You actually LIKE this fic? You think it's FUNNY? Are you ill by some chance?
Yay 103 reviews… that's lots…..And for my wonderful 100 review chapter thing- I'm writing another chapter (as you guys seem to like it so much) BUT I am writing answers to the review (at the end so you can get to the chapter quicker.)
Disclaimer: I would write a disclaimer, but I have Bio homework to do and need to do it NOW!
***
"OKAY YOU PANSEYS, LISTEN UP!" Barked a drill sergeant, that had decided to replace Hurcule in briefing. (1) " YOU ARE HERE TO DO THIS EXERCISE WITH THIS SQUAD. YOU HAVE EXACTLY EIGHT HOURS TO CROSS TEN MILES OF THE MOUNTAIN AREA, AND RENDEZVOUS AT GATE ONE. THIS GATE WILL BE OPEN FOR EXACTLY ONE HOUR, WHEN IT CLOSES YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PASS THIS GATE.
" WE WILL BE TRYING TO CATCH YOU. IF YOU ARE CAUGHT WE WILL TAKE YOU BACK TO CAMP AND GAME IS OVER. IF YOU SUCCEED YOU WILL BE BREIFED ON YOUR NEXT TASK AT THE GATE."
"What do you mean when you say that we will have to avoid you?"
"AVOID YOU, SERGEANT!!"
"…. Oh, Sergeant"
"IT MEANS THAT HALF OF OUR BASE ARE GOING TO TRY AND CATCH YOU. WE WILL HAVE DOGS, JETCOPTERS AND TROOPS FOLLOWING YOUR EVERY MOVE. WHEN YOU ARE CAPTURED YOU WILL BE ITERROGATED."
"Do we get an head start…Sergeant?"
"YOU WILL HAVE A HALF HOUR, HEADS START. HAVE YOU ALL BEEN TAUGHT HOW TO SUVIVE BY YOURSELF IN THE WILDERNESS?"
The students looked around at themselves in confusion. No one had taught them THAT yet!
"Of course they have!" said Hurcule sneaking up behind the Sergeant. "They are in MY class after all."
The class looked relieved. Hurcule must know what he is doing.
"OKAY YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR EQUIPMENT. YOU HAVE A RADIO IF YOU GET INTO TROUBLE. YOU HAVE SIX HOURS THE GET TO THE FIRST DESTINATION POINT. DISMISSED!"
Most of the class ran straight for the trees. Few walked, like Erasa looking very mad that her phone was taken off her. Gohan walked away from the humans' Ki. When he was alone he sat on a handy log, and took out his map.
Sure enough there was a little red cross, which said gate on it. One thing that was puzzling him was that ten miles wasn't that far away. Why does it take ten hours for students to walk it? He worked it out in his head. If a student walked three miles an hour, it would take them three hours and twenty minutes to arrive at the gate. They must of allowed extra time for crossing through the forest, and dodging Jetcopters.
But still he had ten hours to waste. Some of that time could be spent telling his mother what was happening and persuading her to allow him to camp out in the wilderness for a while. What else could he do to waste time?
His stomach rumbled. He grinned. After all he had only eaten 23 portions of food.
***
Sharpener and Marker had teamed up. Shoelace followed them like a lost puppy. They also consulted the map.
"So what do you think we should do boss?" Marker asked.
Sharpener glanced at the map. "We should go the way that people will least suspect. We should take the road."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course, you don't become a wilderness expert like me without learning that the road is the best."
"Huh?" Shoelace didn't think the sentence made sense.
"Okay, you heard him. Let's go!"
The trio walked off. (2)
***
Erasa was very cross. First her phone was taken off her. Second, when she was walking through the military compound she noticed the betting odds. The Army guys had betted on who they thought was going to win. The favourites were Videl and Sharpener. Her odds on the other hand, were worse the Gohan's! In fact hers were the worst in the class.
She knew she wasn't smart, but she was definitely more clever then she let on. And right now she was working on how to prove everyone wrong once and for all. She was planning to win.
***
Videl kept to the thickest trees, and bushes. Even though she would walk longer, it also kept her from being spotted by any jetcopters hovering around.
Most of the class had split up into small groups by now, and had dispersed into the forest. She could still hear one or two of them now and again. She believed that most of them were heading towards the river, so the dogs wouldn't get hold of their trail. She preferred to keep her feet dry and take a straighter path to the gate. She knew, by countless experience with police dogs, how hard it was for a dog to get a trail, especially when they had twenty student smells to choose.
The dogs, she guessed, would probably go for the majority of the class, and her scent would be more faint by the time they went to this spot again.
Hearing the first jetcopter fly overhead, she dove straight into the first thick bush she saw. Alas it was a very prickle bush, which scratched her face and hands, and hooked onto her clothes.
Could it get any worse?
**
Could it get any worse? Gohan thought to himself.
After feeding himself fish from a nearby lake, Gohan decided to talk to his mother, before she tried to send out a search and rescue party. For one of the strongest fighters on earth, renowned for living in the wilderness by himself as a child, it could get a little embarrassing.
Luckily since Goten could usually figure out where Gohan was, if Gohan wasn't lowering his Ki, Goten could always reassure his mother that her first-born was fine.
Unluckily Goten had been at Bulma's all day, and hadn't been there to reassure his distressed mother.
"AND THEN THIS WOMAN RINGS AND TELLS ME YOU'VE GONE INTO THE WILDERNESS FOR A WEEK! THE WILDERNESS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! YOUR WASTING VALUABLE STUDY TIME, HANGING AROUND OUTSIDE WITH THAT 'BLEEPING' (3) HURCULE."
"But moooom…" whined Gohan, performing his best Son-puppy-dog-eyes-look. "You want me to appear normal don't you? Well to do that I have to do the things that my class do, including staying out in the woods for a week." With a smirk he turned around and tried to saunter out the house.
Did I mention TRY!
"You either get your backside here NOW or you'll taste the wrong side of my frying pan."
Gohan flinched, then froze, mid stride. It was weird how one of the strongest fighters in the universe had only had one main fear. One person who was scarier then Freeza, Cell and any other monster combined. His mother.
Calmness suddenly washed over her face, as if she was a schizophrenic. "How about a deal."
Gohan looked worried. He loved his mother, sure he did, but she was very . . . spirited, and the only person, (besides Bulma, Vegeta and Videl) that could control him. But his mother ruled the house with a Iron fist…well more of a frying pan, but still she never made deals. She usually got her own way. "What kind of deal?"
"You can only go . . . If you take some books to study with you."
Gohan inwardly sighed. Sure dragging books around would be hard to explain, but he was still relieved. He thought the deal would be much worse.
Either something was up or his mom was getting soft.
**
"I've got every single Saiyaman poster that has ever existed on my walls, and I own the Saiyaman movie, all the action figures, the alarm clock and the theme song . . .I know it off by heart."
Marker and Sharpener gave each other a look. They slowed down and dropped behind the oblivious teen.
"I ammmm the great Saiyaman and I can flyyyyyyyyy,
When I go past all the cute girls sigh,
I ammmm so cool and I date Videlllllll,
Sending the bad guys to HFIL…."
With a combination attack both guys punched Shoelace on the head, knocking the idiot to the floor. They looked at the unconscious lump.
"Thank Kami for that. What shall we do with him?" asked Marker.
"Just leave it. Someone will be bound to pick him up later."
"Okay…"
The duet carried on.
**
Gohan was bored. He was in a cave, near the gate, waiting for it to open. He was not just bored, he was really bored. He had already studied all his books, twice. Then he trained for a while, nothing to big, he didn't want to attract attention.
He couldn't go visit anyone, because if he were spotted outside the wilderness, people would get suspicious. People like Videl.
So he was very bored. Very, completely and totally bored. He soon fell asleep.
**
As Sharpener marched down the road, he heard a car in the distance. Now being the kind of guy that Sharpener was, he had a one-track mind. That mind was currently trying to figure out how to get to the gate first.
The car noise sparked an idea. A way to get from A to B in the quickest way possible. Hitchhike.
There were a few fatal flaws in his plan though.
The first one was that hardly anyone drove down the road. The second was that if anyone did they tended to be the army.
Sharpener and Marker both stuck out their thumbs and began to make the hitchhike signal frantically.
The car stopped.
Well it wasn't exactly a car more like a truck, one of those old fashioned ones with canvas on the back. Both guys headed towards the back, giving a huge smirk.
They pulled open the canvas door. The blood drained from their face.
Around ten guns were pointing at them. Sharpener gulped.
Baka
**
Gohan sensed a Ki nearby. It was near the gate. As he didn't know it, he guessed that it was someone who checked to see who went though the gate when it was opened.
Choosing between getting bored to death and talking to the guy, he decided to go for the easiest option.
He walked quietly through the trees. Appearing a little to the left of the man. He hadn't even noticed.
Gohan politely coughed.
The guy jumped. His eyes bulged out of his head as he looked at the spiky haired teen.
"Are you okay?" asked Gohan, who was concerned about this man's behaviour. "Are you having a heart attack? You've gone a very weird colour."
The man was now gulping for air, he pulled a mini map computer out of his pocket. "Name," he gasped.
"Son Gohan."
The man consulted his mini map. It was covered in little coloured dots that showed each student, as well as helicopters and so on. "Huh? According to this you were last spotted here, by this lake a few hours ago." He pointed to some vague place on the map, far away from both gate and base. "Before that, you were seen leaving base, heading in a totally different direction. Can you explain that?"
"Well… my map was upside down."
"And why did you appear here from a sideward direction, instead of a frontal?"
"My compass broke?" Gohan rubbed the back of his head, and grinned foolishly.
"Still doesn't explain how you got from one place to the other so fast."
"Well sir, I have lived in the mountains for all of my life. I'm kind of used to the terrain."
Seeming satisfied with that the army man put down his computer and stuck out his hand. "Don't call me sir, name's Bob Jones, nice to meet you."
Gohan wondered what the guy was doing, until he recognised the English custom. They shook hands.
The gate turned out to be a small base/camp, nothing really interesting at all.
**
A few hours later, the ten-hour time limit was nearly up. Very few people had arrived. In fact only four people (4) had arrived.
The first to appear was Videl, looking a bit scratched, but otherwise fine. She was very shocked, but more suspicious to see that Gohan arrived there first.
Two other people dragged themselves in, a little while after.
Bob was about to brief them, saying how his computer map didn't see anyone else in the area. Gohan managed to persuade him, that someone was close by.
"Who?" Some guy asked.
"Erasa."
"You've got to be kidding me. Erasa? The easy blond? I don't think so?"
Gohan glared, then shrugged. "See for yourself."
Erasa marched out of the woods. Her clothing was torn, skin scratched, dripping mud and sticks were poking out of her hair in odd angles. Yet her head was held high and she was smirking.
"What? Do you think I get this body by chance?"
**
Gohan was bored again. There was nothing to do. They had all been briefed, (5) and set to wonder the woods again. He had slept and woken up early, but there was nothing to do, not even any dinosaurs were near by.
He had already turned into Saiyaman and saved the world in two awe inspiring, nail biting ways in the last hour. Also saved 14 cats from trees, sometimes twice, and terrorised countless grannies by flying them across the road.
Basically he was fed up; even Dende had stopped annoying him for the present.
Feeling Bob's Ki arrive at the second gate he went out to talk to him. They waited a long time for everyone else to turn up.
No one did.
The final hour came to its end.
"So has everybody got captured then?"
"Looks like it, kid. Even that Satan kid. Weird, everyone was betting that she would go the furthest."
"Yeah…. What happens to the people who are captured?"
"Didn't Hurcule explain anything to you? They get tortured for information."
"WHAT!" screamed Gohan. They were torturing Videl! And everyone else too. How could they, how could Hurcule allow something like this to happen. Was he stupid? (6) Did he have no morals at all? Images of Videl and his classmates, bloody tortured and dying appeared in his minds eye.
He closed his eyes, and concentrated, fighting the anger that was filling his system. Videl. His eyes opened.
Then he was gone.
***
(1) The afroed dude had to go and have a rest, I think that he is getting old.
(2) Well Sharpener did a cross between a limp and a waddle, but I wont go into that. . .
(3) Funamied out to protect younger readers.
(4) Including Gohan.
(5) They had to get to the next gate, but this time in Twenty-four hours, which allowed them enough time to sleep.
(6) Does this even need answering?
Okay this chapter went very fast, because . . . it did. Questions? Comments? Just review, or email!
Okay answers to reviews
Moons Majesty: Yah the first person EVER to review my story, thanks for the support!
Leaf Zelindor: Good for you, I think you're my hundreth reviewer!
gerrys giant green grassmonkey: So who is winning now, I forgot to look. Yesterday we were still drawing. L
TW: Looks like this Gohan isn't tough enough for you, but I promise he will get better later on
Umi and Aki: Can I at least wait till the fic is more finished?
Mojojom: Wah! I hope you come back soon. Please. Death isn't what it was like in the old days…..Somebody get the dragonballs and revive her!
Megami-sama: That idea came to me as well (repeatedly), but sadly I don't know enough about the red ribbon army to write about it L. I've only been able to watch most of the later bits of Frieza and Cell saga, the whole of Buu, and the start of DBZ.
Ian: I think we have to have a death match competition to see who is more evil
My Muse's Slave: To kill or not to kill. That is the question. Sorry no deaths yet….hopefully.
Clover: I will use your idea…. eventually, But first I need the whole class to be around Gohan and a lake. So it will be a few chapters yet.
A Blank person: I'm not sure about the Trunks and Goten, but Hurcule pranks ARE going to happen!
Chokotay: Yes I am a girl! Well I was the last time I checked!
Otepoti: Yay I have a fan! The wonders of today
FloralBlackMoon: Thanks for pointing that out! I understand completely. Thanks for the criticism!
Drunken Gohan: Lol, thanks for the review.
Mrs. Videl Son: Don't blame you for killing the cliffy, Just as long as no one kills me…
Aurelia Elfthryth: I'm THAT funny? How much laughing gas did you take?
Tessa-chan: I think you have to breathe
Fire's Dew: Dumb school getting between reviews and me! _
Ezpeanza: It might happen soon. Bwahaha
Sara bear: Your MAD! Madder then me, and that's saying a lot! ^_^
To all the people who wanted me to update: The fastest I can do WITH school is two chapters a week. The only way to get me to go fasteter is by reviews. Guilty conscience you know.
Well that isn't all of the reviews, but I'm lazy and you did want this chapter, right?
Review NOW….please?
(^_^)/