[Breathing:  Part II, Chapter II]

~*~

He woke to the sound of voices, and raised his head from the pillow to peer at the door.  In doing so, he realized two things simultaneously:  one, he was naked and swathed in blankets, and two, Sai was lying just behind him, one arm slung protectively over his waist.  For a moment he just lay there, head raised and eyes wide in shock, but then he smiled, let his head fall to the pillow, and relaxed into the warmth of Sai's arms.

We did it.  We did it, for real this time, and I...I liked it.  Great Suzaku, I liked it. 

Sai's breathing was warm and steady behind him, and unconsciously, he slowed his own breathing to match it. 

I could stay here forever, I think.  I really could.

The thought had barely echoed in his mind when, abruptly, the low murmur of voices got a lot louder.

"Yo, Ryuuen and Sai!" came a shout from the living room.  "Fuckin' get your asses out here!"

Despite himself, Ryuuen giggled, bringing a hand to his mouth to muffle the sound.  The movement--or, more likely, Genrou's yelling--stirred Sai from sleep; the younger man came awake with a sleepy groan, stretching as he did so.  Still giggling, Ryuuen twisted onto his back and turned to face the other man.

"Ne, uh, Sai," he said with a lopsided grin.  "Gen-chan's here."

Those amber eyes widened, just slightly, flicking automatically to the door.  After that, however, Sai's features smoothed into their usual state of calm, and he leaned over to kiss Ryuuen on the forehead.  "He can wait," he murmured.  And then, with a hint of a crease sliding through his brow:  "Was it all right that time?  We don't have to do it again if you still don't feel comfortable with it."

Ryuuen studied him for a long moment, contemplating the phrasing of his answer.  "It was good," he said at last.  "It was..."  He smiled, snuggling close to give Sai a tight hug.  "It was perfect.  Thank you."

Sai squeezed back, rubbing a hand along the length of his spine.  "It wasn't just me, you know," he said with a grin.  "I'm not sure, but I think you helped, too."

"YOOOOO!" Genrou bellowed.  "We're fuckin' waiting!"

Ryuuen giggled again.  "We better get dressed.  If we're not out there soon, he might come in here."  He sat up in the bed, the blankets pooling at his waist.  "We'll be out in a few minutes, Gen-chan!  Be patient!"

He heard a bit of laughter from outside, and realized with a flush that all of their friends--Houjun, Miaka, Taka, Genrou, Juan, Shouka, and probably Doukun--were out there waiting for them.  The thought made him feel suddenly naked, the flush creeping into a dark blush of scarlet, but before he could cross his arms over his chest, Sai sat up and hugged him from behind.

"Sweetheart," he said softly, fitting Ryuuen's head neatly beneath his chin, "this is nothing to be ashamed of.  We're both adults, and we've been married for more than seven months.  If it isn't okay now for us to do this now, I don't know when it would be."

Ryuuen sighed, a warm little smile coming to his lips.  "I know.  But it's hard not to be ashamed when your parents drill into you that sex is bad, bad, bad for most of your life, and then throw you out into the world and expect you to be able to have a normal relationship with someone."

"Well," Sai said, bending down to kiss him on the cheek, "our relationship is far from normal, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Now, shall we scout about the room for our pajamas, or are new outfits in order for this get-together?"

"Well, we could always go out there like this and say that our clothes are only visible to people with good taste."

Sai laughed.  "I see.  The emperor's new clothes.  Very clever."

Grinning, Ryuuen twisted to give the man a quick kiss.  "I thought so."

They dressed quickly, a bashful Ryuuen doing so in the bathroom.  Despite their recent intimacy, the thought of dressing in front of Sai still embarrassed him, although he really didn't think it made much sense.  After all, Sai had seen him this afternoon--all of him--and yet somehow, that seemed only to apply to the safe little world beneath the covers.  This was a different world.  This was the world he was used to, the one where even lovers--the word sent a jolt up his spine--did not see one another in states of undress.

Twisting the button of his jeans into place, Ryuuen smiled.  But, it was okay.  Sai understood; he'd laughed out loud at the smaller man's retreat, but had assured him that he wasn't offended at the sudden modesty.  And despite all the years of insecurities stacked against him, Ryuuen knew that the other man was serious.  He wasn't going to go away, not for this or for anything, and knowing that somehow made everything seem brighter.

After tugging a blue polo shirt over his head, the eighteen-year-old leaned his hands on the sink counter and peered at himself in the mirror.  His cheeks were slightly flushed, his lips seemingly intent on smiling, and although his hair was frizzy and sticking up in the back like a purple-haired Dennis the Menace, he thought that he'd never looked so...beautiful.  It was as if Sai's beauty had somehow been superimposed over his own, as if the joining of their bodies had somehow joined more than that.

As if they were a part of each other now, moreso than ever before.  As if they were one.

Well, if we're one, he thought wryly, grabbing a hairbrush from the drawer, the Sai part of me would never want to be seen in public with his hair this messy. 

After his hair had been coerced into lying flat, he returned the hairbrush and moved to the door, but hesitated before opening it.

"Sai?" he called through the wood.  "Sai, are you done?"

Only silence answered him, and as that silence stretched onward, a little tremble of fear began in his stomach. 

Don't panic.  It's probably nothing.  Maybe he went out already.  Maybe he's just teasing me.  Maybe he's waiting right ouside the door and when I open it, he'll jump out and...

But, no.  He...felt something, something that told him that everything was not all right.  The tremble of fear in his stomach was twisting into a sick, dark feeling, thundering in his chest and clenching at his heart.  Something was wrong.  Something was wrong, and if he didn't get out there soon...

He couldn't finish the thought.     

He grabbed the doorknob, twisting it hurriedly to the left, but to his horror, it stuck.  Eyes wide and panicked, he shook it back and forth, trying to get it open--the lock, after all, was on the inside, and so it made no sense for it to be stuck now.  It was unlocked.  It was unlocked, and yet no matter how much he twisted it, no matter how much he begged and pleaded for it to open, the door knob refused. 

"Sai!" he called again, this time with a break of tears in his voice, still working helplessly at the knob.  "Sai, please, answer me!  Please, I can't get the door open, please!"

He was just about to sink to the floor and give up, helpless tears spilling forth, when abruptly, something changed.  It felt, all of a sudden, as if a warmth had descended upon his skin, like being slowly immersed in a warm bath; the touch soothed the panic from his mind, relaxed his tensed muscles, and even before the voice came to him, he knew that it was Suzaku.

Nuriko, the voice of the god whispered.  Remember who you are.  Remember.

And suddenly, he could feel the sign of the Willow blazing at his collarbone, and before he could reconsider or remember how afraid he was, he'd stepped backwards, tensed his muscles, and then slammed his shoulder into the door as hard as he could.  The wood splintered where he hit into it, tiny chips spraying everywhere, pricking his skin, but he barely noticed them. 

Once more.  Just once more, and it'll break.  I know it'll break.  I know it will. 

It has to.

Jaw clenched tightly, he took a few steps backwards, moving as far away from the door as he could, his legs brushing against the toilet, and then he began to run.  It was difficult, building up much speed in such a small space, but his leg muscles shoved him forwards anyway, faster and faster, and then just a few steps in front of the door, he bent his knee and leaped forward and twisted in mid-air.  His shoulder slammed into the wood with an audible crunch, although whether of bone or wood, he wasn't sure.  The door bulged outwards as he hit it, straining as if meeting some sort of invisible force field, but after a moment, it broke free and soared outwards.  As he watched, the wood fell to the carpeting with a crash, the impact sending up a breath of cedar-scented wind, and just like that, he was free.

Breathing heavily from the exertion, his shoulder throbbing, Ryuuen stepped out of the bathroom and onto the felled door, and turned with fearful eyes to the bedroom.  He wasn't really sure what he was expecting to see.  Sai, lying on the floor.  Sai, covered in blood.  Sai, gone forever because he couldn't get there in time.  But, Sai wasn't lying on the floor, and Sai wasn't gone forever.  He was standing with his back to the far corner, body bent into a half crouch with fists held out before him.  He was standing.  Not lying.  Not dead.  Standing.  The only visible sign of trauma was a darkening bruise on his left cheek, and a thin, knife-like gash along the length of his right arm.  He was wearing a pair of beige trousers but nothing else, and his bare chest rose and fell in time with his harsh breathing.   

Their eyes met, then, Sai's wide and unusually-fearful; and then the moment broke and they were running towards each other on shaky legs, arms outstretched and features twisted in relief.  A heartbeat later Ryuuen was scooped up into Sai's arms and held close, and everything was all right again.

"Sai," he whispered.  He cleared his throat, forcing a bit of strength into his voice.  "Sai, what happened?  Are you all right?  Who did this?"

Sai was shaking, his muscles visibly tense without a shirt to hide them.  As he drew breath to answer, however, there came a sudden pounding from across the room.  Ryuuen ripped himself immediately from Sai's embrace, spinning around with fists in front of him, jaw clenched in determination--but he relaxed an instant later, recognizing the sound for what it was.

Not wanting to let Sai out of his sight, he took the man's hand to walk to the door, and was just reaching for the knob when there was a pop of displaced air, and suddenly Houjun was standing right beside him.  Ryuuen jumped, falling back against Sai's chest, and the blue-haired man gave a brief apologetic smile.

"Gomen ne no da, Nuriko.  Hotohori-sama."  Armed with memories of the past, Ryuuen couldn't help but find it strange, seeing the monkly magician in a simple white dress shirt and brown slacks.  All thoughts of proper apparel left his mind, however, as Houjun's eyes found the remains of the bathroom door, as well as Sai's wounds, and the smile melted from his features.

"'Chiri, what the fuck is going on in there?" came Genrou's shaky voice through the door.  "They fuckin' all right?"

Houjun turned his head briefly to the side.  "They're all right," he called.  And then, as the murmur of voices began through the door, he turned back to Ryuuen and Saihitei.  "What happened here no da?  I felt..."  He shook his head.  "I felt something.  And then, we heard a crash."

Ryuuen glanced at Sai.  "I was in the bathroom," he said in a small voice.  "I...I called for Sai, but he didn't answer, and the door was stuck, so I...I broke it down." 

Behind him, Sai drew a deep breath, then let it trickle through parted lips.  His breathing had settled somewhat, and he seemed to have stopped shaking, but his muscles stayed rigid and tight.  "There was someone here," he said quietly.  "A man.  I...sensed him coming at me and turned around, but he was too fast."  Sai shook his head, one hand traveling to the bruise on his cheek.  His voice was very soft, but a thin undercurrent of anger tingled through it.  "By the time I got up, he was coming at me with a knife.  When Ryuuen broke down the door, he just...vanished."

Houjun's face was solemn, but definitely a little paler; his lips were a thin white line. "What did the man look like no da?"

Sai let out a long breath.  "I know who it was," he said quietly.  "I recognized him."

"Who?"  Ryuuen knew his voice was shaking, but the thought of that--of a man with a knife coming after Sai while he waited helplessly in the next room--shuddered through his body like an icy wind.  "Who was it?"

There was no hesitation.  "It was Ashitare," Sai said.  "The Seiryuu shichiseishi.  He looked different--human.  But I know it was him.  I remember...meeting, in the spirit world, and the feel of him is still the same.  It was him."

A long, shocked pause followed.  Ryuuen shook his head, sudden memories of snow and blood streaking across his vision, and it was several seconds before he could speak.

"How?" he finally managed.  "We're...we're five floors up, Sai.  How could he get in?  And..."  He shook his head.  "Why?  Why would he want to hurt us?  How would he even know who we are?"

Houjun's jaw clenched.  "If it really was Ashitare no da," he said slowly, "then I don't think he was working alone.  What I...felt...seemed like a barrier, and if what you say is true, Ryuuen, it was probably over the bathroom door.  And probably this door, too.  It blocked you from coming in, and from anyone hearing anything no da."

Ryuuen folded both arms over his chest, feeling suddenly cold; his shoulder still throbbed, but he barely noticed.  "But, why?  Why now?  Why us?"

"I don't know, no da," Houjun said.  His eyes flickered to the window, shut tight and locked from the inside.  "I don't know."

It seemed that that would be the end of the discussion, then, that they would open the door and join their friends and explain what had happened, but just as Ryuuen was reaching for the doorknob, Houjun went rigid.

"Wait," he whispered.  "Wait.  Ryuuen, Taka...Taka told me that you thought Suzaku was trying to lead you and Sai to adopt no da."

Frowning, Ryuuen nodded...and watched as Houjun's tensed features grew even tenser.

"That's why we're here, no da," he murmured.  "Shouka got word today--your adoption is going through.  Since it's a weekend, they won't be contacting you until tomorrow, but it went through.  There's a little boy, three years old, and...and he's yours, if you want him."

Ryuuen brought shaking hands to his mouth, tears suddenly hot in his eyes; a moment later, he felt Sai's strong arms around him, pulling him close.  The tearful joy didn't last long, however.  Hands slowly dropping to his sides, Ryuuen locked gazes with Houjun.

"What has that got to do with this?" he asked in a low, hoarse voice.  He was afraid he already knew the answer.

Houjun's voice was quiet.  "If Suzaku is guiding you to this boy, there must be a reason, even if we don't know it yet.  And if Seiryuu's will is against that reason, he might conceivably send his own warriors to try to prevent you from fulfilling it no da.  It would certainly explain the timing."

Ryuuen shook his head, clasping a hand over his eyes.  "This is crazy," he whispered.

"It is," Houjun said.  "But it also means that you have to make a choice no da."

A trial awaits you such as you have never faced, and once again, you will need to make a choice...

The violet-haired seishi swallowed, the hand at his eyes drifting to his collarbone.  The Willow pulsed beneath his shirt, warm and strong as a heartbeat, and the decision was made even before he opened his mouth.

"We're adopting that boy," he said firmly, taking Sai's hand in his own and squeezing it, "and no one is going to take him away from us.  No one."

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N O T E S

Big thanks, first of all, to everyone who reviewed (in order of appearance ^_~.):

Mouse-chan:  You were instrumental, as always, in getting this chapter (and the last) ship-shape and ready to go, and even more instrumental in giving me the courage to actually post my first sex scene!  Yes.  Historic day and all that.  Love ya, Mouse-chan! ^__^.

Kei-chan:  *snicker*  Nice manicure you've got there, Gen-chan.  What would Kouji say?  Hrmph. ^__~.  ...anyway.  Thanks for reviewing.  And I don't mind that you can't think of "stuff to say" in your reviews, just as long as you praise me shamelessly in person. :P:P:P

Qkslvr:   I'm glad you liked it, and that you thought it was "tasteful."  I really appreciated your review, because Kei-chan and Mouse-chan are obligated to read and review, as I beat them over the heads with rulers if they don't, so it was nice to have a reviewer not bound by violence!  Thanks! ^_~.

Skittles:  Thanks for reviewing—and for stopping by some of my old fics!  They were quite surprised to be reviewed, let me tell you. ^_~.

Trixie:   Just so you are aware, Mouse-chan and I both blame our recent corruption on you. ^_~.

Kaze-chan:  Bloody hell, what a review!  Whew!  ...thank you so much for giving such a thoughtful, in-depth review!  It really brightened my morning! ^___^.

Yeah, so I was a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit nervous about that last chapter, can ya tell?? ^_^;;;  Eheh.  Anyway, who's this boy Ryuuen and Sai are to adopt?  Why is he so important to the Seiryuu shichiseishi—and to Suzaku, for that matter?  And how the heck did Ashitare get up five floors and into Sai's and Ryuuen's bedroom??  These questions—and more—answered in the next chapter of....BREATHING!  Part II. ^_~. 

~Ryuen