Summary:  Set directly after the events in A Stitch In Time.  With the darkness, Anubis deals Seiji a devastating blow. Ryo tries his best to give his solace, but can he be enough to ease Seiji's despair?  

Ryo/Seiji shounen ai drama R

Warning: This story contains shounen ai, which implies male/male love. Please do not read if such ideas upset you. Please use your good judgment. This fiction also contains violence, suicide, and scary little creatures that hide under your bed at night.  *grrr*

Rated R for violence, strong language and sexual situations.

Disclaimer: "Yoroiden Samurai Troopers" does not belong to me. I am but a lowly slug.

Plea:  Please read and review, oh wise and generous readers! 

*Any* comments or suggestions are welcome.


Comments are happily received at: Li_bell_ule@yahoo.com


Reciprocal Motion:
Chapter four

Flirt with Suicide



They looked more like jackals, he thought, than wolves.

Seiji shook his head-- No, that's not what he meant. They had evolved from wolves into jackals. Seiji suspected that he was seeing them now as they truly were.

Like a breeze, he felt the familiar shift in the scale of light and darkness-- Anubis was drawing near.

Yes, he thought. Coming to lead the dead... Seiji suddenly had impressions of Egypt-- of sun baked sand and structures from an Ancient civilization.

His thoughts were slurring together, fragments of one melding into another. Seiji shook his head again, trying to have just one rational thought. The mental assault earlier from the creature had stripped his lucidity.

"I know you're there, Anubis." Seiji murmured. "Show yourself."

There was a brief chuckle as the shadows swirled into something wholly tangible. "Very good, Kourin."

Anubis smiled slightly as he watched anger burn off Seiji's eyes. Every time he met up with Seiji, he felt that they were playing a game-- one trying to get the better of the other.

Sauntering over to the weapons rack, Anubis all but ignored Seiji as he removed a broad metal sword, examining its timeworn blade closely. The boys had turned the backyard into a practice area and it was filled with such training equipment.

"My, Seiji, is something bothering you?" Anubis said, obviously amused.

Oh, what a lovely game.

Seiji glared at him, asking tersely, "Why are you doing this to me?"

Hurling the sword at Seiji, confident that he would catch it, Anubis pulled another sword from the rack, and turned to face his opponent. "I haven't sparred with you since the fall of the Dynasty."

There was something exhilarating in fighting his match-- something that allowed him to let go of all inhibitions.

Perhaps that is why as Anubis rushed Seiji, sword drawn, he felt truly alive, his heart leaping with excitement.

Over the clang of hardened metal, Seiji hissed, "You-- you did this so we could spar?"

The Yami Masho had to suppress another smirk as he parried the forceful blows. Anubis had hoped that he could rekindle some of Seiji's spark, but had not been prepared for such rage.

"So angry-- there's a fire in you still." He taunted. "But I like it when you play rough."

Anubis quickly regretted that remark as Seiji's foot connected with his chest in a roundhouse kick that set the warrior of Darkness on his backside.

"You bastard!" Seiji retorted. "How could you do this to me?"

Rolling aside quickly, Anubis barely escaped the wrath of Seiji's sword as he brought it down forcefully. The blade came a bit closer than Anubis liked. For half a second, Anubis thought that they might not be playing the same game.

"Honestly, Seiji, I don't know what you're talking about." He insisted.
 

Seiji paused, staring down at him with a mixture of panic and ire.

"You've taken the light away from me." Seiji whispered. "Sending your darkness after me..." His voice was rising. "Look at what you've done to me!" Seiji screamed, deviant from his normal behavior. "You've gone too far this time, Anubis."

Anubis looked at him-- really looked-- and to his horror he saw the weight of darkness crushing down on his opposite--his light--his Seiji.

How was this possible? Anubis was the master of darkness-- that something else could control it seemed unlikely-- but then, how?

Last night Anubis stared into Seiji's eyes, and saw the bleakness that he'd seen so many times before in the eyes of his victims-- that he saw reflected in his own eyes. He'd known then that something horrible had happened to him-- but he had no idea it was of this magnitude.

No, Anubis thought fanatically. Not Seiji-- the darkness can't claim Seiji, too.

The smile that had been playing at Anubis' lips fell to a serious frown. "Seiji, I don't know how this is happening--."

Seiji screamed in frustration, "You lie!" He brought his sword down hard in a forceful, helpless swing, his utter panic revealed in the careless arc of the blade.

 "I can't take it anymore, Anubis! Do you understand?" Seiji's voice dropped to a dangerous low. "If you want to fight me, do it with honor. Not with this twisted mind fuck."

The humor that had first colored the situation was completely gone as Anubis realized that whatever had stolen the light from Seiji's eyes was stealing his soul and sanity along with it.

"It's not me, I swear to you!" Anubis was doing all he could to stay one step ahead of Seiji. "Listen to me! I would never harm you-- even if I wanted to. I could not-- not without hurting myself."

Seiji was not listening to his words. Rational as they were, they were not what he wanted to hear.

Sparks flew as the metal swords clanged together furiously.

"Damn it, Seiji, listen to me!" Anubis yelled as his opposite attacked.

Amazingly, Seiji hesitated, seeming to stop in mid shift. "You swear to me that it's not you?"

Finding his eyes, such an incredible shade of violet, Anubis whispered, "On my honor, I swear it."

It broke his heart to see momentary despair flourish cross his features before Seiji battened down his emotions.


Truth enclosed around him like iron shackles, fastening him to his fate. Seiji knew that Anubis was not lying. If it wasn't Anubis taunting him from the darkness, who was it? What was it?

Deepening coldness settled into his bones. God, it felt like talons ensnared in his flesh.

Perhaps Seiji had gone insane. And that meant it wouldn't stop--Sweet Lord, it wouldn't stop. Seiji would have to continue living in this hell on earth. He wasn't sure he could do that. In fact, he knew he couldn't.


He's up to something. Anubis thought as he noted the very subtle change in Seiji's demeanor. Something was off kilter-- just wasn't quite right. Anubis couldn't put his finger on it, but his instincts told him to beware of Seiji's sudden attack.

It happened quickly-- unbelievably so. Seiji lunged when he should have parried.

Anubis stared at his stained sword, his mouth agape, shocked that the blade had found Seiji's blood. He couldn't believe it-- he'd just told himself to take extra care and now he'd wounded Seiji-- exactly what he had been trying to avoid.

Seiji doesn't make mistakes. Anubis thought, alarmed.

Noticing neither the gash in his arm nor the blood flowing freely from it, Seiji attacked Anubis again. In the few seconds of concern, Seiji caught Anubis off guard, scratching him across the shoulder with the tip of his blade.

Hissing in pain, he leapt back, probing the shallow slash with his palm. Absolutely furious that he had allowed Seiji's trick to distract him, Anubis darted forward with his sword, determined to disarm him and end this foolish standoff he had so idiotically instigated.

The action didn't register until it was nearly too late-- The warrior of light lowered his sword and turned to face his charging adversary.

Unsuspecting this, Anubis forced himself to a grinding halt, his sword at Seiji's chest. Had Anubis not been the master swordsman that he was, Seiji would have been killed.

Anubis' eyes widened as he realized what Seiji had done. Seiji had not made any mistakes. He had anticipated his moves and purposely put himself in the way of his blade. Seiji had intended for Anubis to kill him.

"Don't want to play the game anymore?" Seiji challenged.

Anubis answered carefully. "You changed the rules."

 "What's the matter, Anubis?" Seiji taunted, advancing a step toward the drawn sword. "Lacking the courage?"

Anubis stared at him through narrowed eyes.

"There isn't anything better than cleaning your opponent's blood from your blade." He said. "I know you, Anubis. You'd love the feel of mine as it runs over the hilt to warm those cold hands of yours."

 Again, Anubis said nothing, which provoked Seiji further.

"You've always wanted to get the better of me and now that you finally have the chance--."

"Stop it." Anubis ground out, silencing him. This game was not what he meant-- this isn't what Anubis wanted.

Defying him with a gaze, Seiji remarked, "Just thrust and twist."

Seiji held up his empty hand, palm forward, then twisted it around in a circular motion to reveal his armor orb, glowing soft, green light.

"Think of what I am offering you Anubis." He said steadily. "You'll be the most powerful warrior there ever was-- master of darkness and light."

Anubis remained silent, though his grip on the sword began to waver.

"Please," Seiji pleaded quietly. "Send me back."

"What?" Anubis asked. "What do you mean?"

"Return me to it-- Send me back! It wants me..."

"Seiji, what are you saying?" Anubis asked. "Send you back where?"

"So much has happened that you don't know-- that you'll never know..."

"Then, tell me, Seiji." He said softly.

Seiji looked skyward, away from Anubis' searching eyes. He didn't answer directly, but turned his maudlin gaze imploringly on him.

"Save me from this hell, Anubis. I'm not as strong as I once was-- I've been broken. And I can't stand it any longer. This darkness-- it hurts me, Anubis. I was not meant for its blackness, just as you were not meant for the light. You cannot look into my eyes and tell me otherwise."

And it was true. Anubis saw it all there in violet reflection. Seiji was his polarity in this world, and he'd often wondered how far he could push Seiji before he felt the repercussions of it.

He decided right then and there that he never wanted to know.

Seiji took another step forward, the tip of Anubis' sword driving against his chest.

"I only ask for mercy. Please, if I ever meant anything to you..."

The large sword hit the ground with a dull thud. "I cannot." Anubis murmured. "Suicide does not become you, Kourin."



************************

It was just after midnight when Ryo startled awake. He groaned softly on the couch, stretching from the awkward position he'd fallen asleep in.

He'd been waiting up for Seiji. It had taken all his will power not to go out in search of him. As much as he hated to admit it, Touma was right-- Seiji would not come to him, especially since he had not been particularly understanding these past few days.

But what was he supposed to think? You spend the night next to someone and you expect them to be there in the morning-- or at least offer some explanation.

He rubbed his eyes, wearily. Ryo wasn't coping with the changes very well, and he could only imagine what Seiji was going through.

Ryo sighed as he thought about the blond. He was uncertain where he stood with him. It had hurt so intensely when Seiji had died-- he had been certain that his heart had ruptured. Ever since that moment he'd felt very protective of Seiji.

Ryo had lost him twice already and he didn't think he could stand losing his friend again, even if it was to his own inner demons.

The warrior of Virtue heard a clatter from outside and peered cautiously through the broad windows to the backyard.

He saw nothing, but heard the murmur of a voice-- Seiji's voice.

"Seiji?" Ryo asked, stepping outside. "Who are you talking--."

Ryo stopped short, fear momentarily stealing his momentum. Seiji was bleeding, the entire length of his right arm slick and stained red. "You're hurt--How did this happen?"

The warrior of light did not hear him. Seiji swayed slightly and fell to his knees.

Ryo was by his side in an instant, carefully probing the wound with his fingertips. It didn't look life threatening, but he'd lost a considerable amount of blood.

"I'm damned." Seiji whispered sullenly.

Perturbed by Ryo's grip on his shoulder, Seiji shouted, "Get away from me-- you'll be hurt too!"

"That's ridiculous. Come inside and let me bandage your arm." Ryo said, trying to help him up.

Seiji pushed Ryo away and screamed, "Don't touch me!"

Capturing him from behind, Ryo hissed, "Seiji, be still!"

It took only a moment for the warrior of light to stop struggling, and fall laden against Ryo's chest. For an instant, Ryo feared that he'd passed out, but Seiji was conscious, if leaning wearily against him. He simply did not have the strength to fight.

Ryo stood, drawing Seiji up with him, helping him to his feet.

"Come on," Ryo said sternly as he guided Seiji into the house by his shoulders. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Ryo pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and coerced Seiji to sit down. He fell into the seat without so much as a word.

"You haven't been yourself lately," Ryo began as he searched the kitchen cabinets for the first aid kit. "The others have noticed it too, Seiji."

Once locating the kit, Ryo swung another chair over and sat to face Seiji with the necessary first aid implements in hand.

"You have to stop this nonsense." Ryo lectured while ripping gauze into strips, as if all Seiji needed was a grim talking to and a band-aid. "Touma's worried and so am I.  He says it's like you're seeing things that aren't really there or something."

Gently, he cleaned the area around the gash trying not to let the astringent sting. "How did you do this to yourself anyway?" Ryo asked. He noticed the blood had streamed down the length of Seiji's arm and dripped from his languid fingers to form a red pool on the floor.

When he got no reply Ryo looked up at Seiji and realized that he was not listening to him. He was staring off into space, transfixed by something Ryo could not see.

He really does see something. Ryo thought.

Turning his worried eyes over him, Ryo took this rare opportunity to examine Seiji closely.

The warrior of light was trembling, shaking ever so slightly. Anxiety creased his countenance and his pupils were dilated, forcing his irises to thin rings of violet. Seiji was in shock, but Ryo suspected that it was not purely from loss of blood.

"Hey," Ryo said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Seiji jolted at his touch, startling Ryo as well. This wasn't like Seiji at all. He never let anyone see him in a state less than total control-- not like this-- falling apart at the seams.

"Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." Ryo said as he thought desperately,What's happening to you?

He received no reply.

"It's all right, Seiji," Ryo soothed. "I promise I'll keep it to myself. Please, just let me help you."



Seiji wanted to scream. He wanted to dive headlong into Ryo's security and wrap himself in it, and at the same time, he wanted to force Ryo away from the dark things that lurked deep inside of him.

"I can't tell you," was all Seiji managed to whisper.

"You can tell me anything, Seiji." Ryo was so sincere-- so completely concerned for him.

How could he make Ryo understand?

That on which his life had always rested, had somehow broken. He had been chosen-- He did not wish to die, yet he was drawn towards death-- rather, it was attracted to him.

How could he tell Ryo this? Ryo believed in chivalry, and fairy tales, and knights in mystical armor, and happy endings. Ryo wouldn't understand this. Seiji hardly understood himself.

Seiji opened his mouth, armed with a lie. But the words evaporated on his parched lips. Ryo was looking at him expectantly, patiently waiting. He couldn't do it. Ryo was the most genuine person Seiji knew. He would not lie to him.

"I..." Seiji hesitated. "I'm lost..." He blinked in surprise-- that was not what he'd intended to say. "...caught between existence and something far worse... there's no light, just-- lack of. It hurts, Ryo. It hurts me. I-I don't think I can stand it any longer."

The words were flowing out quickly, before he could hold them back.

"It-- they're dragging me with them, biting, stealing pieces at a time... I've nothing left, Ryo. They've taken it all-- I have no choice but to accept what they've laid before me."

"Who is, Seiji? Who's hurting you?"

But Seiji could only shake his head-- he dared not say anymore.

"I didn't know, Seiji." Ryo said at a loss. "If you hadn't--." Ryo stopped, unable to speak the word aloud. "None of this would have... I should have done something more-- I-I should have tried harder to keep you here-- It should have been me, not you. This is my--."

Seiji reached out and held the side of Ryo's face firmly. "No."

He let his hand fall, leaving behind a red hand print on Ryo's cheek. "Don't do that. What's done is done. I've no regrets-- I can't regret that you and Nasuti are safe."

Ryo looked away, conquered by emotion. The consequences were catching up to them after all.

"Please don't." Seiji whispered. "I need you to be strong for me, Ryo."

The black haired boy turned sharply towards him, disliking the tone of his voice.

Seiji looked at his hands folded in his lap, defeated.

"I-I don't know how to fight this. I can't take it anymore, Ryo. I'm simply not strong enough." Seiji whispered despondently.

 "Don't you give up!" Ryo shouted, placing his hands over Seiji's and leaning in close. He didn't like where Seiji was going with this. "Don't you dare! I promised you that we'd get through this and we will. Whatever it takes--."

Seiji shook his head vehemently. "No, it's too late. They've got me." A tear rolled down his cheek-- despair leaking in a steady stream.

"I'm dead inside." Seiji murmured to Ryo.

The creature's words coming out of his mouth-- and he used to be such a nice boy.

"Stop it." Ryo said. He cupped Seiji's face with his hand and wiped away the tear with his thumb. "I won't allow anything to happen to you again."

"...so stubborn..." Seiji whispered as silent tears spilled down his cheeks. Why did Ryo have to be so adamant? Couldn't he understand that Seiji was trying to tell him goodbye? It was hard enough without him refusing to let go.

Ryo leaned forward and affectionately enfolded Seiji in his arms.

"Shhh." He murmured against his soft hair.

Gently, Ryo kissed Seiji on the forehead. "It'll be all right."

Then, moving lower, he kissed him again, warm lips pressing tenderly against Seiji's cheek. "I can't let you go..." Ryo murmured against his skin.

Ryo moved in for a third kiss when the lights to the kitchen flickered on.

"What's going on in here?"

It was Nasuti. Dressed in her nightgown, with a white, terry cloth bathrobe hanging from her shoulders, she stood frowning in the doorway of the kitchen.

His face flushed, Ryo spun around to confront her, sitting back in his chair. "He's hurt." Ryo said bluntly. "And upset and I was trying to help him."

Nasuti looked past Ryo at Seiji who was breathing heavily and clutching his half bandaged arm.

"Ryo!" She said angrily. "That's not the way you dress a wound."

She pushed Ryo aside and gently rewrapped Seiji's arm-- she did have years of practice at this sort of thing.

"How did you manage to do this to yourself?" Nasuti asked as she worked.

"Careless with a sword..." he mumbled.

"There." She said, pleased with herself. "It's finished. Why don't you go wash up now?"

Ryo hesitated. "Will you be okay?" He asked Seiji.

Seiji nodded mutely, but did not look at him.

Nasuti stood and pulled Ryo along with her. "Come on, Ryo. Let him get cleaned up."

Abashed, Ryo allowed himself to be goaded upstairs by the persistent girl.

"Besides," Nasuti said as she took his arm, "it's way past your bedtime. I wonder what you all would do without me..."

Ryo wondered what might have happened had she not interrupted.

*********************

Seiji tentatively placed a hand over his cheek.

Oh, Ryo's touch-- Ryo's burning touch. Seiji wasn't used to touch, wasn't used to the feel of skin against his skin, but lately Ryo had touched him more and in more intimate ways than Seiji ever recalled.

The impression of Ryo's lips against his skin was seared into his memory. He'd take it with him.

Seiji stood slowly, gripping the chair with his good arm to help himself stand. Suddenly everything went bleary and monotoned-- the house looked decrepit in horrific shades of blue, black and white.

A black-eyed jackal sat on the floor in front of him.

:You spoke of us. He is next, once we're through with you... or perhaps you will watch him suffer...:

 "Don't you touch him." Seiji said flatly. "Do whatever you want to me, but leave him alone."

 It merely smiled in response, a terrible, knowing grin. :Fool us, you believe you can? Don't think that he can save you.:

Seiji said nothing. All was not lost if Ryo still had faith. Knowing Ryo as he did, Seiji knew that he would do everything in his power to help another-- even if it meant recklessly endangering his own life.

:Too late now regardless-- what flows through your veins is black.:

 "This is my blood here-- it's still red with life." Seiji said pointing to the red stains on the sleeve of his shirt.

:Spill your blood now and prove it.:




To be continued in chapter five...



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This was a long, hard chapter for me-- many, many nights of revisions. Could you guys review, please? Pretty please? I've worked very hard on this story and I feel like no one is reading it :( so discouraging!

Thanks to those who have actually stuck with it and chapter five promises to answer many questions.

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