Chapter 11
Another nurse from ICU escorted a distraught Monica from the room.
"They're doing everything they can to try to revive him," she calmly explained.
A numb Monica leaned against the wall and nodded.
"And they will," she whispered. "They have to. He...he can't be...dead."
**
The four friends returned to Joey's apartment and held a vigil for Chandler. Phoebe made coffee. They sat around and recalled fond, funny, and cherished memories of their friend.
"I still have my 'best buds' bracelet," Joey said. "Chandler never did learn to like his, did he?"
The others shook their heads. "And yet he wore it," Ross said.
"Which proves what a great guy he wa...is," Joey quickly amended. He refused to talk as if Chandler were in the past tense because he knew he wasn't.
"Remember those Thanksgiving dinners at your parents' house?" Rachel said to Ross.
Ross chuckled. "Yeah. Poor Chandler. He always hate...I mean he hates Thanksgiving."
"I remember the first time Monica met him," Rachel said wistfully. "She liked him. A lot. Despite their rocky beginning when he called her fat and she accidentally cut off part of his toe, I think there's always been something special between them."
"You're right," Phoebe said, her heart suddenly feeling lighter. "And that's what's going to do it! I remember how excited Chandler was when he'd made the decision to propose to Monica. He found the perfect ring, and he said he could so see himself asking Monica to marry him. I've never seen him more content."
"I'd never seen my sister happier than when Chandler placed that ring on her finger. What happened between them? Why didn't they get married as planned?"
Rachel looked away. She had the strongest need to tell them what had happened, but she knew it wasn't her place. She remained quiet, reflecting back on the night she'd been with Monica when her unborn child had died, while the others continued to reminisce.
**Flashback - Mid-January 2001**
Monica and Rachel had been shopping when an onset of pain and cramping had scared Monica.
"Rachel, something's wrong with the baby. I've never had these kinds of pains."
"Do you want me to call your doctor?"
"Yes."
The doctor told Rachel to take Monica to the Emergency Room as a precaution. The pains were worse by the time Monica had been examined. Rachel stayed by her side and held her hand.
"I'm scared I'm going to lose the baby. I've been trying to figure out a way to talk to Chandler about the pregnancy. I'm not ready to let him go from my life, Rach. I can't believe this is the way we end."
"I'm glad you want to talk to him, Mon. I think you should. You're obviously not over him. You still wear your engagement ring. That tells me you still want this marriage to happen, despite everything."
Monica glanced down at the sparkling diamond and sapphire ring.
"I was so happy when he finally proposed. I thought we had made it through the worst. I thought we could work through anything that came our way. I never meant to push so hard, Rach. I never meant to push him away!"
"I know. That's what you need to tell Chandler. Talk to him, Mon. You have to."
An overwhelming pain hit Monica. The doctor continued working to stabilize her. Rachel looked at the doctor's face, and she knew.
"What's happening?!" Monica cried. "Why am I cramping? Why is there blood?"
When Monica woke up in the hospital bed with Rachel by her side, she knew. She no longer felt a life growing inside of her.
"I lost her, didn't I?" Monica asked Rachel, her voice low.
Rachel nodded sadly. "I'm so sorry, Mon. There was nothing they could do."
Monica turned on her side, away from Rachel. She couldn't face her friend at that moment. She wanted to be alone with her sorrow. She wanted to grieve.
"I'm so sorry, Chandler," she finally whispered. "I can't believe how badly I've messed things up."
**End of Flashback**
**
Monica wearily pushed herself away from the wall when she heard voices near the door to Chandler's room. She threw herself in front of the first person who exited.
"What happened? Is he...did he..."
"We managed to revive him," Emma said. "He's got a heartbeat."
"Oh, thank God!" Monica cried. "Can I...can I see him?"
"In a few minutes, once the others leave. I forgot to tell you earlier, but Dr. Mills dropped off a bag that was in Mr. Bing's cabin on the ship. He thought Mr. Bing might need some things. I'm going to bring it to you so you'll have it."
Monica watched the doctor and the other nurses leave with the crash cart. He'd survived. They'd managed to get his heart going again. She wanted to rejoice, but she knew he still had a long way to go and that anything could still happen.
Once everyone had left, she entered and returned to her spot near his bed. She gently stroked his hair and his cheek.
"You gave me such a scare. Please don't do that again."
Emma entered the room and placed the bag on a chair. Monica thanked her. After she had been standing for a while, Monica decided to pull the chair closer to his bed so she could sit. She bent down to place the bag on the floor when she noticed it was unzipped. Curious as to what the bag contained and hoping that no one had stolen anything, she began to rummage through it. Her heart lurched when her fingers touched a small box with soft velvet. She grabbed it and withdrew it from the bag. She would recognize that box anywhere. Slowly, she opened it and saw her engagement ring. Even after all this time, it still seemed to be winking at her.
"Chandler," she said, moving back to the side of his bed, "You...you...you brought my ring with you on the cruise? Is that why you came? Is it possible? You...you wanted to propose to me again? I can't believe I never asked you why you had come! I was so caught up in why I didn't want you to be there, that I never stopped to think what would have made you come on the ship! I've been in such a negative place these past four months, that it never occurred to me that you might have had a positive reason for being there."
Monica continued gazing at the ring, her mind filled with thoughts and memories and what ifs. Had Chandler come on the boat to try to reconcile? If she'd told him everything, would he still have wanted to?
"There's still time for us, Chandler," she said, with renewed hope and urgency. "I mean, we haven't even gone to Paris yet!"
Through the next anxious hours, Monica touched him more than she talked to him. She wanted him to feel her presence. She wanted him to know, without a doubt, that she was there for him and that she had no plans to leave.
Early morning light began to creep into the room. Monica sat uncomfortably on the chair, nodding off while listening to the nurses check on Chandler every twenty minutes. So far, his heartbeat had remained steady. She felt herself falling into a deep sleep when she heard her name quietly being called.
Her eyes flew open. She sat upright and looked around. Had she been dreaming? Had one of the nurses or a doctor called her name? And then she heard it again.
"Monica."
She turned to where the sound had come from, and then she did rejoice. A huge smile spread across her face as tears filled her eyes.
"Chandler," she said, rising from the chair to lean against the metal railing. "You opened your eyes. Sweetheart, you came back to me!"
"I had to," he said, his voice weak and raspy. His eyes tried to focus on Monica's lovely face. "Because I just got back from spending time with a beautiful angel."
TBC
Another nurse from ICU escorted a distraught Monica from the room.
"They're doing everything they can to try to revive him," she calmly explained.
A numb Monica leaned against the wall and nodded.
"And they will," she whispered. "They have to. He...he can't be...dead."
**
The four friends returned to Joey's apartment and held a vigil for Chandler. Phoebe made coffee. They sat around and recalled fond, funny, and cherished memories of their friend.
"I still have my 'best buds' bracelet," Joey said. "Chandler never did learn to like his, did he?"
The others shook their heads. "And yet he wore it," Ross said.
"Which proves what a great guy he wa...is," Joey quickly amended. He refused to talk as if Chandler were in the past tense because he knew he wasn't.
"Remember those Thanksgiving dinners at your parents' house?" Rachel said to Ross.
Ross chuckled. "Yeah. Poor Chandler. He always hate...I mean he hates Thanksgiving."
"I remember the first time Monica met him," Rachel said wistfully. "She liked him. A lot. Despite their rocky beginning when he called her fat and she accidentally cut off part of his toe, I think there's always been something special between them."
"You're right," Phoebe said, her heart suddenly feeling lighter. "And that's what's going to do it! I remember how excited Chandler was when he'd made the decision to propose to Monica. He found the perfect ring, and he said he could so see himself asking Monica to marry him. I've never seen him more content."
"I'd never seen my sister happier than when Chandler placed that ring on her finger. What happened between them? Why didn't they get married as planned?"
Rachel looked away. She had the strongest need to tell them what had happened, but she knew it wasn't her place. She remained quiet, reflecting back on the night she'd been with Monica when her unborn child had died, while the others continued to reminisce.
**Flashback - Mid-January 2001**
Monica and Rachel had been shopping when an onset of pain and cramping had scared Monica.
"Rachel, something's wrong with the baby. I've never had these kinds of pains."
"Do you want me to call your doctor?"
"Yes."
The doctor told Rachel to take Monica to the Emergency Room as a precaution. The pains were worse by the time Monica had been examined. Rachel stayed by her side and held her hand.
"I'm scared I'm going to lose the baby. I've been trying to figure out a way to talk to Chandler about the pregnancy. I'm not ready to let him go from my life, Rach. I can't believe this is the way we end."
"I'm glad you want to talk to him, Mon. I think you should. You're obviously not over him. You still wear your engagement ring. That tells me you still want this marriage to happen, despite everything."
Monica glanced down at the sparkling diamond and sapphire ring.
"I was so happy when he finally proposed. I thought we had made it through the worst. I thought we could work through anything that came our way. I never meant to push so hard, Rach. I never meant to push him away!"
"I know. That's what you need to tell Chandler. Talk to him, Mon. You have to."
An overwhelming pain hit Monica. The doctor continued working to stabilize her. Rachel looked at the doctor's face, and she knew.
"What's happening?!" Monica cried. "Why am I cramping? Why is there blood?"
When Monica woke up in the hospital bed with Rachel by her side, she knew. She no longer felt a life growing inside of her.
"I lost her, didn't I?" Monica asked Rachel, her voice low.
Rachel nodded sadly. "I'm so sorry, Mon. There was nothing they could do."
Monica turned on her side, away from Rachel. She couldn't face her friend at that moment. She wanted to be alone with her sorrow. She wanted to grieve.
"I'm so sorry, Chandler," she finally whispered. "I can't believe how badly I've messed things up."
**End of Flashback**
**
Monica wearily pushed herself away from the wall when she heard voices near the door to Chandler's room. She threw herself in front of the first person who exited.
"What happened? Is he...did he..."
"We managed to revive him," Emma said. "He's got a heartbeat."
"Oh, thank God!" Monica cried. "Can I...can I see him?"
"In a few minutes, once the others leave. I forgot to tell you earlier, but Dr. Mills dropped off a bag that was in Mr. Bing's cabin on the ship. He thought Mr. Bing might need some things. I'm going to bring it to you so you'll have it."
Monica watched the doctor and the other nurses leave with the crash cart. He'd survived. They'd managed to get his heart going again. She wanted to rejoice, but she knew he still had a long way to go and that anything could still happen.
Once everyone had left, she entered and returned to her spot near his bed. She gently stroked his hair and his cheek.
"You gave me such a scare. Please don't do that again."
Emma entered the room and placed the bag on a chair. Monica thanked her. After she had been standing for a while, Monica decided to pull the chair closer to his bed so she could sit. She bent down to place the bag on the floor when she noticed it was unzipped. Curious as to what the bag contained and hoping that no one had stolen anything, she began to rummage through it. Her heart lurched when her fingers touched a small box with soft velvet. She grabbed it and withdrew it from the bag. She would recognize that box anywhere. Slowly, she opened it and saw her engagement ring. Even after all this time, it still seemed to be winking at her.
"Chandler," she said, moving back to the side of his bed, "You...you...you brought my ring with you on the cruise? Is that why you came? Is it possible? You...you wanted to propose to me again? I can't believe I never asked you why you had come! I was so caught up in why I didn't want you to be there, that I never stopped to think what would have made you come on the ship! I've been in such a negative place these past four months, that it never occurred to me that you might have had a positive reason for being there."
Monica continued gazing at the ring, her mind filled with thoughts and memories and what ifs. Had Chandler come on the boat to try to reconcile? If she'd told him everything, would he still have wanted to?
"There's still time for us, Chandler," she said, with renewed hope and urgency. "I mean, we haven't even gone to Paris yet!"
Through the next anxious hours, Monica touched him more than she talked to him. She wanted him to feel her presence. She wanted him to know, without a doubt, that she was there for him and that she had no plans to leave.
Early morning light began to creep into the room. Monica sat uncomfortably on the chair, nodding off while listening to the nurses check on Chandler every twenty minutes. So far, his heartbeat had remained steady. She felt herself falling into a deep sleep when she heard her name quietly being called.
Her eyes flew open. She sat upright and looked around. Had she been dreaming? Had one of the nurses or a doctor called her name? And then she heard it again.
"Monica."
She turned to where the sound had come from, and then she did rejoice. A huge smile spread across her face as tears filled her eyes.
"Chandler," she said, rising from the chair to lean against the metal railing. "You opened your eyes. Sweetheart, you came back to me!"
"I had to," he said, his voice weak and raspy. His eyes tried to focus on Monica's lovely face. "Because I just got back from spending time with a beautiful angel."
TBC