Wednes-Day-Oh!!!!!

Rei: Er…welcome to Wednes-Day-Oh!!!!!

Chococat*: Why can't I introduce the story once in a while???
Rei: Uh…you can introduce Thurs-Day-Oh!!!!!

Chococat*: No! You don't deserve to have someone so special as me introducing Thurs-Day-Oh!!!!!

Rei: Fine, don't introduce anything

Chococat*: I'LL INTODUCE IT!!!

Rei: ^_^ Anyway, we intend to do Tues-Day-Oh (already done) through Mon-Day-Oh. We know it would make more sense to do Sun-Day-Oh first, but that's just your problem my little flapjack from the planet Moo-cow!

Chococat*: Am I a flapjack to?

Rei: I thought you were a mole named Joe.

Chococat*: Oh yeah!

Rei: Can we get started with the thingy already?
Chococat*: If you give me a dollar.

Rei: No! ::Starts it anyway.::

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Director: Yugi? Come out of the bathroom now.

Yugi: ::Cries.::

Director: What's wrong? Did the ceiling fan fall on your head again?

::Suddenly, a crash is heard from within the girls bathroom.::

Yugi: Owwwww!!!! Aw bloody hell!

Director: Where'd you learn that?

Yugi: ::Sniff:: Bakura…

Director: Well I'm going have a little talk with him. Imagine, teaching innocent little children such horrible language!

Yugi: I'm not little! ::Bursts into tears again.::

::Mai walks in.::

Mai: Is he out of there yet, I really have to pee!

Yugi: WAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Director: Apparently not.

Mai: ::Walks in, drags Yugi out from under the ceiling fan, drags him into the boys room, and goes back to the girls room.:: There. Now I can pee.

~~~~In the boys room~~~~

Jounouchi: Okay, Honda you have won the contest of who can pee the farthest! But can you spit the farthest?!

Honda: Damn right I can! ::Spits in Yugi's eye.::

Yugi: Stingy…

Jounouchi: ::Spits out the window.:: Haha! I have defeated you!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chococat*: We realize this is one of the most pointless scenes this fic will hold.

Rei: Well we don't know that yet. I bet we can get a lot more pointless!
Chococat*: Of course we can! For the almighty authors of the ceiling fans! And you cannot rock the mole like me!

Rei: Yeah! Don't even try to defeat her in rocking the mole!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Director: Bakura! Get in my office immediately!

Bakura: Do you mean this empty box of linguini?

Director: Yes! Get in, now!

Bakura: Hey, that's my box of pasta! And it used to hold linguini within! Where's my goddamn mother-fucking bloody shit-faced linguini!?!

Director: See this is what I wanted to talk to you about. You curse too much! There are innocent children working in this studio that aren't supposed to hear that kind of language!

Bakura: What? Innocent children? Where?

Director: Well little Yugi, for example, and that Mokuba kid, but he's not here now, so he doesn't count. Spines don't heal in a day you know.

Bakura: Yugi is one year younger then me.

Director: GASP! But that can't be true!

Bakura: I know, it was hard for me to believe to, when I found out. Anyway, so, have you seen my goddamn mother-fucking bloody shit-faced linguini anywhere? ::Smiles sweetly.::

Director: Just…don't curse so much anymore, okay?

Bakura: Okay, bastard!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Pegasus: I'm supposed to act how?

Director: Act sad. You know, with the not happy and the stuff?

Pegasus: But I'm wearing a hat! How can I not be happy?

Director: That's a good point. Well, just pretend, okay?

Pegasus: Okay! Then can I change my name to Smashed Pumpkin Monster and have people call me Horny Peggy?

Director: -_-;; I guess…Horny Peggy…okay…
Pegasus: YAY!

Director: Okay, lights, camera, action!

Pegasus: ::Tries to look sad, then bursts out laughing.:: I HAVE A HAT! I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER!

Director: Oh for god sakes! ::Snatches his beloved hat away from him.::

Pegasus: Nooooo! My hat! My beloved hat! Give it back! ::Bursts into tears, and crumples into a sad little ball of linguini.::

Director: Hey Bakura! I found your goddamn mother-fucking bloody shit-faced linguini!

::Yugi has been standing at the door.::

Yugi: Nice language…

Director: Nooooo! An innocent child has heard such terrible words from me! What will my mother think?

Yugi: No, its okay, really.

Director: ::Crumples into sad little ball of linguini.::

::Bakura comes in.:: Hey I found my goddamn mother-fucking bloody shit-faced linguini! ^_^

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Shizuka: Mr. Hector Director has turned into linguini, so I will be the director, until he turns back.

Jounouchi: Um…sister? Imoto-chan? Meimei? Please don't do this to me. If you love me at all, please don't be the director.
Shizuka: Like I said I'm the director! ^_^

Seto: Pegasus is linguini to. Who's going to be him?

Shizuka: That puppy. ::Points to a kitten who the cutest little skeleton ever!::

Jounouchi: Puppy! ::Hugs the cat, who scratches his eyes.::

::Suddenly, Bakura bursts in.::

Bakura: THIS…ISN'T…MY…LINGUINI!!!!!!!! I'LL KEEEEEELLLL YOU!!!!

All: o_O;;; Um….that's the director.

Bakura: ::Takes out a gun, and shoots the ceiling.:: RAWR!!!! I am primordial soup!

Jounouchi: ::Is talking into a walky-talky thingy.:: Code Orange! Code Orange! Bakura has gone insane again! Someone get him his linguini, fast!

Person on the walky-talky: That'll just make him angrier! We have to get the caffinated tranquilizer!

Jounouchi: But…but… ::Tears well up in his eyes.:: I like possums!

POTWT: That has something to do with what because what? ::Is confoozled.::

::Then by the powers that have been bestowed us by the fat fairy, (you know the one where you leave bits of your own fat under your pillow, and the fat fairy comes and gives you raw bacon?) Anyway, so by those afore-mentioned powers, Pegasus J. Crawford, and Mr. Hector Director leave the realm of linguini and enter the realm of humanity!!! Mwa ha ha ha!!!::

Pegasus: Wow, that was a pasta-y experience.

Bakura: I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!! ::Tries to shoot Pegasus, but misses.::

Pegasus: ::Starts crying.:: WAHHHHH! I wanna be linguini again, mommy!

Director: Why isn't anyone getting Bakura his tranquilizer?

Person who is no longer on the walky-talky: I've got it, I've got it! ::Jams it into Bakura's flesh.::

Bakura: I'll…kill…you…all…goodnight Grandpa…want…mango…Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…mango…zzzzzzzzzzzz…snore…zzzzzzzzzzzz….snore…zzzzzzz…

Jounouchi: Jeez…uh…::Picks up Bakura.:: I'm gonna go put him somewhere.

Bakura: Want milluk right now!!!! Zzzzz…snore… ::Starts thrashing.:: Nooooo! The snow! It's falling down upon me!!!!! Ahhhhhhh! Snore…noooo! Don't touch me with those fluffy bunnies! ::Calms down.:: Snore…zzzzzzz…zzzzzzz…mango…

All: -_-;

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Honda: Is the coast clear?

Jounouchi: I think so.

Honda: So, we go in, we take the mysterious package we go out, we look into the package, and partake of whatever is within.

Jounouchi: What if it's a bomb?

Honda: Who's gonna send Yugi a bomb?

Jounouchi: Someone who was scarred for life by his freakish eyes?

Honda: Hmm…good point. Think of it this way, if it is a bomb, we're saving Yugi's life!

Jounouchi: What about my life?

Honda: I don't care. That's why you're opening the package and I'm not.

Jounouchi: WHAT?!!!?

Honda: C'mon! ::The walk "stealthily" into Yugi's dressing room. Honda bangs into the wall, and Jounouchi trips on a book.::

Jounouchi: ::Speaking very loudly.:: What's he got a book for?

Honda: ::Speaking even louder.:: Shut up! Yugi's napping! And anyway, maybe he knows how to read, unlike some people! ::Glares at Jounouchi.::

Jounouchi: What? I know how to read!

Honda: Then how come it took you twelve minutes to read the first page of 'Spot'?

Jounouchi: ::Stands up and picks up the book and package.:: I can read! ::Reads the title.:: How To Beat Bedwetting…wow Yugi read weird stuff. Ah well. ::Chucks the book at Yugi's head.::

Yugi: …huh… ::Sort of wakes up.::

Honda: RUN! Shoves Jounouchi out the door.::

Yugi: My head hurts… ::Goes back to sleep.::

::Out in the hall::

Honda: Open it you moron!

Jounouchi: I'm tryin'! Theres to much string! It's confusing! ::Finally gets through string.:: Oh great, now theres tape! Whoever sent this must not want us to have stolen it!

Honda: Oh gimme that! ::Rips it apart.:: Cookies?

Jounouchi: Cookies! Yummy! Gimme some! ::Grabs a cookie and jams it in his mouth.:: Ooh…chocolate…

Honda: Who'd be sending Yugi cookies?

Jounouchi: ::Shrugs, and shovels more cookies into his mouth.:: Hey what's this piece of paper doing in here? Maybe it's a flat cookie. ::Is about it to eat it.::

Honda: No wait! ::Snatches the paper away, and read it.:: 'Yugi, I hope you enjoy these cookies I ordered someone else to make. I luv ya! From your mother.'

Jounouchi: Yugi has a mother? (It sounds more like Yuggy hassa mudda? Cos his mouth is filled with cookies.)

Honda: Apparently so.

Jounouchi: Lets go wake him up and bug him about it!

Honda: Yeah!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rebecca: My grandpa would never have given it away! You stole it!

Grandpa: I did? Wait...oh yeah! I did! Well now that I remember I did steal it, you cant have it!

Director: No...that's not what's supposed to happen!

::Out of nowhere, a large monkey falls on Grandpa's head, and crushes him.::

Rebecca: That's what you get for stealin' my Grandpa's card! ::Is holding a rope that the monkey was attached to.::

Grandpa: Owww...

Director: CUT!!! Someone call an ambulance! And get this monkey out of here!

Monkey: Ook?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Honda: Yugi! Wake up!

Yugi: Hmmm? ::Blinks::

Honda: Don't do that. Your eyes are scary.

Jounouchi: We took your cookies and they were good!

Yugi: What cookies?

Jounouchi: The ones your mommy sent you. ::Shovels more cookies into his mouth, then holds one out to Yugi.:: Want one?

Yugi: Um...sure...::Takes a cookie, and eats it.:: Hey these are good! ^_^ But I don't have a mom...so...that's kind of odd...

Honda: Course you do! This spoon is your mom! ::Holds up a fork.::

Jounouchi: Uh...Honda? That's a knife.

Yugi: I am surrounded by a cloud of dumbness. ::Puff of smoke appears around his head.::

Puff: Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb! Duh-duh-duh-dumb!

Yugi: Anyway, I have a mom, but I don't know her. She's probably not a spoon.

Jounouchi: Couldn't your grandpa tell you about her?

Yugi: Probably not. He forgets things a lot.

Puff: Ness ness ness ness ness ness! Neh-neh-neh-ness!

Honda: Well ask him! Then maybe you can get more cookies!
Yugi: Why'd you people steal my cookies anyway?

Jounouchi: Well we thought it was a bomb so...

Honda: We saved your life!

Yugi: Why would you think it was a bomb?

Jounouchi: It was ticking.

Yugi: Joe, that was probably your watch.

Jounouchi: MY WATCH IS A BOMB! ::Throws it out the window.::

Puff: Why isn't anyone paying attention to me!?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Seto: Yes mommy, I am eating my vegetables. No, Mokuba isn't, cos he's a bad boy, and I'm good. ::Smiles smugly.:: Yes, I have been changing my underwear every week. No, mommy, Mokuba doesn't. Uh huh...yeah...I love you to...no I cant come home and clean my room...

Anzu: Seto? Who're you talking to?

Seto: O.O;;; ::Is very embarrassed.:: No one! No one at all!

Anzu: You were talking to your mommy weren't you! That's so cute! I never talk to my mommy anymore. She said I shouldn't.

Seto: I wasn't talking to my mom! I hate my mom!

Mom on the other line: What did you say???

Seto: Nothing mommy! I love you!

Mom: Well that's not what your telling your girlfriend there!

Seto: She's not my girlfriend!!!

Mom: Well why the hell not? I guess your not good enough for her, are you?
Anzu: Of course he's not good enough for me, Mrs. Kaiba! ^_^

Mom: How'd she hear what I said?

Anzu: I pushed the speaker phone button!

Director: People, its time to work! Get off the phone!

Seto: Bye mama! I love you! Oh, bye the way, don't throw away my Barney doll okay?

Mom: Okay! And could you tell Mokuba to start changing his underwear?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yami Yugi: Duh, mister...uh...Director? Can I please have more lines? I'm supposed to show up more then this you know.

::Suddenly, a Charizard swoops in and bites his head off!::

Director: Not again!

::An Aerodactyl comes and bites it off again!::

Yami Yugi's Neck: AHHHHHHHH!!!!

YY's Head: AHHHHHHH!!!

Director: What the hell just happened here?

Rei: Take a wild guess who's idea this was!

Chococat*: Wasn't mine! ::Eating pancakes.::

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rei: Hmmm...for this should we use the name Weevil or Insector Haga? I kind of like Weevil better cos it sounds like Weasel...but Insector Haga is the Japanese...but that sounds creepy...ah well, lets go with Weevil!

::Mai is walking down the hall, and crashes into Weevil. Weevil's bow-tie comes off.::

Weevil: M-my...my bowtie...::Bursts into tears.:: MY BOWTIE!!!!

Mai: Jesus Christ, its just a bowtie! And its fine, see? ::Picks it up, very carefully so as not to be infected by the Weevil-ness.:: Here.

Weevil: You do not understand! I have sworn never to take it off ever since my father gave it to me before he died!

Mai: Why'd he give you a bow-tie?

Weevil: ::Sniff.:: He didn't remember I existed so he just gave me the first thing he found.

Mai: Um...okay...well...sorry...take the goddamn bow-tie.

Weevil: ::Takes it and cries more.:: I miss my daddy!

Mai: ::Sweatdrops.:: Okay...::Backs away into Yugi's dressing room. Yugi's not there, he's trying...again to get the scene where he's dead right. Mai takes an envelope out of her pocket and puts it on the table.::

Jounouchi: ::Bursts in.:: Where is my watch?

Mai: I don't know... ::Sweatdrops, and backs out of the room. Weevil is still crying outside.::

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tea Break:

Pegasus: Oh, Mr.Potatohead, oh what a beautiful day! Mr.Potatohead doesn't know that I have stolen all his stuff today!

Shizuka: It's not nice to steal from Mr. Potatohead. ::Dumps a cup of boiling hot tea on Pegasus's head.::

Pegasus: ::doesn't notice:: Oh, Mr.Potatohead, I don't like the way you smell! Mr.Potatohead doesn't like sandwiches with bacon and veal!

Shizuka: That doesn't rhyme! ::Bashes him on the head with a telephone pole.::

Pegasus: ::still doesn't notice:: Mista Poh-tah-toe Hay-ed! I wish-uh I could turn you into a guh-nome on the edge of a spoon! And Ai-uh don't like chee-kens!

Shizuka: That isn't even trying to rhyme! ::Hits him in the head with a car.::
Pegasus: ::Taking no notice of bleeding head.:: I love the smell of fried...::Loses consciousness from loss of blood.::

Shizuka: Oniichan! That man is scaring me!

Jounouchi: ::Attacks the unconscious Pegasus.:: Die you plastic pineapple!

Shizuka: My hero!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hector Director: Shizuka, Jounouchi. Its not good to attack Pegasus. I know he's crazy, and annoying. I myself, have sometimes been barely able to control my anger. But he is, according to Rei, the second best anime villain of all time. And so we must treat him with respect.

Jounouchi: But he's stupid!

Director: So are you! Do you want people to give you head injuries because of that?

Jounouchi: Yes!

Shizuka: Umm…Oniichan?

Jounouchi: I know you are but what am I?

Director: You're an effing moron!

Jounouchi: Where's my watch?

Shizuka: Oniichan, shut up, before you get us fired.

Jounouchi: Can I have a mango?

::Bakura stomps in.:: Bakura: Did I just hear someone asking for a mango?

Jounouchi: Um…yes?

Bakura: I'll kill you! ::Lunges at Jounouchi, but Shizuka pulls them apart.::

Shizuka: No! Don't hurt him! Let me do it instead! ::Begins pummeling her brother.::

Jounouchi: Owie…mommy…Zuzu hurt me! ::Cries.:: OWWWW!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

::Pegasus comes in with a BIG bandage on his head. He's singing about birds, for some reason.::

Pegasus: Mandrakes, mandrakes, mandrakes! Mandrakes, mandrakes, mandrakes! Gooses, gooses, gooses! Gooses, gooses, gooses!

Grammer Check: Excuse me, but the correct term for a plural goose would be geese, not gooses.

Pegasus: Why did you interrupt my duck song?

GC: Because you are singing it completely wrong.

Pegasus: That's how the song goes.

GC: Well, maybe that song should check its grammer. ::looks at Pegasus:: Hey, aren't you listening?!

Pegasus: Mandrakes, mandrakes, mandrakes! Goosie goosie gander eats Alexander!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

::Yugi goes into his dressing room to take another nap. He likes to sleep. If he's sleeping, his eyes are closed and everyone's happy. He used to sleep with his eyes open, which is probably why his mommy abandoned him in the first place. A wonder Grandpa didn't also abandon him. He find a piece of paper on the table as he gets into bed.:: (Everyone has a bed in their dressing room, because they mostly live there.)

Yugi: Hmm…what's this? ::He opens it. It says…::

            To my darling son;

            My name is Bin Laden, I look like Aladdin, and his monkey Abu, I look like him to.

            Actually that's not true. I'm not Bin Laden, and I don't look like a monkey or Price Ali (naked is he, Ali ah No Head.) Okay, okay, sorry, I couldn't resist. I'm kind of hyper right now. ^_^ Anyway, so I don't look like that guy. I actually look a lot like you. Because guess what? I'm your mommy! (I guess you probably figured that out by me calling you my son…but…yeah…

            So did you like my cookies? You better have liked my cookies! I forced that Dinosaur guy to make them! It was such hard work to come up with a good enough threat, but it all paid off in the end. I hope those morons CarShark and Joe didn't eat them all. (Honda and Jounouchi.)

            So, wanna know who I am? Let me guess; not really. Well to bad, I'm gonna tell you anyway. You know me. I'm your grandpa's daughter, but he probably doesn't remember me. Your probably wondering, are you gonna tell me your name or what? Well you know what? I don't feel like it! I'll tell you later! First, I'm going to tell you about why I abandoned you. I got pregnant when I was fourteen. I was at a party and couldn't see who anyone was, so I don't know who your dad is. All I know is he was crazy, and he wouldn't stop dancing, and singing this weird song. It went like this. "I'm Pegasus Jegasus J. Jawford Crawford!" So I don't know who it was. Sorry! ^_^ Then someone came along and shouted, "Play that funky music, white boy!!" Only that didn't happen. Let me guess, you want me stop telling all these gosh forsaken boots, I mean…lies.

            Well let me tell you something! Most of its true! You might not think any of its true, but some of it is! Anyway, so then 9 months later, I had you. You were the freakiest baby I'd ever seen! Your eyes were HUMOUNGOUS!!! They were bigger then your head! I was scared…and that part is true, mind you.

            I moved out of my house and with my aunt, cos my parents didn't like me anymore. They called a cheap slut and said I smelled terrible. Anyway, so I left, and I went to live with my aunt. She made me live in the truck! Eventually, she said I had to get rid of you, or I had to move out of the truck, cos you were scaring her to. You scared everyone! What with your big eyes, and Christmas tree hair! And you were small! Anyways, so I abandoned you on Shish Kabob Street. You cried a lot, and I eventually had to knock you unconscious so you would stop crying and I could leave.

            Apparently, my daddy found you when you were about four, and brought you to live with him. (Mommy was dead by then. So sad.) He wouldn't let me take you back, even though I had my own place then, and no one could kick me out for having a scary kid. Also I smelled like weasels.

            So now, I'll tell you my name, and I hope you can forgive me. If not, that's just your problem, cos I'm gonna make you.

            My name is Mai Valentine, and I am your mother.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rei: You like? You better!

Chococat*: Or we keeeell you!

Rei: Um…we should explain a few things. 1) We are aware that Seto does not have a mommy. But we can't have two motherless people running around or it wouldn't be interesting. Plus, he strikes me as a mama's boy. 2) We know Pegasus's name is not Pegasus Jegasus J. Jawford Crawford. Well now it is! MWA HA HA HA HA!!! 3) We probably forgot something.

Chococat*: Stay tuned for Thurs-Day-Oh!!!!