Chapter 12
"Look at you!" Monica said, walking into Chandler's hospital room and making her way to his bedside.
Seeing her thousand-watt smile made him smile.
"Well, I would," he quipped, glancing around the room, "but I don't seem to have a mirror."
Monica groaned and shook her head. But she was still smiling.
"Not good?" he questioned and grinned.
"At least you're trying," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "And you look so much better than when I left you last night."
"My fever broke," he said, shuddering at the memory. "It was bad. I never knew I could be so sick. I'll never take good health for granted again."
"I wish I'd been here to help you," Monica said, clasping his hand in hers.
"I'm thankful you weren't. The nurse finally gave me something to put me out of my misery."
"When did they move you out of ICU?"
"Early this morning. The nurse checked my temperature at like 5:00 a.m. It was normal, so she said I had to leave. But this room is nice, don't you think?" he asked and smiled. "I miss having my own private nurse, but other than that, it's okay."
Monica laughed.
"They're talking about releasing me anyway. Maybe tomorrow or the day after."
"Wow, Chandler, now that is great news!"
"I think so, too. I can't wait to get home."
Home. Monica liked the sound of that, even though she wasn't certain he meant the apartment they had once shared. It had been four days since he'd come out of the coma, but he'd been sick from the infection and weak from his surgery, so he and Monica had agreed not to talk about their relationship until Chandler was feeling better. For now, it was enough that they were together.
"Did the doctor say when you could travel?"
"He thought by early next week I would be able to tolerate it."
"That's excellent. You know our friends can't wait to see you."
Monica had called Rachel once she knew that Chandler had made it through the worst. They were all relieved and ecstatic to hear the great news. Joey looked heavenward, grinned, gave two thumbs up and thanked the Big Guy.
"I'm anxious to see them, too. But what I really want to do is talk about us."
"Okay," Monica said. "Let's talk."
"Can you please tell me why you went on that cruise and why you were with Blondie man?"
Monica chuckled. "Is that what you called him?"
"Well, we never did get properly introduced."
"I know, " Monica said, gently squeezing his hand. "I have something very important I need to tell you, sweetie, and it's something I should've told you a long time ago. When things started to go bad between us, I found out I was pregnant. I'm so sorry I never told you, Chandler. I should have. It's one of the biggest regrets I have. I didn't trust you. I didn't believe strongly enough in us. I'm sooo sorry."
"You tried to tell me, Monica. Many times. But I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't ready for the life-changing news, and I was terrified of what I would do once you did tell me. So, I avoided. I avoided everything. I got drunk on purpose many nights after work because I knew you wouldn't tell me in my inebriated state. And, in my warped mind, I thought if I didn't know for sure, then it wouldn't be true and I wouldn't have to deal with the reality. I left for work early to avoid, too. I even started screening my calls. I didn't know what to do if you told me you were pregnant. And yet, in my heart, I knew you were carrying my child. I felt it, but I couldn't bring myself to ask, and I couldn't let you confirm it. For that and so many other things, I'm sorry, Monica. You deserved someone much braver and much smarter than me. I took the coward's way out. And I'm very ashamed that I did."
"We both made some pretty dumb mistakes."
"Yeah, but I should've been there for you when you needed me, and I wasn't. I'm so sorry, Mon. I can't believe I was nowhere near you when you lost our baby. Tell me about it, please. I want, no I need, to know what happened."
"Rachel was with me. She'd talked me into going shopping with her. She was tired of seeing me mope. I hadn't been feeling great, but I didn't want anyone to know. You know, I thought I could do it all on my own. That I didn't need anyone's help. Chandler, that's so far from the truth, it scares me. I was terrified when the pain hit. I knew something was wrong. We went to the Emergency Room, but the doctor, he...he couldn't save her. Our little girl, Chandler. She died. And it was all my fault. I'm so sorry!"
"Monica, sweetheart, don't. Don't do this to yourself. Come here."
Chandler wrapped his arms around Monica as she placed her head on his shoulder, careful not to put any pressure on his midsection. He held her as tightly as he could without causing himself any further discomfort.
"I need to tell you something," he said, kissing the top of her head as he threaded his fingers through her hair.
"What?" she asked and sniffled.
"Our precious baby is an angel in heaven. I saw her, Monica. I was with her. I know you looked at me strangely when I said I'd spent time with an angel, but it's the truth. I don't understand it myself, but I believe what I saw. I was hovering between life and death. I wanted death, Monica. I was in so much pain. And then suddenly, a peaceful feeling came over me. I wanted more of that. I wanted to go where it was leading me. But then I heard your lovely voice. I heard you telling me things I knew I needed to hear. I strained to understand what you were telling me, but I was also being pulled away. I didn't know what to do. I could feel the struggle. I know I'm not explaining this very well. But, then, I saw her. And, somehow, I knew who she was. I knew she belonged to us. And I knew she was an angel. She sent me back, Monica. She spent time with me and ministered to me, even though I don't understand it, and then it was like she made the decision for me. She brought me back to you."
"I'm so glad she did," Monica said, through her tears. "I was so not ready to lose you, Chandler. When you flatlined, my heart stopped, too. I knew I would not be able to go on without you. I couldn't believe there were so many unresolved issues between us. But the most important one was that I wanted you to know that I love you and that I'd never stopped loving you and that I never will stop loving you."
"Yes," Chandler said, hugging Monica close, despite his sore stomach, "that's exactly what I wanted to tell you, too. I'm willing, Monica, hey, I'm more than willing to work on our issues as long as we do it together, not apart."
"I want that, too," Monica said, looking up into the gorgeous blue eyes of the man she loved. "We've wasted so much time. We can't afford to waste any more."
"I could not agree more."
He opened the drawer to the table next to him and withdrew the ring box. Fresh tears filled Monica's eyes when she saw it.
"I know it's not romantic and I can't get down on one knee, but Monica, I would be the happiest man alive, emphasis on 'alive' by the way, if you would allow me the pleasure of placing this ring on your finger. Monica Geller, will you please, please marry me?"
"Yes," Monica said, crying tears of joy and happiness. "I will marry you, Chandler. And this time, we're going to do it right!"
He slid the ring onto her trembling finger, and then they shared a kiss that told them just how much they'd been longing and hungering for each other.
"I love you so much," Chandler said, his forehead pressed against Monica's.
"I love you, too. I can't wait to make love to you. I bet your scar will be sooo sexy."
"Oh yeah," Chandler said, nodding. "Most people go to the Caribbean for the sun, fun and tropical drinks. Not me. I go right for the infection and then the gall bladder surgery. Hey, think of the great stories we'll have to tell our children."
Monica gazed at him and beamed. "You've decided you're ready to have kids?"
"Yes, I am. I want a full life with you, Monica. I almost died not having experienced any of it. Now, I want it all."
"When do you think we might start trying?"
"If everything's okay with you, I'm thinking our honeymoon would work. As long as we're not on a cruise."
Monica's laugh conveyed her happiness. "No cruises. You're right. Well, how about this? Mr. Blondie man left me a note and two tickets to Paris in my hotel room. He said he thought you and I would enjoy them."
"Blondie man did that? How very generous of him. We'll have to send him a thank you note."
"His name is Daniel, by the way."
"Daniel, Blondie. It all sounds the same to me."
Monica laughed. She could not be happier.
"I have something else I need to tell you.," Chandler said.
"I want to hear it."
"Since I've been lying in this hospital, I've decided to seriously pursue my writing. Even if it's just to write stories for our children."
"Chandler, that's wonderful! I love that idea. What's the first story you want to write?"
Chandler thought for a moment and then smiled. "This one. I think I'll call it 'The One With The Caribbean Cruise."
"I love you," Monica said, right before he silenced her with another passionate kiss.
The "Epilogue" will be coming soon! :)
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this chapter and all the others!! It means so much to me!! :)
"Look at you!" Monica said, walking into Chandler's hospital room and making her way to his bedside.
Seeing her thousand-watt smile made him smile.
"Well, I would," he quipped, glancing around the room, "but I don't seem to have a mirror."
Monica groaned and shook her head. But she was still smiling.
"Not good?" he questioned and grinned.
"At least you're trying," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "And you look so much better than when I left you last night."
"My fever broke," he said, shuddering at the memory. "It was bad. I never knew I could be so sick. I'll never take good health for granted again."
"I wish I'd been here to help you," Monica said, clasping his hand in hers.
"I'm thankful you weren't. The nurse finally gave me something to put me out of my misery."
"When did they move you out of ICU?"
"Early this morning. The nurse checked my temperature at like 5:00 a.m. It was normal, so she said I had to leave. But this room is nice, don't you think?" he asked and smiled. "I miss having my own private nurse, but other than that, it's okay."
Monica laughed.
"They're talking about releasing me anyway. Maybe tomorrow or the day after."
"Wow, Chandler, now that is great news!"
"I think so, too. I can't wait to get home."
Home. Monica liked the sound of that, even though she wasn't certain he meant the apartment they had once shared. It had been four days since he'd come out of the coma, but he'd been sick from the infection and weak from his surgery, so he and Monica had agreed not to talk about their relationship until Chandler was feeling better. For now, it was enough that they were together.
"Did the doctor say when you could travel?"
"He thought by early next week I would be able to tolerate it."
"That's excellent. You know our friends can't wait to see you."
Monica had called Rachel once she knew that Chandler had made it through the worst. They were all relieved and ecstatic to hear the great news. Joey looked heavenward, grinned, gave two thumbs up and thanked the Big Guy.
"I'm anxious to see them, too. But what I really want to do is talk about us."
"Okay," Monica said. "Let's talk."
"Can you please tell me why you went on that cruise and why you were with Blondie man?"
Monica chuckled. "Is that what you called him?"
"Well, we never did get properly introduced."
"I know, " Monica said, gently squeezing his hand. "I have something very important I need to tell you, sweetie, and it's something I should've told you a long time ago. When things started to go bad between us, I found out I was pregnant. I'm so sorry I never told you, Chandler. I should have. It's one of the biggest regrets I have. I didn't trust you. I didn't believe strongly enough in us. I'm sooo sorry."
"You tried to tell me, Monica. Many times. But I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't ready for the life-changing news, and I was terrified of what I would do once you did tell me. So, I avoided. I avoided everything. I got drunk on purpose many nights after work because I knew you wouldn't tell me in my inebriated state. And, in my warped mind, I thought if I didn't know for sure, then it wouldn't be true and I wouldn't have to deal with the reality. I left for work early to avoid, too. I even started screening my calls. I didn't know what to do if you told me you were pregnant. And yet, in my heart, I knew you were carrying my child. I felt it, but I couldn't bring myself to ask, and I couldn't let you confirm it. For that and so many other things, I'm sorry, Monica. You deserved someone much braver and much smarter than me. I took the coward's way out. And I'm very ashamed that I did."
"We both made some pretty dumb mistakes."
"Yeah, but I should've been there for you when you needed me, and I wasn't. I'm so sorry, Mon. I can't believe I was nowhere near you when you lost our baby. Tell me about it, please. I want, no I need, to know what happened."
"Rachel was with me. She'd talked me into going shopping with her. She was tired of seeing me mope. I hadn't been feeling great, but I didn't want anyone to know. You know, I thought I could do it all on my own. That I didn't need anyone's help. Chandler, that's so far from the truth, it scares me. I was terrified when the pain hit. I knew something was wrong. We went to the Emergency Room, but the doctor, he...he couldn't save her. Our little girl, Chandler. She died. And it was all my fault. I'm so sorry!"
"Monica, sweetheart, don't. Don't do this to yourself. Come here."
Chandler wrapped his arms around Monica as she placed her head on his shoulder, careful not to put any pressure on his midsection. He held her as tightly as he could without causing himself any further discomfort.
"I need to tell you something," he said, kissing the top of her head as he threaded his fingers through her hair.
"What?" she asked and sniffled.
"Our precious baby is an angel in heaven. I saw her, Monica. I was with her. I know you looked at me strangely when I said I'd spent time with an angel, but it's the truth. I don't understand it myself, but I believe what I saw. I was hovering between life and death. I wanted death, Monica. I was in so much pain. And then suddenly, a peaceful feeling came over me. I wanted more of that. I wanted to go where it was leading me. But then I heard your lovely voice. I heard you telling me things I knew I needed to hear. I strained to understand what you were telling me, but I was also being pulled away. I didn't know what to do. I could feel the struggle. I know I'm not explaining this very well. But, then, I saw her. And, somehow, I knew who she was. I knew she belonged to us. And I knew she was an angel. She sent me back, Monica. She spent time with me and ministered to me, even though I don't understand it, and then it was like she made the decision for me. She brought me back to you."
"I'm so glad she did," Monica said, through her tears. "I was so not ready to lose you, Chandler. When you flatlined, my heart stopped, too. I knew I would not be able to go on without you. I couldn't believe there were so many unresolved issues between us. But the most important one was that I wanted you to know that I love you and that I'd never stopped loving you and that I never will stop loving you."
"Yes," Chandler said, hugging Monica close, despite his sore stomach, "that's exactly what I wanted to tell you, too. I'm willing, Monica, hey, I'm more than willing to work on our issues as long as we do it together, not apart."
"I want that, too," Monica said, looking up into the gorgeous blue eyes of the man she loved. "We've wasted so much time. We can't afford to waste any more."
"I could not agree more."
He opened the drawer to the table next to him and withdrew the ring box. Fresh tears filled Monica's eyes when she saw it.
"I know it's not romantic and I can't get down on one knee, but Monica, I would be the happiest man alive, emphasis on 'alive' by the way, if you would allow me the pleasure of placing this ring on your finger. Monica Geller, will you please, please marry me?"
"Yes," Monica said, crying tears of joy and happiness. "I will marry you, Chandler. And this time, we're going to do it right!"
He slid the ring onto her trembling finger, and then they shared a kiss that told them just how much they'd been longing and hungering for each other.
"I love you so much," Chandler said, his forehead pressed against Monica's.
"I love you, too. I can't wait to make love to you. I bet your scar will be sooo sexy."
"Oh yeah," Chandler said, nodding. "Most people go to the Caribbean for the sun, fun and tropical drinks. Not me. I go right for the infection and then the gall bladder surgery. Hey, think of the great stories we'll have to tell our children."
Monica gazed at him and beamed. "You've decided you're ready to have kids?"
"Yes, I am. I want a full life with you, Monica. I almost died not having experienced any of it. Now, I want it all."
"When do you think we might start trying?"
"If everything's okay with you, I'm thinking our honeymoon would work. As long as we're not on a cruise."
Monica's laugh conveyed her happiness. "No cruises. You're right. Well, how about this? Mr. Blondie man left me a note and two tickets to Paris in my hotel room. He said he thought you and I would enjoy them."
"Blondie man did that? How very generous of him. We'll have to send him a thank you note."
"His name is Daniel, by the way."
"Daniel, Blondie. It all sounds the same to me."
Monica laughed. She could not be happier.
"I have something else I need to tell you.," Chandler said.
"I want to hear it."
"Since I've been lying in this hospital, I've decided to seriously pursue my writing. Even if it's just to write stories for our children."
"Chandler, that's wonderful! I love that idea. What's the first story you want to write?"
Chandler thought for a moment and then smiled. "This one. I think I'll call it 'The One With The Caribbean Cruise."
"I love you," Monica said, right before he silenced her with another passionate kiss.
The "Epilogue" will be coming soon! :)
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this chapter and all the others!! It means so much to me!! :)