Chapter 3
Monica awakened with a headache and decided to skip breakfast in the main dining area. She opted to eat a banana and drink bottled water in the quiet of her room. Swallowing two aspirin quickly followed.
When the pounding in her head eased, she donned her two-piece printed swimsuit, grabbed a bottle of suntan lotion, her sunglasses, and a book and headed for one of the three luxurious Olympic-sized pools. Carla, a gregarious young redhead who supervised the poolside reception area, remembered Monica and greeted her warmly as she handed her a beach blanket and a sealed envelope.
"What's this?"
"I was asked to give that to you by a very cute guy."
A faint blush colored Monica's cheeks.
"Thanks."
After getting settled in a lounge chair, Monica opened the envelope and pulled out a handwritten note from Daniel.
"Hope you're feeling better," he wrote. "If you are, please meet me at our table at noon for lunch. I'd like to see you again."
Monica smiled as she folded the paper and slipped it back into its envelope. She reclined in the chair and closed her eyes. The decision had been made. She would rest for half an hour and then swim for the next half hour. After that, she would return to her room, change and meet Daniel as he had requested. What happened after that she was leaving up to fate.
**
Chandler sat in his seat on the plane, trying to get comfortable. He'd attempted to watch the movie but gave up in frustration. Same for the reading material he'd brought with him. He had the attention span of a gnat. What he really wanted was a cigarette, but he knew he could not go down that road again. Especially when he was on his way to see Monica for the first time in four agonizing months.
**Flashback - Late January 2001**
"Thank you for coming," Monica said, as she ushered Chandler into the apartment he had not stepped foot in since New Year's Day.
"Of course," a subdued Chandler replied.
They each took a seat on the couch in the living room. Monica offered Chandler coffee and a pastry from the plate on the coffee table. Chandler declined both with a wry smile.
"No matter what is going on in your world, you'll always be the hostess, won't you?"
"It's what I know," Monica said. "It's what I am."
"Mon," Chandler said, reaching out to stroke her hair. Relieved when she didn't recoil from his touch, he continued, "You are so much more than that. You're a beautiful, vibrant, caring woman who has so much to offer."
"Except that I go too far," she said, quoting from their previous arguments. "I don't know when to give up, when to compromise, when to let the other person have his way."
"I know, in the heat of our arguments, I've said those things. We've both thrown our shortcomings at each other in very unpleasant and hurtful ways."
"You're right," Monica said, looking down at her lap. "That's why I have to do this."
With tears glistening in her eyes, she raised her head to gaze at Chandler.
"I forgive you for all the insults you've hurled at me during these last few months, and I hope you can forgive me for the insensitive remarks I've made. I don't want to fight any more. I don't have the energy. I also don't want us to become like Ross and Rachel. I don't know how they do it, but I know it would reek for me to spend time with you, especially if you were involved with someone else."
"Monica," Chandler said, his voice strained, "what are you saying? I'm not going to be with someone else. I don't want anyone else."
"I'm sorry, Chandler. This has been the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I'm ending our engagement. I love you, but I can't be with you. You were right when you said arguing and accusing is no way to enter into a marriage. My head's been in the clouds, and I've been wearing blinders. But now, for the first time in a long while, I'm thinking and seeing things clearly. Our marriage would never work. We'd always be at odds over one thing or another. There would always be something for us to disagree about. I don't want to live my life that way. I won't. Your views on what marriage is all about and my need to have the perfect wedding and marriage make us incompatible. I'm thankful I realized this before we exchanged our vows."
Before Chandler could stop her, Monica removed the diamond and sapphire ring from her slender finger. She stared at the sparkling gems for one long, heartbreaking moment before setting the ring in the gray velvet box and handing it to Chandler.
"Please, take it."
"Monica..."
"No," she said, shaking her head. "Take it and leave. Just go."
Even through his own anger and hurt, Chandler saw the determination in Monica's eyes. Not wanting to upset her further, he held out a trembling hand to take the case. The tips of their fingers touched. Shock waves shot through both of them. The power of their attraction had not dissipated. An ignitable spark remained that neither could deny. That one fact gave Chandler hope.
"I'll leave for now," he said, rising unsteadily from the sofa. "But I don't believe this is how we end. I know we have problems, but I also know we love each other. We've come a long way, Monica. Because we helped each other. Think about it. I have. I've done nothing but think about us since New Year's Eve. I thought you called me here to try to work things out. I'm accepting you returning your engagement ring only because I believe, someday, you will let me put it on your finger again. And when I do, Monica, you will never take it off."
**End of Flashback**
That was the last time he had seen Monica. The past four months had been the longest and the loneliest of his life. The only thing keeping him going was the knowledge that Monica was as miserable as he was.
When Rachel had called him and asked him to meet her at Central Perk, he thought sure Monica would be there. Instead, he found out that she had gone on the Caribbean cruise. He'd refused to panic until Phoebe let it slip that Richard was also on the cruise. Chandler's first instinct was to give up all hope, but his love for Monica wouldn't let him. He'd fought for her once. With a moment's clarity in Joey's apartment, he knew he had to fight for her again.
He retrieved his carry-on bag from the seat in front of him and unzipped it. His hand closed around the square box and he pulled it out. Opening the case, he looked at the ring that was just as beautiful to him as the first time he'd seen it in the jewelry store display case.
"You will wear this ring again, Monica," he vowed silently. "Because I've realized there is nothing we can't work through."
**
"I've enjoyed our time," Daniel said to Monica. "You seem calmer than last night."
They sat at one of the quieter lounges sipping wine after a late supper.
"I've enjoyed it, too. Playing volleyball in the pool was fun."
"I know you liked that we won."
Monica felt herself blush. "Is my competitiveness that obvious?"
Daniel shrugged and chuckled. "Just a tad. But you wear it well."
"Ross, that's my brother, and I competed all the time. I think it started because we were so close in age. Chandler, though, he didn't always approve..."
Her voice trailed off when she realized what she had been about to say.
"Ah," Daniel said, gazing into her eyes, "you finally said his name."
"Whose name?"
Monica feigned ignorance; it didn't work.
"The one who never seems to be far from your thoughts."
"No, that's not true."
"Monica, I know I'm competing with someone, I just don't know if he's a former husband, lover or a ghost. Why don't you fill me in?"
She took a long swallow of her Chablis before speaking.
"Chandler is my former fiancé. If I seem a little out of it, it's because this was supposed to have been our honeymoon cruise. But I'm getting on with my life, Daniel, I am. Taking this cruise by myself was a big step. So, okay, I'm not exactly the life of the party, but I'm not hiding in my room either."
"No, you're not," he said, covering her hand with his own, "and I think that's great. I applaud the fact you decided to take this cruise. If you'll let me, I think I can make this a most pleasurable vacation for both of us."
Monica couldn't help but to react to Daniel's charming smile. She liked him. He was handsome, fun and didn't seem to take life too seriously. She needed someone like him to balance her dark moods and bring more light into her life. Would it be so wrong, she thought as guilt nipped at her conscience, to spend time with Daniel? If he was willing, knowing there was an ex-fiancé, shouldn't she be just as flexible? There was no way this would turn serious. He wanted to have a good time. So did she. What would be the harm?
"Penny for your thoughts."
Monica stirred and realized Daniel's mouth was mere inches from hers. Her first inclination was to back away, but instead, she found herself leaning in closer.
Their lips brushed together lightly. Monica hesitated for a moment and then allowed the kiss to deepen. Daniel pulled her closer and ran his fingers through her dark silky hair. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tried to lose herself in the moment. She couldn't do it. She couldn't let go completely. That thought made her tense. Daniel sensed she was no longer enjoying the kiss and ended it.
"You're not ready for this," he stated.
"I thought I was," she said. "But you're right, I'm not. I didn't mean to lead you on. I'm sorry."
"Hey, I'm not giving up that easily."
He flashed her a disarming smile. Monica felt as though she had to try to ease away from him. He deserved to be with someone who wasn't weighed down emotionally.
"I'm sure there are many woman on this cruise who would love to spend time with you."
"If there are, I haven't noticed. I'm very attracted to you, Monica, and believe it or not, I didn't come on this cruise looking to find a woman. I have a very stressful job, and I wanted a break from it and from the people who hound me almost twenty-four hours a day."
Despite her reservations about continuing to spend time with him, her curiosity about his career got the best of her.
"What kind of job do you have?"
"I work for an international hotel chain. I oversee the restaurant/catering division for most of the East Coast. We're currently reorganizing. It's been a nightmare."
"Wow. I'm sorry to hear it's not going well, but I think it's great we have something so wonderful in common."
"Do you work for a hotel?"
"No. I'm the head chef for a popular restaurant in Manhattan."
"That's great. Have you created your own menus?"
"I did when I first got the job."
"I think we finally found something to talk about that makes you happy. Was your transition to head chef a smooth one?"
"Actually, it wasn't. The employees didn't like me. I came into a bad situation, but it's gotten better. I'm doing something I love."
"Was the menu change successful?"
"Yes, it was."
"Congratulations on passing that hurdle. My staff is at odds over every little detail. It would be a relief if I could find someone like you to supervise the others. Then, maybe the reorganization could be finalized and we could move on to the implementation phase."
"There must be someone who could step up and take charge."
"Unfortunately, there isn't. They're all worried about their jobs and their positions within the organization. I can't say I blame them. Uncertainty abounds."
"Sounds like you need a third party, someone who can be objective about your goals, like an outside consultant."
"You're right. I'm on vacation, but there are some decisions I'm supposed to be making while I'm 'getting away from it all'. If I decide to hire someone to create our new menus, would you be interested in the position?"
Stunned, Monica didn't speak for a long moment.
"I-I'm not looking for a new job."
"I didn't think you were. But I can see the passion you have for your career. You seemed shocked that people can't agree on food choices."
"Well, it's exciting to plan a new menu. There's a lot that goes along with the new item choices. But I also enjoy cooking the meals I've chosen for the restaurant. I don't think I could give that up."
"You wouldn't have to. Once the menus are set, you would have first choice. Pick whichever hotel and location your heart desires. You would run the show. And, I should tell you, this offer is not necessarily limited to the United States. Do you have a favorite European city? We probably have a hotel restaurant that needs you."
Monica's smile dimmed. Daniel noticed the change immediately.
"I said the wrong thing, didn't I?"
"It's okay. Hearing the word 'Europe' reminded me of Chandler. We talked a lot about going to Paris, maybe for a year, once we had settled into married life. I thought it would be neat to study cooking there, and Chandler, he has a passion that he rarely allows himself to explore. We thought living in Paris might give us both an opportunity to enjoy our interests."
"From the little you've told me, it sounds like you two were planning a great future. How is it you ended up alone on your honeymoon cruise?"
Monica's eyes clouded. Daniel watched as she physically retreated from him. He knew he had asked too personal a question, had pushed Monica beyond her comfort zone.
"I'm sorry. It's none of my business, of course."
"I'd like to return to my room," she said. "It's been a long but nice day."
"Sure. I'll walk with you."
They fell into step but neither spoke as they headed for Monica's stateroom. When they reached her door, she smiled.
"I had a great time. Thank you."
"I know you're in turmoil, Monica. The last thing I want to do is to add pressure. I hope we can have fun tomorrow. I think you will love St. Thomas."
"It looks beautiful from the pictures I've seen."
"The island is spectacular, and it also has a bit of a mysterious feel to it. I think you will really enjoy it. I don't know why, but I have a feeling something memorable is going to happen to you in St. Thomas."
At Monica's quizzical expression, Daniel continued.
"Not something bad," he explained. "Just something...memorable."
Monica awakened with a headache and decided to skip breakfast in the main dining area. She opted to eat a banana and drink bottled water in the quiet of her room. Swallowing two aspirin quickly followed.
When the pounding in her head eased, she donned her two-piece printed swimsuit, grabbed a bottle of suntan lotion, her sunglasses, and a book and headed for one of the three luxurious Olympic-sized pools. Carla, a gregarious young redhead who supervised the poolside reception area, remembered Monica and greeted her warmly as she handed her a beach blanket and a sealed envelope.
"What's this?"
"I was asked to give that to you by a very cute guy."
A faint blush colored Monica's cheeks.
"Thanks."
After getting settled in a lounge chair, Monica opened the envelope and pulled out a handwritten note from Daniel.
"Hope you're feeling better," he wrote. "If you are, please meet me at our table at noon for lunch. I'd like to see you again."
Monica smiled as she folded the paper and slipped it back into its envelope. She reclined in the chair and closed her eyes. The decision had been made. She would rest for half an hour and then swim for the next half hour. After that, she would return to her room, change and meet Daniel as he had requested. What happened after that she was leaving up to fate.
**
Chandler sat in his seat on the plane, trying to get comfortable. He'd attempted to watch the movie but gave up in frustration. Same for the reading material he'd brought with him. He had the attention span of a gnat. What he really wanted was a cigarette, but he knew he could not go down that road again. Especially when he was on his way to see Monica for the first time in four agonizing months.
**Flashback - Late January 2001**
"Thank you for coming," Monica said, as she ushered Chandler into the apartment he had not stepped foot in since New Year's Day.
"Of course," a subdued Chandler replied.
They each took a seat on the couch in the living room. Monica offered Chandler coffee and a pastry from the plate on the coffee table. Chandler declined both with a wry smile.
"No matter what is going on in your world, you'll always be the hostess, won't you?"
"It's what I know," Monica said. "It's what I am."
"Mon," Chandler said, reaching out to stroke her hair. Relieved when she didn't recoil from his touch, he continued, "You are so much more than that. You're a beautiful, vibrant, caring woman who has so much to offer."
"Except that I go too far," she said, quoting from their previous arguments. "I don't know when to give up, when to compromise, when to let the other person have his way."
"I know, in the heat of our arguments, I've said those things. We've both thrown our shortcomings at each other in very unpleasant and hurtful ways."
"You're right," Monica said, looking down at her lap. "That's why I have to do this."
With tears glistening in her eyes, she raised her head to gaze at Chandler.
"I forgive you for all the insults you've hurled at me during these last few months, and I hope you can forgive me for the insensitive remarks I've made. I don't want to fight any more. I don't have the energy. I also don't want us to become like Ross and Rachel. I don't know how they do it, but I know it would reek for me to spend time with you, especially if you were involved with someone else."
"Monica," Chandler said, his voice strained, "what are you saying? I'm not going to be with someone else. I don't want anyone else."
"I'm sorry, Chandler. This has been the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I'm ending our engagement. I love you, but I can't be with you. You were right when you said arguing and accusing is no way to enter into a marriage. My head's been in the clouds, and I've been wearing blinders. But now, for the first time in a long while, I'm thinking and seeing things clearly. Our marriage would never work. We'd always be at odds over one thing or another. There would always be something for us to disagree about. I don't want to live my life that way. I won't. Your views on what marriage is all about and my need to have the perfect wedding and marriage make us incompatible. I'm thankful I realized this before we exchanged our vows."
Before Chandler could stop her, Monica removed the diamond and sapphire ring from her slender finger. She stared at the sparkling gems for one long, heartbreaking moment before setting the ring in the gray velvet box and handing it to Chandler.
"Please, take it."
"Monica..."
"No," she said, shaking her head. "Take it and leave. Just go."
Even through his own anger and hurt, Chandler saw the determination in Monica's eyes. Not wanting to upset her further, he held out a trembling hand to take the case. The tips of their fingers touched. Shock waves shot through both of them. The power of their attraction had not dissipated. An ignitable spark remained that neither could deny. That one fact gave Chandler hope.
"I'll leave for now," he said, rising unsteadily from the sofa. "But I don't believe this is how we end. I know we have problems, but I also know we love each other. We've come a long way, Monica. Because we helped each other. Think about it. I have. I've done nothing but think about us since New Year's Eve. I thought you called me here to try to work things out. I'm accepting you returning your engagement ring only because I believe, someday, you will let me put it on your finger again. And when I do, Monica, you will never take it off."
**End of Flashback**
That was the last time he had seen Monica. The past four months had been the longest and the loneliest of his life. The only thing keeping him going was the knowledge that Monica was as miserable as he was.
When Rachel had called him and asked him to meet her at Central Perk, he thought sure Monica would be there. Instead, he found out that she had gone on the Caribbean cruise. He'd refused to panic until Phoebe let it slip that Richard was also on the cruise. Chandler's first instinct was to give up all hope, but his love for Monica wouldn't let him. He'd fought for her once. With a moment's clarity in Joey's apartment, he knew he had to fight for her again.
He retrieved his carry-on bag from the seat in front of him and unzipped it. His hand closed around the square box and he pulled it out. Opening the case, he looked at the ring that was just as beautiful to him as the first time he'd seen it in the jewelry store display case.
"You will wear this ring again, Monica," he vowed silently. "Because I've realized there is nothing we can't work through."
**
"I've enjoyed our time," Daniel said to Monica. "You seem calmer than last night."
They sat at one of the quieter lounges sipping wine after a late supper.
"I've enjoyed it, too. Playing volleyball in the pool was fun."
"I know you liked that we won."
Monica felt herself blush. "Is my competitiveness that obvious?"
Daniel shrugged and chuckled. "Just a tad. But you wear it well."
"Ross, that's my brother, and I competed all the time. I think it started because we were so close in age. Chandler, though, he didn't always approve..."
Her voice trailed off when she realized what she had been about to say.
"Ah," Daniel said, gazing into her eyes, "you finally said his name."
"Whose name?"
Monica feigned ignorance; it didn't work.
"The one who never seems to be far from your thoughts."
"No, that's not true."
"Monica, I know I'm competing with someone, I just don't know if he's a former husband, lover or a ghost. Why don't you fill me in?"
She took a long swallow of her Chablis before speaking.
"Chandler is my former fiancé. If I seem a little out of it, it's because this was supposed to have been our honeymoon cruise. But I'm getting on with my life, Daniel, I am. Taking this cruise by myself was a big step. So, okay, I'm not exactly the life of the party, but I'm not hiding in my room either."
"No, you're not," he said, covering her hand with his own, "and I think that's great. I applaud the fact you decided to take this cruise. If you'll let me, I think I can make this a most pleasurable vacation for both of us."
Monica couldn't help but to react to Daniel's charming smile. She liked him. He was handsome, fun and didn't seem to take life too seriously. She needed someone like him to balance her dark moods and bring more light into her life. Would it be so wrong, she thought as guilt nipped at her conscience, to spend time with Daniel? If he was willing, knowing there was an ex-fiancé, shouldn't she be just as flexible? There was no way this would turn serious. He wanted to have a good time. So did she. What would be the harm?
"Penny for your thoughts."
Monica stirred and realized Daniel's mouth was mere inches from hers. Her first inclination was to back away, but instead, she found herself leaning in closer.
Their lips brushed together lightly. Monica hesitated for a moment and then allowed the kiss to deepen. Daniel pulled her closer and ran his fingers through her dark silky hair. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tried to lose herself in the moment. She couldn't do it. She couldn't let go completely. That thought made her tense. Daniel sensed she was no longer enjoying the kiss and ended it.
"You're not ready for this," he stated.
"I thought I was," she said. "But you're right, I'm not. I didn't mean to lead you on. I'm sorry."
"Hey, I'm not giving up that easily."
He flashed her a disarming smile. Monica felt as though she had to try to ease away from him. He deserved to be with someone who wasn't weighed down emotionally.
"I'm sure there are many woman on this cruise who would love to spend time with you."
"If there are, I haven't noticed. I'm very attracted to you, Monica, and believe it or not, I didn't come on this cruise looking to find a woman. I have a very stressful job, and I wanted a break from it and from the people who hound me almost twenty-four hours a day."
Despite her reservations about continuing to spend time with him, her curiosity about his career got the best of her.
"What kind of job do you have?"
"I work for an international hotel chain. I oversee the restaurant/catering division for most of the East Coast. We're currently reorganizing. It's been a nightmare."
"Wow. I'm sorry to hear it's not going well, but I think it's great we have something so wonderful in common."
"Do you work for a hotel?"
"No. I'm the head chef for a popular restaurant in Manhattan."
"That's great. Have you created your own menus?"
"I did when I first got the job."
"I think we finally found something to talk about that makes you happy. Was your transition to head chef a smooth one?"
"Actually, it wasn't. The employees didn't like me. I came into a bad situation, but it's gotten better. I'm doing something I love."
"Was the menu change successful?"
"Yes, it was."
"Congratulations on passing that hurdle. My staff is at odds over every little detail. It would be a relief if I could find someone like you to supervise the others. Then, maybe the reorganization could be finalized and we could move on to the implementation phase."
"There must be someone who could step up and take charge."
"Unfortunately, there isn't. They're all worried about their jobs and their positions within the organization. I can't say I blame them. Uncertainty abounds."
"Sounds like you need a third party, someone who can be objective about your goals, like an outside consultant."
"You're right. I'm on vacation, but there are some decisions I'm supposed to be making while I'm 'getting away from it all'. If I decide to hire someone to create our new menus, would you be interested in the position?"
Stunned, Monica didn't speak for a long moment.
"I-I'm not looking for a new job."
"I didn't think you were. But I can see the passion you have for your career. You seemed shocked that people can't agree on food choices."
"Well, it's exciting to plan a new menu. There's a lot that goes along with the new item choices. But I also enjoy cooking the meals I've chosen for the restaurant. I don't think I could give that up."
"You wouldn't have to. Once the menus are set, you would have first choice. Pick whichever hotel and location your heart desires. You would run the show. And, I should tell you, this offer is not necessarily limited to the United States. Do you have a favorite European city? We probably have a hotel restaurant that needs you."
Monica's smile dimmed. Daniel noticed the change immediately.
"I said the wrong thing, didn't I?"
"It's okay. Hearing the word 'Europe' reminded me of Chandler. We talked a lot about going to Paris, maybe for a year, once we had settled into married life. I thought it would be neat to study cooking there, and Chandler, he has a passion that he rarely allows himself to explore. We thought living in Paris might give us both an opportunity to enjoy our interests."
"From the little you've told me, it sounds like you two were planning a great future. How is it you ended up alone on your honeymoon cruise?"
Monica's eyes clouded. Daniel watched as she physically retreated from him. He knew he had asked too personal a question, had pushed Monica beyond her comfort zone.
"I'm sorry. It's none of my business, of course."
"I'd like to return to my room," she said. "It's been a long but nice day."
"Sure. I'll walk with you."
They fell into step but neither spoke as they headed for Monica's stateroom. When they reached her door, she smiled.
"I had a great time. Thank you."
"I know you're in turmoil, Monica. The last thing I want to do is to add pressure. I hope we can have fun tomorrow. I think you will love St. Thomas."
"It looks beautiful from the pictures I've seen."
"The island is spectacular, and it also has a bit of a mysterious feel to it. I think you will really enjoy it. I don't know why, but I have a feeling something memorable is going to happen to you in St. Thomas."
At Monica's quizzical expression, Daniel continued.
"Not something bad," he explained. "Just something...memorable."