know. They won't have time."

            "Especially with Harry locked in the loo," said Hermione.

            "Well, at least he's learning his lines," said Lily. "I heard him shout something about Mercutio at Malfoy. Malfoy was not to pleased."

            "That's the only reason why he's doing it," said Hermione with a grin. "Harry knows that if Malfoy doesn't know what he's talking about, it will drive him mad."

            "So," said James. "Do the sets and costumes with magic, then. But, it will only give you a day instead of a week. Hermione can build the sets and make the costumes easily within a few hours. Lily can help."

            "A day?" said Hermione, horrified.

            "Not so hard," said Lily. "We'll see the final run through tomorrow, after Harry gets out of there."

            "So all Harry has to do is sit in the loo and learn his lines while we do all the work?" asked Hermione indignantly.

            "Yeah," said Lily. "Just think, he won't have any say in what he gets to wear."

            "Hmm," said Hermione. "Right."

~**~

            "Harry? We've got a change of plans," said Lily from outside the door. "We're going to do the costumes and everything else by magic. You just have to learn the blocking. Here." She shoved a piece of paper under the door. "If you just tap it, it will tell you where to go with what line. It's quite simple, really. You have until tomorrow, then we're going to run through it."

            "Tomorrow?" Harry yelped. "We have to do it tomorrow?"

            "Yes," said Lily.

            "What about the costumes?"

            "Oh, we're making them today."

            "What is mine going to look like?" Asked Harry suspiciously.

            "Oh, just like the one on the cover of your script," she said.

            "What?"

            Malfoy picked up the script.

            "Tights, Potter?" he said, starting to laugh. "You have to wear tights…" He began positively howling.

            "Oh, shut up," said Harry crossly.

            "I cannot wait to see this," said Malfoy

            "You are not going to." Snapped Harry.

~**~

            "No," said Harry. "Not happening, no."

            "You don't have much of a choice, Harry," said James. "You've still got two hours in there."

            "I don't care. There is no way that I'm kissing Hermione. There just isn't."

            "I think your mum will have something to say about that. She did the blocking."

            "Oh not the mum thing again," said Draco. "Just tell Weasley to lay off, Potter, because it wasn't funny then, and it isn't funny now. The only thing funny about this entire situation is that you have to kiss Granger."

            "Sod off Malfoy," said James and Harry together.

            "I'm sorry, Harry," said James. "You're just going to have to take it up with her, I don't have any say in this at all."

            "Fine," said Harry. "I will then."

~**~

            "No, absolutely not," said Lily. "That is one of the more classic parts of the play, there is no way that it will be deleted."

            "I thought that all the actors were men in Shakespeare's time," said Harry.

            "Fine, it's a classic part of the modern version," said Lily. "And that part is not going anywhere."

            "So you are going to sit and watch as I make a fool of myself?" asked Harry. "Thanks a lot."

            "No, we're not going to sit and watch you make a fool of yourself," said Lily. Harry brightened.

            "You're not?"

            "Nope, we're going to sit and laugh as you make a fool of yourself." Said Lily with a grin.

~**~

            "Hey Malfoy, the door's open!"

            "What?" Malfoy looked up from the chessboard, and gazed bemusedly at Harry. "The door…" He jumped up. "We can get out? We can actually…"

            He never got to finish his sentence. Harry was already down the hallway.

~**~


            "No. Absolutely not." Harry stared in horror at what his loving mother expected him to put on. "There is no way I am going to wear that. No chance at all. No no no."

            "Oh yes, Potter, say it three times. That will make it come true," said Malfoy

            "Malfoy, I don't need you spitting my own words back at me. Now leave. I've got to change."

            "Well hurry it up. I haven't gotten my quota of laughs for the day."

            "Sod off Malfoy." Harry stared at the costume. It would have been quite pretty, if it had been on any other person, or any other person had to wear it. It was a classic Shakespearian outfit, a blue tunic, with a pair of parti-colour tights, one side grey, and one side blue.  Harry groaned. It wasn't just tights, they had to make them coloured tights. He was never going to live through this. Never in a million years. Malfoy would never let him live it down, either. He could already see pictures of himself in this ridiculous costume plastered on every available wall.

~**~

            "Alright Potter, work that runway!" Said Malfoy, clicking an imaginary camera. "Come on now Potter, move those hips just a bit more. Make Gucci proud!"

            Harry turned around and walked back into his room, locking the door behind him.

~**~

            "Come on Harry, you've got to come out sometime," said Hermione. "You have to. You just spent three days locked in a toilet. You can't spend three more locked in your room."

            "I can and I will." Harry sounded as though he was talking through clenched teeth. Which, he probably was.

            "Oh of all the ridiculous…" said Hermione. She looked pointedly at the door, which obligingly opened for her. "Honestly, it can't be all that bad." Harry was on his bed, wrapped in several layers of blankets, glaring at her.

            "You weren't supposed to get that open," he said.

            "You didn't put a strong enough spell on it," said Hermione. "Honestly."

            "Go away. There is no way anybody, least of all Malfoy, is going to see me in this," said Harry.

            "Malfoy already did see you in it, apparently," Hermione noted. "By the way he was rolling around on the floor laughing. Now come on Harry, you are being ridiculous. Get out of bed and grow up."

            "I don't want to grow up," said Harry. "I always want to be a little boy and to have fun."

            "Stop quoting Peter Pan," said Hermione irritably. "And you never had fun when you were a little boy. You were either locked in a cupboard or saving the world from evil. Get up. Now."

            Grumbling, Harry pulled off the bedclothes and got to his feet. He looked good. Hermione had to admit that. He looked like any other Shakespearian actor, in the exact type of clothing that they wore back then. Harry, apparently didn't seem to think so.

            "Now are you happy?" he said. "I look like a fool."

            "You look like Romeo," said Hermione. "My costume is just as bad."

            "You don't have to wear tights," said Harry.

            "No," said Hermione with a slight grin. "You get to do it for me."

 ~**~  

            "Well this will be interesting," said Lily, settling herself down in a chair.

            "You are a cruel and malicious person, you know that, don't you?" asked Sirius, sitting in the chair next to her. "'Let's force two people to pretend to be in love for a play and see how they like it!' It doesn't sound like the best of plans, Lily."

            "Sod off," said Lily cheerfully. "Sometimes people just need a little push in the right direction."

            "This isn't a 'little push,' Lily," said James, sitting on her other side. "This is a 'flying leap off of a forty foot high cliff' in the right direction."

            "Try a six foot high balcony," said Remus, sitting next to Sirius.

            "Well, whatever it is, it should be interesting," said Sirius. "I haven't had this much fun since James and Lily first started to notice each other."

            "Notice is not the right word," said Remus. "'Tearing each others throats out while you placed bets' would probably be better."

            "Sod off, it's starting," said Lily.

            It was your normal, run of the mill version of Romeo and Juliet. Both Harry and Hermione played their parts impeccably, if not with actual feeling.

            "This is ok," said James. "But boring. No chemistry at all. Lils, I think you were wrong on this one."

            "Just you wait," said Lily with a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

            Harry had now climbed into the tree placed next to the balcony, which was, of course, where he was supposed to be. He looked, however, very uncomfortable, and on the verge of falling off.

            "Lady, by…" he said teetering dangerously. "Lady, by yonder blessed moon…oh bugger." Hermione snickered.

            "Harry, just lean on the balcony," she whispered, probably thinking that she wouldn't be heard. She was heard anyway.

            "I can't," Harry replied. "I'm falling out of the bloody tree and…"

            "Ahem," said Lily as loudly and obnoxiously as she could.

            "Right," said Harry, stationing himself next to the balcony, and holding on as if his life depended on it.

            "Ahem," said James with a slight grin, as loudly and obnoxiously as he could. "I think he almost forgot the next bit of blocking," he whispered in an undertone to Sirius.

            "He better not have," said Sirius. "I've been waiting for this all day."

            "Right then," said Harry, not daring to look at Hermione. He seemed to glean some comfort in glaring at the audience in a particularly violent manner, as if trying to blame them for forcing him to this. Which, as Sirius remarked to Remus, that they were to blame, and that just made the proceedings all the more fun.

            Harry reached over the balcony, grabbed Hermione unceremoniously about the waist, and kissed her firmly on the lips. He then backed up slightly, held her at arms length for a moment, and repeated the process. Hermione was taken aback.

            "Muummmph," she said intelligently, before looping her arms around his neck.

            "No chemistry my foot," said Sirius, "either they are in love and are just oblivious, or Harry is one hell of an actor."

~**~

            "Do you think we should stop them now?" asked Lily uncertainly. "They've been going on for five minutes, and have only come up for air twice."

            "Are you kidding?" Sirius conjured up some popcorn and began munching. "This is better than the cinemas. You never get chemistry like that on screen."

            Lily reached over to grab some of the popcorn. "But they might asphyxiate or something."

            "Nah," said James, nicking some popcorn as well, and getting a slap upside the head for his trouble from Sirius.

            "He's in a tree, she's on a balcony," said Remus reasonably. "They're trying to get as close to each other as possible. They'll get uncomfortable, and Hermione will remember she has a line. No one will asphyxiate."

            "We're heading on ten minutes," said Sirius, glancing at his watch.

            "Five galleons says they make it to fifteen," said James, grabbing more popcorn.

            "Hands off," said Sirius, slapping the said appendage as James reached for more. "Go conjure your own."

~**~

            "Ouch, um, Harry?" said Hermione, her arms still around his neck.

            "Hmm?"

            "My circulation is being cut off from the waist down, and I think I'm going to have the imprint of this bloody balcony on my legs for the rest of my life."

            "Oh," said Harry awkwardly. "Right." His legs and gone numb as well. "Hmm." Without preamble, he scrambled over the balcony wall. "Better?"

            "Much."

~**~

            "Fifteen minutes," said James, glancing at his watch. "Hah. You owe me five galleons."

            "I do not," said Sirius amiably. "There was thirty seconds when Harry was climbing over the wall." James glanced at the second hand of his watch.

            "Hah," he said again. "You owe me five galleons. Pay up you barmy old codger."

            "I'm not old," said Sirius handing over the money grouchily.

            "You're ancient compared to me," James pointed out gleefully, narrowly avoiding Sirius' fist.

~**~

            "You know," said Hermione conversationally. "Ron has only broken up with me two days ago. He's going to kill us."

            "And Ron would know because why?" Asked Harry.

            "Point taken," said Hermione.

~**~

            "It's been twenty minutes," said Lily grouchily. "This is getting boring."

            "This was your plan," said James.

            "I didn't think it would work this well," said Lily.

            "Nice prediction, Moony," said Sirius. "I don't see any line remembering here."

            "I never claimed to be a diviner," Remus protested mildly. "And I was half right. They did get uncomfortable."

            "Well, now what do we do?" asked Lily.

            "I could make loud, annoying, snide remarks," Sirius suggested brightly.

            Actually…" James looked at Sirius, considering. Sirius glowed in triumph.

            "Where's my wand?"

~**~

            A loud wolf-whistle pierced the silent air of the theatre. An impossibly loud wolf whistle. To loud for any normal person to create on their own. Bugger. Harry looked up. Sirius sat in the front row and centre, with a smile that Harry thought ought to be fined. Sirius emitted another whistle, impossibly combined with a smirk.

            "Nice one, Harry!" Sirius called, adding yet one more whistle for good measure. "You broke my record! A twenty minute snog! Incredible!"

            Hermione turned a becoming shade of scarlet. She stepped away from Harry, wiping her hands on her dress with quick, nervous movements.

            "And you, Hermione," said Sirius, contributing to her embarrassment, "I never knew you had it in you! That was incredible! Amazing! How did you manage to live with such a small amount of air for so long? You've got the stamina of a whale!"

            A whale? Somewhere in Harry's extremely confused and embarrassed thoughts he had time to feel indignant. He's comparing Hermione to a whale? 

            "Your father got five galleons from me for that little stunt," said Sirius unhappily. "You know, Harry, we  were always sure you weren't gay, it's not like you had to prove anything…"

            What was I thinking? Thought Harry. Twenty minutes? Hermione? Ron would kill him.

            "Um, Sirius," said Harry tightly, cutting off the flow of words. "Could we get on with the scene please?"

            "Well, that's what I was trying to tell you," said Sirius petulantly. "But are you sure that's wise? I don't know if we should keep you two in the same room together…"

            Which, of course, made both of them back up against the two opposite walls, trying to get as far away from the other as possible.

            "But don't let me hinder you," said Sirius with a grin. "Carry on."

            "Oh swear not by the moon," said Hermione, as stiff as cardboard. "The inconsistent moon, that monthly changes in her circled orb, lest thy love prove likewise variable."

            Harry was, if possible, more deadpan than she. "What shall I swear by, then?"

            "Oh, this won't do at all," said James. "Sirius, you embarrassed them into bad acting!"

            "How was I to know?" asked Sirius, indignantly, having just turned the sonorous charm off.

            "Now we'll just have to endure all the bad acting until they get comfortable again," said Remus.

            "You should have known, Sirius," said Lily, glaring at the offender. "You did the same thing to James and I. It took him an extra month before he worked up the nerve to ask me out."

            "I guess history repeats itself," said Sirius grinning. He stopped when he got showered with a bowl of cold popcorn.

~**~

            "Don't ever let Sirius do that again," said Harry. James grinned.

            "Why not?" he asked.

            "You know perfectly well why not," said Harry. "It was embarrassing. Very embarrassing."

            "By all accounts this conversation should be very embarrassing," said James. "And apparently it's not. Why?"

            "Because you're eighteen and Sirius is thirty something or other," said Harry. "Talking to you is like talking to Ron."

            "Well this is a first," said James. "Having a dad compared to your best friend…"

            "Sod off," said Harry with a grin, opening the door. "It's really not…" Draco Malfoy was sitting in the doorway, smirking, and appearing to be quite pleased with himself.          

            "Twenty minutes, eh, Potter," he said grinning. "I…" he stopped dead, and stared from Harry to James and back again. "Wait…you're…I…" He said intelligently.

            He fainted promptly afterward.

~**~

A/N: Ohhh…fun. Lots of fun. And more fun later. What will Malfoy do once he wakes up? Find out…next.