Just a quick word to IcyDragontears, fuck you, you stupid demented pigeon screwer. I hate Téa's guts, so I made a fic on it. It is my choice, and if you are so pathetic as to flame, you deserve to rot in hell like the rest of the time wasting imbeciles of this world.

Bakura: I'm not gay in this am I?

Author: you weren't gay in the last one; you're just seriously demented.

Joey: he's not going to torment me all through this is he?

Author: who would you rather, Tea or Bakura?

Joey: BAKURA!

Author: that's what I thought.

Chapter two: no escape

Yami woke up in hospital the following day.

"Awwwwww. My head." Yugi was standing right by him.

"Sorry about that, it's partly our fault 'cause we left you out in the firing line 'n all…"

"It was the only way to stop Tea coming after us." Bakura said from behind.

"Yeah well thanks to you, I had to jump out the window!"

"You could have just punched her and ran." Said Bakura.

"HI!" a revoltingly chipper voice said behind them. Tea.

"Oh no." Yami whispered.

"How's my favourite hospital patient today?"

"Hey look Yami, a window." Taunted Bakura.

"We'll leave you two alone." Said yugi, walking away with Bakura following suit.

"I thought you were supposed to be my light! You know, nice to me!!!!"

"BYE-BYE! See you soon!" he said and started walking faster. Yami tried to get up, but a nurse came over and said

"Hey! You can't get up yet! I'll leave it up to your friend here to see that you stay in bed." And walked away. It was like signing Yami's death permit. Yami spent countless hours of listening to Tea jabbering about friendship, families, occasionally hinting about wanting to start one herself one day. Every time this happened, Yami felt like throwing up.

Meanwhile:

Yugi and bakura didn't stop walking until they were out of the hospital.

"O.k. I think that's enough distance between us Tea." Bakura said cheerfully, "Ha! Pharaoh boy's got it coming to him now! Hey, wanna stay and see if he does throw himself out the window?" yugi was feeling a bit sorry for Yami and didn't answer.

"Oh come on lighten up! If you don't make yourself, I'll make you!" This snapped yugi back into reality. He knew just how Bakura got people to 'lighten up' and he didn't want to go through it. So he forgot all the guilt of Yami as best he could and put on his heart melting happy face.

"I'm fine! Yami will be out in a couple of days, so until then, at least we won't have to put up with Tea. She'll be too wrapped up in making Yami's life a living hell!"

"That's better!" Bakura said, leading Yugi to his house, where Ryou and Joey were waiting to hear what had happened.

At the hospital:

"So as I was saying, I went to see all the babies and it just made me want to have one myself," Tea cast a meaningful glance at Yami, which made him shudder. "And my friends will always be there to help me, so I would be fine!"

I can't believe a. she managed to put her friends crap and her family crap all into one nauseating sentence and b. she thinks she has friends Yami thought sadly. Where's yugi?

At Ryou/Bakura's house:

Yugi and bakura arrived shortly after at the house. Ryou went to answer the door. Bakura shoved past him and into the living room.

"Sorry about that." Yugi said.

"Why are you apologizing?" Ryou asked from his spot on the floor.

"I dunno, it just seemed the right thing to do." Yugi said, helping Ryou off the floor. They went into the living room where Bakura was chasing Joey around the sofa yelling "I LOVE YOU!!!"

"Oh that's why he was in such a hurry! He wanted to annoy someone!" Ryou said.

"Why didn't he annoy me?" Yugi asked. Ryou pretended not to hear this. He knew the answer, but was on a death threat not to tell anything living. Yugi and Ryou sat down on the sofa (Bakura still chasing Joey around it) and Yugi told Ryou about what had happened at the hospital.

"He's got a headache, but he'll be fine. I was just apologizing about locking him out, when Tea came in. so Bakura and I just left him to it."

"You know he'll be really angry." Bakura stopped running and sat in the middle of Yugi and Ryou.

"Do you mind, we're talking!" Ryou snapped

"I wouldn't use that tone of voice to me weakling! Now get me a coke!" (Bakura isn't being mean; he's just showing off) When Ryou had left the room, Bakura turned to talk to Yugi, only to find that he was gone. He growled "Damn you Ryou, you always get the sympathy vote!" Yugi followed Yugi to get away form Bakura.

"You know, you shouldn't let him boss you around like that."

"Yeah, but I do. Anyway, what are you going to do about Tea? She's just going to follow Yami wherever he goes, which means she'll bug you, which means she'll bug me, which means she'll bug Bakura, which means He'll bug everyone!" Ryou gasped for air. Yugi couldn't help but laugh at this.

"Yeah." Yugi said, finding it hard to breath through the continuous laughter that escaped him. "But… I've come… up with… plan…" Yugi took a small piece of paper from his pocket. He unfolded it and started reading.

"Right, next week on Monday, Tea goes to her grandmother's house, I know because she keeps me posted on everything she does." Yugi rolled his eyes and made a sicky noise "So what we have to do by then, is get tickets to some exotic location, and go on the day that the unbearable one goes to her Nan's."

"Where do you think I'll get the money to afford two tickets to… um…"

"Hawaii."

"HAWAII! There's no way that we'll be able to afford that!"

"Well that's where Kaiba comes in. he'll be glad to see the back of us, so he's giving us the money."

"How do you know?"

"I phoned him this morning and asked. He said 'anything to see you and all your loser friends go' I collecting the money tomorrow." Ryou was almost dancing with joy at this.

"We're finally getting rid of Raos!"

"Raos? What's Raos?" asked Yugi.

"Oh." Ryou blushed. "That's my name for Tea. It stands for 'REALLY ANNOYING and OUSTANDINGLY SMELLY'"

Yugi doubled over laughing. Managing to utter, "That's so funny!" Ryou blushed even more and looked really upset. Yugi stopped laughing.

"Oh don't worry. It's clever. It's just also the sort of thing that sends me into fits of laughter!" And Yugi started again. This time it didn't offend Ryou, so he just sat on the kitchen chair, smiling as Yugi rolled around on the floor laughing his head off.

Meanwhile:

Bakura had seen all of this, but heard none of it, and when he saw Yugi rolling around on the floor because of whatever Ryou had said, it sent a wave of jealousy through him. I never get Yugi to laugh like that. He thought.

Author: Well there's number two! Did you like it?

Yami: WHY AM I STUCK WITH TEA!!!!!!!!

Joey: I'm sick of Bakura!

Seto: I don't hate Yugi that much.

Author: Where did you come from? Oh well… anyway, read and review- thanks