PEOPLE'S COURT
Main Characters: (Will change chapter to chapter)
-Kevin Kelly (His role hasn't changed since the second chapter, referred to as "K.K.")
-The Rock (PAIN IN THE ASS…same role as usual..)
-Azrael (Fellow Author/Helps in War)
-Lil' Spike Dudley (my fiancée)
-Eki (aka Jamal)
-Matt (aka Rosie)
-Christian (Whiny tantrum thrower)
-Rob Van Dam (Attacker)
-Bubba Ray Dudley (Dani's fiancée)
-Stephen Murray (BMXer, winner of this years gravity games)
-Cory "Nasty" Nastazio (BMXer, sexy beast, Steve's roommate according to the people who commentate the X-games)
-Scott Hall, Raven, Veronica, Big Sexy Kevin Nash [referred to as Kevin] (Racers)
-Undertaker (…the phenom.. Need I say more?)
Disclaimer: Nothing has changed. I don't own shit and proud of it! But, I must remind you that Author is not responsible for moronic activity (i.e. jumping off cliffs) and/or causing of insanity. Prepare for Randomity.
Setting: Ok, so its not really current. Shoot me. Actually, please don't. Sorry it took so long for me to get this up! Hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner! Um, Raven makes a somewhat Anti-Taker speech, but I love Taker it just happened to fit that he was going to get the wrath of Raven. So, SORRY TAKER!!
Author: I'm too depressed to write a funny chapter thing. (A/N: Actually, I'm just stupid)
Azrael: Did we lose the unknown war between Pluto and Mars?
Author: Um.. How'd you know about that?
Azrael: ……….
Author: Well?
Azrael: You told me.
Author: Oh yea. I forgot. Anyway, we helped them negotiate. Wait, you were there.
Azrael: Nope, I left early to go wok on Amazing Race.
Author: Really?
Azrael: Yup. If they negotiated then what's the problem?
Author: Then what's the problem? A great injustice has occurred.
Azrael: Triple H and Bischoff banned together and tried to takeover Smackdown!?
Author: Worse.
Azrael: Triple H got his own show?
Author: He already has his own show, it's called RAW. This injustice has nothing to do with WWE, but a great injustice has occurred and it saddens me. The worst part however, is that occurred in this courtroom. (The Rock enters)
Rock: You cannot overturn what the Rock has previously decided!
Kevin: I didn't know you knew such big words.
Author: Rock, if I wanted to, I could overturn ANYTHING. However, I just don't care.
Kevin: Nice of you to join us this time Author. (LSD enters)
Spike: Hey Leah. Are you ready to go?
Author: I'm sorry, but I can't go.
Spike: But, Dani and Bubba are getting married tomorrow.
Author: Hopefully Dani and Bubba will forgive me. Things have come up and I need to take care of them. (Eki and Matt enter)
Eki: Hey Author.
Matt: We just came to pick up Smokey.
Author: …….
Matt: Where is he? (Matt starts looking around for Smokey)
Author: OUT! ROCKY KICK THEM OUTTTTTTTTT!
Rock: Why? They are my cousins.
Author: Doooooooooo it!
Rock: Get out of the Rocks courtroom like the Author lady says too. (they shrug and leave)
Spike: What was that all about?
Lance: Aboot. (a/n: I know, this is all I use Lance for, but I love him and gotta give him some sorta credit!)
Kane: (appearing out of nowhere) I thought I got rid of you!
Lance: AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (he runs out of the room, Kane follows)
Spike: Right…So, you're definitely not going?
Author: Let's get this shitty court over with. I have somewhere to go.
Spike: SO you are going?
Rock: Wait, you're not going to insult me before we start the case? This confuses the Rock.
Author: Rocky, I'm not in the damn mood to sit here and listen to you. Let's get this over with. Spike, I'm not going to be able to go to Vegas. However, you really need to go. I don't think Bubba would appreciate you not showing up. I mean, I know you guys used to feud a lot, but you really need to go.
Spike: You can't go?
Author: I told you, I have to take care of something.
Spike: All right, but Dani and Bubba aren't going to be happy.
Author: Send them my best. (Leah kisses Spike on the cheek and Spike leaves)
Kevin: What's wrong Author?
Author: It's a long story, call the litigants please.
Kevin: I don't know who they are yet. No one has filed a suit. (Christian enters)
Author: Maybe he'll want to sue someone.
Christian: Where's my theme music?
Kevin: Great. The whiny, temper tantrum bitch has entered.
Christian: Last time I got music hermy!
Rock: Hey! No one calls the hermaphrodite that except for me!
Kevin: Shut up!
Christian: I want my theme music you assclown! (Everyone waits thinking Jericho will come in and bitch. When that doesn't happen, they slowly move on) So? Where is it?
Author: …sigh…. (Author goes to a CD player, turns it on and Christians music plays.) I'll be in chambers icing my body from last episodes attack. (Walks into chambers, locks the door, and you hear a long exasperated sigh.)
Random: Meanwhile, back in the court room…
Rock: Did you see that? She stole my chambers!
Kevin: Shut up Rock! (Spike re-enters)
Spike: Has Leah decided to go to the wedding? I mean, I know she's stubborn and all, but this is ridiculous. (Christians music is still playing) Is the Rock in love with Christian or something? (Kevin Kelly turns off the music)
Kevin: No, Christian bitched at Leah, she turned it on and left the room. She locked herself in Rock's chambers. Why is she so sad? And pissed off?
Spike: She's not pissed off, at least I don't think she is. But I have no idea what's wrong with her. She watched Raw, was angry for me joining the TLC match, visited Bubba in the hospital with me, Dreamer, and Dani. Then, she was ok. I woke up this morning and she had already left. The room looked like a tornado had passed thru-
Hurricane: Are you sure it wasn't a (dramatic pose) Hurricane?
Spike: Are you insinuating that you're sleeping with my fiancée?
Hurricane: Huh?
Lance: (re-appearing) Eh?
Hurricane: What?
Kane: GET HIM! (Hurricane and Kane chase after Lance. Lance runs like all hell, yelling on his exit)
Spike: Where were we?
Kevin: Maybe she's sad that Bubba got hurt.
Spike: Naw, I know it's not that. I can't figure it out. (RVD enters) Hey Rob.
RVD: Shhhhhhhhh! (Whispering) Are you trying to get me KILLED? (Author comes out of the room and makes a mad dash for RVD)
Author: You EVIL FOOL! (She starts choking him)
Spike: (trying to pull Leah off of RVD, Kevin Kelly helps) Whoa, Leah, calm down. (RVD gags)
RVD: (Barely able to talk) Man, that was totally uncool. (Author lunges at RVD)
Author: I…will…..kill….YOU!
RVD: I just came to apologize!
Author: Where is he ROB?
RVD: (he gulps) I don't know what you're talking about.
Author: WHERE?
RVD: I don't know that stupid Hurricane escaped.
Author: You know I had to spend an hour convincing him he didn't need to go into hiding with the Messiah?
RVD: The Messiah?
Author: Yea, he's an Indy wrestler. He's in hiding because some asshole clipped off two of his fingers after breaking into his house. (A/N: I hope the Messiah is doing well, recovering and will be back on the scene ASAP!)
RVD: Well, I didn't do anything so blah.
Author: Rob, just tell me where he is. (Bubba enters) GO DUCKS! (grabs Spike and hides behind a couch)
Bubba: Hey Rob. You seen Spike? (Rob points to behind the couch) Spike? Ya back here? (Bubba picks Spike up by the shirt.) Hi, remember me? I'm your half-brother and I think we've met before.
Spike: Funny Bubba, real funny. What do you need?
Bubba: Are you coming with us?
Spike: I have to wait for a certain fiancée of mine.
Bubba: You better not miss my wedding. If you do, I promise a certain amount of destruction.
Spike: To what?
Bubba: Your body, a certain fiancée of yours body, your house, her Prayfish-
Author: IT WAS YOU? BUBBA! I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!
Bubba: Huh? (Lance Storm sprints in)
Lance: ITS EH DAMMIT! (hurries out, with the Hurricane and Kane still closely behind)
Bubba: What the hell?
RVD: He's been Canadian-izing words every chance he gets.
Bubba: That explains Lance, but what's up with Spikes fiancée? (Author is pouting in a corner while be comforted by Spike)
RVD: We're not sure. We've been trying to figure it out all morning. She tried to choke me earlier.
Bubba: Oh..(Dani enters)
Dani: Hi Bubba.
Bubba: Hey. Um, you wouldn't know why I got a letter about Triple H in a tutu right?
Dani: Nope, I have no idea. Where's Leah?
Bubba: (points to Leah) Careful, she's not sane.
Dani: She never has been. (Dani walked over to Leah, hinted at Spike to leave, Spike did) YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT TRIPLE H IN A TUTU?
Author: Dude, it was Veronica! I swear! (Veronica enters)
Veronica: LIES! IT WASN'T ME! (Steven Murray and Cory "Nasty" Nastazio enter, Veronica exits)
Steve: Hockey Author?
Author: Shit.
Steve: YOU DIDN'T WATCH MY RUN BECAUSE OF HOCKEY?!?
Author: Commercials actually, you had the competition in the bag!
Nasty: Just out of curiosity, why'd you miss my run? (Steve is fuming in the background)
Author: Bannonluke's fan fiction.
Nasty: Yeah, I would probably read those over watching my runs any day. I'll see you at home Steve. (Nasty leaves)
Steve: What about the replay? Why'd you miss that?
Author: Listen, I'm sorry I missed you're run. Really, I am. I actually enjoy watching you bike, but this is a WRESTLING fan fiction and I'd rather not get my ass kicked by wrestlers again. So, please, leave. (Steve exits) Now, what's wrong Dani?
Dani: You told Bubba that I thought he was going to leave me for Triple H in a tutu?
Author: You weren't serious about that were you?
Dani: Flair left me for Triple H.
Author: Flair is an old, twisted man remember?
Dani: Point taken, just never tell Bubba about the tutu thing EVER again.
Author: Okay. You should go.
Dani: You're not coming?
Author: I'll try to make it before you guys start the service, but I don't know. (Dani leaves)
Spike: Leah, I know that for some odd reason you feel like you can't leave-
Author: I think Bubba and RVD stole Smokey.
RVD: I DIDN'T STEAL SMOKEY! (Scott Hall enters in his Barbie mobile laughing, Raven enters in his shopping cart, Nash in his electric wheelchair, Jeff and Veronica follow suit in Scott Halls' golf cart.)
Author: Oh come on guys! I'm still recovering from last episode!
Scott: We want to file a case.
Author: Finally, talk to Kevin Kelly.
RVD: Where's Smokey? I think you're hurting the poor guy! (They bicker in the background)
Scott: Kevin Kelly, me, Jeffro Hardy, Veronica Lady, and Kevin Nash anted to sue the Undertaker.
K.K.: Why?
Scott: He cheated.
K.K.: How? And in what?
Scott: He won the race.
K.K.: And how exactly did he cheat?
Scott: Because he won the race.
K.K.: By cheating?
Scott: (annoyed) Can we sue him or not?
K.K.: Legally speaking? No. But, technically, the Rock can't decide cases either. So sure. Have fun! (You hear the Author crying in the background) What the hell did you do Rob?
RVD: Nothing! She accused me of stealing something and then she just started to cry!
Spike: (trying to comfort Leah) What's wrong?
Author: …Smokey…
RVD: Is he sick? I'm sure somebody knows how to take care of him! I know you're still mad at me for breaking tradition and whatever and I'm really sorry. I didn't know you couldn't name him till he was two! I thought you just hadn't named him yet! I'm really sorry!
Author: ….Smokey….ran…away from me!!! (Author starts crying loudly)
RVD: Smokey left her Spike? (Spike looked just as confused as RVD) Are you sure he left you? (no response, just cries) Leah? Come on, I'm sure Smokey didn't run away from ya. (Whimpering is heard, but no other response)
Spike: Rob, just give her Smokey back.
RVD: Man, that is so totally uncool. I did NOT steal Smokey.
Author: If you didn't steal him, then he ran away.
RVD: What about the Hurri-dork?
Author: It wasn't him. Smokey ran away from me. I guess we should go to the wedding. (Leah gets up and leaves still pouting over the loss of her prayfish)
Spike: I guess I should follow her. Rob, find Smokey?
RVD: I will, I promise. (Spike walked towards the door of the courtroom)
Spike: (Now standing at the door, almost outside of the courtroom) You know, you're like a brother then me. Hell, in ECW Tazz, Dreamer, and you were the only guys who would even acknowledge. Alright, so you were better then my brothers on most occasions, but I swear if you took Smokey, I will kick your ass.
RVD: I'm (does thumb thing) Rob Van Dam! I don't steal. But, I have an idea. Just go to the wedding. Meanwhile, the Rock will deal with Everyone vs. the Undertaker. I will get a plan to find out who stole Smokey. (Spike leaves) I'm going to talk to my first suspect-
Rock: Do you think you're Gregory Helms too? The Rock says one of those guys walking around is too many if you ask the Rock.
RVD: We didn't. Shut up. I think the Hurricane stole Smokey. Bye. (RVD leaves)
Rock: What is the Rock supposed to do? (Taker comes in)
Taker: Why am I here?
Veronica: Cheater!
Taker: What did you say boy? I mean, woman.
Veronica: ……..
Taker: I asked you a question.
Veronica: ………
Taker: I DEMAND RESPECT!
Veronica: (barely audible) I forgot the question sir.
Taker: Forget it lil' lady. Rocky, why am I here?
Rock: (K.K. hands him a paper) Thanks Hermie. It says um…. Vs. Undertaker.
Taker: It says what?
Rock: It's not legible. (Scott Hall, Veronica, Raven, Kevin Nash, and Jeff Hardy leave the room unnoticed.) Can you read this Hermy?
K.K.: (mumbles evil things about the Rock under his breathe, picks up the paper, reads it normal) It says "We, the (pause) New which is crossed out, (pauses) um, Flock, but that's crossed out too, (pauses again) n.W.o. which is crossed out, and then it says, well I think it says Wolfpac but that is crossed out too. Then, there is a lot of scribbles. Following the scribbles is something, I think that's a foreign language! Under that, it says "Flockpac" but even that is crossed out.
Rock: The Flockpac?
Kevin: Yup. Two WCW factions rolled into one.
Rock: Flockpac? Where are you? (Music hits. Raven crowing then it switches to original n.W.o theme and then to the Wolfpac theme. After the music plays, Kevin Nash enter standing next to each other. Behind Raven is Veronica, behind her is Jeff Hardy who is being dragged along. Scott Hall is standing behind Kevin Nash.) You're the Flockpac?
Raven: Yes.
Taker: Boy, you better have a good reason for being here.
Raven: We are not degenerates and by not being a degenerate, we have minds. We are not afraid to use them and would not waste the time of ourselves. We have better things to do than rant unneeded rants. We are here as members who wish for justice when they are stricken with injustice. We have great reasons for our presence in this courtroom. We, the members, of the Flock have decided-
Kevin: (Kevin stands over Raven, obviously overpowering him) Excuse me?
Raven: Sorry Nash. The members of the Flock-PAC are suing the Undertaker for heinous actions and degenerate behavior. (Raven uses a bunch of big words and talks for about five minutes. Rock starts looking at his watch, a few members of the Flockpac are starting to fall asleep.) We know what you are up to Taker and this heinous actions you have been using against us and our group. We are completely against your actions and find them despicable, we believe you are spreading your hostility throughout the world. Not only that, but, you act as if everyone is a fool and you are the only smart creature remaining. You see, Undertaker, the matter of the fact is that we are not fools. We only play pawns in your game, but when the time comes and the world aligns itself ready for the perfect moment you will fail and the wrath of Raven will be felt again. This time with an extreme force because the Flockpac will be standing with him and creating all that is us. We will remind the world of the fools they are and once again you will be playing in my game of chess and I will murder you're King. You see, we have already---
Rock: Shut up!
Undertaker: Thank You. Listen, Rock, we all know that I don't really like you. But, you know these accusations are COMPLETELY false. (long pause) Wait, a damn minute, do you even know WHAT they are accusing me of?
Rock: .......
Undertaker: You Don't!
Rock: Nope, don't really care either. Flockpac care to inform us what you are suing the Undertaker for?
Raven: AS I was saying---
Rock: NO! Shut up! In less then six words, explain your case against Taker.
Raven: .......
Kevin: I'll take this one Raven. Simply put, YOU CHEAT TAKER!
Undertaker: You guys want a re-match err.. I mean a re-race?
Flockpac: YES!
Undertaker: All you had to do was ask, I would have given you guys one.
Raven: (walks to the door, holds it open) Are you going or not?
Taker: To steal the Rock's phrase: Just Bring it! Let's go. (The Flock-pac and Taker walk out the door) Ok, where do we start and where do we end?
Raven: We start here, we end in the ring. But, we have to go through Bischoff's office.
Taker: Why the Bisch's office?
Raven: Haven't you heard that there is a reward out for who ever tortures Bischoff the most?
Taker: I heard the one about Triple H. Bisch has the same deal?
Raven: Naw, Trips is worth a little more money. There was a third person on the list, I'm just forgetting who.
Veronica: Was it Edge?
Raven: No. Let's just start the race. First one who gets to the ring wins. But, you have to go do two circles around Pickoffs office. Against all of our wishes Nick Patrick is at Bischoffs office and will make sure everybody does two runs.
Undertaker: Couldn't you get Choita (sp?) or someone?
Raven: Well, just to be fair, we have Brian Hebner there too. One Smackdown! and one Raw ref even if the Raw ref sucks.
Undertaker: I'm almost afraid to ask, but who's at the finish-line?
Raven: Mike Choita and that guy who resembles Spike Dudley.
Undertaker: Spike Dudley still wrestles.
Raven: I know, it's not Spike Dudley. It's a Raw ref. He looks a lot like Spike Dudley.
Undertaker: What's his name?
Raven: We aren't really sure. I mean we tried figuring it out, but then we just kept talking about how much he remind us of the smaller Dudley.
Undertaker: Oh! I know who you guys are talking about. Charles Robinson, you're right he does look a lot like Spike. Are you ready to start this race?
Raven: Yes, we are. We need someone to start the race for us. (The Rock storms out of his courtroom)
Rock: Are you telling the Rock that the Rock does NOT get to decide this case?
Raven: Basically, we settled out of court.
Rock: So, the Rock gets to go home?
Raven: Nope. Rock, can you count down from five and start our race for us?
Rock: (overly exicited) OK!!!! Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Jabronis start your engines! (they all race off.) Now, what do I do?
K.K.: Go home. (Kevin Kelly and the Rock leave.)
MEANWHILE, BACK IN RVD'S DRESSING ROOM...
RVD: So, Hurricane, if that is you're real name...Did you steal Smokey??
Hurricane: Dude, Rob, I didn't steal Smokey, if anyone did it would be you. I mean, you did try to steal him from me Now, please, let me go. And by the way, you so totally know my name is Shane.
RVD: I'm on to you Hurricane, I'm on to you.
Hurricane: Rob, you're scaring me here. And, I'm just going to leave you alone now...(Hurricane walked out of the room)
RVD: Who stole that damn pray-fish?!?!???
HA! I am deciding to end it..........here..........sorry for the some-what mary-sue esque style. I had do to finish somethings for my friends so I don't get die soon. Well, I might anyway, but this is just kinda so it doesn't happen a whole lot sooner. I hope you enjoyed this, please R&R.
Who stole Smokey? Will Rob ever find it out?
How many tables at a Dudley Family wedding? How many people go through tables?
Who won the Race? Does the Undertaker really cheat?
Does anyone else think that Robinson guy looks like Spike?
How many people are going to get paid for hurting Bischoff? Trips?
When well I next update this?
Author: To tell you the Truth, I hope its soon. But, I got struck with an idea earlier today, and I might make a one chapter story about that first. Did I mention my friends are making me write some porn? *that won't be posted on FF.net because of the no NC-17 or above rule!* I really hope I can put this story to rest soon as I'm kinda out of inspiration with Rock gone. I don't know. I have at least two more chapters left in me. Maybe more. Who knows? Well, I hope you guys liked this....If you didn't I apologize for yet ANOTHER horrible story.....Later.
How many times do I have to add a few questions for some random unknown impact?
What about Raven?
And the most important question of all:
Why isn't anyone reviewing?