Merton folded his pillow over his head in a vain attempt to block out the incessant bleeping of his alarm clock. He had only just managed to get to sleep, it couldn't be time to get up, not yet. It couldn't be the beginning of his Last Day. He just wanted to sink back into the comfortable warmth of sleep and not have to worry, but it was too late. Already the fear and panic had begin to form a knot in his stomach, and that combined with the noise meant his chance to sleep was over, he was already re-entering the state he had found himself in the previous night, laying sleeplessly in bed and praying that the last few days hadn't happened.
He got up, showered, dressed and went to school, all the time telling himself that this wouldn't he the last time he did each thing. Tommy was going to save him, he wasn't going to die, he would be able to relax by this time tomorrow. It didn't help. All he could think of was what was going to happen to him, would it hurt to die? What sort of funeral would his parents decide on? Would Tommy cry? He could think of nothing else, all the other little details of life that used to seem so important to him had become trivial and irrelevant, he longed for the time when his biggest worry was a beating from T'n'T or the embarrassment of tripping up in front of a girl he liked. None of that seamed important any more.
The strangest thing was that for everyone else the world was going on as normal. Becky still worried about her complexion and not being seen with her brother, the teachers still bothered over missing homework and handing out detentions and most of the students of Pleasentville High still stared at him as he walked past, either considering flinging an insult his way or wondering about the rumours they had heard. In every other way things seemed so normal, no one else knew that all Merton J. Dingle wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide from the world, or that he felt so sick with worry that he could barely notice what they said to him as he passed them on his way to class.
Tommy smiled at him reassuringly as he sat down next to him, but Merton didn't even notice, all he was aware of was that the pounding in his chest had increased in volume when the taller boy entered the room and he thought about what had happened the previous night between himself and Tommy's future self and how he had to tell Tommy about it before…before he died.
He wished he had known sooner how little time he had left, he would have given himself the chance to do all the things he had never done but wanted to, now he had to squeeze everything into less than twenty four hours. The first thing he had to do was talk to Tommy. Taking a deep breath he tapped the jock silently on the shoulder and beckoned for him to follow. They crept out of the classroom and into the rapidly emptying corridor, now filled with students running to avoid being late for class and teachers strolling to their classrooms at a leisurely pace. They avoided their teacher as she entered the classroom by turning away as she passed, then Merton waited until there was no one around, and until he could find the ability to speak and to work out exactly what he wanted to say.
"Look, Tommy," he said eventually, his heart pounding even louder in his chest, "There's something else your future self told me, something I didn't tell you last night."
"Yeah? What is it?"
"Um…He told me…" He couldn't do it, he couldn't bring himself to just blurt it out like that in the middle of the school corridor where anyone could turn up and ask them what they were doing. "He told me why the Gorath wanted to kill me instead of you."
Tommy remembered asking Merton about that the night before and Merton had evaded the question, why wouldn't he want Tommy to know? "Okay, so what's the reason?" he prompted.
Merton sighed loudly and waved his hands in the air in frustration. Why couldn't Tommy just know? Why did he have to be the one to do this. He just didn't have the words to explain everything, sure he could tell Tommy what his future self had said, what they had done, but he just couldn't express the feelings, the idea of suddenly realising the truth about his emotions. He didn't know how, he didn't exactly have a lot of experience in that sort of thing. Giving up on words, he grabbed hold of the front of Tommy's T-shirt and dragged him into the nearest empty classroom, closing the door behind them.
Undeterred by the look of surprise on his friend's face, Merton moved closer and kissed him. It was his third kiss with Tommy in as many days, but this one was different. This was the real Tommy, not his future self. This Tommy had no idea of what had happened before. A horrible thought occurred to Merton, what if future and past Tommy had never really been real, what if they were just alternate personalities, what if there had been something wrong with Tommy?
This Tommy could have no feelings for him whatsoever, this Tommy, his best friend, his only friend, could hate him for this. He could lose everything. In this one moment his life, however long it would last, had changed forever. He just didn't know what had changed, whether Tommy would push him away in disgust and never speak to him again, or whether they might become something more than friends. If it was possible, the knot in his stomach pulled itself tighter, until he realised something.
Tommy was kissing him back.
Hesitantly at first, then with more certainty and passion. It had all been true! Relief flooded through Merton's body, resulting in a sigh or relief that emerged from his lips as a moan of passion. He never wanted the moment to end, he wanted to wrap himself up in Tommy's arms and stay there forever, but it was impossible. They were at school, and they could be seen by anyone.
Calling on all the self control he could muster, Merton pulled away from the taller boy realising as he did how difficult it mist have been for future Tommy to do the same thing the night before. "Not here, we can't." He managed to say.
Tommy stepped back, looking at his best friend in a whole new light, he had never imagined. All this time he had been trying to decide whether this was what he really wanted, why? Nothing had ever felt so right, this was the way that things were meant to be, he could feel it right through him, from his tingling skin to his racing heart. Merton wanted him and he wanted Merton. He nodded and tried to start his brain working again. How had this happened? Merton had been trying to tell him something. Then he remembered the Gorath. In the moment he had forgotten everything, he had forgotten the danger that Merton was in and suddenly is came rushing back to him. Merton could die! He wasn't going to let it happen, he needed Merton. And the Gorath wanted to kill Merton because… "Because I love you. That's why it wants you dead."
Merton nodded, closing his eyes against the tears that were beginning to well up again.
"It's not going to do it Merton, I swear, I'm going to beat it."
"I know you will." He didn't know how convincing he sounded, he still couldn't believe that changing the past was possible, but Merton knew that even if Tommy didn't save his life he would die knowing that Tommy loved him and that was enough. Of course, if he didn't die that would be good too…
Merton was pacing the lair, glancing every few seconds at his watch or the clock on the wall. He had been at it for almost an hour while Tommy, sat, silently, watching him. It wasn't that he didn't understand how Merton felt, he had had his share of times when he thought he was going to die, more than any kid his age had the right to have had, he just wished he didn't have to watch Merton suffer. He knew it was selfish but he wished the Goth would stop pacing, sit down and act like everything was normal. Tommy was confident he would be able to beat the Gorath, after all it had been hardly any bother to beat its mate. He knew that Merton had a right to be anxious and he knew his friend didn't think it was possible for future Tommy to change his past, but he felt a little insulted at Merton's lack of confidence in him. Not only that, but he wanted to comfort Merton, and it was hard to do when he was pacing the room and biting his nails.
"Will you come and sit down?" he asked for the fifth time, patting the couch next to him. For the fifth time Merton glanced at him, stopped pacing, then looked away and carried on again. "Merton, please," he tried, "what good will it do walking up and down all night? You'll just get yourself tired out." There was another two hours to go before the time future Tommy had told them the Gorath would attack.
Merton carried on pacing until Tommy, unable to take it any more, got up and stood in front of him, forcing him either to stop or walk around. Merton chose to stop. "Please stop," Tommy insisted.
"Why should I? What's the point spending my last night on Earth sitting around waiting to die? You don't know what it's like Tommy, I feel like I'm on death row waiting for my execution."
"I do know," Tommy told him, "I've felt the same way before, when Death came for me, and I know that pacing won't help you. You want to feel like you're doing something useful but there's nothing we can do now. All there is to do is to wait and be ready at the right time. Neither of us will be ready if you tire yourself out pacing and distract me by walking past me every few seconds. Do you know what it's like to spend the better part of an hour looking at your ass walking up and down the room?" Merton almost laughed, but caught himself. Tommy sighed, "If you want to burn some energy I know a much better way." He smiled seductively and Merton nodded, feeling a similar smile forming on his own face. He held up his hands in mock defeat and sat down, Tommy joined him and Merton once again felt excitement building up inside him as Tommy leaned towards him.